Online Dating

[Kittyblue]

I'm so glad it went well - I'm excited to hear about the next date!

 

[tasha99]

OK, if you all know guys who are trying to date on those sites, give them some advice.

Their main profile photo should be of them, not their dog, kids or a semi-automatic rife (no lie) or deer or fish they've killed.
Most women really don't care about hunting and fishing, some do, but I feel like guys who show and tell all about that aren't looking for a date but a sportsman buddy.
My own preference, but shared by other women I know...... facial hair, yuck...... and if you do have it at least keep it trimmed and not all straggly.
I don't find any men showing off their chests attractive, whether or not it's a good look. Just don't. Especially, if you are over 40 let's say? The ones over 50 and 60, (my age range) are just awful.
Don't take photos of yourself in bathroom mirrors, there are other nice places you can do that and the worst are with toilets in the background.
Make sure you photos are at least within the past year. If your age says 56 and you upload a picture from your teen years, I think you don't want me to know what you look like now......

I could say so much more.

ROFL!

I tried doing match.com, and you are soooo right! Why, why, why are there so many photos of hairy men in wife-beater tshirts proudly holding a fish they caught? That doesn’t really say “romantic and intelligent” to me…

And all the 60 something men looking for 30 year old women. Poor old delusional fools. Lol!

I had a picture of me with a king salmon I'd caught, and I'm a woman. Just because fishing isn't appealing to you, doesn't mean all women think that. I mean, be yourself and be honest, and you're more likely to find the match that's right for you rather than a match that is somewhere in the middle and a big compromise. Women who are opposed to either going on fishing trips or their guy being gone for fishing can move on. It's information, but not bad.

 

[Rick195275]

So happy you had a great first date! Because the general idea of your thread was online dating advice from people who have been there and hopefully not taken the wrong way... just want to say try not to get ahead of yourself if that makes sense? Like I said earlier in the thread I’ve done my share of online dating, and some people are good at presenting themselves as what they think we want, especially early on and mostly through a screen. Don’t at all want to be a downer! Just wouldn’t want to see you get crushed just getting yourself back out there! The PPs post about being honest and yourself made me think about my experiences where people have not been lol. Hopefully no need for the cautionary tale, and you’ve met the one

 

[Scouter]

So I've got to ask... what's he think about Disney?

Great question!

 

[Scouter]

I had a picture of me with a king salmon I'd caught, and I'm a woman. Just because fishing isn't appealing to you, doesn't mean all women think that. I mean, be yourself and be honest, and you're more likely to find the match that's right for you rather than a match that is somewhere in the middle and a big compromise. Women who are opposed to either going on fishing trips or their guy being gone for fishing can move on. It's information, but not bad.

Good point. I loved the pics of one guy at something that looked like Disney, and at some gaming meet, but didn't like the guy himself, but I guess there must be some other types than just outdoorsy guys out there.

 

[disneychrista]

So happy you had a great first date! Because the general idea of your thread was online dating advice from people who have been there and hopefully not taken the wrong way... just want to say try not to get ahead of yourself if that makes sense? Like I said earlier in the thread I’ve done my share of online dating, and some people are good at presenting themselves as what they think we want, especially early on and mostly through a screen. Don’t at all want to be a downer! Just wouldn’t want to see you get crushed just getting yourself back out there! The PPs post about being honest and yourself made me think about my experiences where people have not been lol. Hopefully no need for the cautionary tale, and you’ve met the one

Great advice. I did find myself getting a little ahead of myself and had to remind myself to slow down, take things one step at a time.

 

[ronandannette]

Great advice. I did find myself getting a little ahead of myself and had to remind myself to slow down, take things one step at a time.

This might sound jarring but I think the best way to prevent this is to find another person or two that interest you and set up meetings with them also. And kindly put, don't expect the men not to be doing the same thing.

 

[Scouter]

I have a different sense of humor but I would say to dates I was going out to meet " You're not a serial killer and you're going to kill me, are you?"
One guy said "No! I don't even like cereal!" I thought that was hysterical!

 

[Buzz Rules]

This might sound jarring but I think the best way to prevent this is to find another person or two that interest you and set up meetings with them also. And kindly put, don't expect the men not to be doing the same thing.

Isn’t this called by generation z “non-exclusive”? Never understood that mentality. Most men don’t think that way. At least the men I know.

 

[ronandannette]

Isn’t this called by generation z “non-exclusive”? Never understood that mentality. Most men don’t think that way. At least the men I know.

