North vs. South - is there still a "conflict" there?

[FireDancer]

I would have much trepidation about a move to the South for myself personally. I have no interest in attending church, hunting, fishing, etc. I enjoy politics, but am very liberal. I was a vegetarian for a couple of years and meat/barbeque are not large parts of my diet. I drink *diet* coke, which I call soda, and I love iced tea - sweetened with something like Splenda or stevia, not sugar syrup. I feel the SEC is overrated and plays cupcake schools while the Pac-10 plays a round robin conference. And, the whole "bless his/her heart" thing is just so foreign to me, and never seems as polite as it's supposed to be. A lot of times it seems like the idea is one can say pretty much anything they want as long as it's followed up with "bless her heart."

The interesting thing is, although I live in Oregon (clearly not the south), I live in on the very rural eastern side of the state. A lot of living here is like living in the south...lots of hunting, fishing, lots of conservative thoughts and ideals and lots of "good ol' boy" mentalities. I grew up on this side of the state, I moved to the western and much more liberal side of the state for college, and I moved back close to home after seven years away because my husband started his career here and so we could be close to family. And honestly, I miss the western side of the state a lot. There are lots of people "like me" here, but there are also a lot who are very different from me and not very interested in any sort of socialization solely for that reason.

I feel like I would experience that in the south, on an even larger scale because I feel like there would be even fewer people like myself - which isn't necessarily a product of being an Oregonian, because we're a very polarized state and there's all kinds here. I have no problem with people who believe differently than me, and was raised to be very polite - so I could (and do) certainly be friends with anyone willing to get past our differences, but I think I would have a difficult time socially in the south. I wouldn't say anything mean or judgmental about people hunting or anything like that - to each their own - but I wouldn't embrace those things for myself either. I would put political signs in my yard and they might be very different from most of my neighbors. And for as liberal as I am, I come off pretty much like your average "soccer mom" type, but I think perhaps a lack of much in common would prevent any close social ties, just because I wouldn't "assimilate" well into the southern culture or change the things I like or don't like doing just because I moved. I'm a fairly private and not terribly social person to begin with, mostly a homebody, so I just feel like I probably wouldn't end up developing many close relationships with anyone.

Anyway, a move there is not on the horizon, so it's a non-issue, but it's always been a place I've thought would be fine to visit but not to live, for me.

I can understand where you are coming from. I do imagine that there would be a culture shock from someone coming from San Francisco to a small town in Mississippi for example. I would also think the culture shock the other way would be just as great. There are places in the country that are more liberal and some that are more conservative. The vast majority are much closer to the middle and this is especially true of any large city, even in the south.

I think you would find that in any southern metropolitan area there would be a much greater balance then is often presented in the media or assumed by people from other parts of the country. The picture painted of any area isn't nearly as neat as the one that flickers to us over the television.

 

[my3sonsagn]

I would have much trepidation about a move to the South for myself personally. I have no interest in attending church, hunting, fishing, etc. I enjoy politics, but am very liberal. I was a vegetarian for a couple of years and meat/barbeque are not large parts of my diet. I drink *diet* coke, which I call soda, and I love iced tea - sweetened with something like Splenda or stevia, not sugar syrup. I feel the SEC is overrated and plays cupcake schools while the Pac-10 plays a round robin conference. And, the whole "bless his/her heart" thing is just so foreign to me, and never seems as polite as it's supposed to be. A lot of times it seems like the idea is one can say pretty much anything they want as long as it's followed up with "bless her heart."

The interesting thing is, although I live in Oregon (clearly not the south), I live in on the very rural eastern side of the state. A lot of living here is like living in the south...lots of hunting, fishing, lots of conservative thoughts and ideals and lots of "good ol' boy" mentalities. I grew up on this side of the state, I moved to the western and much more liberal side of the state for college, and I moved back close to home after seven years away because my husband started his career here and so we could be close to family. And honestly, I miss the western side of the state a lot. There are lots of people "like me" here, but there are also a lot who are very different from me and not very interested in any sort of socialization solely for that reason.

