Sherry E
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All right - it’s finally here! The end of this Trip Report! Time to sing "Joy to the World"!
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne!
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne!
In the previous installment of this Trip Report, I fought against a budding illness to eat breakfast at Goofy's Kitchen with three DIS'ers - Laurie/DizNee Luver (who kindly and generously treated me), Molly/bumbershoot and Liza/funatdisney - for the purpose of ending the trip on a high note, and the whole convoluted holiday odyssey finally came to a conclusion...which was both a sad and merciful conclusion.
Okay...so you've all been wondering what happened in the wake of this most eventful - and not necessarily in a good way - Disneyland holiday visit of 2011, right? Specifically, you want to know what happened with "M" and what kind of terms we are on right now. Well, I'll tell you...bear with me. We're getting there!
As you know, what I thought was an emerging December head cold turned into a weird 2½ month-long illness that had me falling over in the shower, falling over on the sidewalk on Christmas Day (on the way back from the grocery store) and just not feeling right, so I was not well and not myself for quite a while after the DLR trip was over. I was certainly not in any frame of mind to confront "M" online and ask her why she behaved the way she did. I didn't have the energy for it, and I did not want to stress myself out.
To be honest, even if I had not been sick I'm not sure I would have said anything to "M." I just kind of realized that, even though people grow older and their lives can dramatically change, and they can move far away, some things will always stay the same. Some people stay the same. The specific conflicts with "M" may not be exactly the same as the conflicts I used to have with her in the old days, but there are still conflicts...and that's not a good thing. I think the same basic issues are at the root of all the conflicts, whether they happened in 1981, 1991, 2001 or 2011.
As I age, conflict is something I want less and less of. Life is hard enough without having toxic people around to bring stress, drama and frustration into the mix, and I have way too many other major things to be concerned with at the moment to waste time on a 'friend' (to use that term loosely) who seems to mainly cause me grief.
From what I deduced on Facebook (because information and photos appear right there on our News Feeds, as those of you with Facebook accounts know), "M" was with "V" in the parks all day and night on Wednesday (after they marched past me as I sat on the bench). Then, on Thursday, "M" apparently met up with a new group of friends she made (girls who came in from all over the planet) and spent the day at DLR with them. The friend of "M's" that she wanted to bring to my PPH room ended up staying in "M's" crowded Disneyland Hotel room.
(By the way, unless it was an emergency, would you want to do that - stay in the room of a girl you just met, with her father, husband and young son in the room too? Isn't that a little unusual? To me it’s odd. Heck, I know "M's" family and I wouldn't want to stay in a room with all of them. Why would a stranger want to do that? Odd...)
Then, "M" was also with this same group of girls on Friday, and on Saturday - at Sea World! Apparently "M" and company, and "M's" new friends, all drove down to San Diego to visit Sea World. So she was actually with all of these other friends - "V" and the new girls - much longer than she was with me. The irony is that I, more than anyone, wanted to be the one to show "M" around the parks, and I am the one who used to be "M's" biggest Disneyland buddy. Funny how that worked out.
Periodically I would sign on to Facebook. I did a whole Countdown to Christmas (with photos I've already shown you) in the 12 or 13 days leading up to December 25th. "M" was silent and did not interact with me. When I saw her post assorted status updates, I ignored them. I thought they were stupid. I didn't comment on them or 'like' them or anything. I did make sure to drop a couple of comments in passing (when I was interacting with other people on my Facebook page) about crying on a bench in California Adventure so that "M" would see it and know that I was referring to her nonsense.
I am guessing that "M" figured I was furious with her, and since she is so adept at avoidance (as you have all gathered and pointed out by now), she avoided confronting me. If she had actually written me and asked if/why I was upset with her, I very well may have told her exactly what was on my mind.
But she didn't. "M" didn't write me because, let's face it, she knew precisely why I was upset. There was no mystery about it. It's not as if she had no clue I was upset with her. She didn't want to discuss it with me because she didn't want to deal with it. By avoiding the conflict (conflict that she created), she could pretend she did nothing wrong and stay in denial, so she didn't have to take responsibility.
And I was not going to contact "M" either. There was just no point in it. This was not my first rodeo as far as dealing with her. Even though I hadn't seen her in 10 years prior to this Disneyland fiasco, I knew that it would serve absolutely no purpose and do no good to try to communicate with her. Been there, done that. It wouldn't solve the problem. It wasn't as if "M" was going to suddenly have an epiphany and realize something about herself that she hadn't realized 10 or 20 or 30 years ago.
Rather, I was going to have to be the one to take the high road and handle things differently than I would have handled them in the past. I was going to have to be the mature one. To do that I would have to just drop the whole issue and not even mention it to "M."
So I continued on my merry way of ignoring "M" on Facebook for quite a while. Every now and then she would 'like' something I posted and I would ignore that too.
But then I remembered "S" - "M's" father - who had been the only one to acknowledge me as they all passed me by in DCA...who had bought me a churro in Tomorrowland...who had been sitting out on Main Street by himself while "M" and "R" shopped...who had kindly shown up for my VIP Christmas Fantasy Parade seats even though he wanted nothing to do with anything Christmas-related...who had parked off to the side in Build-A-Bear where he couldn't really get a good look at his grandson putting together a new furry dinosaur friend. "S" is not in good health, and you never know what could happen. I knew he would want to see all the photos I took, and the PhotoPass photos I edited.
So, solely for "S," because he actually showed me some kindness, I posted the DLR photos on Facebook and tagged "M" in them so they would appear on her Facebook page and S would be able to see them. When I did this, "M" must have taken it as a sign that I was extending an olive branch and trying to be chummy again. She started commenting on and 'liking' the photos. I made sure to let her know that I was posting the photos for her dad. She said he loved them.
Oh, and my PhotoPass photos were apparently much more creative than "M's." I did more with them to create different versions of the photos.
An interesting thing that I observed is that my friends - Shawn, Jackie and others who know "M" - were not interacting with "M," either, at least not out in the open on Facebook. Maybe they were chatting with her behind the scenes but no one was 'liking' anything she posted or commenting in any way. I wasn't sure if this was happening in support of me, or if everyone was so disgusted with "M" for her treatment of me that they didn't want to interact with her. All I knew was that our whole group of friends was totally silent as far as interacting with "M." Eventually it got to the point where I was feeling almost guilty in a way, because I hadn't asked for nor expected anyone to ignore "M." I am not a schoolyard bully and we're not kids I'm not going to rally a bunch of people to not talk to someone else.
It was all very strange I am certain that, at some point, "M" must have contacted Shawn or someone via private message, behind the scenes. However, no one told me if/when she did and what she said. No one told me that they were intentionally ignoring her or NOT intentionally ignoring her. I had no clue what was happening. All I knew was that I didn't want anyone else to think that I had somehow caused everyone to stop talking to "M."
To this day I still have no clue what that whole period of silence was about, and no one has 'fessed up to communicating with "M" in e-mails. I never brought any of it up. No one has told me what "M" has said, but I know she must have written them.
Sooner or later, one friend finally liked one of "M's" posts. Then another friend finally commented on something "M" posted. Then another one came out of hiding. And now, to be honest, Shawn and my other friends seem to 'like' and comment on a lot more of "M's" Facebook stuff than mine. Most of the time they don't acknowledge anything I post, but I am always seeing comments from them on "M's" stuff! The tables turned, and I began to realize that I liked it much better when they were all ignoring her! Lol.
The thing is, now that my friends have been interacting with "M" - and these are people who are all better friends with me than with her - my feelings have been a bit hurt because I think it sends the message to "M" that "it's okay to hurt Sherry; we still think you're funny and great."
I began to wonder, did anyone speak up in my defense? Did anyone contact "M" behind the scenes and tell her that what she did was messed up? Or did "M" just talk her way out of it (a.k.a. play dumb) and convince them all that she was telling the truth and that I was not? No one has said anything to me about it.
