Okay...I've Called the Late Night DISers, Now I'm Calling the Single DISers (Part 2)

[mickeysdsnyprncs]

I too am worried about PW. It's not like her to do without her computer for this long.

TB: That is quite a list.

I have often thought of making a list of sorts. One major NEED of mine would have to be that he not try and stop me or derail me from meeting my dreams and goals related to my career with Disney. (I get the "you're not leaving" all the time for friends and guys I am interested in) The other that I can think of right now is that he not have set times to have children, as I do usually date older men. I planning on having kids just not right now. And in the past that has been an issue. Wow now that i think aboutit I am thinking of a lot of NEEDs and WANTS that I could put into a list. Thanks for the idea TB.

Leggs: i think that a lot of women have the same general idea of what a man needs to be. It's just finding him.


Ugh. All this talk about men and significant others makes me feel lonely. I seem to be stuck in that rut lately. I found a new smiley to represent me: One day i am up and the next way down. Ugh.

Anyone knwo someone who can fast forward time? To August? LOL

It's kinda warm here today. YAY! But still not warm enough.

 

[floridaminnie]

Agree 100% with your list also! I PM PW yesterday. She read it this morning, but hasn't relplied back yet. I hope everything is ok!

 

[BarryHom]

Hey TB, if you want a man who likes roller coasters, then why are you dating a guy who won't go on one?

As for me, I'll ride any coaster -- small, big, medium, whatever -- if it says "roller coaster," I'm on it! I'm not sure about parasailing, but I'll try it once at least! Now about the Skycoaster...

 

[Serena]

I love the list TB.

 

[legs22]

TB- Just hang on to him. He'll be 30 soon enough and then he'll meet the criteria.

Sounds like Barry meets the your criteria

 

[mickeysdsnyprncs]

I've been putting some thought into it and I am starting a list of my own, offically. I plan on posting it when it is finished. But that may take me awhile, i want it to be accurate, not just to make a list. More to make myself aware of what i need and want out of life and how a man will play into that.

Goodnight all.

 

[TigerBear]

Good for you MDP! It does take some work. Take your time and really think about it. Although many may relate to my list, I think that when you make your own list your major needs float to the surface. For example, I doubt many people making this type of list would put "he needs to want to spend time with me". That is directly related to my failed marriage. In the last two years of our marriage, I think my ex spent one Friday night with me (of the entire two years - I am not exaggerating! ) - it was a continuing issue between us. I never saw him. Finally, I asked for every Wednesday night and one Friday night a month. He actually said no to the Friday night , but would give me one Saturday night a month. After the divorce, he told me that when I asked him to spend one Friday night a month with me, I was "asking him for his life".

Life is definitely a learning experience. My new guy spends every Friday night with me. And he actually enjoys doing it - imagine that.

 

[BarryHom]

I wonder what TB and her SO do on Friday night. *wink*

 

[Pin Wizard]

Hi, everyone!

What a week! I had left the hotel I was at to stay at a hotel where I could keep my pups with me. Can you say FLEA BAG hotel? Eeeeeeeeek! After four nights there, I couldn't take it any longer. I checked out early and back in to my original hotel. Whew! This place is like the Taj Mahal in comparison! Only the computer of theirs downstairs is not working. Yikes! I need to print letters to go with my resume! So the only bad part is that now the pups are back in boarding...not for long I hope!

I solved the problem of renting...bought a home! Woooooooo hoooooooooo! Closing is set for Monday. Hopefully, the banks won't be holding it up. Cross the fingers for us!

Just been busy with the move, not much else going on. DS started school this past Monday. Having a bit of a hard time, but I'm sure he'll adjust with time. And I even re-registered him for next year. Should be interesting. He has such a great teacher now, I hope next year's is just as great.

Now, to find that job!!!!!

 

[Serena]

TB, I think that list would be good just for a self awareness exercise. Just to get down on paper what's important to you. I think it's a great idea.

PW, wow woman, you are busy. You'll have to tell us all about this house, and I for one, want details.

Good luck as to the rest.

 

[DocRafiki]

PW -- that is great! Now no worries about dogs messing up a rental home! Flea bag, huh? I wonder why! That is pretty impressive that you were able to pull off buying a home without having a job. I have been looking into what it would take for me to buy, and it just ain't happenin any time soon. Maybe I will be a better candidate after I've been at this job for 2 years. Ah well, my landlord just sent the lease for me to renew, anyway. At least I like it where I am, even if I AM throwing away money every month.

