Well... you may be thinking that we're not moving very quickly this morning. And you'd be right. We had a late late night and not a huge amount of sleep. Followed by a very large breakfast and a hot day out.
Except I had a buttload of coffee in me, now, so at least I was talking way fast.
And jittery.
One of my best friends as well as my DH's, named Spot, just HATES to be around me. When I drink too much coffee. He is irritated by my energy. At the best of times. But, more so when I am jacked to the max with caffeine. He claims I bounce. And pounce. Figuratively and literally.
I am Tigger.
And he has no love for Disney. Either.
He prefers hanging with me when I am drinking tequila. Chasing it with oranges sprinkled with cinnamon. Listening to Johnny Cash. And walking the line.
'Course... I don't always walk the line. And neither does he.
Perhaps that's why we're still friends after all these twenty years.
No matter. Just that it's the season to appreciate old friends. And new ones, too.
I was all hopped up on coffee. That Disney morning and I had to make a very important phone call.
Home.
To my beautiful bride. Who had the day off and was heading up North after the kids' Cross Country meet. I had to talk to him about the meet.
Which brings me to a little correction. Here. And a confession.
When our flight landed in Disney I had told a very sleepy and confusselled Tommy that the rest of the happyhaunts were already UP NORTH. When he asked where they were. And at the time I believed it. Too. I was, obviously, completely tired and jazzed about OUR trip and confusselled. As Tommy was. We were a tired, distracted, self-absorbed lot.
I shouldn't have been driving. I'll say it again.
Anyhow... the fact of the matter was that I woke up this next morning STILL thinking that they were up North at our cottage. Already. It was a fleeting thought and I didn't REALLY go back to it until I had had a pot of coffee. Under my belt.
Then I realized: OH CRAP!!!!!
They were still at home. They were leaving TODAY. After the kids' meet. Which Mellyman was going to be at. And I'd have been there too. If I were home. I'd known about it for a long time. And, STILL, I had completely spaced it. Temporarily. Yet I had.
And was a very bad BAD mother. Not Mother of the Year. Canadian Style.
It's moments like these that grind on you. On me, anyhow. How could I have temporarily spaced that??????
I felt bad. Is what I'm saying. And I had to call my husband. And talk to the kids. If I could.
Plus stop by the store on the Boardwalk and buy them something.
To make Me(l) feel better. About the whole thingie.
So I dialed my beautiful bride's cell number while Tommy played in front of the funny sideshow mirrors.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Mellyman has a regular ring on his phone. He's quite conservative. Like that.
Mellyman: Hello.
Me: Oh, thank God! I should have called earlier. Have they run yet?
Mellyman: Calvin has. He did really well. Twenty-fifth. Looked like he was gonna throw up at the finish line.
Me: How many kids ran in his group?
Mellyman: Oh, about a thousand. There's a bunch of schools here.
Me: Oh, THAT'S GREAT!!!! Give him a hug from us. Tell him congrats. I'll call him later.
Mellyman: Sure. He's on the bus back now. Beth is warming up. They're going pretty soon. Are you guys fine? Everything on schedule today?
Me: Of course not. I'll call you later. Probably during your drive. What am I saying? I'll call before that. You HAVE to talk to Beth before her race. Tell her I called. Wish her luck from Tommy and I. OK? Promise?
Mellyman: Ok. Can I talk to Tommy?
Me: Sure. Bye, Mel... and thanks. I'll talk with you soon. (Calling Tommy over)
Tommy: Hi.
(pause)
Tommy: Hi Daddy!!!! We're at Disney!!!!
(pause)
Tommy: Bye Daddy!!!! You too!
I take Tommy's hand and we walked into the store to find some guilt gifts. For me more than Beth and Calvin.
I thought about their meet and slapped myself with my eyes. In the mirror. For spacing it again.
I was pleased at how well Calvin did. Though. It was his very first meet. He has killer competitive instinct. And I was pleased he was so into the Cross Country thing. Because it was also a sport I competed in and loved during school.
His father, not so much. Mellyman was a 400m man. A MUCH harder race. In my opinion. Because it combines both speed and endurance. Perhaps the most difficult track and field event. I never had much luck with it.
I stuck to Cross Country. I was all about endurance. It's usually pretty popular. But in grades 12 and 13 we had this coach who was the toughest, meanest, most intense guy you'd ever have the pleasure of meeting. It was a pleasure. For me. And a few, just a few, other runners. We had the smallest team ever. Those years. A few kids who were jazzed by the challenge of living up to his lofty expectations, didn't need to be coddled or warmly embraced for every little bit of effort... or else had such low self-esteem that his constant ripping into our abilities, or lack thereof, seemed comforting.
I think.
We ran till we puked. And then ran some more. I remember the pain to this day. And the satisfaction too. When he'd look at me and say, "Mel. That was acceptable but if you want to stay on this team you've got to pick it up."
I would then tell him. If I had enough breath to speak. That I thought I had a heart condition and if I picked it up anymore he'd be responsible for my death.
He'd say, "You don't have a heart condition Mel. You're just a wimp."
And I'd pick up the pace. Everytime. I thought he was a great, if unpopular, coach.
I believe Calvin would have liked him too. And thrived.
Beth... maybe not so much.
I was worried about her race. So I bought some Disney candy. Tommy tried on a few Hallowe'en hats. And we headed back up to our room. To organize for the day. And pack our stuff up. To check out.
First, though, I had to pop by the BW store and pick up three re-fillable mugs. Even though we were checking out. And there was only two of us. And we wouldn't be using them. Most likely.
It was principle.
Is what I'm saying.
I REALLY wanted to do it. Just to say. To
someone that I did it.
But... I didn't. I just thought about it.
Laughed to myself. And slapped myself with my foot. Because I had personally amused myself.
Wildly.
Almost as much as wearing my Crimson Tide shirt was amusing me. Personally. And wildly.
Ok.
It's how I get by. Just so you know.
So... we got back to our room and I packed up our Hallowe'en costumes in a separate bag. Because we were going to be at Mickey's Not So Scary Hallowe'en party later in the day. I packed my knapsack. And we left our room wheeling the suitcase. On our way out past the little tiny shop on the main floor of the BW, Tommy spied himself a little stuffed Mickey Mouse. And he REALLY wanted it.
I bought it.
Because I needed points in the bank. With him.
I figured it was just a matter of time until I temporarily spaced his Christmas Pagent or dance recital or something of equal importance in his formative years.
Being Mother of the Year.
Like Britany Spears.
Maybe I could just drive with him on my lap. To the Magic Kingdom. And then drop him to the pavement in the parking lot.
And call it a day.
Then go hang with Paris Hilton.
Cheers, Mel.
To be continued. Up next: MK. Rolling tide. Some bad news from Mellyman re: Beth's race. And the Red and Blue happyhaunt meet Flower's Child!!!!
It takes a special girl, mostly hot, blonde moms to appreciate that little scenario. You go girl. I am I glad they were nice men or you would of had to have Tommy Bama peepee on them to save you. 
Grade 13 in the US would be freshman year of college. Just sayin'.
