OMG - That Duggar woman is pregnant again

[_queenie_]

I wonder if they asked the other kids if they wanted more siblings?

Nowadays when most people decide to have children they think about if they can do a good job raising them and being a parent, whether deciding between having that first one or another (I know I did). The Duggars clearly are not, though they are not actually raising their children themselves. It's impossible to be a good parent and to constantly pay attention to 18 children, it's pretty neglectful on their part, I'm sure they can't possibly keep up with the interests and health (puberty especially) of all of these kids. My personal opinion is when having a large family, you have to decide what your limit on givng them the attention the they deserve is and the other thing, household chores, is. I think it's great to have kids help out, but you cannot be dependant on their work, you chose to keep having more (usually ), not your children (even if they give the okay it still means nothing, especially when they're young). You have to weigh the possibilities of somebody being sick, what if for example a few of the Duggar girls got the flu but no one else did (very unlikely but just an example), would the rest of the family eat or get clean clothes for say, a week?

I also almost think that they're little "buddy system" is sad. The older brothers and sisters are almost like parents for their "buddies", as far as I know they don't have much time with their parents (I read something about 20 minutes). I know the Duggars aren't your typical neglectful parents, but in a way they are. It's their decision though, what can you do?

 

[Schmeck]

Someone called them a 'small army' - when I think of 18 offspring, I think of them as a "litter' of children, even though they are not all born at once... or maybe a swarm?

I think the mom will continue to pop out kids until her uterus plops inside out onto the floor. That happened to an aunt of mine who had lots of kids!

 

[SueM in MN]

Based on the daily schedule she has outlined - they don't really get out of the house except as an entire family unit. They're not given time/opportunity to explore relationships with people outside of the family.

The buddy system does have the elder working as a surrogate parent to 1 -2 younger children. The older is responsible for getting the younger ones up, dressed, bathed, fed, schooled (they home school - but the older ones teach their younger "buddies"), to bed, etc. IMO, that's very different than having an elder child help out by watching the baby while you take a shower.

Watching what was on several of their shows, once the 'buddy' has been assigned, the buddy is responsible for all those things. By that time, the mom is pregnant again and then she is taking care of the new baby.

I don't have a problem with anybody having as many children as they want. However, it is not the parents raising these children. It is the older children having to take care of the younger children. And that is the part I have a problem with. If you have children, then YOU AS PARENTS need to take care of them. And if you can't, then you need to stop having them. That is the problem I have with it. They can't be children themselves for having to be the "parents" to the younger kids.

Sandra

TLC paid for a good portion of the things in the new house...including all the interior decorating and stocking the multiple fridges and freezers. However, the family did BUILD most of the house themselves, which I give them credit for. The most disturbing thing I saw this morning on the Today show was the chart they had to schedule 20 minute intervals of alone time with their parents. Personally, I found the family to be like a train wreck: I just can't stop watching, even though I don't necessarily like what I'm seeing.

the chart was really sad.
Imagine a 3 yr old having to schedule time with his mom and dad.

Frankly I'm not surprised. She's said on more than one occasion that they will continue to have children as long as the lord lets them. So until she's menopausal - or something much more tragic happens - MORE babies!

On their special when they had the last baby (?Jennifer?) one of their family "tradgedies" was that she needed to find a new doctor. When she had the baby before the last one, the doctor had told her that she was risking death if she got pregnant again; they even went into the fact that the doctor said her uterus could rupture during the pregnancy because the muscle is so thinned out. it sounded like she was told that many babies ago, not just with the last 2.
They said that they believed that they are supposed to have as many babies as possible and that God would tell them when to stop by not 'sending' any more. My thought was that maybe God is trying to tell them to stop thru the doctors.
I think she's only 36 or 37, so it will be a while until she gets to menopause.

FYI -
On the Road with 16 Children will be on Discovery tonight at 8. I've never acutally watched their show, so maybe I'll give it a try. Also, NO FLAMES PLEASE, but I looked at their website, and at their pictures, and whats up with that moms hair?? Its just..... I don't know.... its time for a makeover!

