odd breastfeeding question

[Ceila]

But the big difference here is that having sex in public is not legal. Breastfeeding is. There's no upper age limit on the legality of it (at least where I live).

TP

Fine, let's go with something that's legal and that many second graders do. How about picking their nose? It's legal and many kids do it. However, just like nursing an 8-year-old, it is socially unacceptable and would not be welcomed in my home in front of everyone else.

I would make sure the mother had a comfortable - PRIVATE - place to nurse.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

I see kids picking their noses all the time. When my kids did it, I would ask them to go to the bathroom and use a kleenex. But when it's other people's kids - at the next table in a restaurant or at the mall - yeah, I look away.

TP

 

[madcam]

Well, it would rather make a mess of the meal, and I wouldn't much appreciate that. I've certainly been at bars and parties where people were getting pretty - affectionate/intimate - and yes, I just moved away or looked somewhere else.

But the big difference here is that having sex in public is not legal. Breastfeeding is. There's no upper age limit on the legality of it (at least where I live).

TP

So, purely out of curiosity (and I am kind of dreading your answer), do you support the actual nursing of an 8 yr old child (male or female) or just the mother's right to do so. Because we all have the "right" to do alot of things in this great country of ours. But there are ALOT of things that MOST of us do not do even though it is our right. We also have the right not to allow those things in our own homes regardless of legality (and would the whole "sex on the table" be illegal if it was in the privacy of a home?...just sayin'). I'm gonna go ahead and speak for the majority of us on here and say we choose not to engage in or support grade school children breast feeding because we find it gross, inappropriate, inconciderate, damaging, or abusive. Or a combination of one or more of those. For me, I choose all of the above.

 

[lovin diz]

I see kids picking their noses all the time. When my kids did it, I would ask them to go to the bathroom and use a kleenex. But when it's other people's kids - at the next table in a restaurant or at the mall - yeah, I look away.

TP

sorry, but i think if i saw an 8 yr old at a resturant--"nursing", i think i would call the police...Just saying'

 

[ilovejack02]

sorry, but i think if i saw an 8 yr old at a resturant--"nursing", i think i would call the police...Just saying'

I can't believe this is actually a discussion .

 

[Scurvy]

But the big difference here is that having sex in public is not legal. Breastfeeding is. There's no upper age limit on the legality of it (at least where I live).

Well since a home is private, the laws don't get to dictate what is permitted on the dining room table. Fortunately for the OP, it doesn't matter if it's legal to breastfeed children, teenagers or even adults. The fact that something is legal does not mean that someone has to allow it in her own home, so if the OP finds it distasteful then she has every right to forbid it in her home.

 

[Ceila]

I see kids picking their noses all the time. When my kids did it, I would ask them to go to the bathroom and use a kleenex. But when it's other people's kids - at the next table in a restaurant or at the mall - yeah, I look away.

TP

We're NOT talking about a restaurant. We're talking about someone's home. And if a kid came to my home and decided to pick his/her nose, you can bet that I wouldn't just "look away." I'd say that isn't allowed in our house.

 

[Magpie]

reminds me of this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIAyxmlk5rg

That was... interesting. I wonder if the girls go to public school? I hope they didn't have to deal with their peers watching the documentary about them!

Watching it, it seemed to me as if the mum was infantilizing her younger daughter. Kind of like letting her continue to suck a pacifier or talk in baby talk. Things you generally want to discourage by age 8. I mean, it's good for kids to hear the word "No" from time to time.

In any case, I did read one story of an older child breastfeeding that made perfect sense to me - it was a woman in a Chinese village in the midst of a famine who breastfed her son until he was ten years old. At which point they emigrated to the US. But they were in the middle of a famine!

Also, my mother (a university prof) told me one theory about the ice age which suggests that tribes survived by feeding the women the best food and then having everyone nurse from them. Kind of like having cows.

And of course, in Steinbeck's East of Eden, a woman saves a starving man's life by breastfeeding him.

Extending breastfeeding past age 3 is a sensible choice for poor people in third world countries. For the rest of us... not so much.

 

[WL Fan]

And once more I am reminded why I love the Dis!

P.S. Is it pronounced nin-nies? Or nine-ies? Just askin'.

 

[DisneyCowgirl]

Where are all these crazy threads coming from today? Please report back after the big get-together so we can all find out what went down!

 

[ginna74]

well, as long as the 8 year olds help hand out candy after they trick or treat, I guess I can be swayed..

 

[RadioNate]

reminds me of this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIAyxmlk5rg

That is horrifying. Those girls are seriously messed up! Beyond wow.

Why can't this woman just pump and give them breastmilk in a cup?

 

[wdwcoltsfan]

To me, it seems like the sil has chosen to make this about herself, not about what is in the best interest of her children. If she has even an ounce of social grace, she realizes that breastfeeding a 6 or 8 year old in front of others in someones elses home is not a social norm. It is something that many are going to be uncomfortable with, but yet she chooses to make it about her and do it anyway.

There is absolutely NO reason why her two older children NEED to breastfeed during their family dinner. Good grief, her oldest is probably doing simple mulitpication and division, I think he/she can understand the concept of waiting until they get home. All the mom has to do is explain that she will feed the younger two, but the older ones need to wait until they get home. Do the kids go to school? If so, they make it through the day without mom's assistance.

There is no reason it has to be this difficult, but the sil has chosen to make it difficult for the OP and the entire family. She isn't someone to respect or admire.


