Online Dating

[Buzz Rules]

Not giving up but I would be lying if I said that it is not discouraging.

The best things in life are the hardest to find but the most worthwhile to continue to strive for.

 

[frog3101]

I know nothing about online dating, but have you looked into meetup? (Sorry if this has been discussed) but from what I’ve researched it’s a way to meet all sorts of people who have similar interests as you in a group setting. I don’t think it’s meant to necessarily lead to romance from there, but it can’t hurt to meet new people who share common interests and see what happens. You could make a friend or two and possibly more.
Disclaimer: I have never actually used meetup, but have pursued it looking for groups in my area to join. So, it may be a scam or it may be full of not so great people looking to do not great things…maybe someone on here has experience on the site that could add helpful information? Either way, I’ve been following the thread and am rooting for you Christa.

 

[Scouter]

Not giving up but I would be lying if I said that it is not discouraging.

Life is discouraging, at least for me....... that's why we have DISNEY!

 

[disneychrista]

Life is discouraging, at least for me....... that's why we have DISNEY!

Amen! I always thought I was single, couldn’t find a partner, because I wasn’t putting any effort into. Now despite the effort there is still no success. I’m beginning to wonder if it just me and my destiny is to be single.

 

[BrianL]

Life is discouraging, at least for me....... that's why we have DISNEY!

I hear that!

Amen! I always thought I was single, couldn’t find a partner, because I wasn’t putting any effort into. Now despite the effort their is still no success. I’m beginning to wonder if it just me and my destiny is to be single.

Yeah, I made peace with it really. I mean, it's so difficult to try and date and never seems to amount to anything. For someone like me, the stress of trying is so great that it's pretty much not worth it. I know a lot of people don't get that, but it's how I feel, at least right now.

 

[disneychrista]

I hear that!



Yeah, I made peace with it really. I mean, it's so difficult to try and date and never seems to amount to anything. For someone like me, the stress of trying is so great that it's pretty much not worth it. I know a lot of people don't get that, but it's how I feel, at least right now.

I completely understand. I know for myself I had to give it an effort before I just gave up completely. I just don’t see it happening.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

my destiny is to be single.

I know a lot of people don't get that, but it's how I feel, at least right now.

FWIW I think there's a difference if you are okay with being single versus feeling like society expects you to be in a relationship. That doesn't mean you aren't allowed to yearn for a relationship, want one, etc but that it's okay to feel like you don't have to be in one just to appease what society say you should/have to do.

I think sometimes my mom sought out dating just because she felt like if she didn't people would wonder why she was single. I'm not sure if my mom will ever get married again (it's been quite a while since she's even been in a relationship even though she's still on dating apps/websites) but I would rather she be in a relationship or get married again because that's what she wants not because she's not wanting people to judge her for not.

 

[fla4fun]

Amen! I always thought I was single, couldn’t find a partner, because I wasn’t putting any effort into. Now despite the effort their is still no success. I’m beginning to wonder if it just me and my destiny is to be single.

I have had those thoughts some days too. I think part of the problem these days is that there are too many ways to meet people. No person is perfect, but because there is so little effort involved when it comes to swiping right or left, many of the people on the dating sites have this idea that there is someone better waiting for them than the person in front of them, even if the person in front of them could be the love of their life.

I am not suggesting anyone needs to settle, and obviously if there is zero attraction or a red flag pops up, no need to go forward. But I think if there is at least some attraction and interest, people should consider going out for three dates instead of one and see if the relationship grows or fizzles. I would not be surprised if most of the people, halfway through the date, are thinking “He/she is nice, attractive, and we have a lot in common, but I had three other matches and I think I can do better.” instead of “He/she is nice, attractive, and we have a lot in common. I would like to see where this goes.”. I know I would need a few dates before I would know whether a real relationship was forming. People are so quick to write people off that they risk losing the chance to find real love.

Don’t give up! As they say, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince.

 

[La Tomate]

People are so quick to write people off that they risk losing the chance to find real love.

It's this. Absolutely this. It's the whole disposable nature to dating nowadays. There's no substance (I found) because there was always something shinier to distract the person you were talking to.
I get that not everyone is compatible, but you know when you've been ghosted because of "reasons" ... and that happened in about 75% of the encounters I had. Y'know? you know, when you know

 

[AndreaDM]

One of my good friends met her husband in line at RnR. She had been through a divorce and was there with her mom and her 3 boys. Her mom starts chatting up this single dad in line in front of them who had his son with him. Long story short, they spent the day riding rides together and exchanged numbers, now they're married and she's now the mother of 4 boys!

