Got it sorted out! Apparently the man I spoke with on the phone was sick of talking to people about it/had no patience left and took it out on me (I call Disney often and he had the worst customer service skills of anyone I have ever spoken to and that includes the new
DAS approval cast members

). I called back this morning and spoke with someone else. She was calm and kind and when I explained that I was at the rained out party on the 8th and asked if I could please have a refund or christmas party tickets instead of the one day hoppers because we are pass holders she immediately said absolutely and we got the ball rolling on the change to christmas party tickets (because that's what I would have done with the refund money anyway). It took less than 5 minutes and she told me that because I have never received recovery tickets before she waived the $120-ish difference in
ticket prices for us (that I was 100% ready to pay card in hand when she told me).
So, yea. Call back or go in person if possible if the first person shuts you down. I said exactly the same thing in the same way to both CMs, obviously the first one that I spoke to wasn't inclined to follow procedure/was not truthful with me because it was so easy for the second one to get it done. I didn't speak to a manager either time, just the front line CM that answered the phone.