"M's" male cousin - the one who was livid at her and lashing out on Facebook in December - told "M" that her friends enable her bad behavior. He is totally right. I see it in the way my friends interact with her. They are chatting it up with her on Facebook as if she is a wonderful person who DIDN'T walk past me like a mean girl in high school in DCA! And that bothers me. I feel like everyone is pretending that it didn't happen - or like she somehow got to them and made them think that she did nothing wrong. I don't know that I necessarily want everyone to ignore "M" in such an obvious way, as they all seemed to do for a long time this year, but I guess I would just hope that they wouldn't go out of their way to interact with "M" when they know I can see it all on Facebook.
So, it's a weird dynamic. I usually dread signing on to Facebook nowadays because I know I will see that Shawn, Jackie or one of our group will have 'liked' or commented on some nonsense from "M." It hurts my feelings and makes me want to avoid Facebook. I guess it feels a little disloyal to me, because I am the sort of person who will speak up for my friend if someone hurts them - even if it is another friend who has hurt them. I have done it before. I wouldn't be chummy out in the open with someone who had hurt my friend. I kind of feel like it's insulting, in a way, even if my friends mean no harm by what they're doing.
Am I the only one who would feel this way? I am wondering if anyone else in my shoes would feel bad if their friends were acting overly chummy with someone who had treated them badly? Maybe I am just being overly sensitive and irrational.
Meanwhile, "M" and I pretty much ignore each other most of the time. Every so often she will say something or I will respond and we are civil, but it is really cold. And then I go back to ignoring her again for the next couple of months.
I've seen "M" make a couple of vague comments to other people about coming back out to L.A. and to Disneyland this year I guess in December, but who knows? I am sure as heck not going to ask "M" about it. I don't want to know. If she is coming out here again, I have nothing to do with it. I don't even want to know the dates she would be in town, because if I have my heart set on a particular date I want to go to DLR for whatever reason and then find out that "M" and family are supposed to be there too, I would end up staying home and not going for fear of running into them. I don't want to intentionally compromise my own plans because of "M." I'd rather not know when they were going to be there and then take my chances in the parks - there is a good possibility I would never run into them at all, even if they were there on the same day that I was. (I say that, of course, knowing full well that I simply sat down on a bench outside of A Bugs Land and ran into them! Lol.)
I don't know what will become of my friendship with "M."
Well, maybe that's the wrong choice of words.
I know that after years and years of conflict stemming from her questionable choices, and often times flat-out disregard and hurtful actions, I don't want to deal with that anymore. It's not that I'm mad, per se. I'm just over it. I don't want to dwell and stay mired in anger because it's not good for ME. But I don't want to keep having this problem with "M" by exposing myself to it repeatedly, either. I guess I am just past the point of caring enough to want to try to get through to someone who cannot be gotten through to.
Quite honestly, if not for the fact that my other friends all seem to have no problem interacting with her on Facebook, I probably would have unfriended (or is it defriended?) "M" by now. But it's kind of tough to cut someone from your friend list when your other friends are basically all sending the (non-verbal) message that "M" is cool, and that they like her. It's uncomfortable to try to avoid someone and cut them from your life when all of your good friends are still chummy with her.
Know what I mean? It’s the same type of situation with ex-boyfriends and ex-dates and people of that sort - it's always better to date outside of your circle of friends and outside of your workplace, if you can manage it. If you should happen to date someone in a group with whom you work or play, and then you break up with that person...well, it can get pretty awkward and uncomfortable for many people if that person you broke up with is now gallivanting around town with all of your friends and/or co-workers. It's better to make a clean break, and, thus, better to date people who don't know anyone else that you know.
By the way, speaking of which...I just learned in the last week that "M" became Facebook friends with one of my male friends. She sent the request to him, not vice versa. He never would have friended her, although he remembers her from the old Sunset Strip days of the 1980's (a.k.a. the Poison Years). It is curious timing, as "M" was just recently trying to tell me about someone from the old days, and I didn't care nor have any clue of what she was talking about. I told "M" that the only person I even keep in touch with from the old days - once in a blue moon - is this particular male friend.
Fast forward to now, and "M" has suddenly friended this friend of mine! He hasn't spoken to her. He accepted her request to be polite, and because she knows me. He even thought that I may have pointed her in his direction at first. I set him straight on that, of course. I told him that there was an incident in December and I am trying to kind of slowly drift away from the situation.
I have no clue what "M" is up to. If this were the old days, I would have assumed that "M" was engaging in her usual antics of trying to wedge herself into any friendship I formed with a male, just to divert the guy's attention away from me and onto her. She did that more times than I can count. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn't. She was always trying to somehow get guys to not pay attention to me - and it's not like they were beating down my door to begin with. I was no supermodel. I was lucky if someone paid any attention to me at all, and along would come "M" to try and mess it up for me. (You can imagine my smug satisfaction at being able to go to Disneyland with Bret M. and company back in 1986 - on a day when "M" had to work and couldn't go! Muahahahahahahahahaha!)
But now? "M" is happily married to "B," so she has no reason to be wedging herself into any friendship I have with any male. Therefore, I am not sure what motivated her to friend this particular guy on Facebook, and I am not sure I want to know - but it had better not have anything to do with me! I just wish I had a few solid, good, trustworthy friends who are in no way wrapped up with "M"!!! I need to have a total "M"-free zone!
("M" has been conspicuously silent and not mentioned that she friended this person, by the way.)
Anyway, so that's a bit of what has been going on ever since December..."M" and I ignoring each other for a while, then being civil and polite but not chummy, then back to ignoring each other, while my other friends all seem to be tied up with "M" in some way...and no one is talking to me about what "M" may have said to them behind the scenes, or why they are all of a sudden so nice to her when they were ignoring her for a long time early this year. Meanwhile, NOBODY is bringing up what happened in December except for yours truly. I will occasionally remind Shawn or another friend of the December mess and say that I am done with hanging out with "M." My friends do not respond to what I say. They ignore it.
Back to the Disneyland fiasco of December...what are my final thoughts on the issue? Well, I've given it a lot of thought and I am tired of thinking about it. I have taken everything into consideration. I know that "M" was probably overwhelmed with many family members and friends jockeying for her time when she and the family were in town last year. I know that she was probably torn about who to see on which days. I know that she probably had the plans with "V" all along and just didn't want to tell me. I know that the whole trip was probably a lot to deal with for "M," as it had been so long since she was last in Disneyland and this was her first trip with "R." I know that "M" got caught up in wanting to impress these new friends she made, and wanted to spend as much time with them as possible. I know that "M" probably sees nothing wrong in how she treated me, and if she had any doubts for even a moment, I'm sure she got "B" to back her up and tell her she did nothing wrong.
That's the other thing - I know that some of what "M" was doing was based on her own wants/needs, but she would pass it off as something that "B" or "R" wanted. It was hard to figure out that whole dynamic and determine which things were actually happening because of "M" and which things were happening because of "B's" influence over "M". How much of what went on was really because of "B" pulling rank, and how much of it was really all because of "M?" All I know is that I'm not "B's" daughter or wife, and I did not have to follow any rules he set forth. They should have taken me into consideration.
I don't think that "B" would have wanted "M" to treat me to Goofy's Kitchen, so I'm not sure if she stiffed me on her offer to treat because of "B" directly vetoing it, or because she just got worried that he would say no and so she didn't bring it up to him. Either way, she could have handled it better. There's no reason for things to have transpired in quite the way they did at the Goofy's Kitchen register!
Overall, I don't know how much of The Problem ("M's" apparent irresponsibility and lack of consideration) is solely HER, and how much of it is "B." "M" has always done things like this, in different scenarios and surroundings, of course, so I have to believe that her existing 'stuff' is at the core of the issue above all else.
