ODD..anyone familiar with this?

[BrerMom]

I remember when our friend's son was diagnosed with ODD in middle school. He had been diagnosed with ADHD several years earlier. Her gut reaction to me was, "ODD? I've never heard of it. (She's a nurse.) It seems to mean that he wants the opposite of whatever we want just because it's fun to disagree. That doesn't help me at all! We knew that!" It was not easy for them at all, but he's in college now and well on his way to being one of the many success stories.

I agree with the other advice given: have clear boundaries, clear expectations, consequences that are natural as much as possible, and pick your battles carefully for there will be many that you have to fight. FWIW, this kid was also brilliant; he tested out of advanced classes.

 

[sl_underwood]

I agree with PP who said to get a full workup with a good psychologist. My oldest was diagnosed OCD, ODD, PTSD, and RAD when we got her. She was and still is obsessed with order and as long as we maintain order she is fine. She thrives on schedules and has to know the rules. She needs strict guidlines with no wiggle room and above all, we must create a united front and always follow through. My youngest child has PTSD, RAD, ADHD, SID and ASD. He often times appears to be ODD but its really ASD. He needs lots of positive reinforcement, the consequences must fit the crime or he doesnt seem to connect the bad behavior with the discipline. Contact a good child psychologist and have him tested. An accurate diagnosis will take time, dont rush, while you are waiting, read and educate yourself, if you arent already, work on setting proper boundaries, creating a united front so your child cant use the divide and conquer method (dd was especially good at this one) find a support group for parents of children with behavioral issues. And remember, there are lots of us out there. We are here to offer experience and support.

 

[rie'smom]

Our 24 year old son was diagnosed ODD when he was 12. His teen years were inmitigated hell for us. I'm happy to say that he went to therapy a few years ago and he's been a dream ever since.
The BIG thing with ODD kids is they HAVE to be open to therapy. When he was first diagnosed, we brought him to therapy and for 6 monthe all he did was sit in the therapists office. He never said a word, so we stopped bringing him. He finally asked us to set up an appointment when he was 19.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, that tunnel can be mighty darn long.

 

[princessmom29]

As I high school teacher I deal with ODD, ADHD, ADD, and ashberger's regularly. Please know that it is more common than you think and you are not alone. I agree with earlier posters about getting a full workup on your child, but physical and psychological, but i just don't know about the corn syrup connection. I was a biochemist before I began teaching and from a biochemical prospective it just does not make sense. High fructose corn surup is just what it says, concentrated sugar made from corn. If you child has no problem consuming other sugars and is not allergic to corn in any way this should effect his/her disorder. Some children do have increased hyperactivity symptoms after consuming sugar, but that should be true of all sugars not just corn surup. Your body metabolizes all sugars using the same biochemical processes, so the source of the sugar should not matter unless you are allergic to something else in the plant it is coming from. If this is the case then all products from this plant should cause some kind of adverse effect.

 

[grlpwrd]

For a time I thought my 9yo had ODD. I was referred to this website: www.conductdisorders.com Then I had her evaluated.

With her it was diet and sleep. I needed to refine her diet more and she needed more rest.

GL!

 

[Lorix2]

Thank you so much for responding. We've been having serious issues for about a year now. We've had appointments with a pediatric psychologist who chalks it up to "this is normal and kids can be defiant". That I understand......I was a preschool teacher and feel like I have seen it all........but not this. It's hard for me to talk about because, well it just hurts. I find us not going out to restaurants anymore, out shopping and I avoid playdates at all cost simply because of the behavior. His preschool has been WONDERFUL with trying to help us find a solution to the behavior. It wasn't until yesterday when I picked him up that his teacher had asked me if I had heard of ODD. I had never heard of it........I looked it up and it is SO my son. Every single symptom. I'm going to call his pediatrician and hopefully FINALLY after a year of no progress go down another route. I am so sad and just don't know what to do.
We just got back last week from Disneyland and it was a rough trip. Not the trip I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong..there were great moments. But also I was in silent tears for a lot of it. I almost postponed it because I was afraid this would happen.

You're welcome. I am very sorry to hear your trip was not as exciting as you hoped it would be. I am no stranger to silent tears and my throat hurting so bad from trying to stuff it down and not coming out as a loud whail.

