North vs. South - is there still a "conflict" there?

[EMom]

I am not a Southerner, although I do live in the South now. Within one week of living here, the first thing I learned was not to discuss religion or politics. Still don't, at least not with the locals! I'm from a Western state (not CA) where we had a variety of ethnic populations, religions, and political views, so I'm used to open-mindedness. I avoid restaurants and stores that continually have Fox News blaring, and pretend to be talking on my cell phone when heated religious and political discussions are taking place. I just smile and go about my business. I belong to a four hundred year-old well-established Protestant religion that no one here has ever heard of (I've been called a non-Christian more than once), and my Church is non-existent here. So, I don't discuss politics or religion down here. Learned my lesson within one week!

What a heavy burden you bear...and so gracefully, bless your heart.

 

[DarthKTrava]

As a born and bred Southerner I can tell you first hand that the accent issue goes on within the Southern boundaries. When I moved from AL to TN you would have thought I moved from another country.. Everyone I talked to wanted to know where I was from!

I will say though that depending on where you live, religion does play a big part in everyday life. In the small town I lived in near Knoxville, heck we are Methodists and you would think we are heathens. The Baptists are deep rooted around here.

But honestly.. the biggest issue I've encountered is the fact that I'm an Auburn graduate in TN VOL country...... Pick the right SEC football team to follow and you will fit in perfectly!!!

BTW... WAR EAGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

More like ACC teams here.

 

[DarthKTrava]

Shoot me a PM when you make the move. Clemmons is lovely. We're about 15 minutes west of there.

And I'm about a half hour away from you.

 

[DarthKTrava]

We always drive to WDW now. Takes 9 hours door to door. From Clemmons, tack on an extra 1/2 hour.

And it takes me about 10-10.5 hours to get to WDW from here.

 

[DarthKTrava]

I am so sorry. I honestly don't understand why some people have to be so cruel. I can take and give joking with the best of them. I can't stand the people who are just downright mean.

I can't stand those kind of people either. But now it doesn't bother me like it did when I was a teenager who wanted to just fit in.

 

[MrsSpratt]

Thank you. It's why I remain polite down here.

YAY! You obviously get the difference between Ma'am and "Bless (her) Their Heart!"

to the OP - are you a curious, opening, welcoming individual? Willing to share your way of doing things while learning others ways of doing so?

If so, get ready to make the best friends you'll ever have.

And welcome to polite manners, amazing seafood, celebrations out of nothing, big things swept under the rug (but everyone knows they are there...)

I think you'll find it a positive environment in which to raise your son. Good luck!

 

[phragmipedium]

I would have much trepidation about a move to the South for myself personally. I have no interest in attending church, hunting, fishing, etc. I enjoy politics, but am very liberal. I was a vegetarian for a couple of years and meat/barbeque are not large parts of my diet. I drink *diet* coke, which I call soda, and I love iced tea - sweetened with something like Splenda or stevia, not sugar syrup. I feel the SEC is overrated and plays cupcake schools while the Pac-10 plays a round robin conference. And, the whole "bless his/her heart" thing is just so foreign to me, and never seems as polite as it's supposed to be. A lot of times it seems like the idea is one can say pretty much anything they want as long as it's followed up with "bless her heart."

The interesting thing is, although I live in Oregon (clearly not the south), I live in on the very rural eastern side of the state. A lot of living here is like living in the south...lots of hunting, fishing, lots of conservative thoughts and ideals and lots of "good ol' boy" mentalities. I grew up on this side of the state, I moved to the western and much more liberal side of the state for college, and I moved back close to home after seven years away because my husband started his career here and so we could be close to family. And honestly, I miss the western side of the state a lot. There are lots of people "like me" here, but there are also a lot who are very different from me and not very interested in any sort of socialization solely for that reason.

I feel like I would experience that in the south, on an even larger scale because I feel like there would be even fewer people like myself - which isn't necessarily a product of being an Oregonian, because we're a very polarized state and there's all kinds here. I have no problem with people who believe differently than me, and was raised to be very polite - so I could (and do) certainly be friends with anyone willing to get past our differences, but I think I would have a difficult time socially in the south. I wouldn't say anything mean or judgmental about people hunting or anything like that - to each their own - but I wouldn't embrace those things for myself either. I would put political signs in my yard and they might be very different from most of my neighbors. And for as liberal as I am, I come off pretty much like your average "soccer mom" type, but I think perhaps a lack of much in common would prevent any close social ties, just because I wouldn't "assimilate" well into the southern culture or change the things I like or don't like doing just because I moved. I'm a fairly private and not terribly social person to begin with, mostly a homebody, so I just feel like I probably wouldn't end up developing many close relationships with anyone.

Anyway, a move there is not on the horizon, so it's a non-issue, but it's always been a place I've thought would be fine to visit but not to live, for me.

 

[Soarin08]

Where I live in south-central Miss., absolutely would Northerners be snubbed. My mother is a Yankee (Illinois). She is treated like a second-class citizen. I always have been as well since I don't act like a redneck and do not have an accent. I was asked numerous times in high school "Are you SURE you're from the South?" because I do not speak with the drawly tone like most of us in MS have. My teensy town is VERY backwards and VERY redneck. I despise it. I am actually moving up North in April (Idaho) and looking forward to it immensely! I am not only snubbed for that but also for my religion. I am Mormon and whoa.... I have been told all manner of crazy assumptions about the LDS Church from the so-called "Christians" where I live who are so "tolerant." They're all Baptists and the Baptists in my town are nuts (NO OFFENSE TO BAPTISTS ON THE BOARDS!!!!!!!!). It's disgusting and another strike against the South, for me, and another plus for the North in my eyes.

