OT- Baby Shower Invitation QUestion

[Mickeyteacher]

I'm currently co-hosting a baby shower for a family member (yes, the family that was at the cornfield wedding, but not the bride and groom). Last night the daddy to be asked me to include the following statement on the baby shower invitation:

The parents-to-be request that reciepts be included with gifts.

Ok, so what do you think? The hostess and I disagree about this one and I want to know if I'm wrong. I say it should not be placed on the invitation any where because it's rude.

I'll tell you that I'm in the minority and I'm a lot older then the other two hostesses.

S

 

[rlovew]

I would not put it on the invitations. I think if people choose to include a gift reciept that is nice but it shouldn't be asked for on the inviations. If the parents to be want to call frineds coming and tell them you can't do anything about that but I would refuse to put it on the invitations, as long as you don't mind not having to hostess if the parents to be get upset about it.

Rebecca

 

[PrincessNancy96]

As you know I laughed when you told me about it.

I would NOT be putting that on. For those who want to include it with their gift on their own would be fine.. However, my biggest fear (having had a family member who does this) is I spend the money on the new baby.. parents go and take everything back and pocket the money and the baby goes without.. When it happened to me, I got an email stating how they were disappointed I didn't get their new baby anything.. WHAT??? I did! Here is what I got you.. Needless to say, the next 2 babies she had.. she got a Congratulations verbally nothing more!

Sorry that they are putting you in such a position as this..

 

[Lisa]

I wouldn't agree to put that verbage in either.

 

[New England Eeyore]

I wouldn't put it in either. I also think it's rude. I think most people will generally include a gift receipt if its the sort of thing that may need to be returned.

 

[Mickster]

I also agree. I make invitations as a side job and I have never been asked to put any type of wording like that! Donations to be made in baby's name...books...gift registry, but never receipts. (my mom would say that it is tacky... ) Good luck. Hopefully, you won't have to do it. But if you do, at least is isn't for you. (How is that supposed to make you feel better?)

 

[Raenstoirm]

Why don't they just do a baby registry? That way the get exactly what they want and don't have to worry about returning. Plenty of stores do that now-a-days.

 

[ddavis860]

wow, people are amazing...demanding...strange... wow again... that's just odd...

I wouldn't do it either. I make gifties for babies... I'd feel pretty awkward if that was in my invite.

At my own baby shower, I had stuff to return, and I only had trouble at 1 store...

 

[pretty in tink]

Here's my take on this one-it's completely rude! It is basically saying..."hey, you are going to waste your time and money on a gift we probably won't want. Make sure we can take it back..." Ask any etiquette (sp?) expert and they'll tell you the same. These people should be grateful they are getting a gift, not anticipating taking it back. And I believe somebody mentioned home-made gifts. How can anybody include a receipt for that, and how does that make them feel? Sorry, just my little rant. Also, gift registry notes shouldnt be included in an invitation either, it's considered the same as "asking" for gifts. If somebody registers, that kind of information should be passed along aside from the invitation, either verbally, or via email, or something of that nature.

If you don't agree with what they are asking, then I wouldnt do it. This kind of issue is the kind that gets people talking about manners, etc. And as co-hostess, they'll probably include you in their discussions, too.

Although maybe I'm a little old-fashioned?

 

[Raenstoirm]

Also, gift registry notes shouldn't be included in an invitation either, it's considered the same as "asking" for gifts. If somebody registers, that kind of information should be passed along aside from the invitation, either verbally, or via email, or something of that nature.

This old "requirement" irritates me to no end. Guests will bring gifts, so why make them hunt for the store the couple is registered at? I have been to 6 weddings this summer and I have just taken to calling the bride or groom and asking where they are registered. It would save the hassle of all the guests if they just fessed up from the start.

 

[kelleigh1]

Totally tacky!

I'm actually making baby gifts right now. If I received an invitation like this, I'd be inclined to may my own receipt with the value being "Pricele$$".