I feel like I would experience that in the south, on an even larger scale because I feel like there would be even fewer people like myself - which isn't necessarily a product of being an Oregonian, because we're a very polarized state and there's all kinds here. I have no problem with people who believe differently than me, and was raised to be very polite - so I could (and do) certainly be friends with anyone willing to get past our differences, but I think I would have a difficult time socially in the south. I wouldn't say anything mean or judgmental about people hunting or anything like that - to each their own - but I wouldn't embrace those things for myself either. I would put political signs in my yard and they might be very different from most of my neighbors. And for as liberal as I am, I come off pretty much like your average "soccer mom" type, but I think perhaps a lack of much in common would prevent any close social ties, just because I wouldn't "assimilate" well into the southern culture or change the things I like or don't like doing just because I moved. I'm a fairly private and not terribly social person to begin with, mostly a homebody, so I just feel like I probably wouldn't end up developing many close relationships with anyone.

Anyway, a move there is not on the horizon, so it's a non-issue, but it's always been a place I've thought would be fine to visit but not to live, for me.

Where in the south have you visited to give you these opinions of us? I would truly hate to go there. One of the reasons I increasingly dislike Hollywood is the constant way they portray southerners in movies and tv shows; they took a stereotype from many decades ago and present it like it's still the way we are. As a general rule, we don't care if you hunt (I don't), what you eat/drink (I know many vegetarians, and my MIL - also lifelong southerner - orders her tea unsweetened, and we've never had a waiter flinch yet lol), where (or even if) you go to church (I was raised southern baptist but switched to presbyterian), or what sports you watch (I don't watch any). There may be pockets within the south where those things are an issue, but I've never been to any, and I have been to/have family in many southern places. As for politics, yes, many of us trend conservative, but there are always tons of yard signs for a variety of candidates, and I've never seen/heard of them getting defaced or stolen within at least a 100 mile radius of here (since that's about the extent of our local news coverage). Many of my friends are liberals, and we have many political discussions, so far, no one has limped away bleeding. lol

Yes, we talk slower; we do a LOT of things slower - have you ever felt how HOT it gets here? Rushing around just doesn't work when you live in a sauna. lol

I agree with the pp who said that not wanting to live in the south based on Hollywood stereotypes is like not wanting to live in Oregon because we don't like wearing flannel.

You should come visit me - we'll see if we can change your perceptions of us ;-)

Jennifer

 

[suzanna1066@comcast.]

I would have much trepidation about a move to the South for myself personally. I have no interest in attending church, hunting, fishing, etc. I enjoy politics, but am very liberal. I was a vegetarian for a couple of years and meat/barbeque are not large parts of my diet. I drink *diet* coke, which I call soda, and I love iced tea - sweetened with something like Splenda or stevia, not sugar syrup. I feel the SEC is overrated and plays cupcake schools while the Pac-10 plays a round robin conference. And, the whole "bless his/her heart" thing is just so foreign to me, and never seems as polite as it's supposed to be. A lot of times it seems like the idea is one can say pretty much anything they want as long as it's followed up with "bless her heart."

The interesting thing is, although I live in Oregon (clearly not the south), I live in on the very rural eastern side of the state. A lot of living here is like living in the south...lots of hunting, fishing, lots of conservative thoughts and ideals and lots of "good ol' boy" mentalities. I grew up on this side of the state, I moved to the western and much more liberal side of the state for college, and I moved back close to home after seven years away because my husband started his career here and so we could be close to family. And honestly, I miss the western side of the state a lot. There are lots of people "like me" here, but there are also a lot who are very different from me and not very interested in any sort of socialization solely for that reason.

I feel like I would experience that in the south, on an even larger scale because I feel like there would be even fewer people like myself - which isn't necessarily a product of being an Oregonian, because we're a very polarized state and there's all kinds here. I have no problem with people who believe differently than me, and was raised to be very polite - so I could (and do) certainly be friends with anyone willing to get past our differences, but I think I would have a difficult time socially in the south. I wouldn't say anything mean or judgmental about people hunting or anything like that - to each their own - but I wouldn't embrace those things for myself either. I would put political signs in my yard and they might be very different from most of my neighbors. And for as liberal as I am, I come off pretty much like your average "soccer mom" type, but I think perhaps a lack of much in common would prevent any close social ties, just because I wouldn't "assimilate" well into the southern culture or change the things I like or don't like doing just because I moved. I'm a fairly private and not terribly social person to begin with, mostly a homebody, so I just feel like I probably wouldn't end up developing many close relationships with anyone.

