Online Dating

[disneychrista]

Did you feel “fireworks” when you kissed?

No, I wouldn't say fireworks per se but it was sweet and could have the potential for fireworks.

This might sound jarring but I think the best way to prevent this is to find another person or two that interest you and set up meetings with them also. And kindly put, don't expect the men not to be doing the same thing.

I don't disagree with this. And honestly that was my intention going into this. There really hasn't been anyone who has really peeked my interest. I sent a message to a guy who had "liked" me but I haven't heard back.

Even after just one date? That's the stage we're at here.

Only one date in person yes. But 5 days of chatting for hours in the evening & getting to know each other. It feels like there have been more than one date.

I didn’t mean that the guy would be the one necessarily. I just meant that if you go on several dates with a person and like them, why immediately go looking at other people at the same time?....All I mean by this is that if you are not honest about how you want the potential relationship to develop, are you being truthful in the relationship?

I agree. I do only have very limited dating experience and they have all been "exclusive" from the beginning. I really don't think I would do well dating multiple people at one time if they are all like this has been so far.


I am keeping my options open and will see how the coming week goes. He has his kids this week, so it will kind of be a true test of how things will be for us.

 

[ronandannette]

...I am keeping my options open and will see how the coming week goes. He has his kids this week, so it will kind of be a true test of how things will be for us.

Are you able to elaborate on what your expectations are in this regard?

 

[disneychrista]

Are you able to elaborate on what your expectations are in this regard?

Basically how much contact he maintains during his week with his kids. His kids are and should be his priority, so I don't expect to be chatting for hours every evening. But does he still text to wish me good morning, good evening, ask how my day was etc. Or does he cut off all contact for the week and only start texting again when his kids are back at their moms. To me that would indicate that he is only looking for someone to fill his "lonely days" and not for someone to share his life with - the good, the bad, the happy, the sad and everything in between.

 

[low-key]

Congrats Christa, be patient with him, us guys are weird, but you either connect with someone or you dont, and you two did

 

[Rick195275]

Basically how much contact he maintains during his week with his kids. His kids are and should be his priority, so I don't expect to be chatting for hours every evening. But does he still text to wish me good morning, good evening, ask how my day was etc. Or does he cut off all contact for the week and only start texting again when his kids are back at their moms. To me that would indicate that he is only looking for someone to fill his "lonely days" and not for someone to share his life with - the good, the bad, the happy, the sad and everything in between.

From the perspective of a single dad it sounds like you have realistic expectations. His kids should be his priority during his time with them. With that said it’s not wrong for you to want a good morning, how was your day and some chatting after they go to bed. Some days can definitely be a crazier than others as life tends to be but those aren’t unreasonable or unrealistic expectations if someone is genuinely interested.

 

[Rick195275]

Congrats Christa, be patient with him, us guys are weird, but you either connect with someone or you dont, and you two did

Weird and we aren’t always the brightest

 

[low-key]

Weird and we aren’t always the brightest

amen brother, lol

 

[disneychrista]

Congrats Christa, be patient with him, us guys are weird, but you either connect with someone or you dont, and you two did

Thanks Jason. You know my dating history hasn't be all that great and it took a long time for me to be ready to try again. I am trying to be realistic with things. His free time and our distance will make things a challenge. But if things are meant to work out we will figure it out.

 

[disneychrista]

Things with guy1 aren't going great. We texted a couple times while he had his kids but I haven't heard from him since Friday. I sent a text on Sunday and I haven't gotten a response. I am disappointed because I thought we had a great connection. I should have known that I wouldn't find someone that easily, I am just not that lucky.


But....I have a lunch date on Friday with a new guy. We are meeting a brewery that I have been wanting to try. I have also been messaging with a third guy.


10 days left in my 30 days of give it a try.

 

[Rick195275]

Things with guy1 aren't going great. We texted a couple times while he had his kids but I haven't heard from him since Friday. I sent a text on Sunday and I haven't gotten a response. I am disappointed because I thought we had a great connection. I should have known that I wouldn't find someone that easily, I am just not that lucky.


But....I have a lunch date on Friday with a new guy. We are meeting a brewery that I have been wanting to try. I have also been messaging with a third guy.