 

[TPCShauna]

Here's my take on this one-it's completely rude! It is basically saying..."hey, you are going to waste your time and money on a gift we probably won't want. Make sure we can take it back..." Ask any etiquette (sp?) expert and they'll tell you the same. These people should be grateful they are getting a gift, not anticipating taking it back. And I believe somebody mentioned home-made gifts. How can anybody include a receipt for that, and how does that make them feel? Sorry, just my little rant. Also, gift registry notes shouldnt be included in an invitation either, it's considered the same as "asking" for gifts. If somebody registers, that kind of information should be passed along aside from the invitation, either verbally, or via email, or something of that nature.

If you don't agree with what they are asking, then I wouldnt do it. This kind of issue is the kind that gets people talking about manners, etc. And as co-hostess, they'll probably include you in their discussions, too.

Although maybe I'm a little old-fashioned?

Actually, etiquette approves the inclusion of registry information in a shower invitation as the purpose of a shower is to "shower" the recipient with gifts. Including the info in a wedding invitation is BEYOND tacky.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gee, Shawna. Why don't the parents just have you write something like, "We plan to return your gift so just give us a gift card." That's essentially what they are saying by asking for that statement.

Have you talked to the parents? Maybe explained how the guests are going to construe that statement? Possibly recommended that they register so that the registry info can be included in the invitation?

Is it possible that the parents don't realize how inappropriate that statement would be to include in the invitation? If they are young, they just may not realize. Either way, you are completely right and the other hostesses need to be told why that is completely not acceptable.

Good luck!

 

[Queenie]

Wow, that is so tacky! I can't imagine doing anything like that. We didn't include our registry info in our wedding invites, I thought it was like asking for presents which seemed rude.

 

[Mickeyteacher]

I have talked with the parents and I told them it was tacky and rude. I also told them I would not include it. I'm so glad I asked you guys because I was starting to feel like maybe I was wrong.

Thanks for the validation,
Shawna

 

[PrincessNancy96]

Hey didn't you get the memo???

My friends are NEVER wrong! (at least never will we admit it outloud!)

 

[jennyL]

I'm going to agree and say its rude. I do understand why they want to put it there after having just had a baby. Returns without a receipt are hard and a pain. Now if you bought something off my registry not a problem but for all the other random stuff that I really didn't want or I would have registered for it thats another story. LOL

I'm in the process of planning my SIL shower. Her colors are brown and blue so I think thats basically my theme but I'm still hunting for some cool invitations. I have another problem with her this shower will be her third and her registry is pretty picked over so I said why don't I just leave it off and if they ask I can tell them were it is or say something about getting some outfits or diapers or something but no she is pretty much insisting that I put it on there. I told her she needs to go and register for more stuff so that the now 30 or so people she wants to invite will have something to buy. Her registry was bad to begin with but this is getting ridiculous. I agreed to have this shower since she said it would be small since she was already having one in boston where she grew up and one at school sicne she's a teacher but its now turned bigger then I was expecting and there is noone offering to help out so its just me doing it all. I don't mind all the planning since thats my thing but I would have liked someone else to help pay for it. LOL

Ok enough rambling now. Back to tacky people.

 

[TPCShauna]

I have talked with the parents and I told them it was tacky and rude. I also told them I would not include it. I'm so glad I asked you guys because I was starting to feel like maybe I was wrong.

Thanks for the validation,
Shawna

Good for you for telling them.

 

[SusieStone]

Personally, I think that is about the rudest thing that I have ever heard.....Perhaps, the first gift the baby gets should be an Emily Post guide to manners as obviously they will not get any at home...

 

[pretty in tink]

oh Susie you crack me up

 

[PrincessNancy96]

My sister was just telling me about the worst etiquette found on wedding invitations.... especially for the reception..

something about X & Y have pots and pans, they have this, they have that..but what they don't have is money for their honeymoon... Please make all checks payable to Mr & Mrs XYZ...

I told my dsis, you send me an invitation like that.. you just go for it..but I'll tell you right now.. you'll be getting a check from me.. a card stock check made out to you and dfiance for X a month signed.. KISS MY BUTT!

I thought she was gonna choke! She laughed so hard!!