I just can't keep up with the rest of you guys' posts!!


TB -- that is great realizing what it is you want from a man. I have to say, though, I'm a little bit against getting too specific with lists. I think it all comes from those dating sites where you have to pick out all the categories that the person has to fit into. I have had this long list of requirements in my head for so long, and I think it has really gotten in the way of my getting to know people. I even decided once that I wasn't going to bother with anyone who didn't have a doctorate degree. Talk about slim pickings! Then I have to remind myself that I was once going to marry someone who got his GED and couldn't finish a semester of college as an art major. I get to being so judgemental and just assuming that people like ___ will behave like ___ that I pretty much erase everyone from the possible pool of eligible bachelors.

So... the next time I start to check off "will not tolerate drug use," I look back and think of all the guys I would never have dated because of a little recreational pot use. Yeah, I would have been on like 2 dates in my life. And yet, those are the things I put on my "lists."

This is why dating services will never work for me. There are some things I just don't need to know about a person until AFTER I've got a feel of whether we get along or not.

 

[legs22]

PW- Like I said before- you are one brave woman!
Congrats on the house! Give us details!
Good luck on the job hunt

There is a book "How to tell if someone is worth pursuing in 2 dates or less" by Neil Clark Warren (eHarmony guy) and he talks about making your list and narrowing it down to 10 "must haves" and 10 "can't stands". And think about these carefully- even if person meets all but one, it's still a no go. These are deal breakers/absolutes. It is a good book. Gets you thinking about what is really important to you.

 

[DocRafiki]

I guess stuff like that is for people who date a lot and keep ending up with the wrong type of person. I'm the complete opposite. I date like NEVER. Every potential date automatically gets me to making a list of reasons why he's not good enough, right off the bat. I sure don't need help narrowing them down! I need a book that will help me pick out things in people that would make them seem like they were worth getting to know. I wonder if a book like that even exists! I am hopeless.

Oh and the must haves and can't stands on eHarmony just are so silly. I can't think of any right now, but I had to really narrow them down. I started off wanting to click every one! But really, some are so ridiculous you have to wonder about people who choose them for their profiles.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Thanks, Serena, Jen, and Legs! We found buying the first home a bit difficult, Jen. But it gets easier after that! Details! I'll have to work on that. But within the first 5 minutes of being in the place, I knew it was the one for me!! I love it as much as the home I had in Florida...and I wanted to move that one up here with me! The realtor told me to go ahead and call the utilities! Woooooooooo hoooooooooooo!

 

[DocRafiki]

That is awesome! You sound really happy with it. We will want to see photos when you get settled in. Does that mean you get to move in on Monday?

 

[legs22]

Did you get a single family home or a townhouse/connected home? I have a SFH now but think it would be so much easier to live in a townhouse.

 

[TigerBear]

PW, its so good to hear from you!! Congratulations on the new home to be!! I want to see pics too.

 

[Serena]

Yay!!!!! I'm so happy for you.

 

[mickeysdsnyprncs]

CONGRATS PW!!!! YAY!!! Now here's some for the JOB hunting.

I've decided again, that I'll never understand MEN. Especially when they can't make up their mind.

Jenn: Sometimes I feel the same way. All these books are not going to help me. i have one book. Bought it and then the guy i wanted came a round with out it. Same time that i joined matchmaker. I jioned then like two days later he asks me if I wanna go out. Duh, I only tried for like 4 months! But things didn't work out. So here I am single again, I was really liking it but it's starting to get old.

Anyone ever had someone you consider a friend that just doesn't understand that and keep trying to get with you??? I try and try to tell them. (Yes, I said them, there is more than more. ) But they just don't understand. I have in the past (with others) had to stop even talking to them at all because they couldn't get it and it started to bother me.

 

[TigerBear]

Doc, I can understand why having a list wouldn't help you if your problem is meeting people that you are even interested in to begin with. Sometimes I get the feeling that dating feels like a chore to you. LOL! Maybe just give yourself permission to have fun without necessarily thinking "Is he the one?" or "Is he worth it?". If you at all think you might be interested in someone give him a shot. Go out once or twice to see if you might become more interested. On the second date with my guy, I left thinking, "I know I am attracted to him, but I don't know if we will be able to connect emotionally". I'm so glad I continued seeing him even though I had doubts. Our third date turned out to be the best date of my life.

MDP, some men just have a hard time getting it. Sometimes you just have to lay it on the line, "I consider you just a friend. I'm sorry but I am not interested in dating you". If they still persist, I would question how true a friend they really are.