I think that some people can successfully evolve over time and mature, and certain things they did when they were younger are things they would never conceive of doing today. Other people just don't have a lot of personal insight or self-awareness, and they just can’t bear to be accountable...so they play dumb or ignorant, or they feign forgetfulness and somehow always get off the hook for their bad behavior. This is why there is no point in trying to hash things out with "M." It won’t get us anywhere, and I just don't care at this point. As the saying goes, it is what it is.
I'm sure I could have said or done things differently during the December trip so as not to contribute in any way to the madness, but at the end of the day I was the one who was left hurt and stood up by my friend, while she was off romping around the parks with all of her friends, not caring how bad she made me feel and not caring that she blew me off for the parade and for hanging out without the menfolk, etc. She just didn't care, as long as she got to do what she wanted to do. That's the bottom line, really.
I don't know if "M" and I will continue to remain civil and polite on Facebook, or if we will ultimately just ignore each other indefinitely. I don't know if my other friends will get together with "M" when/if she comes into town in December (or whenever it is). I know one thing for sure - I won’t be going to Disneyland with her. Those days are over. Even if she had treated me to Goofy's Kitchen; even if she hadn't stood me up for the parade; even if she had gotten up earlier in the morning, etc., etc., it still would have been a huge pain because of the stopping and starting and shopping, etc. It still would have been all about them and their family dynamic, without a thought about me. I was apparently just a guest tagging along on [U}their[/U] trip to Disneyland!
It's sad to kind of come to the realization that a particular person in your life - someone you have known for over 30 years and with whom you have shared a lot of experiences - is going to always cause you stress, no matter how much time passes, and that you will always clash in some way, but sometimes that is just how it has to be.
So I think it's safe to say that we can bid farewell to fun times like these:
This has been one of the hardest sections of this Post-Trip Update to complete, because I keep changing it as things evolve (or devolve) from day to day!
What is to come? What tricks do I have up my sleeve? What plans do I have in the works? What happens now that Halloween Time at Disneyland is upon us, Fall is settling in and Christmas time is but a whisper away?
Well, first of all...I can look forward to a brand new Hallmark Channel Christmas movie marathon beginning next month (it starts on Saturday, November 3rd, to be exact, and then continues every weekend henceforth - all the way through New Year's Eve, I would imagine)!! These are not the classic holiday movies known to generations worldwide - those will appear on other channels. Instead, the movies on Hallmark are generally Hallmark-produced movies or movies that aired on the Lifetime Network at one point or another, and they often involve romance. There is always some disenchanted Scrooge-like female who dislikes Christmas, and she is inevitably overcome with Christmas magic and ends up falling in love with a dude who is in the spirit of the season. Or, by some twist of fate, a business woman ends up traveling back in time (or forward in time) to prevent something or other from happening, and ends up falling in love. Or, a struggling family experiences a little bit of Christmas magic from Santa.
These (2-month long) Hallmark Christmas movie marathons are great because they are so hokey on the one hand, and yet they are strangely comforting to have on TV in the background, as I'm doing other things. They are all basically feel good movies.
I can also hope to stumble upon a random Rankin-Bass marathon or two on ABC Family throughout the holidays, while catching the Rankin-Bass biggies (such as "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" and "Frosty the Snowman" on a major network such as CBS or ABC). I love me some clay puppet TV shows!! I think my alter ego is Mr. Snow Miser!
I can expect to see Charlie Brown's sad little Christmas tree in the "Peanuts" holiday special and sit with Linus in the Pumpkin patch, waiting for the Great Pumpkin.
I can look forward to some of my favorite, more contemporary, holiday movies popping up on TV here and there - "Love Actually" and "Elf," for example (both gems!) - as well as classics such as "It's a Wonderful Life" and any number of "A Christmas Carol" variations.
I will eagerly await some of the wonderful 'Christmas lights' specials that run on either Travel Channel or TLC each year, and will thoroughly soak up all the Halloween TV specials that are happening this month.
I will once again visit The Grove (near to where I live) and soak in some holiday spirit. Maybe I will even be there to catch some of their man-made snowfall.
I will continue to stalk my neighborhood, taking photos of random flowers and other interesting things, and chances are that I will probably use those photos in more photo calendars that I intend to make for 2013, or for other projects...I will never stop taking pictures - I love it too much.
If Catalina Express is once again offering a free round-trip boat ride on birthdays beyond April 2013, then I will most likely head to Avalon in July for another round of rampant picture-taking and bad golf cart-driving...
But what about Disneyland trips? Am I planning anything?
Well, here's the thing. all along I assumed that I would make it to DLR for Halloween Time this year, despite increasing signs that the décor has been scaled back. The season lasts from September 14 October 31st, so I figured I would have a lot of time to figure out how and when I am getting there. Now the time is passing very quickly.
I just participated in a Halloween Time-themed podcast with the DIS Unplugged team a couple of weeks ago, as you may recall, and I need to stay up-to-speed on the season for my "Halloween at DLR Superthread":
But...I am encountering one problem after another trying to get down to DLR for Halloween Time.
Liza/funatdisney - who was with me last year for the first day of Halloween Time and for Mickey's Halloween Party - seems to be too busy to go with me again this year, or is not interested or whatever.
Then there is Ros - remember Ros from my day trip to DLR in November 2010 (if you don't, you can find the link to that report on Page 1 of this thread)? She offered to come and pick me up to go to DLR for Halloween Time...but she just did a Halloween trip and went to the MHP with Mary Jo a few nights ago. So I guess that plan is out!
Jackie has offered to let me stay overnight at her house (about 15-20 minutes from DLR), which is very kind of her to do, but it would only work if I were going to be at DLR on a day/night when she could have me as a guest, and could drive me home or pick me up or whatever. If I go to the MHP, that won't work with her schedule.
I've asked Shawn several times if she is interested in going to the MHP, but she has been sick and is still recovering.
Today, the Mickey's Halloween Party page says that all of the MHP nights are sold out except for Friday, October 26, Monday, October 29 and Wednesday, October 31. And I suspect that October 31st will be selling out very soon.
So, basically, I waited too long - and the parties are selling out faster than they did last year - and I am now in the position of being left with a choice of only 2 or 3 specific nights for the MHP, none of which include the AP/pre-purchase discount. All of the discounted nights are sold out.
I began to think it all through. I have said for a while that, eventually I would like to make a trip to Disneyland on Halloween, which I've never done. Would the parks seem more Halloween-ish on Halloween? I think that people trick or treat at the hotels, and I think that there may be a photo spot in the GCH on Halloween. But would the party be more fun? Would the atmosphere be any different on the actual holiday?
I would be willing to go = to make this year the year that I do an actual Halloween day/night trip. My current AP is now all paid off, and I have a little while to decide on whether or not I am renewing the AP right away. I would have to buy an MHP ticket. And I'd have to get down to Anaheim and back, which is proving to be difficult.
On top of all of that, I'd be doing the MHP solo! How sad would that be, collecting candy all by myself?!
If I am not mistaken, I think I am going to be invited back to do another podcast about the holiday season with the Unplugged team, so being at DLR on opening day or on opening weekend of the season is crucial, for the sake of staying up to date for the podcast discussion, as well as for making note of any of the new decorations for my "Disneyland at Christmas/Holiday Season Superthread"
And then I got to thinking a little more, which brought an ambitious idea to mind. What if I could do a trio of holidays? What if I could head to DLR on Halloween, on Thanksgiving and on Christmas? I don't have any other obligations or plans for those days. I'm all by myself. Why not?
Better yet, what if I could do a 'Year of Holidays,' and hit DLR on all the fun holidays such as Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, July 4th, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's, with maybe an extra day like Mardi Gras or Cinco de Mayo thrown in?
