odd breastfeeding question

[quentina]

On the bright side, if you run out of creamer for the coffee.....

......................or need help unhooking your bra

 

[ginna74]

It is not natural to breastfeed an 8 year old.

it is just as natural to breastfeed a 9, 10, or a 11 year old!.... OK REALLY WHO THINKS IT IS OK..... IT IS JUST WRONG!!




by the way rainbow.... I was argreeing with you lol

 

[J3nn78]

it is just as natural to breastfeed a 9, 10, or a 11 year old!

Unusual, but I still would not use the word unnatural. The world wide age of natural weaning is around 4 years old. That means for every under 4 there needs to be an over 4. Our society has such a negative view on Breastfeeding that it is frowned upon to nurse past the age of one.

I personally would not nurse my children that long, even if they wanted to. Fortunately, they weaned themselves around 18 months and I did not have to decide for them. I would have let them continue longer, but certainly not until 8 years old.

Is it not unnatural to drink cows breastmilk? Would it not be more natural to drink human breastmilk? When you really think about it, it does not make much sense.

 

[DisneyKT]

This is really easy. You say I don't want any problems on this day. Nurse in private please. Then if she say MYOB. Say My house, my rules. Good Luck.

 

[RainbowBrite]

Is it not unnatural to drink cows breastmilk? Would it not be more natural to drink human breastmilk? When you really think about it, it does not make much sense.

I think the unnatural part is an 8 year old drinking from it's mother's breast, not so much an issue with the breastmilk itself.

 

[Hannathy]

I am 100% pro breastfeeding and pro child led weaning, so I have nothing against the 6 and 8 year old nursing.

But, if I were you, I would just be honest with her. Tell her, that although you do not have a problem with her nursing the older 2 children, you would prefer that she do it in private (in a nice space set up by you), so as to make sure all guests are comfortable since nursing older children is outside the norm.

Any reasonable person should not have a problem with that and be able to understand. It would be wrong however, IMO, to ask her to leave when nursing the younger two. Other people need to be considerate of nursing mothers. It is natural and should not be looked upon with shame.

Who the Hell would not have a problem with her nursing an 8 yr old?
I will not give a blanket statement about the younger 2 with this wacko they could be 5 yr old twins! Any reasonable person WOULD NOT be nursing an 8 yr old. No it is not natural to be nursing an 8 yr old.

If this wasn't so sad and sick it would be funny but it is too far crazy to be funny.

I would be telling her ahead of time that she would not be doing that in my home and if she has to do it she can just go to her car.

I think at those ages she is walking on thin ice and that it could be called sexual contact with a minor.

 

[bellebud]

......................or need help unhooking your bra

omg!

Yes! When the child is old enough to say "mom, I'm thirsty, let me unhook your bra", it's time to wean!

 

[Hannathy]

Is it not unnatural to drink cows breastmilk? Would it not be more natural to drink human breastmilk? When you really think about it, it does not make much sense.

No body goes up to a cow and sucks on it's teats!!!!!!!!


If she want's her kids to have breast milk, pump it like we do cows and serve it to them in a glass.

 

[rie'smom]

Unusual, but I still would not use the word unnatural. The world wide age of natural weaning is around 4 years old. That means for every under 4 there needs to be an over 4. Our society has such a negative view on Breastfeeding that it is frowned upon to nurse past the age of one.

I personally would not nurse my children that long, even if they wanted to. Fortunately, they weaned themselves around 18 months and I did not have to decide for them. I would have let them continue longer, but certainly not until 8 years old.

Is it not unnatural to drink cows breastmilk? Would it not be more natural to drink human breastmilk? When you really think about it, it does not make much sense.

Is this a mantra?
I've read it more than once on the thread.
Maybe in foreign countries it's the norm to breastfeed until the kid is 35.The thread concerns a woman whose family is uncomfortable with her sister in law plopping out a breast to feed a kid who can multiply and maybe divide. The politically correct, love the world, Kumbayah crud is not what this is about.

 

[quentina]

This is one of my top 3 threads.......

