odd breastfeeding question

[BriarfoxinWA]

To the OP... if you really want to stand your ground, I'd tell SIL ahead of time that you have a room set up for her to BF in private. If that is not acceptable to her, then in light of the fact that she makes the rest of the family uncomfortable by breastfeeding her school age children, I would ask her not to attend.

 

[surfgirl]

wow. just wow.

agree with everyone who says, 'my house, my rules'. You aren't against her bf'ing, just bf'ing in front of you.

two questions:

1) please update us on any conversation and the post-T'giving results.

2) what is the gender of the 8yo ? I know 2nd graders last year that discovered playboy dot com. I was horrified. I'm not a psychologist, nor did I sleep at a Holiday Inn last night, but I wonder ... if its a boy, I think he'll be a breast man!

what cut of turkey does she request ? The breast ?

 

[ilovepcot]

Well, extended nursing is common in my family (all sides), but I think DS wins the family prize for going right up to before his 6th b'day. And we haven't nursed in public for years. When at my brother's, I would go to another room, even when DS was tiny (though I'll admit to nursing DS right next to my brother on POTC).

My half-brothers were 10 and 12 when their sister was born, and she nursed until she was 5, and my stepmom never hid it from her sons. But I don't think they nursed at family functions (beyond the immediate family). The brothers never thought it was ANY sort of big deal at all. It's their sister and their mom, and the two of them were doing what nature allows for; Cady was just being fed.

MOST kids I know of that age who nurse in Western society know that other kids their age aren't nursing (and they get sad about it), and don't WANT to single themselves out like that. So your SIL has some STRONG kids, to nurse around peers who are disapproving! They might very well be strong adults who can handle anything! Especially since their mom is still meeting their needs without letting society dictate what they do. It's pretty awesome, if you think about it that way.


Why are the teenagers bothered by the olders nursing, but not for the youngers? Where are they getting their social dictates from? Is this truly coming from the adults? Because from my family's experiences, teens who are raised in a nursing household know very well that chests are *for nursing*, and they know how to avert their eyes. The child is being fed and comforted, no big deal whatsoever. And if their parents are reminding them that this is ALL that is happening, and that they don't have to watch, then it should be done.

You could ask the SIL to nurse everyone away from family, but that's pretty sad. I personally moved from people b/c I'm modest and my son disliked my shirt so I was in constant danger of showing my whole upper body with him, but that's ME. It's not others. A family is a place where we should be safe. And if she's asked to move, she's not safe anymore.

I think the adults need to look into their own hearts and try to figure out what skewed senses of right and wrong and child feeding and even why they think it's so very weird for an older child to want sweet sweet milk (containing antibodies and ALL sorts of good stuff) every so often. Tell the teens to avert their eyes. And leave SIL alone.

Geeee...reading this post can transport you to 1969. The sound coming from the VW van is Iron Butterfly playing In A Gadda da Vida over the 8 trac. Stale smell of marijuana wafting all around...bodies all tangled together in a tent where "free love" really is just that. Men with long dirty hair and long scraggly beards. Women practicing the "natural" look which includes not shaving legs or believing in the use of hygiene products. Yeah, everyone just getting their groove on. Reading the above post somehow just made me think of all this.

Okay...snapped back to 2010. 8 year old? Pump - glass.

 

[mster425]

Just nipping in to say that this is the most entertaining and horrifying thread I've ever read on the DIS.

And that video- yikes!

 

[wdwcoltsfan]

Respectfully snipped. Is it wrong to assume that the older kids will actually be eating food as well? What is the breastfeeding, dessert? I am completely baffled by so much of this.

That's what I'm thinking--they will be eating table food as well. I'm assuming that they aren't exclusively breastfed.


Rachel

 

[usnuzuloose]

Not is it only abuse, this is her way of keeping them dependent on her. It also control. Your husband needs to step up to the plate and say something. If you keep backing down and not say anything you just keep enabaling her as well. Jo

 

[whatsup]

ask her if she can pump her breasts and put into a bottle for the younger ones. As for the 6 and 8 year old (too old in my opinion) can drink from a glass.

 

[surfgirl]

Just nipping in ....

bwah!!!!

 

[Carnie]

Perhaps the family can join together in a rousing chorus of "Do Your Bewbs Hang Low?" while she does it?

I bet, after all that service, she sure can tie 'em in a bow.

 

[EMom]

Perhaps the family can join together in a rousing chorus of "Do Your Bewbs Hang Low?" while she does it?

I bet, after all that service, she sure can tie 'em in a bow.

You do realize I will never get that song out of my head now?

