Five Ways Clinton Leads Obama
by Cameron Fredman
Mon Mar 24, 2008 at 09:39:37 PM PDT
[from the diaries - BarbinMD]
Over the weekend, Senator Evan Bayh suggested we measure the success of the candidates not by delegates earned, but by the electoral votes of the states theyve won. In the spirit of Senator Bayh, I present you with five additional metrics that I pulled out of my ***. As youll see, Hillary Clinton is either winning or tied with Obama in every case.
I should say at the outset that this study is highly scientific and my methods are rigorous. Except where otherwise noted, the data for this study is available here. I have excluded American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, and Democrats voting abroad, because their inclusion would be un-American. Similarly, I have excluded the District of Columbia, which isnt even a state.
Total number of "yellow" states on Wikipedias map of the United States
CLINTON: 5
OBAMA: 4
By Barack Obamas own admission, at the conclusion of his Iowa address, he noted, "we are not a collection of red states and blue states." He failed, however, to specifically identify the colors that should be assigned to the states. If anyone is to resolve this question, it is Wikipedia, the repository of all human knowledge, which makes clear that we are a nation of green, yellow, red, and pink states. Its important of course that this study be conducted in a fair and nonarbitrary fashion, so I determined the color metric (yellow) by eliminating the states least frequently associated with submarines in Beatles songs. This yields a slight advantage to Hillary Clinton, 5 to 4.
Total number of Commonwealths
CLINTON: 1 (Massachusetts)
OBAMA: 1 (Virginia)
Here the race is neck and neck, but Clinton is expected to take Pennsylvania. As there are only four commonwealths total, it is virtually impossible for Obama to beat Clinton on the Commonwealth count. If Clinton beats Obama in Kentucky, his claim that he has won more states will be canceled out by her claim that she has won more Commonwealths.
Total number of "New" States
CLINTON: 4
OBAMA:0
Hilllary Clinton has won New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, and New York. By contrast, Obama has failed to win a single state with the word "New" in its name. Obamas failure among self-proclaimed new states, raises serious questions about his supposed strength among young voters (new people) and his supposed message of change (new policies).
Average Highest Elevation
CLINTON: 6135 Feet
OBAMA: 6097 Feet
Frankly, Im surprised that more attention hasnt been drawn to this. Obama claims to want to elevate the level of discourse, but he has failed in states with the highest elevations. Clinton has won on Mount Whitney (California), Humphreys Peak (Arizona), Boundary Peak (Nevada), and Wheeler Peak (New Mexico). Perhaps more significantly, there are so few peaks left that despite the close margins, Obama has no hope of regaining the altitude vote. Clinton also leads among states with the highest average mean elevation: (Clinton: 1908.8 feet Obama: 1457.7 feet).
Average Official State Mixed Drink
CLINTON: Wine, Milk, Coffee, Cranberry Juice, Orange Juice, Tomato Juice
OBAMA: Kool-Aid, Beer, Conecuh Ridge Whiskey, Milk, Moxie, South Carolina Grown Tea
Its a close call, but on balance, Clinton has the better tasting official state mixed drink. Heres how this is tabulated: Most states have an official state beverage (Wikipedia State Beverage List). Using equal parts of each state beverage from each state that each candidate won, I was able to produce two mixed drinks. I dont want to go into the judging details except to say that Obamas combination of Whiskey and Kool-Aid left me questioning whether his coalition of voters can hold together beyond the late night taco bell run.
Conclusion
Its clear that the time has come for Obama to drop out of the race. By almost any measure imaginable (excluding delegates, popular vote, primaries, or caucuses), Clinton is leading.
Now excuse me while I have a glass of pinot grigio followed by my latte.
typical, even predictable...
old (ack, I hate saying that) fairly light-complected woman. I think their meter is cracked. 
Seriously?
Oh, and I'm also former military, so I guess in reality I'm "supposed" to be a Republican, huh? 
). I've got a buddy that comes down from PA for all the WVU football games, and he knows that if he doesn't bring some Yuengling with him, he's not welcome at my tailgate. 
I was one very happy camper that particular day. 