In first place is the Mother in law Christmas gifts
Second goes to the farting thread
And this one gets third.

I really needed to laugh like this today!

 

[J3nn78]

I think the unnatural part is an 8 year old drinking from it's mother's breast, not so much an issue with the breastmilk itself.

If society did not sexualize women's breasts it would not be an issue. The purpose and function of the female breast is to feed offspring.

Our closets animal relatives (non human primates) nurse until
the babies get their first permanent molars- (For humans 5.5-6 years old )
or when they reach about 1/3 of their adult weight (5-7 year range)
or roughly halfway to reproductive maturity (6-7)

Really, I am just saying that unnatural is not the right description. Beyond societal norm-yes. Wrong?-who is to judge that.

But, bottom line. As I suggested to OP, just be honest and say that it makes others uncomfortable to nurse the older 2 in the presence of others.

 

[Pigeon]

Your house, you get to set the rules. So telling the others to mind their own business and keep their two cents to themselves is entirely reasonable.

Personally, while it seems a little "out there" to me to breastfeed kids that old, it's nobody's business but theirs, and the people who are offended can just stay home if it bothers them that much.

 

[sturdypeasantstock]

Well, extended nursing is common in my family (all sides), but I think DS wins the family prize for going right up to before his 6th b'day. And we haven't nursed in public for years. When at my brother's, I would go to another room, even when DS was tiny (though I'll admit to nursing DS right next to my brother on POTC).

My half-brothers were 10 and 12 when their sister was born, and she nursed until she was 5, and my stepmom never hid it from her sons. But I don't think they nursed at family functions (beyond the immediate family). The brothers never thought it was ANY sort of big deal at all. It's their sister and their mom, and the two of them were doing what nature allows for; Cady was just being fed.

MOST kids I know of that age who nurse in Western society know that other kids their age aren't nursing (and they get sad about it), and don't WANT to single themselves out like that. So your SIL has some STRONG kids, to nurse around peers who are disapproving! They might very well be strong adults who can handle anything! Especially since their mom is still meeting their needs without letting society dictate what they do. It's pretty awesome, if you think about it that way.


Why are the teenagers bothered by the olders nursing, but not for the youngers? Where are they getting their social dictates from? Is this truly coming from the adults? Because from my family's experiences, teens who are raised in a nursing household know very well that chests are *for nursing*, and they know how to avert their eyes. The child is being fed and comforted, no big deal whatsoever. And if their parents are reminding them that this is ALL that is happening, and that they don't have to watch, then it should be done.

You could ask the SIL to nurse everyone away from family, but that's pretty sad. I personally moved from people b/c I'm modest and my son disliked my shirt so I was in constant danger of showing my whole upper body with him, but that's ME. It's not others. A family is a place where we should be safe. And if she's asked to move, she's not safe anymore.

I think the adults need to look into their own hearts and try to figure out what skewed senses of right and wrong and child feeding and even why they think it's so very weird for an older child to want sweet sweet milk (containing antibodies and ALL sorts of good stuff) every so often. Tell the teens to avert their eyes. And leave SIL alone.

ITA - well said.

 

[J3nn78]

Let me clarify that I am not saying we should drink human breastmilk. I for one would not. Just something I thought of when so many are saying how wrong it is to nurse older children-deep down according to nature, human milk is for human offspring.

 

[Pigeon]

Your house, you get to set the rules. So telling the others to mind their own business and keep their two cents to themselves is entirely reasonable.

Personally, while it seems a little "out there" to me to breastfeed kids that old, it's nobody's business but theirs, and the people who are offended can just stay home if it bothers them that much.

Ooops, I misread your OP. I thought you wanted the others to shut up about it.

However, still your house. I think you should talk to your SIL about this ahead of time and be prepared to have her and her family stay home because you are going to offend them.

There's no way this isn't going to create hurt feelings.

 

[J3nn78]

Originally Posted by bumbershoot
Well, extended nursing is common in my family (all sides), but I think DS wins the family prize for going right up to before his 6th b'day. And we haven't nursed in public for years. When at my brother's, I would go to another room, even when DS was tiny (though I'll admit to nursing DS right next to my brother on POTC).