 

[rie'smom]

Well, it would rather make a mess of the meal, and I wouldn't much appreciate that. I've certainly been at bars and parties where people were getting pretty - affectionate/intimate - and yes, I just moved away or looked somewhere else.

But the big difference here is that having sex in public is not legal. Breastfeeding is. There's no upper age limit on the legality of it (at least where I live).

TP

No, the mess would be made by the person making everyone else uncomfortable. My house my rules and to heck with what is allowed in public.

Geeee...reading this post can transport you to 1969. The sound coming from the VW van is Iron Butterfly playing In A Gadda da Vida over the 8 trac. Stale smell of marijuana wafting all around...bodies all tangled together in a tent where "free love" really is just that. Men with long dirty hair and long scraggly beards. Women practicing the "natural" look which includes not shaving legs or believing in the use of hygiene products. Yeah, everyone just getting their groove on. Reading the above post somehow just made me think of all this.

Okay...snapped back to 2010. 8 year old? Pump - glass.

BFeeding the older kids sounds like it is satisfying for the mom-sick. I'm praying those kids do not ever have friends over because their school/ social lives will be ruined.
Can you see it, "Guess what? I went over to Jane/John Doe's house and they were sucking their mom's ninnies!" Everyone' "EWWWW, Yuck, BWAHHHH."
Of course, she probably unschools.

 

[rie'smom]

Perhaps the family can join together in a rousing chorus of "Do Your Bewbs Hang Low?" while she does it?

I bet, after all that service, she sure can tie 'em in a bow.

You even made EEyore laugh with that one:

She can probably "throw them over her shoulder like a Contiental soldier" too!

 

[Aristocath]

This is one of the most horrifying and hilarious threads I have ever read on the DIS.

To the OP, I stand by the my house/my rules practice. I know you don't want to cause a fuss but it obviously disturbs most people to see it and I think you have to look out for all your guests.

 

[J3nn78]

I am 100% pro breastfeeding and pro child led weaning, so I have nothing against the 6 and 8 year old nursing.

But, if I were you, I would just be honest with her. Tell her, that although you do not have a problem with her nursing the older 2 children, you would prefer that she do it in private (in a nice space set up by you), so as to make sure all guests are comfortable since nursing older children is outside the norm.

Any reasonable person should not have a problem with that and be able to understand. It would be wrong however, IMO, to ask her to leave when nursing the younger two. Other people need to be considerate of nursing mothers. It is natural and should not be looked upon with shame.

 

[BELLE1109]

this is definitely the most horrifying tread on the Dis right now!!
the woman sounds like a nut! her children are in grade school and breast feeding tell me she does not volunteer to be a lunch monitor

If she chooses to make this her 'cause' and ruin any chance her kids have at normal socialization, her prerogative- you do not have to let it happen in your house and gross our your kids (and you!!)

 

[RainbowBrite]

I am 100% pro breastfeeding and pro child led weaning, so I have nothing against the 6 and 8 year old nursing.

But, if I were you, I would just be honest with her. Tell her, that although you do not have a problem with her nursing the older 2 children, you would prefer that she do it in private (in a nice space set up by you), so as to make sure all guests are comfortable since nursing older children is outside the norm.

Any reasonable person should not have a problem with that and be able to understand. It would be wrong however, IMO, to ask her to leave when nursing the younger two. Other people need to be considerate of nursing mothers. It is natural and should not be looked upon with shame.

It is not natural to breastfeed an 8 year old.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I am 100% pro breastfeeding and pro child led weaning, so I have nothing against the 6 and 8 year old nursing.But, if I were you, I would just be honest with her. Tell her, that although you do not have a problem with her nursing the older 2 children, you would prefer that she do it in private (in a nice space set up by you), so as to make sure all guests are comfortable since nursing older children is outside the norm.

Any reasonable person should not have a problem with that and be able to understand. It would be wrong however, IMO, to ask her to leave when nursing the younger two. Other people need to be considerate of nursing mothers. It is natural and should not be looked upon with shame.

Really? A third grader? Even when there isn't really any milk at that point? Even if there was milk at that point? Really?

 

[Planogirl]

I think that breastfeeding older kids like that has to be all about the mother. There is absolutely no reason for children needing to or normally even wanting to breastfeed at those ages.

OP, stand your ground and let us know. Wow, people amaze me in all of their glorious weirdness.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

It is not natural to breastfeed an 8 year old.

Exactly.

 

[J3nn78]

It is not natural to breastfeed an 8 year old.

I never said it was. I don't see anything wrong with it myself (just outside the norm), but in my post I said it was natural when referring to nursing the younger two.