On GMA: Mom Hires Stripper for Son's 16th Birthday

[pooh6890]

I think there is a bigger picture here. What gives Walgreens the right to be "moral police"? From what I understand, the parents told all the other parents what they had planned to do. If you didnt want your child attending, then they didn't. While I really think they are guilty of poor judgement and poor taste, they were having a party in their home behind closed doors. So now we can't entertain in our own homes without someone knocking on our door and arresting us? What kind of message is that? They definately went too far (she was naked from what Diane said), but this took place on private property with everyone there knowing what was taking place beforehand. Who are we to judge their actions? Although I think it was disgusting and improper, I am not going to tell those parents what to do in their own home. They are guilty of bad parenting but it's none of my business. Anyone else feel that way? Also, the Walgreens employee should be reprimanded don't you think?

 

[Poohbear123]

I guess she never heard of a "Digital Camera." To think she would have them developed at Walgreens for gosh sakes...... What a ding bat!

 

[poohandwendy]

I think there is a bigger picture here. What givesWalgreens the right to be "moral police"? {snip} Also, the Walgreens employee should be reprimanded don't you think?

Actually, the employee was probably working within the policies of the store and perhaps even the law by reporting the photos. If the kids looked to be minors and there was nudity involved, they have every right to report the pictures to the police. Then the police can decide if a law has been broken. The employee would probably be fired for not reporting suspicious photos.

Would you feel the same way if someone tried to develop child porn at the Walgreens and noone reported it? Imagine the hoopla if there were pornographic photos developed of an abducted/missing child and noone reported it...


Having photos developed does not carry the right to anonymity, especially if something illegal is on the photos.

 

[vettechick99]

When I was 17 my best friend's mom had us all over for a graduation sleepover party (boys and girls) and we camped out in the den and got drunk. The parents made themselves scarce but were happy knowing we weren't out driving and putting lives at risk.

This was 11 years ago...so this is nothing new. I thought it was weird then but was more than happy to take advantage of the situation.

Now hiring a stripper to entertain your kids - nothing against strip clubs or the strippers they exploit - but no way, no how will I endorse or pay for it. When my kids are old enough to have a job and get into one, that's when they can enjoy the marvel of naked ladies dancing.

 

[leahannpen]

kids have plenty of time to "drink" after they turn 21...why start them off so young?

I don't think the parents are really "starting them" at this age. In high school, peer pressure is a pretty strong thing, and many, many of the people I went to high school with drank. There were parties all the time. Most kids will find a way to do it anyway, whether the parents know it, or want to admit it.

 

[HTH]

Ridiculous.

 

[greenyskp]

while I agree with this (in principal)...I will say that these kids are still UNDERAGE. and it is illegal for someone over 21 to provide liquor to someone under 21.

kids have plenty of time to "drink" after they turn 21...why start them off so young?

If your caught drinking under 18... Your parents are dragged into the mess. Believe me. I know...

I went to a few parties where the parents took your keys, provided the alcohol, and stuck around, but wasnt in the way.

Think of it this way...

Your 16 year old is going to go a party, that he lied to you about in the first place (yeah mom, no drinking, and his parents will be there..come on its a Graduation party!) he's going to drink himself stupid, because at 16 your testing your alcohol limits. Some neighbor might call the cops because the party is rowdy, and he'll get arrested and then you'll be held responsible because he's under 18. If the cops dont come...then hes gonna drive home, maybe get a ride home with a drunk friend, to make it home before curfew, and then pull off an oscar worthy performance to convince you he wasnt drinking.

OR

You could tell your kid he can invite 20 of his friends over and you'll supply the alcohol. Fully knowing you wont let the party get out of hand, so the cops will never come, and you getting in trouble for giving kids alcohol is out the window. You have a controled environment and your limiting the intake as well.

its not about starting them off young. Its about realizing that if your kid doesnt want to drink, they wont. But if they do, REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU SAY they will find a way to do it.

Hi, im Stephenie, i'm 20. I was taken into custody at 15 for underage drinking, my parents thought I was at girlfriends sleepover. The people I was drinking with's parents thought they were at different places. The cops saw lots of cars and decided to knock on the door, and then they did breathalizers on everyone there. I drank because my boyfriend at the time handed me a drink, and I didnt want him to not like me.

Dont worry.... That was basically my last drink (and my last glimpse of daylight...) And im better off now. Nothing like a horrific experience to make you not want to drink!!!