Transportation issues aside, I would have to renew my AP in order to pull any of this off. Between the increased payment prices for the AP and paying whatever would be necessary to get from my neighborhood to Anaheim and back on all of these days, I don't see how it would be possible in my current financial circumstances.
I'm sure I could not pull off the full 'Year of Holidays' idea yet (though that would make a great idea for a blog series and photo project). I don't even think I could pull off a Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas trifecta at this point. I would love to - I am not getting any younger and while my schedule is what it is (which means I'm not working), now seems to be the best time to do it. But it's just too hard to get down to DLR and back even one time, let alone 10 or 12 times.
So...sadly, I have reached a dead end. I have thought and thought and pondered and tried to strategize, and I just don't see how I could pull off my 'Year of Holidays' idea, or the Holiday Trifecta idea.
At this rate, I'm not even sure if I'll be going to the Halloween Party or seeing DLR for Halloween Time because it's getting too close to the first day of the holiday season, and that is my main focus.
...Too much to think about...too many problems to solve...no real solutions jumping out at me. I feel trapped and in limbo.
So that's where my actual plans are for Halloween Time - up in the air - and beyond October 31st. And that's what my ambitious idea is - the Year of Holidays - but I doubt I'll be able to make it happen, though it saddens me to say that.
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy New Year.
Glad tidings we bring
To you and your kin;
Glad tidings for Christmas
And a happy New Year!
On Page 1, Post #1 of this TR, I have posted links to the pages on which many of my TR's begin. I also have included links to a few of my more recent or more relevant TR's in my signature below (such as my "CARS LAND MANIA" June 2012 TR and my "Return of the Masked Mouse..." TR for Halloween Time 2011),
I mentioned it early on in this "Aunt Betty..." TR, but I will suggest again that you check out my Trip Report entitled, "The Evil Chair & The Peppermint Cone of Death - A 2010 Christmas Tale - Sun., December 12 - Wed., 15, 2010," which starts on Page 83/Post #1244 (ends on Page 110/Post #1641).
There are lots and lots of photos in that epic. I took something like 1600 photos, but used the most decent ones of the bunch (or the semi-decent ones). Plus, I had a run-in with an ice cream cone, a curb, a camera and a trash can that should not be missed (but should be avoided on future trips)!
I will also refer you to Laurie/DizNee Luver's December 2011 TR: "Hubby got a Camera & I got Christmas!!!" While she didn't have the encounters with "M" that I had (lucky her - she only got to meet "B" and "S"), she was part of my December 2011 trip, as you know, and her TR features many wonderful, lovely Christmas-y photos, and a different angle on the whole trip. In fact, she took more photos of the Paradise Pier Room than I did.
And then there is Molly/bumbershoot's December 2011 TR: "Happy happy happy!" As was the case with Laurie, Molly was there with us in December 2011, and while she didn't have the "M" experience, she put together a nice TR about her part of the adventure!!
If you would like to see photos from my action-packed Catalina Island day trip back in July, this is a very short TR thread (only about 4 pages, mostly containing pictures): "Catalina Island/Avalon - My Solo Day Trip, in Photos (LOTS of Photos!)- 7/21/12." I expect to be putting together a Catalina Superthread at some point soon, to help inform and encourage people traveling to SoCal for extended trips to try visiting Avalon as well.
I mentioned in the third segment of my Introduction & Background Information/Pre-Trip Report that I love all things Christmas, including the music - whether it's the well-known classics, the more spiritually-based songs or the upbeat, fun songs. I adore them all for the tone they set and the mood they create for me. I've quoted many holiday songs in this Trip Report, as well as one famous poem! Here is a list of the selections (in case some of them were unfamiliar to the readers), broken down by each TR installment:
Day 1, Part 1 - "(Have Yourself a) Merry Little Christmas"
Day 1, Part 2 - "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas"
Day 1, Part 3 - "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"
Day 1, Part 4 - "'Twas the Night Before Christmas"
Day 2, Part 1 - "Let it Snow"
Day 2, Part 2 - "Holly Jolly Christmas"
Day 2, Part 3 - "Sleigh Ride"
Day 2, Part 4 - "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree"
Day 2, Part 5 - "Angels We Have Heard on High"
Day 2, Part 6 - "Jingle Bell Rock"
Day 2, Part 7 - "The Christmas Song" (or "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)"
Day 2, Part 8 - "What Child is This?"
Day 3, Part 1 -"Winter Wonderland"
Day 3, Part 2 - "Deck the Halls"
Day 3, Part 3 - "White Christmas"
Day 3, Part 4 - "Frosty the Snowman"
Day 3, Part 5 - "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"
Day 3, Part 6 - "O Christmas Tree"
Day 3, Part 7 - "I'll Be Home for Christmas"
Day 3, Part 8 - "Carol of the Bells"
Day 4, Part 1 - "Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)"
Day 4, Part 2a - "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"
Day 4, Part 2b - "Blue Christmas"
Day 4, Part 2c - "Do They Know It's Christmas?"
Day 4, Part 2d - "Little Drummer Boy"
Day 4, Part 2e - "Silver Bells"
Day 4, Part 2f -"The First Noel"
Day 5, Part 1a - "O Holy Night"
Day 5, Part 1b - "Silent Night"
Day 5, Part 1c - "Jingle Bells"
Day 5, Part 1d - "Christmas Is All Around (from the movie, "Love Actually")
Day 5, Part 1e - "Feliz Navidad"
Day 5, Part 1f - "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"
The Aftermath, 1a - "Auld Lang Syne"
The Aftermath, 1b - "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
The Aftermath, 1c - "(Have Yourself a) Merry Little Christmas"
As I said in my previous and final TR installment from Day 5, this story has been a wild ride filled with: fun; merriment; holiday joy; frolicking in the chilly morning air; frustration; stress; anger; drama; suspense; laughter; tears; illness; old friendships falling apart & new friendships being formed; photo sprees; a possibly dangerous shuttle ride into the forest; an awesome Paradise Pier Hotel rate & view; crazy wind gusts; celebrity sightings; a Twilight Zone Lady; 2 Goofy's Kitchen meals; lukewarm spaghetti; peppermint ice cream & gingerbread cookies; zany PhotoPass antics; the revelation of 'Aunt Betty'; a covert nighttime Castle mission that never happened; an indecisive 4-year-old; a bit of wacky humor; and...lots and lots of Christmas songs, too!
Oh - and who could forget the dancing wombat and the flying hairy weasel butt?
I thank you all so, so much for hanging in there with me despite the numerous setbacks and delays. Thank you, too, for the many words of encouragement and support, for the compliments, for the kind sentiments about me and about my Trip Report, etc.
I hope you will join me again on my future, less depressing, Disneyland adventures, whether they are documented in this thread, in another thread...or somewhere else in cyberspace. Stay tuned!
Sing with me now, one last time...you all know the melody...
Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.
Through the years we all will be together
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now...
Aunt Betty's Weepy, Wacky, Wonderful
Christmas Trip to Disneyland
(12/4/11 - 12/8/11)
The Aftermath/Post-Trip Update
Christmas Trip to Disneyland
(12/4/11 - 12/8/11)
The Aftermath/Post-Trip Update
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne!
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne!
Where Are We Now?/Final Thoughts
In the previous installment of this Trip Report, I fought against a budding illness to eat breakfast at Goofy's Kitchen with three DIS'ers - Laurie/DizNee Luver (who kindly and generously treated me), Molly/bumbershoot and Liza/funatdisney - for the purpose of ending the trip on a high note, and the whole convoluted holiday odyssey finally came to a conclusion...which was both a sad and merciful conclusion.
Okay...so you've all been wondering what happened in the wake of this most eventful - and not necessarily in a good way - Disneyland holiday visit of 2011, right? Specifically, you want to know what happened with "M" and what kind of terms we are on right now. Well, I'll tell you...bear with me. We're getting there!