Rachel

 

[EllenFrasier]

That is horrifying. Those girls are seriously messed up! Beyond wow.

Why can't this woman just pump and give them breastmilk in a cup?

Exactly what I was thinking! Even for the 10 year old in the Chinese village that was in the middle of a famine - pump it and drink it.

 

[Mermaid02]

I'm blind! I'm blind! I'm blind! Did you HAVE to actually type those words so I'd have to READ them? I am dead certain to have nightmares tonight.

Since SIL told you to MYOB and you all want to hold down your Thanksgiving meal instead of tossing your cookies, I'd tell her it was my own business because it is my own house. And in my own house, kids that are old enough to order from a menu, read a book, do math homework, and prepare simple meals for themselves are NOT allowed to ask to suckle on mommy's hoo-hahs right in front of God and everybody because it's just not done....at least in my house. Period.

For the record, I don't care about what is done in other societies. This is America we're talking about (the OP was an American, wasn't she? ) and in our society, breastfeeding a 6 and 8 y.o. is not acceptable. Forcing others to watch it is even less acceptable. If you want to question why others find it uncomfortable, it's because they have a clue as to social conventions and have picked up on "it's not NORMAL in our society." SIL is the odd one out, not them. She's not brave....she's weird.

I'll come out and say it. I'd draw a line in the sand on this one. Someone needs to stand up to that nutcase. And as I often tell DH, "Obviously no one else is going to do it, so I guess it will have to be me." Fine. If she calls your bluff, tell her in front of everyone that you won't allow it. If she insists, tell those kids you think they are too old to nurse and it's not going to happen in your house and let the fallout begin. Since I'd be tempted to call CPS anyway, what does it matter?

Why should teenagers (or adults) have to watch something that freaking weird? Why should they be held hostage by a bully breastfeeder? I'd be tempted to have the 18 y.o. have a bunch of his buddies come over for a viewing with their camcorders/call phones and post it on youtube.

Seriously, this would NOT happen in my house. I'll bet everyone is praying someone else will stop her......It's just that no one else has the nerve to do it. So do the world a favor and stop her in her tracks. If for no other reason, for the sake of her children.

I think this is my all time favorite Dis post!

I think SIL really loves her "ninnies" and wants everyone to love them too. She's some sort of weirdo exhibitionist who is using her kids to get attention for herself.

My house, my rules. This is the hill (pun intended) I would die on. No way would she whip the girls out and have her "big kids" have a nip (pun intended AGAIN!) in my house.

 

[LiberalPrincess]

There is absolutely NO reason why her two older children NEED to breastfeed during their family dinner. Good grief, her oldest is probably doing simple mulitpication and division, I think he/she can understand the concept of waiting until they get home. All the mom has to do is explain that she will feed the younger two, but the older ones need to wait until they get home. Do the kids go to school? If so, they make it through the day without mom's assistance.


Rachel

Respectfully snipped. Is it wrong to assume that the older kids will actually be eating food as well? What is the breastfeeding, dessert? I am completely baffled by so much of this.

 

[wdwcoltsfan]

Respectfully snipped. Is it wrong to assume that the older kids will actually be eating food as well? What is the breastfeeding, dessert? I am completely baffled by so much of this.

That's what I'm thinking--they will be eating table food as well. I'm assuming that they aren't exclusively breastfed.


Rachel

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

I think the 18 year old should ask if he could get a shot.

<----instigator

My DFIL would be right in line behind the 8 year old for his turn

 

[MaumeeMom]

I'm blind! I'm blind! I'm blind! Did you HAVE to actually type those words so I'd have to READ them? I am dead certain to have nightmares tonight.

Since SIL told you to MYOB and you all want to hold down your Thanksgiving meal instead of tossing your cookies, I'd tell her it was my own business because it is my own house. And in my own house, kids that are old enough to order from a menu, read a book, do math homework, and prepare simple meals for themselves are NOT allowed to ask to suckle on mommy's hoo-hahs right in front of God and everybody because it's just not done....at least in my house. Period.

For the record, I don't care about what is done in other societies. This is America we're talking about (the OP was an American, wasn't she? ) and in our society, breastfeeding a 6 and 8 y.o. is not acceptable. Forcing others to watch it is even less acceptable. If you want to question why others find it uncomfortable, it's because they have a clue as to social conventions and have picked up on "it's not NORMAL in our society." SIL is the odd one out, not them. She's not brave....she's weird.

I'll come out and say it. I'd draw a line in the sand on this one. Someone needs to stand up to that nutcase. And as I often tell DH, "Obviously no one else is going to do it, so I guess it will have to be me." Fine. If she calls your bluff, tell her in front of everyone that you won't allow it. If she insists, tell those kids you think they are too old to nurse and it's not going to happen in your house and let the fallout begin. Since I'd be tempted to call CPS anyway, what does it matter?

Why should teenagers (or adults) have to watch something that freaking weird? Why should they be held hostage by a bully breastfeeder? I'd be tempted to have the 18 y.o. have a bunch of his buddies come over for a viewing with their camcorders/cell phones and post it on youtube.

Seriously, this would NOT happen in my house. I'll bet everyone is praying someone else will stop her......It's just that no one else has the nerve to do it. So do the world a favor and stop her in her tracks. If for no other reason, for the sake of her children.

Exactly!

 

[pigletgirl]

HECK NO.......

Who the fdsfdjsf;js;l does she think she is? Adding to that, there are 18 year old MALES in the house. They will be thinking one thing only...

OP I would have serious words with her. That practice is totally unacceptable.