Underage or not. Accept the fact that kids drink.

Now hiring a stripper to entertain your kids - nothing against strip clubs or the strippers they exploit - but no way, no how will I endorse or pay for it. When my kids are old enough to have a job and get into one, that's when they can enjoy the marvel of naked ladies dancing.

Exactly. Well said... lol!!

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

Completely off the stripper topic, but I don't understand why young adults are allowed ( and encouraged) to join the military at 18 years of age, get deployed and possibly sent to war, but they can't have a beer until they are 21! They're old enough to get killed in the name of their country, but not mature enough to handle a drink. ***???

My dad (retired military) feels the same way. He thinks if you can vote and die for your country at 18 you are perfectly within your rights to throw back a few beers. This is why when I turned 18 he had no problems with me drinking at home. (Reasonably of course, getting drunk isn't allowed. A couple drinks is okay.) Now as for the stripper thing....I personally would never go as far as getting one for my own kid for a birthday...but to each their own. I think it's tacky, and one of those cases of the mom wanting her kid to think she's "cool" and that's pretty sad.

 

[pooh6890]

Absolutely the Walgreen's employee would HAVE to report any child pornography to the authorities. But, that is not what was going on here. I would bet the pictures showed the parents and kids, mind you 16 & 17 year olds, hardly kiddie porn. I would be pretty upset if I took some pictures to Walgreens and some employee posed a moral judgement on my pics. (and we have had some wild parties over the years).

 

[Phrebert]

It's wrong, when I was 16 and wanted to see naked ladies, I had to use high-powered Binoculars.

 

[poohandwendy]

would be pretty upset if I took some pictures to Walgreens and some employee posed a moral judgement on my pics. (and we have had some wild parties over the years).

But they might HAVE to report ANY indecent/nudity acts involving children in the photos (16-17 or not). That isn't a moral judgement, that is protecting their own butts.

 

[greenyskp]

Actually, the employee was probably working within the policies of the store and perhaps even the law by reporting the photos. If the kids looked to be minors and there was nudity involved, they have every right to report the pictures to the police. Then the police can decide if a law has been broken. The employee would probably be fired for not reporting suspicious photos.

Would you feel the same way if someone tried to develop child porn at the Walgreens and noone reported it? Imagine the hoopla if there were pornographic photos developed of an abducted/missing child and noone reported it...


Having photos developed does not carry the right to anonymity, especially if something illegal is on the photos.

Unless the kids were naked, then no one was doing anything illegal. You can walk into a Porn Store, buy porn DVD's mags and toys for your teens. And its not illegal. No cop is going to come into your house and seize your daughters 'toys'. Imagine if cops arrested 15 year old boys for looking at Porn.

What they made the mistake of doing is going to Wal-Greens. They have a No-Nudity policy. Period. You have to go to a discreet developer to do this.

And dont ask me how I know all of this...

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

And dont ask me how I know all of this...

 

[BCgolf11]

Darn it!!!I'm a deprived child. All my mom ever gave me was cake and ice cream but I guess it's better than nothing.

 

[greenyskp]

 

[pooh6890]

We always use Eckerds for our pics.....

 

[tlgoblue]

I would not hire a stripper, as I think it is sending the wrong message to my son about the objectification of women. Women who strip for a living have the right to do so and I don't condemn them, but I would not want my daughter to make her living that way and would not want my son to think that I would find that a good way to make a living. I want my son to worship the women in his life, not see them as his toys. By hiring this woman, I think that was the message she was sending. How would you all feel if the kids hired her on their own w/o moms knowledge/consent? Kind of like sneaking the family Playboys or going to some of those "free" teaser sites on the internet.

I'm not sure I understand the moral outrage going on here. Personally, a stripper would be much tamer than what my kid has access to over the internet. (I'm thinking of re-subscribing to Playboy so my kid has more age appropriate porn to sneak a peek at ) Kids are always going to be curious and will find ways to satisfy their curiosity. In this instance, I think it is a case of an unimagin...nevermind, I'm just going to say it...STOOOOOPID parent. But it is her kid and her house.

I'm not sure what the legal precedence is here. I guess it would be similar to the stoops that serve their kids alcohol to keep them from drinking and driving. Another case of abject stupidity. Sorry to all of you whose parents did that for you. So I guess you only drank under the supervision of an adult? That is irresponsible and is again sending kids the wrong message. Kids are going to find ways to do these things, yes, but it is a parents job to instil a sense of responsibility and adherance to social rules and norms in their kids so they don't go out into the world thinking that there are two sets of rules-one for them and another for everybody else but them . Kids should be afraid of getting caught doing things that we as a society have deemed dangerous to our children. It is the frontline defense. And then the consequences should be consistent.