Did you see the Mother's Day present that the girls picked out for her?
It was an outfit since they said she only had "maternity" and "between pregnancy" clothes. They didn't show it for very long, but it looked like leopard print. Not anything I think the Duggar family has had before.

 

[marypoppinswannabe]

It is my opinion that the size of someone's family is their own business, unless they cannot take care of their own. That is when it bothers me.

I have 4 sisters and 3 brothers. My parents decided to have a big family because my father was in the service and we moved around alot. This way we could take our friends with us.

We never had a lot. As matter of fact, I think we were pretty broke, but I can tell you that we never went hungry. I never had all of the "in" things that everyone else had. But, we went to a private school until I was in junior high.

My parents had very strict religious beliefs and I never realized that we were an "oddity" until I went to a public school and everyone else thought it was odd. However, we all turned out just fine. We are all contributing members of society and pay our taxes just like everyone else.

But, I can tell you this, I would move heaven or earth for any of my siblings. They are still the only people on this earth who make me the maddest, make me cry the hardest, and make me laugh the longest...

So, while the Duggar family may seem strange, this is the only family that any of those children have ever known.

 

[christa112]

LOL!!!!

Let her have all the babies whe wants- just please, cut your hair, just because you have a family from the dark ages doesn't mean you have to dress and look like it.

 

[CastleCreations]

Does anyone in today´s society NEED children? I´m certainly not carrying my 5th child because I needed one more. Haven´t decided yet whether we will have more children but can´t imagine it being because we will need more.

Wow! I see that tomorrow is your due date...Congrats and best wishes with the delivery. I'm envious. I would love another baby! Good luck and enjoy your new little one..

 

[nonzerosum]

I wonder what kind of stroller they would use in WDW? Let's start a Dugger stroller thread.

 

[nessz79]

It is my opinion that the size of someone's family is their own business, unless they cannot take care of their own. That is when it bothers me.

I have 4 sisters and 3 brothers. My parents decided to have a big family because my father was in the service and we moved around alot. This way we could take our friends with us.

We never had a lot. As matter of fact, I think we were pretty broke, but I can tell you that we never went hungry. I never had all of the "in" things that everyone else had. But, we went to a private school until I was in junior high.

My parents had very strict religious beliefs and I never realized that we were an "oddity" until I went to a public school and everyone else thought it was odd. However, we all turned out just fine. We are all contributing members of society and pay our taxes just like everyone else.

But, I can tell you this, I would move heaven or earth for any of my siblings. They are still the only people on this earth who make me the maddest, make me cry the hardest, and make me laugh the longest...

So, while the Duggar family may seem strange, this is the only family that any of those children have ever known.

I agree. To each their own! I only have 2 boys and we're done, but I think they are such a neat family. I don't think those children suffer. It's what they know!

 

[Frankiesmom]

I think it's really strange! And I'm sure they will never be able to take their kids to WDW- and because I came from a large family- well I was the oldest of 6- and I had a lot of responsibilities when it came to the younger ones. My mom never worked and my dad was in the service when I was young; but after the service we still moved approx every 7 years; and my parents only took us camping- I enjoyed it and it was what they could afford; but I always said that I would make sure I coukd take my kids on true vacations and if I had more than 3 I wouldn't be able to afford it.

 

[eeyoregon]

I wonder how BIG their stimulus check is??? Certainly there must be a maximum per family?!

 

[DawnM]

They follow a strict form of homeschooling and church called ATI. It is Bill Gothard's stuff. They don't believe in dating. They believe that when it is time for you to marry that God will bring about the right one.

It is quite a seperative way to live.

Dawn

I know way more than I need to know about the Duggers. There was one of the shows, where they and some other families got together with the older kids(teenagers) and took them roller skating. The girls were all dressed like the Dugger girls, so I am assuming these other kids would be suitable marriage material.

 

[christa112]

Can I just say that everytime I see the name of this post, I laugh. It is so funny!!!! "That Duggar Woman"

 

[newtowdw1]

First, I think the Duggar FAMILY is odd. However, I've had lots of experience with large families, and in only half of them were the parents truly neglectful:

My great-grands had 6, 5 girls, 1 boy who died as a child. All 5 girls went to college, played instruments, and were a small band that played in all the area churches. All of the girls were teachers. My grandma had a wonderful life with a pony cart and everything. She freely admits that since she was the baby, she was extremely spoiled by her older sisters.