As you know, what I thought was an emerging December head cold turned into a weird 2½ month-long illness that had me falling over in the shower, falling over on the sidewalk on Christmas Day (on the way back from the grocery store) and just not feeling right, so I was not well and not myself for quite a while after the DLR trip was over. I was certainly not in any frame of mind to confront "M" online and ask her why she behaved the way she did. I didn't have the energy for it, and I did not want to stress myself out.
To be honest, even if I had not been sick I'm not sure I would have said anything to "M." I just kind of realized that, even though people grow older and their lives can dramatically change, and they can move far away, some things will always stay the same. Some people stay the same. The specific conflicts with "M" may not be exactly the same as the conflicts I used to have with her in the old days, but there are still conflicts...and that's not a good thing. I think the same basic issues are at the root of all the conflicts, whether they happened in 1981, 1991, 2001 or 2011.
As I age, conflict is something I want less and less of. Life is hard enough without having toxic people around to bring stress, drama and frustration into the mix, and I have way too many other major things to be concerned with at the moment to waste time on a 'friend' (to use that term loosely) who seems to mainly cause me grief.
From what I deduced on Facebook (because information and photos appear right there on our News Feeds, as those of you with Facebook accounts know), "M" was with "V" in the parks all day and night on Wednesday (after they marched past me as I sat on the bench). Then, on Thursday, "M" apparently met up with a new group of friends she made (girls who came in from all over the planet) and spent the day at DLR with them. The friend of "M's" that she wanted to bring to my PPH room ended up staying in "M's" crowded Disneyland Hotel room.
(By the way, unless it was an emergency, would you want to do that - stay in the room of a girl you just met, with her father, husband and young son in the room too? Isn't that a little unusual? To me it’s odd. Heck, I know "M's" family and I wouldn't want to stay in a room with all of them. Why would a stranger want to do that? Odd...)
Then, "M" was also with this same group of girls on Friday, and on Saturday - at Sea World! Apparently "M" and company, and "M's" new friends, all drove down to San Diego to visit Sea World. So she was actually with all of these other friends - "V" and the new girls - much longer than she was with me. The irony is that I, more than anyone, wanted to be the one to show "M" around the parks, and I am the one who used to be "M's" biggest Disneyland buddy. Funny how that worked out.
Periodically I would sign on to Facebook. I did a whole Countdown to Christmas (with photos I've already shown you) in the 12 or 13 days leading up to December 25th. "M" was silent and did not interact with me. When I saw her post assorted status updates, I ignored them. I thought they were stupid. I didn't comment on them or 'like' them or anything. I did make sure to drop a couple of comments in passing (when I was interacting with other people on my Facebook page) about crying on a bench in California Adventure so that "M" would see it and know that I was referring to her nonsense.
I am guessing that "M" figured I was furious with her, and since she is so adept at avoidance (as you have all gathered and pointed out by now), she avoided confronting me. If she had actually written me and asked if/why I was upset with her, I very well may have told her exactly what was on my mind.
But she didn't. "M" didn't write me because, let's face it, she knew precisely why I was upset. There was no mystery about it. It's not as if she had no clue I was upset with her. She didn't want to discuss it with me because she didn't want to deal with it. By avoiding the conflict (conflict that she created), she could pretend she did nothing wrong and stay in denial, so she didn't have to take responsibility.
And I was not going to contact "M" either. There was just no point in it. This was not my first rodeo as far as dealing with her. Even though I hadn't seen her in 10 years prior to this Disneyland fiasco, I knew that it would serve absolutely no purpose and do no good to try to communicate with her. Been there, done that. It wouldn't solve the problem. It wasn't as if "M" was going to suddenly have an epiphany and realize something about herself that she hadn't realized 10 or 20 or 30 years ago.
Rather, I was going to have to be the one to take the high road and handle things differently than I would have handled them in the past. I was going to have to be the mature one. To do that I would have to just drop the whole issue and not even mention it to "M."
So I continued on my merry way of ignoring "M" on Facebook for quite a while. Every now and then she would 'like' something I posted and I would ignore that too.
But then I remembered "S" - "M's" father - who had been the only one to acknowledge me as they all passed me by in DCA...who had bought me a churro in Tomorrowland...who had been sitting out on Main Street by himself while "M" and "R" shopped...who had kindly shown up for my VIP Christmas Fantasy Parade seats even though he wanted nothing to do with anything Christmas-related...who had parked off to the side in Build-A-Bear where he couldn't really get a good look at his grandson putting together a new furry dinosaur friend. "S" is not in good health, and you never know what could happen. I knew he would want to see all the photos I took, and the PhotoPass photos I edited.
So, solely for "S," because he actually showed me some kindness, I posted the DLR photos on Facebook and tagged "M" in them so they would appear on her Facebook page and S would be able to see them. When I did this, "M" must have taken it as a sign that I was extending an olive branch and trying to be chummy again. She started commenting on and 'liking' the photos. I made sure to let her know that I was posting the photos for her dad. She said he loved them.
Oh, and my PhotoPass photos were apparently much more creative than "M's." I did more with them to create different versions of the photos.
An interesting thing that I observed is that my friends - Shawn, Jackie and others who know "M" - were not interacting with "M," either, at least not out in the open on Facebook. Maybe they were chatting with her behind the scenes but no one was 'liking' anything she posted or commenting in any way. I wasn't sure if this was happening in support of me, or if everyone was so disgusted with "M" for her treatment of me that they didn't want to interact with her. All I knew was that our whole group of friends was totally silent as far as interacting with "M." Eventually it got to the point where I was feeling almost guilty in a way, because I hadn't asked for nor expected anyone to ignore "M." I am not a schoolyard bully and we're not kids I'm not going to rally a bunch of people to not talk to someone else.
It was all very strange I am certain that, at some point, "M" must have contacted Shawn or someone via private message, behind the scenes. However, no one told me if/when she did and what she said. No one told me that they were intentionally ignoring her or NOT intentionally ignoring her. I had no clue what was happening. All I knew was that I didn't want anyone else to think that I had somehow caused everyone to stop talking to "M."
To this day I still have no clue what that whole period of silence was about, and no one has 'fessed up to communicating with "M" in e-mails. I never brought any of it up. No one has told me what "M" has said, but I know she must have written them.
Sooner or later, one friend finally liked one of "M's" posts. Then another friend finally commented on something "M" posted. Then another one came out of hiding. And now, to be honest, Shawn and my other friends seem to 'like' and comment on a lot more of "M's" Facebook stuff than mine. Most of the time they don't acknowledge anything I post, but I am always seeing comments from them on "M's" stuff! The tables turned, and I began to realize that I liked it much better when they were all ignoring her! Lol.
The thing is, now that my friends have been interacting with "M" - and these are people who are all better friends with me than with her - my feelings have been a bit hurt because I think it sends the message to "M" that "it's okay to hurt Sherry; we still think you're funny and great."
I began to wonder, did anyone speak up in my defense? Did anyone contact "M" behind the scenes and tell her that what she did was messed up? Or did "M" just talk her way out of it (a.k.a. play dumb) and convince them all that she was telling the truth and that I was not? No one has said anything to me about it.
"M's" male cousin - the one who was livid at her and lashing out on Facebook in December - told "M" that her friends enable her bad behavior. He is totally right. I see it in the way my friends interact with her. They are chatting it up with her on Facebook as if she is a wonderful person who DIDN'T walk past me like a mean girl in high school in DCA! And that bothers me. I feel like everyone is pretending that it didn't happen - or like she somehow got to them and made them think that she did nothing wrong. I don't know that I necessarily want everyone to ignore "M" in such an obvious way, as they all seemed to do for a long time this year, but I guess I would just hope that they wouldn't go out of their way to interact with "M" when they know I can see it all on Facebook.