Anyway, a move there is not on the horizon, so it's a non-issue, but it's always been a place I've thought would be fine to visit but not to live, for me.

Are you serious??
I am a native of GA, all my "people" are from SC and here is my checklist:
Liberal: Very much so.
Been Hunting: Nope, and never will
Fishing: Once and hated it
Country Music: Kind of like the Dixie Chicks but that's it
Religion: None
SEC: Strongest conference in NCAA (you pegged me there)
Vegetarian: Nope and I love a good BBQ, but there are more Sushi places in my neighborhood than BBQ.
Coke or Pepsi: COCA COLA, period.
Sweet Tea: Hate sweet tea (bless my heart)
Grits: Eaten with Salt and Butter (cheese optional). NEVER sugar
I think people who say mean things followed by a "bless her heart" are mean. They aren't fooling me.

Please be careful about stereotyping us. We come in all shapes, creeds and sizes down here.

 

[MarkBarbieri]

I would have much trepidation about a move to the South for myself personally. I have no interest in attending church, hunting, fishing, etc. I enjoy politics, but am very liberal....

Before you buy into your stereotypes of the South too much, you might consider that the largest city in the South (Houston), just elected an openly lesbian mayor. I would also like to point out, ma'am, that here in the enlightened South, we abjure the misogynist phrase "you guys" in favor of the more inclusive "y'all".

If you do find yourself blessed by a move to the South, you'll find that you are no more required to hunt, fish, or attend church here in the South than you are to hug trees, dress grungy, or drink expensive coffee in the Northwest. The South has become a very diverse place as lots of people have been moving here from around the world and especially from the northern states. I'm not sure whether that's because people like the warm climate or the business climate.

 

[ladycollector]

Are you serious??

Please be careful about stereotyping us. We come in all shapes, creeds and sizes down here.

I agree. I was extremely offended by the first paragraph of phragmipedium's post but have refrained myself from commenting so I don't get banned.

 

[Smileybug]

I agree. I was extremely offended by the first paragraph of phragmipedium's post but have refrained myself from commenting so I don't get banned.

I agree with you.

And I have to add that when I say "Bless your heart" it is said with much love and/or sympathy. Never in any other way.

 

[DarthKTrava]

Are you serious??
I am a native of GA, all my "people" are from SC and here is my checklist:
Liberal: Very much so.
Been Hunting: Nope, and never will
Fishing: Once and hated it
Country Music: Kind of like the Dixie Chicks but that's it
Religion: None
SEC: Strongest conference in NCAA (you pegged me there)
Vegetarian: Nope and I love a good BBQ, but there are more Sushi places in my neighborhood than BBQ.
Coke or Pepsi: COCA COLA, period.
Sweet Tea: Hate sweet tea (bless my heart)
Grits: Eaten with Salt and Butter (cheese optional). NEVER sugar
I think people who say mean things followed by a "bless her heart" are mean. They aren't fooling me.

Please be careful about stereotyping us. We come in all shapes, creeds and sizes down here.

Me:
Liberal: yes (although I avoid politics like the plague)
Been Hunting: nope. Never will.
Fishing: haven't done since I was a kid and lived in FLORIDA.
Country Music: nope unless it crosses over to the pop/rock station.
Vegetarian: only if it comes with a healthy portion of MEAT.
Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi. It doesn't bugger my kidneys like Coke does. But I will drink Coke if it' the only thing there.
Sweet Tea: yes. But not where it's basically "colored sugar". I like to taste the TEA in there.
Grits: with butter and cheese. NO SUGAR. Or salt.
Religion: Wesleyan. Don't care for the baptists that I've run across. Some of my friends are Catholic. Some are Pagan. Doesn't bother me.
Sports Conference: ACC (GO TARHEELS!!!!!)
Native of Nevada. But lived mainly in southern Florida and spent most of my life here in NC.