My grandmother had 5. She only liked babies. So at about 3 or 4, she handed them off to my dad to take care of, as the oldest. My mother remembers giving my uncle baths after she and my dad were married. She taught one of my aunts to dress herself and do her hair.

Our next door neighbors had 12. Those kids left home so fast you wouldn't believe it. The mother looked wonderful: she took a three hour nap everyday and the neighborhood had to be quiet at that time, or you'd hear it. The two youngest were our age. None of those kids were 'normal.'

Finally, I went to school with a girl who had 7 ( I think) sibs. She was happy enough with it. I thought they did things weird (drawing names for a Christmas present exchange), but they did have a barn, animals and a trampoline!

So, in conclusion, I think it's possible to do a great job raising lots of kids. I think it's very easy to do a terrible job.

I also think the Duggars are exploiting their children. Oh, and read the book, Cheaper by the Dozen by the Gilbraiths. Fascinating view of a family of 14, but I wouldn't want to live that way.

 

[pixiefairy]

I couldn't imagine having 18, but to each their own.

I have 5, and we still have to talk about possibly adding #6 (waiting til after Disney for that! ). My dh is the baby of 9....one of his aunts had 13 and my mom is the eldest girl of 7. I'm used to big families. I spend time with each child - my dh & I both do one on one things with all of them. My eldest is going on 13, and while he is phenominal at minding his siblings....we don't give him responsibility to take care of his brothers & sister.

Those kids just don't seem like they ever had a chance to be kids. To run and play and hang out with friends and be silly. Once a sib comes along, they have to be little adults and that just isn't fair to them.

 

[mommytobug]

I think it's really strange! And I'm sure they will never be able to take their kids to WDW- and because I came from a large family- well I was the oldest of 6- and I had a lot of responsibilities when it came to the younger ones. My mom never worked and my dad was in the service when I was young; but after the service we still moved approx every 7 years; and my parents only took us camping- I enjoyed it and it was what they could afford; but I always said that I would make sure I coukd take my kids on true vacations and if I had more than 3 I wouldn't be able to afford it.

I believe they visited Disney on their road trip. They went to a lot of interesting places on that vacation. It lasted several weeks. They are debt free and were debt free prior to being on TV. They have shared that and I cant remember who it is they went to a class by (not Dave Ramsey but another Christian class) but it is on their website. Or, it used to be.

 

[Tammysue5]

It is my opinion that the size of someone's family is their own business, unless they cannot take care of their own. That is when it bothers me.

I have 4 sisters and 3 brothers. My parents decided to have a big family because my father was in the service and we moved around alot. This way we could take our friends with us.

We never had a lot. As matter of fact, I think we were pretty broke, but I can tell you that we never went hungry. I never had all of the "in" things that everyone else had. But, we went to a private school until I was in junior high.

My parents had very strict religious beliefs and I never realized that we were an "oddity" until I went to a public school and everyone else thought it was odd. However, we all turned out just fine. We are all contributing members of society and pay our taxes just like everyone else.

But, I can tell you this, I would move heaven or earth for any of my siblings. They are still the only people on this earth who make me the maddest, make me cry the hardest, and make me laugh the longest...

So, while the Duggar family may seem strange, this is the only family that any of those children have ever known.

Your right this is the only family they know! No better or worse than any other.


Queenie
I agree... when we had our children we KNEW what we could only comfortably afford... Of course life sometimes throws us a curve ball... after we were done..... I found out I was pregnant! While I have to be honest the first week I cried... but by the second week we knew that this was a wonderful surprise. Our whole family (DS22, DS19, DS17, DD9 DH and I) all feel the DD6 has completed our family... we cannot imagine NOT having her. BUT we knew that we did not want anymore children... felt that FOR US, this was as big as our family was to get. We did want to have special bonds and time for everyone! I can say that while our older ones may have helped here and there.. (they are great kids an do not want to minimize their contributions) they did not/do not miss activities because they have to watch their siblings. DH and I feel that we are the parents and it would not be fair for us to have them and then leave the older ones home to watch the little ones. Our kids love each other and believe it or not,,, they all are VERY close, but I think that has to do with the fact that we allow them to be brothers and sisters not take on the role of parent.

