Only The Cool Kids Start Their Pre-Trip Reports This Early! - September Trip 2012

[BeckWhy]

So we got back from Atlantic City on April 16th, and as I stated my dad was still sick. He went to the doctor's on the 18th. He had turned jaundice while we were in AC, but you couldn't tell because the lighting isn't the best in hotel rooms.

They doctor immediately set my dad up with an abdominal MRI and an appointment with a gastro...doctor, I can't spell it. The following Monday (April 23) they did a biopsy of the liver. Thursday they diagnosed my dad with metastatic ocular melanoma of the liver. The gastro doctor referred my dad to an oncologist (only one where I live) and they refused to see my dad because he didn't have health insurance.

Sunday, April 29th, we took my dad to the ER because he was throwing up blood (sorry to gross you guys out). They admitted my dad to the hospital for dehydration early Monday morning.

Monday evening the gastro doctor came (since he was the admitting doctor) and told us my dad might only last a couple weeks long, but may not even make it through the night.

My older sister made it, from NYC, by 10 pm Monday night. My little sister and nephew made it, from Raleigh, NC, by 8 am Tuesday (I was actually prepared to book her a flight home Monday night or Tuesday morning). My aunt made it, from Seattle, by noon on Tuesday. My dad died about 5 pm Tuesday, May 1st.

 

[kaoden39]

Oh I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[BeckWhy]

Oh I am so sorry for your loss.

Thanks.

 

[BeckWhy]

I didn't post the story about my dad for sympathy... I have had my share of that over the past couple of weeks. But I know it's going to have a major effect on the Disneyland trip. I know Disneyland is planned for 4 and a half months away and a lot can change, but I can't even collect my thoughts enough to pack for a weekend away.

Well other than completely delaying my trip... my dad's death has other affects on my vacation.

My dad had wanted my mom, older sister, and I to go together. The problem is, now that my dad is gone there is no one to look over our dog and cat.
Another is no one to drive us. Now this is sort of easy to solve... just pay for parking. I just wish airport parking was cheaper (it's around $100).
Speaking of money, I'm not sure if my mom could afford to go after all the hospital and funeral expenses.
I think I've put on about 15 pounds since my dad died. I'm not really sure, I haven't stepped on a scale, but my clothes are tight, and my face looks pudgy. I really can't afford to buy new clothes and pay for a vacation also.

I'm almost positive that come September/October this trip will turn into a solo trip. I've done a WDW solo trip and LOVED it (I really don't ever want to WDW with anyone else again!), but I'm more nervous than ever traveling alone. I'm more afraid that the alone time will leave me too much time to think.

I'm probably over thinking this whole thing way too much. But I guess that's part of my personality.

 

[monkey30]

I wish you all the best, I know what cancer can do, mom is battling it now, which is why we are going to DL, so she can have one trip with the kids.

Just remember the fun you had in AC, I am sure that is what he would prefer, and if everyone can you take the trip in his memory, since that is what he wanted as well. We are all here for you if you need to chat. Thinking of you and hoping you are doing better.

As for the weight gain, it happens, all of us deal with grief in different ways, I stress eat.... trust me lots of stress in my life! I hope you can turn things around, and get back on track.

All the best

 

[BeckWhy]

Well, nothing really easy in my life right now. Unless I have a nervous breakdown or there are major attraction refurbs I think I'm going... by myself. I don't think there's anyway my mom will be able to go. My parents didn't have any money in the first place, and now my mom is going to be knee deep in medical bills.

As for me going with my older sister... we did a trip to WDW before and it was an epic fail.

So back to a solo trip. I'm really hoping Disneyland is as fun and exciting as WDW. Of course what am I talking about? I spent an entire day in bed at WDW. Hahaha

Let's see... Umm... did anyone see the major sale SouthWest just had? Normally a ticket to LAX is around $380... this sale brought it down to $250! Orlando down to $135. I almost hopped a plane! Hahaha. No Carsland yet though.

Ok, what else chaotic in my life? (At least for me....) I have to buy a car. I've owned mine since I got my license. I've text drove cars and have only found one I love driving. But when I found it I couldn't afford $30k plus on a car. Now they are hard to find. It's also not the most logical car. I'm not sure about reliability either. So I'm car shopping. This will take me longer than planning a trip to Disneyland.

And what is this? House is ending? It's one of my favorite shows. I just can't win.

 

[kaoden39]

Sometimes it feels as though life will never be easy again. I am sorry. When my dad died in 2000 it was rough for a while. There are no great words of wisdom I can pass on. I did what he always said he wanted us to do when he died and celebrated his life. We planted a tree, I got stinking drunk, I talked at his funeral telling a funny story about him. One that he totally would have approved of. I will tell you though that everyday after I drove my husband to work I stopped at the cemetery to visit his grave. I used the excuse that I wanted to keep track of when the headstone was put in. I would sit and talk to my dad. I never cried, I didn't cry for my dad until last year when my sister died.