 

[Alex&Evan'sMom]

First of all, you need to redefine "South." Arizona and New Mexico have never been "the South." Texas to the east coast, Alabama to Tennesee and Virginia is "the South." "Deep South" would be Mississippi, south Georgia,
Alabama, and Louisiana. And maybe South Carolina. Florida is NOT "the South." Nor are Kentucky, Maryland, West Virginia,Missouri, nor Kansas.

So, as to whether you or your children would be treated differently, I think it depends on where you are talking about. Backwoods Alabama(where I'm from)? Yeah, you might have a few issues, due mostly to just being the "new people in town." Different accent, different culture, you know. Move to Atlanta, GA(where I live now)? Nobody would even notice your accent. We're ALLLL from somewhere else.

I was born in Virginia, the heart of the Revolution and once the capital of the Confederacy. The Civil War was really a non-issue to our family and friends. Then when I was 11 we moved to Pascagoula, MS, where we learned that the War of Northern Aggression was still being fought in the streets. I had never heard teh N-word until I moved to Mississippi (and I didn't pick it up, either!) Because I had that lovely Tidewater/eastern VA accent, people called me a "d--- Yankee!" WHAT?? Last time I checked, Virginia was below the Mason-Dixon line! I can't tell you how many times people would tell me "Say something! We want to hear your weird accent." Bunch of marroons...

We adjusted. All of us made friends, graduated from HS & college, went on to be successful adults, blahblahblah...I think there are probably small towns and pockets of society for whom the War Between the States will never end. Nothing you can do about that. But to paint the entire Southern U.S as a place where northerners will be vilified, where they will suffer violence and persecution? I think that's pretty harsh.

It's funny that you said that. What part of VA are you from? I was born in Alexandria, VA but moved to Alabama when I was 2. However, my Mom was born and raised there and we have the same accent.(which I have passed down to my son.) My whole life anytime I've met anyone new they always end of saying, "So where are you from?" I'm always like "Um, here." My hubby has always lovingly called me yankee even though I've never been north of the Mason Dixon line. I've never taken offense to it, as he's just being silly. I went to a pretty small town high school and never remember anyone being hateful to somebody because of where they were from. I'll never forget once there was a cool girl with big hair(the 80's), high heeled lace up shoes, tight jeans and concert tees that moved here from New Jersey. I thought she was the coolest girl ever! We became fast friends and compared favorite hair bands. I miss her. Ah, good times.

 

[minkydog]

I would have much trepidation about a move to the South for myself personally. I have no interest in attending church, hunting, fishing, etc. I enjoy politics, but am very liberal. I was a vegetarian for a couple of years and meat/barbeque are not large parts of my diet. I drink *diet* coke, which I call soda, and I love iced tea - sweetened with something like Splenda or stevia, not sugar syrup.

I have no problem with people who believe differently than me, and was raised to be very polite - so I could (and do) certainly be friends with anyone willing to get past our differences, but I think I would have a difficult time socially in the south. I wouldn't say anything mean or judgmental about people hunting or anything like that - to each their own - but I wouldn't embrace those things for myself either. I would put political signs in my yard and they might be very different from most of my neighbors. And for as liberal as I am, I come off pretty much like your average "soccer mom" type, but I think perhaps a lack of much in common would prevent any close social ties, just because I wouldn't "assimilate" well into the southern culture or change the things I like or don't like doing just because I moved.

Well, I think this is ridiculous. You've been watching too much "Dukes of Hazzard." Your post is a little condescending, frankly.

Just so you know, there are plenty of people who think the way you do in the Deep South. My husband, nor any of my male relatives has never hunted(well, once, when he was 15 DH shot a squirrel with a BB gun and felt so bad about it he never did it again.) ONly my brother fishes and he lives in the Outer Banks. We actually have colleges down here (2 degrees for me and DH!) Our sweet tea is sweetened with splenda and lime. Our DD16 has been vegetarian for 2 years and I cook vegetarian much of the time. We have a lot of Democrats here in Georgia and a large minority of Libertarians. If you put an Obama sign in your yard, it would elicit a great big yawn. We have Starbucks, Whole Foods, Indian restaurants, and oh yes, salmon! We speak other languages than English. And the weather is great! Where else can you wear shorts and flipflops in February?