So, it's a weird dynamic. I usually dread signing on to Facebook nowadays because I know I will see that Shawn, Jackie or one of our group will have 'liked' or commented on some nonsense from "M." It hurts my feelings and makes me want to avoid Facebook. I guess it feels a little disloyal to me, because I am the sort of person who will speak up for my friend if someone hurts them - even if it is another friend who has hurt them. I have done it before. I wouldn't be chummy out in the open with someone who had hurt my friend. I kind of feel like it's insulting, in a way, even if my friends mean no harm by what they're doing.
Am I the only one who would feel this way? I am wondering if anyone else in my shoes would feel bad if their friends were acting overly chummy with someone who had treated them badly? Maybe I am just being overly sensitive and irrational.
Meanwhile, "M" and I pretty much ignore each other most of the time. Every so often she will say something or I will respond and we are civil, but it is really cold. And then I go back to ignoring her again for the next couple of months.
I've seen "M" make a couple of vague comments to other people about coming back out to L.A. and to Disneyland this year I guess in December, but who knows? I am sure as heck not going to ask "M" about it. I don't want to know. If she is coming out here again, I have nothing to do with it. I don't even want to know the dates she would be in town, because if I have my heart set on a particular date I want to go to DLR for whatever reason and then find out that "M" and family are supposed to be there too, I would end up staying home and not going for fear of running into them. I don't want to intentionally compromise my own plans because of "M." I'd rather not know when they were going to be there and then take my chances in the parks - there is a good possibility I would never run into them at all, even if they were there on the same day that I was. (I say that, of course, knowing full well that I simply sat down on a bench outside of A Bugs Land and ran into them! Lol.)
I don't know what will become of my friendship with "M."
Well, maybe that's the wrong choice of words.
I know that after years and years of conflict stemming from her questionable choices, and often times flat-out disregard and hurtful actions, I don't want to deal with that anymore. It's not that I'm mad, per se. I'm just over it. I don't want to dwell and stay mired in anger because it's not good for ME. But I don't want to keep having this problem with "M" by exposing myself to it repeatedly, either. I guess I am just past the point of caring enough to want to try to get through to someone who cannot be gotten through to.
Quite honestly, if not for the fact that my other friends all seem to have no problem interacting with her on Facebook, I probably would have unfriended (or is it defriended?) "M" by now. But it's kind of tough to cut someone from your friend list when your other friends are basically all sending the (non-verbal) message that "M" is cool, and that they like her. It's uncomfortable to try to avoid someone and cut them from your life when all of your good friends are still chummy with her.
Know what I mean? It’s the same type of situation with ex-boyfriends and ex-dates and people of that sort - it's always better to date outside of your circle of friends and outside of your workplace, if you can manage it. If you should happen to date someone in a group with whom you work or play, and then you break up with that person...well, it can get pretty awkward and uncomfortable for many people if that person you broke up with is now gallivanting around town with all of your friends and/or co-workers. It's better to make a clean break, and, thus, better to date people who don't know anyone else that you know.
By the way, speaking of which...I just learned in the last week that "M" became Facebook friends with one of my male friends. She sent the request to him, not vice versa. He never would have friended her, although he remembers her from the old Sunset Strip days of the 1980's (a.k.a. the Poison Years). It is curious timing, as "M" was just recently trying to tell me about someone from the old days, and I didn't care nor have any clue of what she was talking about. I told "M" that the only person I even keep in touch with from the old days - once in a blue moon - is this particular male friend.
Fast forward to now, and "M" has suddenly friended this friend of mine! He hasn't spoken to her. He accepted her request to be polite, and because she knows me. He even thought that I may have pointed her in his direction at first. I set him straight on that, of course. I told him that there was an incident in December and I am trying to kind of slowly drift away from the situation.
I have no clue what "M" is up to. If this were the old days, I would have assumed that "M" was engaging in her usual antics of trying to wedge herself into any friendship I formed with a male, just to divert the guy's attention away from me and onto her. She did that more times than I can count. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn't. She was always trying to somehow get guys to not pay attention to me - and it's not like they were beating down my door to begin with. I was no supermodel. I was lucky if someone paid any attention to me at all, and along would come "M" to try and mess it up for me. (You can imagine my smug satisfaction at being able to go to Disneyland with Bret M. and company back in 1986 - on a day when "M" had to work and couldn't go! Muahahahahahahahahaha!)
But now? "M" is happily married to "B," so she has no reason to be wedging herself into any friendship I have with any male. Therefore, I am not sure what motivated her to friend this particular guy on Facebook, and I am not sure I want to know - but it had better not have anything to do with me! I just wish I had a few solid, good, trustworthy friends who are in no way wrapped up with "M"!!! I need to have a total "M"-free zone!
("M" has been conspicuously silent and not mentioned that she friended this person, by the way.)
Anyway, so that's a bit of what has been going on ever since December..."M" and I ignoring each other for a while, then being civil and polite but not chummy, then back to ignoring each other, while my other friends all seem to be tied up with "M" in some way...and no one is talking to me about what "M" may have said to them behind the scenes, or why they are all of a sudden so nice to her when they were ignoring her for a long time early this year. Meanwhile, NOBODY is bringing up what happened in December except for yours truly. I will occasionally remind Shawn or another friend of the December mess and say that I am done with hanging out with "M." My friends do not respond to what I say. They ignore it.
Back to the Disneyland fiasco of December...what are my final thoughts on the issue? Well, I've given it a lot of thought and I am tired of thinking about it. I have taken everything into consideration. I know that "M" was probably overwhelmed with many family members and friends jockeying for her time when she and the family were in town last year. I know that she was probably torn about who to see on which days. I know that she probably had the plans with "V" all along and just didn't want to tell me. I know that the whole trip was probably a lot to deal with for "M," as it had been so long since she was last in Disneyland and this was her first trip with "R." I know that "M" got caught up in wanting to impress these new friends she made, and wanted to spend as much time with them as possible. I know that "M" probably sees nothing wrong in how she treated me, and if she had any doubts for even a moment, I'm sure she got "B" to back her up and tell her she did nothing wrong.
That's the other thing - I know that some of what "M" was doing was based on her own wants/needs, but she would pass it off as something that "B" or "R" wanted. It was hard to figure out that whole dynamic and determine which things were actually happening because of "M" and which things were happening because of "B's" influence over "M". How much of what went on was really because of "B" pulling rank, and how much of it was really all because of "M?" All I know is that I'm not "B's" daughter or wife, and I did not have to follow any rules he set forth. They should have taken me into consideration.
I don't think that "B" would have wanted "M" to treat me to Goofy's Kitchen, so I'm not sure if she stiffed me on her offer to treat because of "B" directly vetoing it, or because she just got worried that he would say no and so she didn't bring it up to him. Either way, she could have handled it better. There's no reason for things to have transpired in quite the way they did at the Goofy's Kitchen register!
Overall, I don't know how much of The Problem ("M's" apparent irresponsibility and lack of consideration) is solely HER, and how much of it is "B." "M" has always done things like this, in different scenarios and surroundings, of course, so I have to believe that her existing 'stuff' is at the core of the issue above all else.
I think that some people can successfully evolve over time and mature, and certain things they did when they were younger are things they would never conceive of doing today. Other people just don't have a lot of personal insight or self-awareness, and they just can’t bear to be accountable...so they play dumb or ignorant, or they feign forgetfulness and somehow always get off the hook for their bad behavior. This is why there is no point in trying to hash things out with "M." It won’t get us anywhere, and I just don't care at this point. As the saying goes, it is what it is.