 

[disneychrista]

FWIW I think there's a difference if you are okay with being single versus feeling like society expects you to be in a relationship. That doesn't mean you aren't allowed to yearn for a relationship, want one, etc but that it's okay to feel like you don't have to be in one just to appease what society say you should/have to do.

I’ve never worried what others thought about me being single. Well I guess until now. When you are meeting people to date and your dating history becomes a topic and you don’t really have one I do wonder if it is “red flag” for the other person that something must be wrong with me.
I’m okay with being single. I’ve don’t it my whole life for the most part. I just would like to have someone to do things with. Someone to share my life and my love with. I am just beginning to think that it’s just not gonna happen.

Don’t give up! As they say, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince.

I’m not completely giving up but also not sure just how much more effort I can give it right now. I might just need a break. When you are fishing in a shallow pond with not many fish it’s hard to catch something.

 

[La Tomate]

When you are fishing in a shallow pond with not many fish it’s hard to catch something.

***Catch something DECENT!!!

 

[Scouter]

Amen! I always thought I was single, couldn’t find a partner, because I wasn’t putting any effort into. Now despite the effort there is still no success. I’m beginning to wonder if it just me and my destiny is to be single.

There are a lot of great things about being single though! Many of my married friends are jealous of me. And my cat is a very agreeable and quiet partner.
That's why I'm looking but not expecting anything. Not sure how much I care either way.

 

[disneychrista]

There are a lot of great things about being single though! Many of my married friends are jealous of me. And my cat is a very agreeable and quiet partner.
That's why I'm looking but not expecting anything. Not sure how much I care either way.

For most of my life, I didn't really even consider dating. I am not even sure if after being single for so long that I will be able to share my life with someone. I am so used to doing what I want, when I want and how I want having to consider someone else will be a very new concept for me.

***Catch something DECENT!!!

Yes. I am not interested in just anyone. I am am interested in finding someone I WANT to spend my life with. That means I have skipped over guys that I just didn't think would be a good match.

 

[BrianL]

There are a lot of great things about being single though! Many of my married friends are jealous of me. And my cat is a very agreeable and quiet partner.
That's why I'm looking but not expecting anything. Not sure how much I care either way.

Us single folks - gotta have a cat, right?

 

[La Tomate]

Yes. I am not interested in just anyone. I am am interested in finding someone I WANT to spend my life with. That means I have skipped over guys that I just didn't think would be a good match.

Absolutely - I was/am exactly the same. I'm too old for fannying about. I know what I want, I know what are dealbreakers to me. I started a list of non-negotiables. I mean, aside from height/age/location.... Y'know - the biggies like "No duct tape holding their shoes together" ... "clean fingernails" ... "Doesn't put "sarcasm" as a language or "school of hard knocks" as Education" ... "don't be addicted to percocets and whiskey" .... "No tinfoilhats"
Oh, yes. It's a SHALLOW shallow pool out there.

 

[Buzz Rules]

I’m curious if political differences has ever stoped someone from continuing to date someone? I’m not talking about someone trying to force political views on another but just if someone mentioned to you that they leaned politically opposite of your views would it mean the end of the relationship? I ask because I know several friends who’s significant others don’t align perfectly with their partner’s politics and have really happy relationships.

 

[Scouter]

Us single folks - gotta have a cat, right?

LOL! I agree!
But all the single guys I see online on both sites I go to are all in to dogs.
One even specifically said "no cat women" Glad he said it up front. I woul dn't want him either nor would my cat.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I’ve never worried what others thought about me being single. Well I guess until now. When you are meeting people to date and your dating history becomes a topic and you don’t really have one I do wonder if it is “red flag” for the other person that something must be wrong with me.

Unless your 2 kids were born from immaculate conception or some type of fertility treatment you must have some kind of dating history.

 

[Scouter]

Absolutely - I was/am exactly the same. I'm too old for fannying about. I know what I want, I know what are dealbreakers to me. I started a list of non-negotiables. I mean, aside from height/age/location.... Y'know - the biggies like "No duct tape holding their shoes together" ... "clean fingernails" ... "Doesn't put "sarcasm" as a language or "school of hard knocks" as Education" ... "don't be addicted to percocets and whiskey" .... "No tinfoilhats"
Oh, yes. It's a SHALLOW shallow pool out there.

Yeah, I've gotten pickier too, but then you get older and you know what you want and what you don't and some things are just not negotiable. I'm fine with staying single