Unless you were to move somewhere remote, like the Okefenokee Swamp, I think you would find the kind of people you were looking for. Of course, if you're looking for trash talking bigoted rednecks you'll probably find them anywhere you go.

 

[minkydog]

It's funny that you said that. What part of VA are you from? I was born in Alexandria, VA but moved to Alabama when I was 2. However, my Mom was born and raised there and we have the same accent.(which I have passed down to my son.) My whole life anytime I've met anyone new they always end of saying, "So where are you from?" I'm always like "Um, here." My hubby has always lovingly called me yankee even though I've never been north of the Mason Dixon line. I've never taken offense to it, as he's just being silly. I went to a pretty small town high school and never remember anyone being hateful to somebody because of where they were from. I'll never forget once there was a cool girl with big hair(the 80's), high heeled lace up shoes, tight jeans and concert tees that moved here from New Jersey. I thought she was the coolest girl ever! We became fast friends and compared favorite hair bands. I miss her. Ah, good times.

I was born at Ft Monroe, VA, near Norfolk, and spent my early years in Newport News. We moved to Pascagoula, MS, when I was 11, then on to a very small town near Mobile, AL. I went to college in Livingston, AL, another very small town.

I still have a bit of that Tidewater accent. My paternal grandparents lived all their lives in the Outer Banks and had that very old-fashioned accent. I used to spend a lot of time down there and acquired that accent too, on certain words. So between my Virginia accent, my Outer Banks accent, and my Alabama accent my speech is rather diverse Southern. No one would ever mistake me for a Midwest girl.

 

[si-am]

Well, I think this is ridiculous. You've been watching too much "Dukes of Hazzard." Your post is a little condescending, frankly.

Just so you know, there are plenty of people who think the way you do in the Deep South. My husband, nor any of my male relatives has never hunted(well, once, when he was 15 DH shot a squirrel with a BB gun and felt so bad about it he never did it again.) ONly my brother fishes and he lives in the Outer Banks. We actually have colleges down here (2 degrees for me and DH!) Our sweet tea is sweetened with splenda and lime. Our DD16 has been vegetarian for 2 years and I cook vegetarian much of the time. We have a lot of Democrats here in Georgia and a large minority of Libertarians. If you put an Obama sign in your yard, it would elicit a great big yawn. We have Starbucks, Whole Foods, Indian restaurants, and oh yes, salmon! We speak other languages than English. And the weather is great! Where else can you wear shorts and flipflops in February?

Unless you were to move somewhere remote, like the Okefenokee Swamp, I think you would find the kind of people you were looking for. Of course, if you're looking for trash talking bigoted rednecks you'll probably find them anywhere you go.

Great post!

I forgot to mention that I also HATE grits, and I drink unsweetened tea.

There are some things about living in Georgia that I absolutely hate, I'll admit (Sunday blue laws). I think that's absolutely ridiculous. But I'm pretty sure Connecticut has the same law, and last I checked, they're Yankees up there.

 

[suzanna1066@comcast.]

Me:
Liberal: yes (although I avoid politics like the plague)
Been Hunting: nope. Never will.
Fishing: haven't done since I was a kid and lived in FLORIDA.
Country Music: nope unless it crosses over to the pop/rock station.
Vegetarian: only if it comes with a healthy portion of MEAT.
Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi. It doesn't bugger my kidneys like Coke does. But I will drink Coke if it' the only thing there.
Sweet Tea: yes. But not where it's basically "colored sugar". I like to taste the TEA in there.
Grits: with butter and cheese. NO SUGAR. Or salt.
Religion: Wesleyan. Don't care for the baptists that I've run across. Some of my friends are Catholic. Some are Pagan. Doesn't bother me.
Sports Conference: ACC (GO TARHEELS!!!!!)
Native of Nevada. But lived mainly in southern Florida and spent most of my life here in NC.