I guess this is my outrage...too many for too long have decided that rules don't count, and that they are meant to be broken. If rules are bad or outdated, then change them. But if we live as social beings, we need rules. Rules to protect, and to establish expectations of acceptable behavior.
JMHO

 

[Aidensmom]

I would not hire a stripper, as I think it is sending the wrong message to my son about the objectification of women. Women who strip for a living have the right to do so and I don't condemn them, but I would not want my daughter to make her living that way and would not want my son to think that I would find that a good way to make a living. I want my son to worship the women in his life, not see them as his toys. By hiring this woman, I think that was the message she was sending.

My feelings exactly.

 

[SeaSpray]

Haven't been back to my desk all day, surprised to see this on Page 1. lol

Anyway... just wanted to add that the mom said that their 14 year old son and 13 year old daughter were also at the party. Actually...no. She did mention a 13 year old daughter, but not sure if she was at this party or not. But she definitely said the 14 year old son was at the party, too.

Also, this was for a 16th birthday party, so these kids were 15-16, not 16-17 years old. Not that THAT makes too much of a difference.

The sad thing is, as Diane Sawyer was interviewing the 3 of them (teen, mom, and dad), I think the kid himself understood why it is being looked at as something bad, and so did the dad, but the mom just didn't get it.

Another thing; she said that the woman at Walgreen was a "friend", and that she tried to ask her to not report it to the police "in order to not embarrass Walgreens, herself, and myself", but the employee apparently felt she had to report what she saw, to the police. This lady actually thinks that it's embarrassing to Walgreens.

The mother seemed relatively well-spoken, I guess she just doesn't see anything wrong with hiring a woman to dance nude in front of her just-turned-16 year old son, his friends, and her 14 year old son, and whoever else may have been there.

As for everyone's comments on underage drinking: Our DS17 has had his license for several months now. We've told him clearly and repeatedly that he is not to drink. Period. HOWEVER, if he does do something stupid and drinks, then he is to call us and we will come and get him and his car, no matter what time, or where he is. I need to add though, that so far my DS17 has always been where he says he's going, he's always been home BEFORE the time we've told him to be home, and he has been extremely responsible, thus far. By the way, us telling him to call us if he drinks is not a backhanded way of giving him permission to drink; he KNOWS that if this happens he will have consequences to deal with. But ultimately he knows that if he drinks and drives, he can kill himself and others, and that is to be avoided at all costs.

Just curious: How have you talked to your kids about this? Have you told them something similar? Just looking for opinions and ideas. It's hard being a parent, and the older they get, the harder it gets! I don't want a debate on drinking and the age limit, just wondering how other parents are dealing with this, with their teen kids.

 

[tlgoblue]

SeaSpray

Both of my kids have the same understanding as your DS. Underage drinking is not allowed. My kids aren't that old, 12 and 15, but we talk about it all the time. I tell them why it isn't allowed and that it is my job to make sure they grow up whole healthy adults. Drinking at a young age is not just a potentially lethal behavior, it can keep children from becomming healthy adults. My kids don't think of drinking as a grown up priveledge, but rather something that you must be "grown" to do safely.

Not trying to scare you or anything, but I was just like your DS17. Very responsible. Always told mom where I was going and actually be there if she needed to ge a hold of me. Always on time. Still have that almost to a fault. But I still did experiment. I did not drink and drive though. Tried to once and pulled over. Didn't drive with drunk drivers either, that I was aware of. But things are different now. It is way more dangerous. When I was a kid, not every home had at least two cars, and most of us had to borrow the family car. There was a whole lot more to risk in my teenage mind. Wreck dads car, dad can't drive to work, we starve.
But never did I consider my own mortality. That part hasn't changed much about teens. Just keep talking to your kids. Keep asking them about their day, their friends, dreams, desires, fears.

All we can do is keep involved in their lives, no matter how much they resent it. As I tell my kids, it would be nice if you liked me, but it isn't neccessary. It is not my job to be your friend. It is my job to keep you alive, healthy and productive. It is my job to empower you to have many friends of your own. To love you enough to risk you not thinking I'm cool. But in case they wonder, parents are cool!