I've had to lock my bedroom doors and take deep breaths to not pass out from the intense anger, when my chest would just sink in upon every breathe I drew because I was seething. I've had to leave work to come home to stop him from antagonizing my 16 y/o until my husband came home. They're alone for alone an hour a day. I had to come home early from a weekend away with my husband to relieve the family member he wasn't behaving for. I've had to endure looks of disgust while dealing with him, I've had a stranger tell me to get my hands off my kid, because what they didn't know is that my son jumped out of my car while we were battling at a stop light and when I got him I wasn't letting him go, nor was I being *gentle* about it getting him back in the car while people were gawking and beeping for me to move my car. I've had to apologize for him pushing his way past someone, letting the door go in their face, etc...but at the movie theater, he's great

He takes any small appliance, remote control, nail clippers, massagers, alarm clocks, radio control cars, or batter charged anything - apart. Most get put back together, most have to be thrown away in pieces. We've resorted to hiding things from him, but he always finds them. If he's interested, he'll be the greatest kid and he's extremely bright and will amaze us with his problem solving and great ideas - but if he doesn't want to do something, we brace ourselves for the fall out and my 16 y/o is really affected by this lately. It's never an easy day around here, I have learned to pick some battles and ignore others, but he is very challenging and trying for the sake of doing so - because he wants to. I won't even bother mentioning how it's affected our relationship with my SIL because of him.

He's been eval'd by the Special Ed teacher who finds him very capable. We're not done other testing yet, but I know we're headed for the ADD diagnosis once this is all done, I'm sure of it.

These kids are not easy to be around at times, but they are ours and because we love them, we perservere. The best thing we can do for them is get them the necessary help - though it took me too many years of thinking of many excuses as to why these behaviors were arising - these boards helped me realize that I am not a bad parent, I just have a child who needs professional help and that's ok. Many of us are have been there and we are here for you and everyone else when you need us.

 

[mannasn]

A friend of mine who is also a coworker has a child with ODD. My heart goes out to anyone who is dealing with a child suffering from this disorder, it really is heartbreaking to me to hear the stories she tells and the things she goes through.

She says she's known since he was 2-3 years old that something was just "wrong" with him. He had behavioral problems going back to very early elementary school.

 

[dsnymomadopt2china]

My now 13yr old was 2 1/2 when adopted and we were his 7th home. He has always been a angry young man. He was in therapy for a couple years, he was on a collection of meds, but they really didn't make much difference for him. So, we really worked on behavior modification and I had to be a "totally in your face" mother which is sooo not my personality. He totally respects my husband and his issues are primarily "mother" and female authority figure difficulties. The parenting with love and logic works pretty good on him..."feel free to...but, this will happen...." It is always someone else's fault, my husband is good at getting him to admit it is his fault. One thing that really helped him when he was 6 and at his worse, was getting a new little sister, he loved her so and she was really his saviour. That was the most pleasant surprise of my life!

 

[just2girls1]

Hang in there...I have a daughter 16 that has put me through things I would prefer to forget. Short story...many Dr's, diagnosises and meds later we seem to be on an even keal at the moment. I am however always on gaurd for the 'hammer' to drop.
One other thought...I also have a 10 yr old, there is a friend of hers that is a delight,now. However in Pre-K, kidnegarten this child was a different story. After testing, and different diagnosis and exhausting the parents, this child was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder that is a VERY serious issue. The school made arrangements for his learning issues and with a lot of fighting on his behalf by his parents with the school, this child is a very bright happy young man.
My point is as I said before HANG IN THERE. It is heart wrenching at times and we will be the mean Mom but we have to do it for our children.

 

[irishvixen]

Some how this thread makes me feel like I'm not going crazy. Seriously though, I have to lock my bedroom door whenever we leave. I don't feel safe around her at all. My 8 year old is scared as well and my husband leaves for a month at a time to work in Alaska. The worst thing of all is some of my not so great relatives that live over 9 hours away and only see my kids once a year or so don't see her the way we do, or the way our other family here does. I mean she has done some really bad things to our family and then lies so bad to the other family and pretends that it is all our fault and we are unfair and we are everything you can think of. Because she does'nt do drugs or is not pregnant or having se- my other family thinks she is not a bad kid but what they don't understand is that she has jumped out of the moving van because of something as simply as a song I would'nt turn that very moment, they don't understand or seem to care to hear the truth and that is the worst of all of this. They feel sorry for her because she lies so bad but my family including all three grama's on both sides and my father and everyone who live near know the truth. Its hard to get her help because when we had to go to court for her getting violent with me and my husband (she actually cut herself and said my husband did it and then told the police she did so they put her into a juvenile for a little time), the judge said that ODD was not a life threat so we should be able to control her, yet she can legally move out at 17 which she is but we are still responsible until she is 18. Now I do not want her to move out ever, well until she graduates, I know she could not handle that. She is and always will be my daughter but I have to stick up for my other daughter too. I hope you guys don't mind my spelling errors, I know I have many. It just feels really good to let this out and I'm so happy the OP mentioned this.