OMG..My son's roommate just quit college LAST UPDATE P#51

[DISNEY1975]

My son is moving to college tomorrow. He will be a freshman and this is his first time away from home for more than a day.

Ive been in contact with his roommates mother (the boys met at orientation) a few times during the summer. We discussed who would bring what in terms of large items. She agreed on the TV (LCD as that is all that will fit) and microwave and I agreed on the desktop and refridge.

Her son moved into the dorms a two weeks ago because he is on the soccer team. I called the mother Tuesday night to see if there was anything extra she thought I should bring or anything. She didt answer, so I left a message.

As I was packing up the car an hour ago, she called. She said she was sorry she didnt get back to me earlier, but she was going through a rough week. I said "Thats OK. Did you think of anything the boys might need?" She said "Im sorry to have to tell you this, but my son went for soccer practice and 3 days later, called very upset and wanted to come home." Long story short, he wanted to come home for good and he quit.

Im afraid

1) My son will think if he doesnt like it, he can quit (which I already told him was not happening)

2) My son will be all alone, without even 1 friend now....no roomate or anyone to go to the dining hall, gym etc...

Im very upset and have no idea what to do. We leave at 8:00am tomorrow.

 

[kidzmom3]

My DH works at a college and I am positive they will not let a dorm room sit unfilled. They will have someone assigned to the room asap.

 

[EdiePA]

Same thing happened to me my freshman year, my assigned roommate didn't move in because she had mono. The first night, I just walked down the hall and said, "Is anybody hungry?" All of a sudden, I had three new friends to have dinner with. A few weeks later, I moved into a new room with someone in the same situation. We figured we'd rather be with a known roommate rather than someone the University selected for us.

It will work out -- I'd never been very out-going prior to this and that night of walking down the hall and looking for someone to go with me to dinner really was a stepping stone.

He'll be fine!

Edie

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My dd has been at college for 11 days now. It is an adjustment.

Frankly, most kids make other friends and don't hang with the roommate 24/7, so put that fear to rest.

He will make other friends, they will fill the room with someone, and things will be rough but try to upbeat and not worry. I know it is hard as I am doing it.

You can join us on our new college thread if you want to talk.
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2232066

 

[Buckalew11]

That happened with my nephew.

His roommate started having panic attacks week 1 and quit. Nephew was on the soccer team and quit soccer. Had played soccer since he was pre-K and just up and quit. Not sure what happened but it was within the first 2 weeks of going to college. I always wondered about hazing or something? Maybe he just didn't like it? Anyway, after quitting soccer and having no roommate (they did NOT assign him anyone) he called and wanted to transfer to UT.
He ended up transferring after Christmas and absolutely loved UT and went to grad school in Memphis.

Good luck to your son. Is he upset?

 

[bumbershoot]

Oh gracious, I'm completely shy, and I made friends in an instant first couple days of college! Don't worry about him.

As for him learning that he can quit...there will be PLENTY of people who leave, especially in the first semester. This won't be the only time. At my university, they recruit heavily in Hawaii, so there are always tons of people from that state the first year. Many of them leave to go back home and go to college in Hawaii, though, because, go figure, Tacoma is very very different than Hawaii.


My brother got into a very good school along with his then-girlfriend and his best friend. The gf had an Air Force scholarship and had to go early for ROTC stuff. Brother went with her. She, for a reason we will never know (b/c brother and her parents refused to tell), dropped out inside a week of that orientation. She left and went back home. Brother stayed, as did his best friend (they were the "three amigos" before that). I recently found out that the best friend did leave after a year or two, but it wasn't because he'd already seen someone leave...and actually they both got an education at a state school...they aren't destitute b/c of their decisions.

So I wouldn't worry too much.



But back to the TV and microwave...the dorm doesn't have a kitchen or group room???? We had a kitchen with a microwave, and a big ugly TV in the common room. Allows you to make even MORE friends if you have to use the common areas, rather than being holed up in your (smelly, LOL...I lived in a co-ed-by-door hall) room watching your own TV.