I think the trip will be good for you. SherryE who is one of the mods on this part of the boards does solo trips regularly. I honestly think that she enjoys her time alone because then she doesn't have to please anyone but herself. Talk to her maybe she can help you come up with some ideas of what it is like to attack the parks alone.

 

[monkey30]

let me know how its going. I am debating a AP and going back for a solo in end of Nov or Dec, I want to see the xmas lights.

 

[BeckWhy]

If I lived my life how my dad wanted me to live my life, I'd never leave my house. I'm not joking. This may sound stupid (or naive, or something) but my dad controlled almost all aspects of my life. Where I went to college, my money... the fact that I still live at home and drive the same car I've driven for 10 years... I'm not saying that it's really a bad thing, I let him. I could have stood up to him. I came home from work every day for months crying because my dad was so mad about it.

Well anyways... I know my dad said that he wanted my mom, my sister and I all to go to Disneyland.

This is what I know now. We went to see a lawyer today, and my mom doesn't have to pay any of the medical bills. Plus anything in her name, joint accounts, or that she's a beneficiary of, she gets to keep.

The next thing is my mom doesn't work, and my dad's social security doesn't even cover my mom's bills. So come this fall, I'm not sure where she's going to stand monetary wise.

But it's looking more hopeful that my mom can go. With the exception of our dog.



Now I'm not actually worried about traveling solo except the time spent "by myself" when I can think.

But thanks for input about SherryE. I'll PM her if I think of any questions to ask her. Which I'm sure will come up.

OK time to go home.

 

[kaoden39]

I am glad that your mom doesn't have to face the medical bills. What a relief that must be. What about boarding the dog at the vet? I know our vet boards for like $35 a day.


I know that Sherry will be a great help!

 

[BeckWhy]

We're really nervous about boarding the dog. I don't even know if there is a place around here where we can board him anyways.

But we are just really worried about him emotionally. I mean I kid you not my dad treated our dog like a kid. He made him pretty dishes of food to eat, tucked him in at night, made sure he had a nice pillow under his head.

I haven't been home the past week to know how Duke is doing since my dad died. I know Duke's been upset but it's really hard to know if Duke understands. When my dad would go to work he'd be gone for months at a time (he was a construction worker and so he would sometimes go to MN or WI to work). My mom thinks my dog knows, but I don't know. Animals can be really tuned to human emotion and stuff. But I still don't know. My cats lost weight.

So we are more worried that if we leave Duke will think we're never coming back too.

He's really a good dog. He's half Shar Pei and half Beagle. He's kind of stubborn but he's trained and knows basic commands and a few tricks. And he's not very active, like he doesn't have to go for daily walks or anything. He loves to be outside though. There's a park at the community college here and we made friends with the keeper (plus I'm friends with a couple cops) so we take Duke to the park and just let him run loose. He just does his own thing. Doesn't even pay any attention to other dogs if they are there. He loves people though. We used to take him to the nursing home my grandma was at until she died. He loved getting all the attention (and treats).

So I talked to my mom and she is still interested in going to Disneyland. But we just need to work out what will happen with the dog. I am perfectly fine going by myself and all that.

Since my dad died my mom is working on "cleaning" up around the house. My dad kept everything so she's going through and trying to see what we need to keep and what needs to go. (It kind of makes sense, because if I decided to move, she will more than likely come with me, so we'd have to do it sometime or another because all the stuff in this house will not fit into a 2 bedroom apartment with no attic or basement storage!) And she's trying to get some home repairs done (which there are a lot of).

I'm going to work on trying to plan whatever left there is of planning to the Disneyland trip and book sometime between now and September. Plus I'm going to look for a new car. I don't plan on getting anything until Estelle (that's my car's name) breaks. I'm not going to put anymore money into her. She's old. She's going to need new front brakes soon, she needs new rear struts (I don't know about the front, I haven't had anyone look at it), she has a bad rear sway bar, no parking brake, warped heads, she uses up coolant, and somethings bent in the front end that makes her pull to the right, regardless how often she gets aligned. My ex also crashed into her years ago, so she's rusting pretty bad (that's what I get for letting my dad tell me not to have my ex fix it) and someone recently hit the front passenger door and now it won't open (I noticed it when I had my car towed last month). I will say that I'm glad, even though all this stuff is wrong with her, that I only lost $1000 in value from what I paid!

I love my car. She's been such a good car until recently. But I guess that's how cars go.

I just don't know what I really want in a car except that I want to love how it drives. I know there are features that I love, like keyless start, heated seats... actually I think that's it.


Sorry for rambling. I'm really bored!

And girls, thank you so much for your support! I really appreciate it!

 

[monkey30]

We were worried about boarding our dogs before as well, but we did it and guess what, they were fine! Just check out a few places, get tours that kind of thing. Make yourself at ease with it before you leave him. Maybe you can do a few over nighters so he knows you are coming back. Its like with a kid!

Cars are fun, I just got a new truck last year and LOVE it!

If you go on the trip what days are you looking at? Who knows maybe you can hang out with my wacky family, or just me! My 2 oldest and DH are doing a ballgame the first night, so mom and I are left to do whatever, so I can go to the park with C and tour! It should be fun.