I will forgive you for drinking Pepsi since you are from NC, but I just had to mention that my alma mater in Charleston whipped those Tarheels last week!

 

[brerrabbit]

Well I guess she nailed me, I hunt, I fish, and not only do I go to church but, I even sing in the choir. I own guns, I am considered by some Redneck, heck my great great Grandfather (buried in the same family cemetary as my Mother and Father) even fought for the South in the "War of Northern Agression" for four years. I drive a truck, have been known to drink beer, and even chew tobacco every now and then.

But, my best friend is from Indiana, my favorite coworker (who owns guns, hunts, and drinks beer too) in from Brooklyn, NY. and is a second generation Italian American. My wives best friends are from South Louisana, Norway, California, and gasp! New York.

In the world we live in in Texas, this is the norm. Stats show more people move to Texas than any other state in the country. We are what all of America once was. The home to a very diverse population that manage to get along pretty darn well. I would venture to say that at least in the large metro areas of Houston, DFW, San Antonio, and Austin you will find more acceptance and integration of ideas than you will just about anywhere else in the country.

By the way I like unsweetend tea that I put sweet and low in myself.

 

[my3sonsagn]

Well I guess she nailed me, I hunt, I fish, and not only do I go to church but, I even sing in the choir. I own guns, I am considered by some Redneck, heck my great great Grandfather (buried in the same family cemetary as my Mother and Father) even fought for the South in the "War of Northern Agression" for four years. I drive a truck, have been known to drink beer, and even chew tobacco every now and then.

But, my best friend is from Indiana, my favorite coworker (who owns guns, hunts, and drinks beer too) in from Brooklyn, NY. and is a second generation Italian American. My wives best friends are from South Louisana, Norway, California, and gasp! New York.

In the world we live in in Texas, this is the norm. Stats show more people move to Texas than any other state in the country. We are what all of America once was. The home to a very diverse population that manage to get along pretty darn well. I would venture to say that at least in the large metro areas of Houston, DFW, San Antonio, and Austin you will find more acceptance and integration of ideas than you will just about anywhere else in the country.

By the way I like unsweetend tea that I put sweet and low in myself.

Oh, no - now you'll have people thinking we're into polygamy, too!

Metro Atlanta is like, that, too. It's actually become fairly rare to meet someone who is "native" to the area, and there really isn't any tension from it. We have a lot of different cultures here, now, and I see that as a very positive thing for all of us.

I must admit to being a sweet tea fan and a RC Cola lover, though.

Jennifer

 

[MarkBarbieri]

By the way, Walt Disney World is in the South. I've heard that it is a nice place with nice people.

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

By the way, Walt Disney World is in the South. I've heard that it is a nice place with nice people.

 

[tonilea]

duplicate post

 

[MrsPete]

Well, I think this is ridiculous. You've been watching too much "Dukes of Hazzard." Your post is a little condescending, frankly.

Yep, plenty of people are sure that shows like "Dukes" are documentaries, not fiction.

If that's so, then how 'bout we take our cues from other fictional stories? That'd mean that about half the people in New Jersey are in the Mafia (I saw the entire Sopranos series, so don't try to lie to me!) Texas is full of nothing but cowboys (I'm a bit confused on exactly how I visited there last summer and 95% of the people I met were not cowboys -- clearly the majority of the population must've been out wranglin' some doggies). The plains are full of wild Indians who, quite frankly, are a little dangerous. Look what they tried to do to John Wayne! Multiple times! Sure, they were friendly to Kevin Costner for a while, but you can't trust them.

Silly, huh? Thinking that we in the South live like the Dukes of Hazzard is equally silly.

 

[tonilea]

I didn't read all the posts, but for the most part, any time I have heard Yankees disparaged has been adults and it involved local politics. They move down here, decide we are so stupid we can't manage things on our own. So they run for political office and try to make it more like where ever the heck they moved from.

 

[DarthKTrava]

I will forgive you for drinking Pepsi since you are from NC, but I just had to mention that my alma mater in Charleston whipped those Tarheels last week!

I have friends from Atlanta who won't touch Pepsi with a 10-foot pole.

And they're not the same team as last year, with so many who have already gone pro after last season.