I'm sure I could have said or done things differently during the December trip so as not to contribute in any way to the madness, but at the end of the day I was the one who was left hurt and stood up by my friend, while she was off romping around the parks with all of her friends, not caring how bad she made me feel and not caring that she blew me off for the parade and for hanging out without the menfolk, etc. She just didn't care, as long as she got to do what she wanted to do. That's the bottom line, really.
I don't know if "M" and I will continue to remain civil and polite on Facebook, or if we will ultimately just ignore each other indefinitely. I don't know if my other friends will get together with "M" when/if she comes into town in December (or whenever it is). I know one thing for sure - I won’t be going to Disneyland with her. Those days are over. Even if she had treated me to Goofy's Kitchen; even if she hadn't stood me up for the parade; even if she had gotten up earlier in the morning, etc., etc., it still would have been a huge pain because of the stopping and starting and shopping, etc. It still would have been all about them and their family dynamic, without a thought about me. I was apparently just a guest tagging along on [U}their[/U] trip to Disneyland!
It's sad to kind of come to the realization that a particular person in your life - someone you have known for over 30 years and with whom you have shared a lot of experiences - is going to always cause you stress, no matter how much time passes, and that you will always clash in some way, but sometimes that is just how it has to be.
So I think it's safe to say that we can bid farewell to fun times like these:
A photo circa 1993/1994, with a little help from Photobucket's Disney Parks Effects...
A photo from Halloween 1990 (if only there were a thought bubble above my head)...
A photo from Halloween 1990 (if only there were a thought bubble above my head)...
What's Next?
This has been one of the hardest sections of this Post-Trip Update to complete, because I keep changing it as things evolve (or devolve) from day to day!
What is to come? What tricks do I have up my sleeve? What plans do I have in the works? What happens now that Halloween Time at Disneyland is upon us, Fall is settling in and Christmas time is but a whisper away?
Well, first of all...I can look forward to a brand new Hallmark Channel Christmas movie marathon beginning next month (it starts on Saturday, November 3rd, to be exact, and then continues every weekend henceforth - all the way through New Year's Eve, I would imagine)!! These are not the classic holiday movies known to generations worldwide - those will appear on other channels. Instead, the movies on Hallmark are generally Hallmark-produced movies or movies that aired on the Lifetime Network at one point or another, and they often involve romance. There is always some disenchanted Scrooge-like female who dislikes Christmas, and she is inevitably overcome with Christmas magic and ends up falling in love with a dude who is in the spirit of the season. Or, by some twist of fate, a business woman ends up traveling back in time (or forward in time) to prevent something or other from happening, and ends up falling in love. Or, a struggling family experiences a little bit of Christmas magic from Santa.
These (2-month long) Hallmark Christmas movie marathons are great because they are so hokey on the one hand, and yet they are strangely comforting to have on TV in the background, as I'm doing other things. They are all basically feel good movies.
I can also hope to stumble upon a random Rankin-Bass marathon or two on ABC Family throughout the holidays, while catching the Rankin-Bass biggies (such as "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" and "Frosty the Snowman" on a major network such as CBS or ABC). I love me some clay puppet TV shows!! I think my alter ego is Mr. Snow Miser!
I can expect to see Charlie Brown's sad little Christmas tree in the "Peanuts" holiday special and sit with Linus in the Pumpkin patch, waiting for the Great Pumpkin.
I can look forward to some of my favorite, more contemporary, holiday movies popping up on TV here and there - "Love Actually" and "Elf," for example (both gems!) - as well as classics such as "It's a Wonderful Life" and any number of "A Christmas Carol" variations.
I will eagerly await some of the wonderful 'Christmas lights' specials that run on either Travel Channel or TLC each year, and will thoroughly soak up all the Halloween TV specials that are happening this month.
I will once again visit The Grove (near to where I live) and soak in some holiday spirit. Maybe I will even be there to catch some of their man-made snowfall.
Forgive the bad cell phone photos (this is an old flip phone, with a bad camera)...
I will continue to stalk my neighborhood, taking photos of random flowers and other interesting things, and chances are that I will probably use those photos in more photo calendars that I intend to make for 2013, or for other projects...I will never stop taking pictures - I love it too much.
If Catalina Express is once again offering a free round-trip boat ride on birthdays beyond April 2013, then I will most likely head to Avalon in July for another round of rampant picture-taking and bad golf cart-driving...
But what about Disneyland trips? Am I planning anything?
Well, here's the thing. all along I assumed that I would make it to DLR for Halloween Time this year, despite increasing signs that the décor has been scaled back. The season lasts from September 14 October 31st, so I figured I would have a lot of time to figure out how and when I am getting there. Now the time is passing very quickly.
I look forward to seeing this sign in person again...
And Id love to go to the Halloween Party again...
Actually, I am excited to see all of these Halloween highlights again...
And Id love to go to the Halloween Party again...
Actually, I am excited to see all of these Halloween highlights again...
I just participated in a Halloween Time-themed podcast with the DIS Unplugged team a couple of weeks ago, as you may recall, and I need to stay up-to-speed on the season for my "Halloween at DLR Superthread":
But...I am encountering one problem after another trying to get down to DLR for Halloween Time.
Liza/funatdisney - who was with me last year for the first day of Halloween Time and for Mickey's Halloween Party - seems to be too busy to go with me again this year, or is not interested or whatever.
Then there is Ros - remember Ros from my day trip to DLR in November 2010 (if you don't, you can find the link to that report on Page 1 of this thread)? She offered to come and pick me up to go to DLR for Halloween Time...but she just did a Halloween trip and went to the MHP with Mary Jo a few nights ago. So I guess that plan is out!
Jackie has offered to let me stay overnight at her house (about 15-20 minutes from DLR), which is very kind of her to do, but it would only work if I were going to be at DLR on a day/night when she could have me as a guest, and could drive me home or pick me up or whatever. If I go to the MHP, that won't work with her schedule.
I've asked Shawn several times if she is interested in going to the MHP, but she has been sick and is still recovering.
Today, the Mickey's Halloween Party page says that all of the MHP nights are sold out except for Friday, October 26, Monday, October 29 and Wednesday, October 31. And I suspect that October 31st will be selling out very soon.
So, basically, I waited too long - and the parties are selling out faster than they did last year - and I am now in the position of being left with a choice of only 2 or 3 specific nights for the MHP, none of which include the AP/pre-purchase discount. All of the discounted nights are sold out.
I began to think it all through. I have said for a while that, eventually I would like to make a trip to Disneyland on Halloween, which I've never done. Would the parks seem more Halloween-ish on Halloween? I think that people trick or treat at the hotels, and I think that there may be a photo spot in the GCH on Halloween. But would the party be more fun? Would the atmosphere be any different on the actual holiday?
I would be willing to go = to make this year the year that I do an actual Halloween day/night trip. My current AP is now all paid off, and I have a little while to decide on whether or not I am renewing the AP right away. I would have to buy an MHP ticket. And I'd have to get down to Anaheim and back, which is proving to be difficult.
On top of all of that, I'd be doing the MHP solo! How sad would that be, collecting candy all by myself?!
...Not to mention the fact that the holiday season at DLR will begin only 12 days after Halloween...
...And I had planned to be at DLR to see the new decorations in California Adventure's new lands...
...And I had planned to be at DLR to see the new decorations in California Adventure's new lands...
If I am not mistaken, I think I am going to be invited back to do another podcast about the holiday season with the Unplugged team, so being at DLR on opening day or on opening weekend of the season is crucial, for the sake of staying up to date for the podcast discussion, as well as for making note of any of the new decorations for my "Disneyland at Christmas/Holiday Season Superthread"
And then I got to thinking a little more, which brought an ambitious idea to mind. What if I could do a trio of holidays? What if I could head to DLR on Halloween, on Thanksgiving and on Christmas? I don't have any other obligations or plans for those days. I'm all by myself. Why not?