10 days left in my 30 days of give it a try.

His loss! Good luck with guy 2! Don’t give up so easy

 

[ronandannette]

Things with guy1 aren't going great. We texted a couple times while he had his kids but I haven't heard from him since Friday. I sent a text on Sunday and I haven't gotten a response. I am disappointed because I thought we had a great connection. I should have known that I wouldn't find someone that easily, I am just not that lucky.


But....I have a lunch date on Friday with a new guy. We are meeting a brewery that I have been wanting to try. I have also been messaging with a third guy.


10 days left in my 30 days of give it a try.

Don't necessarily count him out and don't dismiss him out of hand if he contacts you at some point in the future. It really was way, way too early to expect anything steady.

 

[disneychrista]

Don't necessarily count him out and don't dismiss him out of hand if he contacts you at some point in the future. It really was way, way too early to expect anything steady.

I'm not blocking him or anything. Just moving on, seeing what else might be out there. It may have been too soon to be "steady" but that connection was real, at least to me. Plus he said things that lead me to believe it was on his end too.

The ball is in his court. I am just not waiting around for him to decide to play.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Basically how much contact he maintains during his week with his kids. His kids are and should be his priority, so I don't expect to be chatting for hours every evening. But does he still text to wish me good morning, good evening, ask how my day was etc. Or does he cut off all contact for the week and only start texting again when his kids are back at their moms. To me that would indicate that he is only looking for someone to fill his "lonely days" and not for someone to share his life with - the good, the bad, the happy, the sad and everything in between.

This is a really intelligent way to gauge expectations for people that are that way. Although, it's possible a child brought with them an all consuming catastrophe, could even be dealing with the ex being a black hole and he doesn't want to spread the negative to a fresh new distraction just yet. It's tough to be honest where children are concerned if he doesn't know what you'd do with that information. Lots of people are in the, "If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all" camp where family is concerned.

 

[disneychrista]

he doesn't want to spread the negative to a fresh new distraction just yet.

I deserve way more than be anyone’s “distraction.” Been there, done that, not going back for a second trip.

 

[Scouter]

Things with guy1 aren't going great. We texted a couple times while he had his kids but I haven't heard from him since Friday. I sent a text on Sunday and I haven't gotten a response. I am disappointed because I thought we had a great connection. I should have known that I wouldn't find someone that easily, I am just not that lucky.


But....I have a lunch date on Friday with a new guy. We are meeting a brewery that I have been wanting to try. I have also been messaging with a third guy.


10 days left in my 30 days of give it a try.

Well, move on then!

Maybe you should (we all should!) try these new cup condoms so no one slips anything in your drink

 

[handinpocket]

Honestly, I can understand him not wanting to be bothered on Father's Day weekend. You are someone he casually met on an internet dating site. He might not even want his kids knowing he is "talking" to someone, and that is a smart decision.

 

[disneychrista]

Honestly, I can understand him not wanting to be bothered on Father's Day weekend. You are someone he casually met on an internet dating site. He might not even want his kids knowing he is "talking" to someone, and that is a smart decision.

I agree it was/is too soon to involve his teenager children. I never expected that.

 

[lifesavacation]

I honestly think you’re expecting too much this early. Try not to set too many expectations—at least until you have a few dates with the person. Keep it casual and don’t come on too strong.

Good luck with your date on Friday. My sister was a serial internet dater, but she did eventually end up finding someone.

 

[Buzz Rules]

I agree it was/is too soon to involve his teenager children. I never expected that.

Did he ask you how you would feel on being a stepmom? Just curious if that could be something that gave him a pause. But I do think the Father’s Day weekend idea may just be the reason why he hasn’t got back to you yet.

 

[disneychrista]

Did he ask you how you would feel on being a stepmom? Just curious if that could be something that gave him a pause. But I do think the Father’s Day weekend idea may just be the reason why he hasn’t got back to you yet.

It was way too soon to talk about feelings on being a step mom. I’m off two minds with this. One is to give it a few more day and then send a text “checking in.” And the other is thinking if he was interested he would reach out.

In the mean time I move forward with my date on Friday. If I am honest I am less than enthusiastic about it but will give it & this new guy a fair chance. But my guard is up on getting too close too soon again.