Obituary asking for money....for GRANDKIDS UPDATE POST 148

[zoo2tycoon]

A reply in another thread made me think of this I saw a few months back.

I understand asking for assistance in final expenses, etc in obituaries.

BUT this one I was new to me. The person who passed was a speech therapist in schools (I had him years ago). He was a great person! A dear friend of mine knows his DIL and son very well. The son is a principal at a school and daughter-in-law works outside the home teaching dance.

So he passes from and in the obituary it asked for money for his grandchildren's education.

Is this the new normal?????

 

[holycow]

Wow, so was it his wife that put it in or the children?

 

[zoo2tycoon]

Wow, so was it his wife that put it in or the children?

I have no clue....I thought it was tacky but to each their own. I know his kids are financially stable and have good jobs. Assume it was the wife. I thought it would be maybe for a scholarship in his name for the schools or donations to a foundation for the illness he passed from.

 

[jrmasm]

 

[goofinoff]

I can see if a parent leaves behind young children and the family wants to set up a fund but not for grandkids. The only exception would be if the deceased were raising a grandchild.

 

[Tuffcookie]

If he wanted to leave something to the grandchildren in his will, that would be one thing, but to ask for donations to the grandkids? Very tacky!

TC

 

[Sorsha]

We see it all the time in Obits around here. For example:

"In lieu of gifts or flowers, those wishing to make donations may do so to an educational account set up for Bob's grandchildren, Bobby and Susie, at Bank of XYZ."

Seems perfectly reasonable to me... I know my grandpa has educational accounts set up for each of my kids (his GREAT grandkids), and I can see him making this one of his final requests.

 

[AndreaDM]

I can see if a parent leaves behind young children and the family wants to set up a fund but not for grandkids. The only exception would be if the deceased were raising a grandchild.

I agree, I've seen this too where a young parent dies, and even then it's usually set up through the community with a trustee in place. The situation the OP posted about though is ridiculous!

 

[EMom]

Tacky, no matter how common it becomes.

 

[MrsDuck]

Tacky, no matter how common it becomes.

Yep.

It'd be a bit different if it was the parents of the children that died, IMO.

 

[Buckalew11]

I just wouldn't contribute to that.

 

[Bob NC]

Any decisions, good or bad, people make around the time of the death of a loved one get a pass from me.

Calling someone tacky in a situation like this is in my opinion, well....tacky.

 

[JessicaR]

I wouldn't donate to that cause. It reminds me of people that request cash in the invitation to a shower/wedding.

 

[Minnesota!]

We see it all the time in Obits around here. For example:

"In lieu of gifts or flowers, those wishing to make donations may do so to an educational account set up for Bob's grandchildren, Bobby and Susie, at Bank of XYZ."

Seems perfectly reasonable to me... I know my grandpa has educational accounts set up for each of my kids (his GREAT grandkids), and I can see him making this one of his final requests.

I see it all the time, too. Usually "A fund has been set up to help XXXXX...please donate at 123 Main Street Bank....". I have seen it for YEARS....never would strike me as weird or tacky.

How is it any different than "Memorials may be directed to American Cancer Society..."?

 

[luvmy3]

We see it all the time in Obits around here. For example:

"In lieu of gifts or flowers, those wishing to make donations may do so to an educational account set up for Bob's grandchildren, Bobby and Susie, at Bank of XYZ."

Seems perfectly reasonable to me... I know my grandpa has educational accounts set up for each of my kids (his GREAT grandkids), and I can see him making this one of his final requests.

My father has set up accounts for my kids' education, it is his gift for them. He would never ask others to fund it in the event of his death. Anyway you slice it, whether it was the deceased who wanted it, or the parent of the grandchildren, it's TACKY.

 

[jrmasm]

I wouldn't donate to that cause. It reminds me of people that request cash in the invitation to a shower/wedding.

Or 'register' for a honeymoon.

 

[U2_rocks!]

I see it all the time, too. Usually "A fund has been set up to help XXXXX...please donate at 123 Main Street Bank....". I have seen it for YEARS....never would strike me as weird or tacky.

How is it any different than "Memorials may be directed to American Cancer Society..."?

I see "in lieu of flowers" all the time, but it's always to a charity, quite often a charity that helps people with the disease that the person died from (Cancer Society, Heart & Stroke Foundation etc.). I have never seen it for "personal" gain (and by "personal" I am including the wider family).

 

[Sorsha]

I see "in lieu of flowers" all the time, but it's always to a charity, quite often a charity that helps people with the disease that the person died from (Cancer Society, Heart & Stroke Foundation etc.). I have never seen it for "personal" gain (and by "personal" I am including the wider family).

And we are all aware, right, that a rather large percentage of monies donated to a lot of charities is NEVER used for charity but rather for "administrative" costs? http://www.charitywatch.org/ Just be careful when donating.

Personally, if I am going to give money, I would rather I see it go to someone I know needs it, than into the coffers of a fatcat "head" of a charity foundation.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Beyond tacky...
IMHO, would be socially unacceptable and embarrassing.

I did happen to notice that many of the relatives were educators and/or affiliated with education in some way. Just sayin....

 

[Minnesota!]

And we are all aware, right, that a rather large percentage of monies donated to a lot of charities is NEVER used for charity but rather for "administrative" costs? http://www.charitywatch.org/ Just be careful when donating.

Personally, if I am going to give money, I would rather I see it go to someone I know needs it, than into the coffers of a fatcat "head" of a charity foundation.

American Cancer Society will never get another penny from me. I would MUCH rather give my money to the family...to be used however they see fit. They are the ones grieving...whatever helps them.