 

[BeckWhy]

We were worried about boarding our dogs before as well, but we did it and guess what, they were fine! Just check out a few places, get tours that kind of thing. Make yourself at ease with it before you leave him. Maybe you can do a few over nighters so he knows you are coming back. Its like with a kid!

Cars are fun, I just got a new truck last year and LOVE it!

If you go on the trip what days are you looking at? Who knows maybe you can hang out with my wacky family, or just me! My 2 oldest and DH are doing a ballgame the first night, so mom and I are left to do whatever, so I can go to the park with C and tour! It should be fun.

It's looking like September 26 - October 2.

 

[monkey30]

It's looking like September 26 - October 2.

The exact same days as us!!!

 

[BeckWhy]

The exact same days as us!!!

I know! I'm stalking you! Just kidding!

September 26th is actually my mom's birthday.

 

[BeckWhy]

So here's what I've figured out about cars (well I'm a car girl, but these are the ones I like, all used of course):

Nissan Altima 3.5- has great features, great power, and it looks like it doesn't have high depreciation
Chrysler 300C - this is really my favorite, but it's got a high price tag and a big V8; my friend just bought one and he's getting 17 mpg around town, so it's not too bad
Hyundai Sonata 2.0t - again great features, but just released with the new body style, not sure I can afford it
Pontiac G6 GXP - this is actually the car I loved driving, I spent years telling myself I didn't love it because it isn't very attractive, but in the end, it's been my favorite to drive

I found out you can get heated seats without getting leather, so I have to decide now if I want leather or not. I've always wanted leather, but I have my dog who rides in my car a lot, and he has way long nails and I don't know how well he'll mix with the leather.

I also really like the new Audis, but I doubt I could afford one. I currently drive a Chevy, and she's been good to me so part of me wants to stick with Chevy, but the Malibu doesn't have the power I want, and the Impala SS (which does deliver the power) gets the worse fuel ratings of all the cars. I've done some research on BMWs and they seem to offer a lot, but again expensive. The Ford Taurus looks decent but my biggest draw to that is the giant 21 cu ft trunk (same with the Mercury Sable). None of these cars have I driven.

I've also been recently introduced to the Chrysler 200/Dodge Avenger. This car with the 3.6l engine offers amazing punch, and you can get one a year old for about $16,000. I'm not sure what that means though, they are new-ish cars so I don't know what reliability will be like. And if they are depreciating 35% after the first year... EEK! This is also a car I haven't driven.

I've kind of come to the conclusion I'll end up getting a Nissan Altima. I liked the car a lot, but the features are amazing! But they can be kind of price-y (I don't know how to spell it). I'm kind of upset because there are two in the south (2011 with 12k and a 2010 with 18k) that the owners are asking considerably under blue book. Clear titles and all!

My biggest debate with the Altima is do I go with a coupe or a sedan. I've driven both, and I love the looks of the coupe, but the sedan is bigger and has double the trunk size.

Oh well, I guess we'll wait and see where this goes!

 

[kaoden39]

I know that the Dodge 3.6L is a good engine. It goes and goes.

 

[BeckWhy]

I know that the Dodge 3.6L is a good engine. It goes and goes.

I'm not too worried about engines. I've been around enough to know good ones and bad ones (*cough Daimler-Chrysler 2.7L). I'm more worried about everything else: suspension, exhaust, drivetrain...

HAHAH So my neighbor crashed into my car and my dad talked to him. The guy agreed to fix my car (he's a body and paint man). I was like if it was turned into insurance I would have got $2500 for it and could have used that towards a new car! And my mechanic would have replaced the light for under $100 (I would have had to get a headlamp, but that would have been like $30).

So I had found a car I liked, it was a Chrysler. And my dad had a cow because these people who live down the street from us have a Dodge Stratus and the front end is all messed up and can't even be fixed. Of course I asked my dad what happened to the front end, he doesn't know he didn't ask. So I looked at their Stratus, they hit something. I'd say an enbankment but there was no dirt or grass.

Anyways, I don't know why I was telling that story. I forgot.

When I was dog/housesitting I watch a woman crash her couple year old Fusion into the basketball hoop pole! She new it was there because she parked her front door right next to it! Then tried to back up and turned and hit it!

It makes me so paranoid seeing people crash their new cars.

 

[BeckWhy]

OK! So some Disneyland stuff!!!

I don't know why, maybe I'm expecting some magical discount to pop up but I randomly check the price of the hotel (Best Western Park Place Inn). A couple weeks ago (before my dad died) I checked and they said they were sold out of rooms. Went back a few days later and had rooms available. Today I checked and it says they are sold out again.

I don't know where I'll stay if the BW is sold out. I mean, I know that not booking hurts me and I risk the hotel selling out, but now I just don't know where to stay! The BW offered the best of all I wanted (across the street, breakfast, cheapest... yes it was the cheapest).

 

[BeckWhy]

Does anyone have a planning checklist that they are willing to give to me? I'm getting close to the 90 day mark and I really need to breakdown and start getting things actually planned and booked.