My half-brothers were 10 and 12 when their sister was born, and she nursed until she was 5, and my stepmom never hid it from her sons. But I don't think they nursed at family functions (beyond the immediate family). The brothers never thought it was ANY sort of big deal at all. It's their sister and their mom, and the two of them were doing what nature allows for; Cady was just being fed.

MOST kids I know of that age who nurse in Western society know that other kids their age aren't nursing (and they get sad about it), and don't WANT to single themselves out like that. So your SIL has some STRONG kids, to nurse around peers who are disapproving! They might very well be strong adults who can handle anything! Especially since their mom is still meeting their needs without letting society dictate what they do. It's pretty awesome, if you think about it that way.


Why are the teenagers bothered by the olders nursing, but not for the youngers? Where are they getting their social dictates from? Is this truly coming from the adults? Because from my family's experiences, teens who are raised in a nursing household know very well that chests are *for nursing*, and they know how to avert their eyes. The child is being fed and comforted, no big deal whatsoever. And if their parents are reminding them that this is ALL that is happening, and that they don't have to watch, then it should be done.

You could ask the SIL to nurse everyone away from family, but that's pretty sad. I personally moved from people b/c I'm modest and my son disliked my shirt so I was in constant danger of showing my whole upper body with him, but that's ME. It's not others. A family is a place where we should be safe. And if she's asked to move, she's not safe anymore.

I think the adults need to look into their own hearts and try to figure out what skewed senses of right and wrong and child feeding and even why they think it's so very weird for an older child to want sweet sweet milk (containing antibodies and ALL sorts of good stuff) every so often. Tell the teens to avert their eyes. And leave SIL alone.

Yay for you not allowing society to dictate your parenting choices. I could not agree more.

 

[cntrygal]

OP call CHild protective services right away .....please get some help for those kids

 

[MaumeeMom]

If society did not sexualize women's breasts it would not be an issue. The purpose and function of the female breast is to feed offspring.

Actually I think most are multi-functional. Society didn't sexualize them nature did. Pleasure leads to more sex which leads to more procreation = nature's design.

Our closets animal relatives (non human primates) nurse until
the babies get their first permanent molars- (For humans 5.5-6 years old )
or when they reach about 1/3 of their adult weight (5-7 year range)
or roughly halfway to reproductive maturity (6-7)

Really, I am just saying that unnatural is not the right description. Beyond societal norm-yes. Wrong?-who is to judge that.

But, bottom line. As I suggested to OP, just be honest and say that it makes others uncomfortable to nurse the older 2 in the presence of others.

"Who is to judge that?" Sorry, but I am. In our society, food is plentiful, there is no reason for a school age child to be breastfeeding.

OP, I'm with the "My house, my rules" crowd. If she does do it in front of the teenagers, they would have my permission to wolf whistle, laugh or point and stare in order to get the point across that this is just not acceptable. Good luck and please report back.

 

[BELLE1109]

Our closets animal relatives (non human primates) nurse until
the babies get their first permanent molars- (For humans 5.5-6 years old )
or when they reach about 1/3 of their adult weight (5-7 year range)
or roughly halfway to reproductive maturity (6-7)

Apes also feces and exhibit other primitive behaviors that we have evolved beyond. My goodness, just get the kid a juice box!
If people want to act oddly, they should confine it to their own home

 

[jenrose66]

I think that it's great that SIL is comfortable feeding her kids...I hope to breastfeed my new one when she gets here and one of my hangups is I don't feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of people and I think privacy will be an issue.

With that said...there is no reason that you SIL should be breastfeeding a baby older than 1 in front of others. It is her choice to let her 6 and 8 year old eat off the breast, but they should do so in private. They are at the age where mom should be able to let them know that it is something that they can do at home but not in front of others...or she can pump some to bring and they can drink it in cups.

Good luck with this...honestly I would just not invite the SIL and brother if that is how she would insist on behaving in public.