Oh no Nephew changed wedding to our cruise departure date UPDATE OP

[Kirby]

I would not keep my mouth shut. I would bring it up now. Otherwise I think she will be more angry--- She is going to want to know why you didn't tell her the minute you found out she changed the wedding since you knew you had a conflict. I think you are probably going to make matters worse by not bringing it up now.

My thoughts. Family does come first- your family. The times I remember most as a kid are the family vacations with Mom and Dad. Dad's gone now, and I treasure those memories. As you stated, this may be your last chance for a big family trip, and you have been unable to get the dates and get a price where you can still go. If you cancel the cruise, you may not get the opportunity again. I think you should go on the cruise.

I think you should talk to your sister right now. I would tell her that you just found out when your nephew's wedding date got moved to, and that you have had a cruise booked for that date since whenever the date was you booked it (sounds like a long time ago). I would tell her that you scrimped and saved for this cruise and got a 40% (or whatever it was) discount. I would tell her that on finding out the nephew's date change, you immediately called and tried to switch your dates, but they could not do it for the same price or for a price you could afford. Then I would tell her that because of that, you are very sorry, but you can't attend the wedding. Maybe offer to go visit nephew and fiance in the interim and do something special, or do something special for him, the next time he comes to town to visit your sister to make up for the fact that you can not attend the wedding.

I second everything you said. Speaking from experience, both of my kids are grown, in college and I don't know when we'll have another trip together if ever. We went on our first trip in over 20 years without the kids and we missed them.

OP, whatever you decide, please let us know the outcome. It would be nice to find out what finally happens.

 

[LilyWDW]

So wait... in rereading all of this, am I wrong in understanding that you have yet to be contacted about the schedule change? That you found out from another member of the family? Why have the couple or even their parents not contacted you as of yet? How far back was the date changed?

 

[runwad]

So wait... in rereading all of this, am I wrong in understanding that you have yet to be contacted about the schedule change? That you found out from another member of the family? Why have the couple or even their parents not contacted you as of yet? How far back was the date changed?

Yep you're right. My youngest sister told me about the date changed and she found out from our neice. My oldest sister called neice to get our x-sil address to invite to the wedding. Guess she is getting the list together since it's moved up. Wedding was originally scheduled for Memorial weekend 2013, not its 6/2/12 because of deployment change.

Oldest sister won't be at Thanksgiving cause she'll be on the inlaws side. I'll probably see her beginning of december at a family birthday party and I'm sure she'll tell us all then. I don't want to tell her in front of everyone at a family function. Why can't I wait and not say anything, see if anyone cancels their May cruises in Feb at the 75 day mark. I mean maybe I can change it then all this will be averted. If I can't change it then I'll be honest with her in March, hopefully after the shower,so I don't have to catch family flack. I'll tell her I was hoping to change and tried but couldn't and we'd lose money. At that point if I'm at the paid in full point it's true.

Wedding is in our area not far at all I'm the furthest away at 40 min. Nephew is a state away but coming home for wedding. I do see him reguarly thru the year at holidays and summers. Thanks for everyones responses.

Oh and no I wouldn't be mad if someone had a conflict with one of my kids weddings, honestly. I'm just not like that. Plus hey that's one less person we have to pay to feed

 

[mommagoof]

Well, you could always wait for her to tell you about the date change and tell her that you were leaving for a cruise that day but that you would call and change dates. Leave it at that for a few days, and then call her and tell her that the sail dates before the wedding are full and if you change to a date after it is $3,500 more. And you could tell her that you have been paying on it and you used Disney Gift Cards (because you got $10.00 off every $100 or something) and you did NOT keep the cards and they said if you canceled the money would be put back on the gift cards. And since you don't have them you would" lose" all the money.

 

[starry_solo]

From the OP:
They changed dates cause nephew is in the service and was getting shipped out 2/12 so they couldn't get married till he came home in 2013.

But now he's getting shipped off in 10/12.

Well, it seems that their original plan was not to get married til he came back from the service. I wouldn't change plans but would try to schedule a trip after the cruise to be with them (they should be back from their honeymoon by then too).

 

[Swan4Me]

i haven't read it all but here is my response:

DH's cousin called us at the end of September and told us she is getting married on Dec 24...in Hawaii! It would be a wonderful trip if we could go but we can't for a few reasons. ?

I cant imagine planning a Christmas Eve wedding stateside either! People have plans with both sides of family-then you have the Santa Clause matter.

 

[M4travels]

OP, enjoy the wedding....or at least pretend to. It doesn't matter what anyone here says or thinks. Vegas odds are you (and your family) will be there.

 

[runwad]

Well I bit the bullet and transferred our reservations to a July 2013 cruise. It's 2k more and pained me to lose my good rate I had on the June '12 cruise but we just can't miss this wedding. I talked to my sister and was asking if they tried any other dates or why this date was picked and she said that was the only time both the church and the hall were available. I didn't tell her we had this cruise, I wanted to see if they could change their date, but they can't. So after weeks of agonizing over this decision I moved it today. Oh and another little monkey wrench, my DD16 is a runner and has a good chance of qualifying for State this year with her relay track team. I'm not sure if they will or not but oh my she'd never go if she qualified for state (which would be while we were on this cruise too) and DH said he wouldn't go either. So I changed it and it's done. Now I have some more time to save up difference. Now you know thanks for everyone's suggestions

PS. I'LL BE SURE TO LET ALL THE FAMILY KNOW ABOUT THIS JULY DATE AS WE HAVE 2 DN'S WHO MAY BE GETTING MARRIED IN 2013!!

 

[Kitzka]

Well I bit the bullet and transferred our reservations to a July 2013 cruise. It's 2k more and pained me to lose my good rate I had on the June '12 cruise but we just can't miss this wedding. I talked to my sister and was asking if they tried any other dates or why this date was picked and she said that was the only time both the church and the hall were available. I didn't tell her we had this cruise, I wanted to see if they could change their date, but they can't. So after weeks of agonizing over this decision I moved it today. Oh and another little monkey wrench, my DD16 is a runner and has a good chance of qualifying for State this year with her relay track team. I'm not sure if they will or not but oh my she'd never go if she qualified for state (which would be while we were on this cruise too) and DH said he wouldn't go either. So I changed it and it's done. Now I have some more time to save up difference. Now you know thanks for everyone's suggestions

PS. I'LL BE SURE TO LET ALL THE FAMILY KNOW ABOUT THIS JULY DATE AS WE HAVE 2 DN'S WHO MAY BE GETTING MARRIED IN 2013!!

I'm glad it worked out. Hopefully no one gets married on your new cruise dates!

Lara