 

[minkydog]

I don't think this is an example of helicopter parenting at all. More like "this college stuff is a new thing for all of us and I so want it to go well for my child." How is that being a helicopter parent? Because the moms got together about the appliances? Do boys actually think about those things??

OP, I feel for you. It's so painful for us when our kids go through painful things. College is one of those transitions, too. I'm sure this will pass,your son will meet at least one other guy and maybe some girls(!) who need some friends. He'll get a new roommate, one that he knows at least as well as he knew the last one. He's going to be fine.

 

[redlight]

My sympathies to your son and you. This has to be difficult. Good luck.

 

[The Princess]

Hope it all works out.

 

[java]

Don't worry. He now has the covetted "swingle" . He'll go to dining hall with friends from his hall. He'll make friends. And he won't think about quitting.
No worries Mom - he'll be fine.

 

[OhMari]

Please stop worrying,
there are more kids out there like your son than you think.
They key for him is to get involved.
I remember my dd said a guy broke the ice when they had a group meeting in their hall way, and the guy asked,
"is there a group I can join where we don't have to do anything"
and about 10 kids raised their hands and wanted to join.
Some just want to sit back, take it in and most will find their way.
My last child is a college sophmore.
I remember we unpacked her and helped her with her dorm room in 2 hours.
We were so efficient, when we left, she was standing on the curb looking at us and wondering where we were going.
With our other kids it took us all day, to help make bunk beds, go pick up last minute items, etc.
Stay positive, and if your son don't have a roommate tomorrow, he will within a few days. Some people want to make room changes really fast.

 

[KSchwagg86]

This happens ALL the time...He will be fine! And I'm almost positive they will have someone in there--maybe even by the time you move in!

 

[lilybrooke14]

Just a slightly different perspective. I was the quitter the first semester. Well, after the first semester. The college I chose was awesome, but frankly, I was a little immature and needed some time to smarten up a bit without wasting my parents money in the process. I went home for a semester, worked full time, enjoyed being out of school and the freedoms that came with that, and then went back to a different college the next year that was a better fit for me.

 

[Ephany]

My first school away from home I was 'quitted'. My roommate to be and I were emailing each other beforehand, everything seemed fine. A lot of kids did these experience trips the week or two before school started and she decided that she'd rather rent out in town with her group than live on campus. I survived just fine, my dorm was more like an apartment and wasn't at full capacity so I pushed the beds together, had a huge room to myself and pushed through.

Lots of people left after the first term for various reasons, I'm sure your son will do fine. Better for him to share a room with someone who wants to be there rather than have a roommate who is miserable because they're not happy with the situation.

 

[BelleWDW]

Honestly, after my first week I rarely hung out with my roomie-we barely knew each other & I made friends with kids in my major-we never even ate together.

 

[jsaem]

Just wondering where your son is going to school. My son is moving into his dorm tomorrow too.

 

[princess momma]

I'm not sure if this is the case everywhere, but there was a waiting list for dorm rooms where I went to college. They put people up in hotel rooms until the first round of people dropped out, then they were placed in a dorm. I don't know what the numbers are but lots of kids just can't handle it and leave.

 

[ontariomonkey]

Have a safe trip. I'm sure your baby boy will be fine and meet new people before he knows it. So many people there will not know a single soul.

And you will be fine too Mom, stay busy if you have no other kids, it will be a big adjustment to you too. Hugs.

 

[Teacher03]

College is an adjustment, but he'll be fine. As others have said, I doubt they leave the room a single for long. Is your son worried, or just you?

 

[aprilgail2]

This happens ALL the time...He will be fine! And I'm almost positive they will have someone in there--maybe even by the time you move in!

my god daughter had three different room mates in just 2 months- as they quit they just kept moving someone else in there with her- it sucked for her but she stuck it out and is in year three now.