Even after just one date? That's the stage we're at here.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Isn’t this called by generation z “non-exclusive”? Never understood that mentality. Most men don’t think that way. At least the men I know.

non-exclusive has been around for ages. When you're just starting dating it's not entirely uncommon for exclusivity to not be there. I mean you just met the person. Doesn't mean someone is out on a million dates just dating a ton of people but they may not be the only person you have a date set up with or you are the only person they have a date set up with.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Glad you had a good first date, hope that continues

 

[EACarlson]

Photos of their dog or of them with their kids is okay. If they are into hunting, fishing, rifiles maybe they should post photos of them. It will make me skip them but that they should be them. Better to find out from the start that they have something you aren't interested in than to invest time & effort only to discover they have hobbies you don't agree with.

That was my theory in 2008 when I signed up for Match.com. I remember they had a deal for $99 for six months, and if you didn't have a serious relationship after six months they'd give you another six months. I put in my profile three things that might turn people off of me. My now wife thought it was cool that I led with that and messaged me three days into my membership. We met a week later, got engaged 7 weeks after that and have been married for 11 years now. Her first trip to WDW was our honeymoon in 2009 (that's where my profile pic is from), in 2019 we went back with our two sons for our 10th anniversary.

 

[Mysterian]

Did you feel “fireworks” when you kissed?

Yes....fireworks? Or DISNEY fireworks?

 

[Buzz Rules]

Yes....fireworks? Or DISNEY fireworks?

I feel like this will be a question on the Celebrity Dating Game tomorrow (ABC 10pm).

 

[Skywalker]

Even after just one date? That's the stage we're at here.

I agree after one date its a huge assumption that the relationship is exclusive! My friend who met her boyfriend on Plenty of Fish was excited to tell me they just had the conversation about being "exclusive" and this was after a couple months of getting to know each other.

It doesn't seem special if everyone you grab a coffee with is treated instantaneously as "the one" lol.

 

[ronandannette]

I agree after one date its a huge assumption that the relationship is exclusive! My friend who met her boyfriend on Plenty of Fish was excited to tell me they just had the conversation about being "exclusive" and this was after a couple months of getting to know each other.

It doesn't seem special if everyone you grab a coffee with is treated instantaneously as "the one" lol.

Well, some people (both men and women) have a "love the one you're with" mindset right from the onset and personally, I don't think it's very wise. There are anecdotes, even here on this thread, about love at first "virtual" sight and I'm sure it does happen but it's far from the norm. I've watched people I care about waste a lot of time and emotion trying to hammer square pegs into round holes relationship-wise simply because the other person showed interest initially and it's really sort of sad.

 

[Buzz Rules]

I agree after one date its a huge assumption that the relationship is exclusive! My friend who met her boyfriend on Plenty of Fish was excited to tell me they just had the conversation about being "exclusive" and this was after a couple months of getting to know each other.

It doesn't seem special if everyone you grab a coffee with is treated instantaneously as "the one" lol.

I didn’t mean that the guy would be the one necessarily. I just meant that if you go on several dates with a person and like them, why immediately go looking at other people at the same time? If you tell the other person that you maybe looking at other potential people and their okay with it that’s one thing. But if you are doing that behind their back, I would consider that cheating. Relationships are about trust and honesty, especially in the beginning when just starting to get to know a person. This is just my belief. I know others may have other opinions and I respect that. I know she is just starting to make a connection with the guy as she has said. All I mean by this is that if you are not honest about how you want the potential relationship to develop, are you being truthful in the relationship?

 

[Scouter]

That was my theory in 2008 when I signed up for Match.com. I remember they had a deal for $99 for six months, and if you didn't have a serious relationship after six months they'd give you another six months. I put in my profile three things that might turn people off of me. My now wife thought it was cool that I led with that and messaged me three days into my membership. We met a week later, got engaged 7 weeks after that and have been married for 11 years now. Her first trip to WDW was our honeymoon in 2009 (that's where my profile pic is from), in 2019 we went back with our two sons for our 10th anniversary.

That's awesome!

 

[ronandannette]

I didn’t mean that the guy would be the one necessarily. I just meant that if you go on several dates with a person and like them, why immediately go looking at other people at the same time? If you tell the other person that you maybe looking at other potential people and their okay with it that’s one thing. But if you are doing that behind their back, I would consider that cheating. Relationships are about trust and honesty, especially in the beginning when just starting to get to know a person. This is just my belief. I know others may have other opinions and I respect that. I know she is just starting to make a connection with the guy as she has said. All I mean by this is that if you are not honest about how you want the potential relationship to develop, are you being truthful in the relationship?

Back in the stone ages when I was dating, it wouldn't even occur to me that a guy wouldn't be "keeping his options open" after just a few dates and I wouldn't have wanted to be held to it myself. I never would have considered him not saying so to be dishonest and as for the cheating part?!? Way, waaaaaaay too soon to owe anybody anything.