Either way,,, I do wish the Duggers well.....

 

[Russian-in-Kansas]

Oy, she is having another? I saw the show where they were building their house and the mom did not know the difference between parallel and perpendicular, and yet she was homeschooling her kids in all subjects...
In Russia with our demographics crisis, we would love her, but here there is no problem with a dying out population at all, personally I just don't see a reason for so many kids. Does she know them as individuals and is able to enjoy them? I doubt it..I feel kind of bad for them.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I know I'm in for a flaming but I have to say: this family somehow reminds me of the way the women are treated at the polygamy compound that was just in the news. Old fashioned dress, no haircutting, women only good for housework, men running the house/world. This mother is nothing but a vessel for carrying children. She doesn't seem very bright, nor does she seem to have an opinion on anything that isn't given to her by her husband. She seems drugged. Exactly what kind of example is she setting for her daughters? And how is each child supposed to feel special when they have to schedule time (no more than 20 minutes) with mom They even share a common initial "J", which further keeps them from being individuals. Might as well give these poor kids a number instead of another "J" name. A previous poster mentioned, I believe, and I agree: if this mom had to do all the normal, everyday tasks that we all do -- laundry, cleaning, dishwashing, etc. I'm sure she would have stopped way before now. But it's convenient to be irresponsible when you have your own little army of workers bees taking care of everything. Many posters have indicated that they are well behaved (which they seem to be) and that apparently is the best sign of a good parent. You can also make people "behave" through intimidation. And since when is the sign of a good parent being "debt free?" Is that all there is to it? As long as I don't have debt I'm a good parent? I'd rather be dirt poor and happy, than well to do and loveless, which, to me, they seem to be. Getting down off my high horse now and slipping into my flame retardant suit!

 

[Karlzmom]

Yeah I guess I judge them. But I also worry about the actual quality of life that their kids(mostly their girls) have. It's the mom in me that doesn't' want to see these girls repressed and put into a position that they are less of a person than a man. Girls need to learn more than washing, cooking, cleaning and ironing to survive in this world.

I was talking about this with DH earlier. We both were curious how exactly these kids would survive in the regular world with the skills they been taught if they did make the choice to leave this lifestyle.

....couldn't the same be said of any upbringing? How do children fully exercise any and all choices with no context in the upbringing? Even the most liberal-minded parents can only instill the experiences and values they have. For illustrative purposes, how many children raised in Manhattan are prepared to move to Montana and start a farm? Unless a person is making a value judgment that some lives aren't really worth considering, then its just as sad that kids raised by urban, and seemingly sophisticated parents have their opportunities limited. I suspect critics are more lilkely concerned about the particular perceived limitation that the Duggars and other like minded persons place on their children based on their particular manner of upbringing, than that there are limitations in general.

My other thoughts center around that there are still a large number of persons (men and women) in this country that will settle down into "traditional" family arrangements...wife and home with children and hubby working. If the ability to make choices about your life means anything, it means they are just as correct as anyone else. If that is their value system, and so long as they find someone who shares their values, then I believe its not my business that they may chose differently than I would.

 

[eeyoregon]

I would like to touch on something else that has bothered me since watching the episode where she went in search of an OB-GYN that would do a VBAC for her last pregnancy.

After 15 pregnancies, does she not understand the extreme stress that she has put on her body but most importantly her uterus? There are VERY FEW OB-GYN's that will do a VBAC on a 2nd pregnacy let alone the 15th!!!

Why? Because the risk of death to the mother, infant or BOTH is astronomical. Just 1 c-section scar weakens the uterine wall which can in turn lead to rupture of the uterus which is sooooooooooooooooo dangerous!
I used to be an underwriter for a medical malpractice insurance company and we would NOT insure an OB-GYN that performed VBAC'S.

IMHO she is being extremely selfish in electing to have a VBAC. If she dies she is leaving a bunch of kids without a mother.