Better yet, what if I could do a 'Year of Holidays,' and hit DLR on all the fun holidays such as Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, July 4th, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's, with maybe an extra day like Mardi Gras or Cinco de Mayo thrown in?
Transportation issues aside, I would have to renew my AP in order to pull any of this off. Between the increased payment prices for the AP and paying whatever would be necessary to get from my neighborhood to Anaheim and back on all of these days, I don't see how it would be possible in my current financial circumstances.
I'm sure I could not pull off the full 'Year of Holidays' idea yet (though that would make a great idea for a blog series and photo project). I don't even think I could pull off a Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas trifecta at this point. I would love to - I am not getting any younger and while my schedule is what it is (which means I'm not working), now seems to be the best time to do it. But it's just too hard to get down to DLR and back even one time, let alone 10 or 12 times.
So...sadly, I have reached a dead end. I have thought and thought and pondered and tried to strategize, and I just don't see how I could pull off my 'Year of Holidays' idea, or the Holiday Trifecta idea.
At this rate, I'm not even sure if I'll be going to the Halloween Party or seeing DLR for Halloween Time because it's getting too close to the first day of the holiday season, and that is my main focus.
...Too much to think about...too many problems to solve...no real solutions jumping out at me. I feel trapped and in limbo.
So that's where my actual plans are for Halloween Time - up in the air - and beyond October 31st. And that's what my ambitious idea is - the Year of Holidays - but I doubt I'll be able to make it happen, though it saddens me to say that.
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy New Year.
Glad tidings we bring
To you and your kin;
Glad tidings for Christmas
And a happy New Year!
Links to Other Trip Reports/Recommendations
On Page 1, Post #1 of this TR, I have posted links to the pages on which many of my TR's begin. I also have included links to a few of my more recent or more relevant TR's in my signature below (such as my "CARS LAND MANIA" June 2012 TR and my "Return of the Masked Mouse..." TR for Halloween Time 2011),
I mentioned it early on in this "Aunt Betty..." TR, but I will suggest again that you check out my Trip Report entitled, "The Evil Chair & The Peppermint Cone of Death - A 2010 Christmas Tale - Sun., December 12 - Wed., 15, 2010," which starts on Page 83/Post #1244 (ends on Page 110/Post #1641).
There are lots and lots of photos in that epic. I took something like 1600 photos, but used the most decent ones of the bunch (or the semi-decent ones). Plus, I had a run-in with an ice cream cone, a curb, a camera and a trash can that should not be missed (but should be avoided on future trips)!
I will also refer you to Laurie/DizNee Luver's December 2011 TR: "Hubby got a Camera & I got Christmas!!!" While she didn't have the encounters with "M" that I had (lucky her - she only got to meet "B" and "S"), she was part of my December 2011 trip, as you know, and her TR features many wonderful, lovely Christmas-y photos, and a different angle on the whole trip. In fact, she took more photos of the Paradise Pier Room than I did.
And then there is Molly/bumbershoot's December 2011 TR: "Happy happy happy!" As was the case with Laurie, Molly was there with us in December 2011, and while she didn't have the "M" experience, she put together a nice TR about her part of the adventure!!
If you would like to see photos from my action-packed Catalina Island day trip back in July, this is a very short TR thread (only about 4 pages, mostly containing pictures): "Catalina Island/Avalon - My Solo Day Trip, in Photos (LOTS of Photos!)- 7/21/12." I expect to be putting together a Catalina Superthread at some point soon, to help inform and encourage people traveling to SoCal for extended trips to try visiting Avalon as well.
Christmas Song List
I mentioned in the third segment of my Introduction & Background Information/Pre-Trip Report that I love all things Christmas, including the music - whether it's the well-known classics, the more spiritually-based songs or the upbeat, fun songs. I adore them all for the tone they set and the mood they create for me. I've quoted many holiday songs in this Trip Report, as well as one famous poem! Here is a list of the selections (in case some of them were unfamiliar to the readers), broken down by each TR installment:
Day 1, Part 1 - "(Have Yourself a) Merry Little Christmas"
Day 1, Part 2 - "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas"
Day 1, Part 3 - "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"
Day 1, Part 4 - "'Twas the Night Before Christmas"
Day 2, Part 1 - "Let it Snow"
Day 2, Part 2 - "Holly Jolly Christmas"
Day 2, Part 3 - "Sleigh Ride"
Day 2, Part 4 - "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree"
Day 2, Part 5 - "Angels We Have Heard on High"
Day 2, Part 6 - "Jingle Bell Rock"
Day 2, Part 7 - "The Christmas Song" (or "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)"
Day 2, Part 8 - "What Child is This?"
Day 3, Part 1 -"Winter Wonderland"
Day 3, Part 2 - "Deck the Halls"
Day 3, Part 3 - "White Christmas"
Day 3, Part 4 - "Frosty the Snowman"
Day 3, Part 5 - "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"
Day 3, Part 6 - "O Christmas Tree"
Day 3, Part 7 - "I'll Be Home for Christmas"
Day 3, Part 8 - "Carol of the Bells"
Day 4, Part 1 - "Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)"
Day 4, Part 2a - "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"
Day 4, Part 2b - "Blue Christmas"
Day 4, Part 2c - "Do They Know It's Christmas?"
Day 4, Part 2d - "Little Drummer Boy"
Day 4, Part 2e - "Silver Bells"
Day 4, Part 2f -"The First Noel"
Day 5, Part 1a - "O Holy Night"
Day 5, Part 1b - "Silent Night"
Day 5, Part 1c - "Jingle Bells"
Day 5, Part 1d - "Christmas Is All Around (from the movie, "Love Actually")
Day 5, Part 1e - "Feliz Navidad"
Day 5, Part 1f - "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"
The Aftermath, 1a - "Auld Lang Syne"
The Aftermath, 1b - "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
The Aftermath, 1c - "(Have Yourself a) Merry Little Christmas"
As I said in my previous and final TR installment from Day 5, this story has been a wild ride filled with: fun; merriment; holiday joy; frolicking in the chilly morning air; frustration; stress; anger; drama; suspense; laughter; tears; illness; old friendships falling apart & new friendships being formed; photo sprees; a possibly dangerous shuttle ride into the forest; an awesome Paradise Pier Hotel rate & view; crazy wind gusts; celebrity sightings; a Twilight Zone Lady; 2 Goofy's Kitchen meals; lukewarm spaghetti; peppermint ice cream & gingerbread cookies; zany PhotoPass antics; the revelation of 'Aunt Betty'; a covert nighttime Castle mission that never happened; an indecisive 4-year-old; a bit of wacky humor; and...lots and lots of Christmas songs, too!
Oh - and who could forget the dancing wombat and the flying hairy weasel butt?
I thank you all so, so much for hanging in there with me despite the numerous setbacks and delays. Thank you, too, for the many words of encouragement and support, for the compliments, for the kind sentiments about me and about my Trip Report, etc.
I hope you will join me again on my future, less depressing, Disneyland adventures, whether they are documented in this thread, in another thread...or somewhere else in cyberspace. Stay tuned!
Sing with me now, one last time...you all know the melody...
Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.
Through the years we all will be together
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now...
~ THE END ~
Merry Christmas to all...
and to all, a good night!!!
Merry Christmas to all...
and to all, a good night!!!
Some people need to put others down to feel good about themselves - sad but true.
Remember Sherri (can't remember the correct spelling) from Montana? She was going to do that travel blog and get paid? It would be great if your excellent writing skills combined with your photos could be a source of income for you. 
Good advise on changing the settings on FB.
Onward and upward, right? Time to move on from this particular trip once and for all, and head towards bigger and better things!
I hope that after all of that, you're not letting her Facebook antics get you down. The best revenge is a life well lived - with lots of photo filled holiday trips to DL in the future! 
banana
But I loved every second of it!