HOWEVER... for me personally, do I discriminate against Northerners?? NO WAY!! A good many of my friends are Yankees (mostly from MI). I find them to be far more pleasant, agreeable, and open-minded than the people in my area. I feel much more at ease with Northerners than Southerners.

ETA: At my college we had a Harvard professor come speak to us about our county's role in the Civil War (he wrote a book about it- a little online searching and I think you can find it). This ancient man from our college town got up ON STAGE and told the professor what a liar he was, that the South won the Civil War in all actuality, that Yankees were crazy, etc. etc. It's crap like that that makes me ashamed to live in Mississippi.

 

[darlak]

I haven't read all the replies, so this have already been said by a previous poster. I think the only problem southerners have, in general, with northerners relocating here has nothing to do with whether we're in a rural area vs. a larger city.

The truth is that the sterotypical southerner myth is still alive and well for many people outside of the south and most southerners are keenly aware of it. We know that because we speak slower, may outside the south assume we also think slower. That knowledge makes us a bit more sensitive. So my advice is that if you do relocate here, come with the knowledge that you'll find rednecks here certainly, but also know that you'll find highly educated people, aging hippies, yuppies in abundance, democrats and republicans, and the full range of other types that you'll find anywhere outside of the south.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the only real difference anymore is the way we speak. Don't riducule us for that and you should be fine. Within a year or so, you'll probably even find yourself starting to sound a little like us. You should also find that strangers wave and even speak to you more as a rule and even our largest cities still have a small town feel to them.

 

[hentob]

And I'm about a half hour away from you.

Sending you a PM

 

[si-am]

I would have much trepidation about a move to the South for myself personally. I have no interest in attending church, hunting, fishing, etc. I enjoy politics, but am very liberal. I was a vegetarian for a couple of years and meat/barbeque are not large parts of my diet. I drink *diet* coke, which I call soda, and I love iced tea - sweetened with something like Splenda or stevia, not sugar syrup. I feel the SEC is overrated and plays cupcake schools while the Pac-10 plays a round robin conference. And, the whole "bless his/her heart" thing is just so foreign to me, and never seems as polite as it's supposed to be. A lot of times it seems like the idea is one can say pretty much anything they want as long as it's followed up with "bless her heart."

The interesting thing is, although I live in Oregon (clearly not the south), I live in on the very rural eastern side of the state. A lot of living here is like living in the south...lots of hunting, fishing, lots of conservative thoughts and ideals and lots of "good ol' boy" mentalities. I grew up on this side of the state, I moved to the western and much more liberal side of the state for college, and I moved back close to home after seven years away because my husband started his career here and so we could be close to family. And honestly, I miss the western side of the state a lot. There are lots of people "like me" here, but there are also a lot who are very different from me and not very interested in any sort of socialization solely for that reason.

I feel like I would experience that in the south, on an even larger scale because I feel like there would be even fewer people like myself - which isn't necessarily a product of being an Oregonian, because we're a very polarized state and there's all kinds here. I have no problem with people who believe differently than me, and was raised to be very polite - so I could (and do) certainly be friends with anyone willing to get past our differences, but I think I would have a difficult time socially in the south. I wouldn't say anything mean or judgmental about people hunting or anything like that - to each their own - but I wouldn't embrace those things for myself either. I would put political signs in my yard and they might be very different from most of my neighbors. And for as liberal as I am, I come off pretty much like your average "soccer mom" type, but I think perhaps a lack of much in common would prevent any close social ties, just because I wouldn't "assimilate" well into the southern culture or change the things I like or don't like doing just because I moved. I'm a fairly private and not terribly social person to begin with, mostly a homebody, so I just feel like I probably wouldn't end up developing many close relationships with anyone.

Anyway, a move there is not on the horizon, so it's a non-issue, but it's always been a place I've thought would be fine to visit but not to live, for me.

Not to pick on you, personally, (well I guess kinda) but you are painting with such a broad brush here. I think it's sad.

I think I mentioned earlier in the thread that I have lived my whole life in Georgia, and not Atlanta either. Small towns. (I didn't move to Atlanta until I was in my 20s.) And guess what? I am super liberal. I don't attend church (though I am religious). I used to be a vegetarian. I hate country music. I can't stand hunting. And there are hundreds, thousands of people here just like me. And you.

 

[rie'smom]

I would have much trepidation about a move to the South for myself personally. I have no interest in attending church, hunting, fishing, etc. I enjoy politics, but am very liberal. I was a vegetarian for a couple of years and meat/barbeque are not large parts of my diet. I drink *diet* coke, which I call soda, and I love iced tea - sweetened with something like Splenda or stevia, not sugar syrup. I feel the SEC is overrated and plays cupcake schools while the Pac-10 plays a round robin conference. And, the whole "bless his/her heart" thing is just so foreign to me, and never seems as polite as it's supposed to be. A lot of times it seems like the idea is one can say pretty much anything they want as long as it's followed up with "bless her heart."

The interesting thing is, although I live in Oregon (clearly not the south), I live in on the very rural eastern side of the state. A lot of living here is like living in the south...lots of hunting, fishing, lots of conservative thoughts and ideals and lots of "good ol' boy" mentalities. I grew up on this side of the state, I moved to the western and much more liberal side of the state for college, and I moved back close to home after seven years away because my husband started his career here and so we could be close to family. And honestly, I miss the western side of the state a lot. There are lots of people "like me" here, but there are also a lot who are very different from me and not very interested in any sort of socialization solely for that reason.

I feel like I would experience that in the south, on an even larger scale because I feel like there would be even fewer people like myself - which isn't necessarily a product of being an Oregonian, because we're a very polarized state and there's all kinds here. I have no problem with people who believe differently than me, and was raised to be very polite - so I could (and do) certainly be friends with anyone willing to get past our differences, but I think I would have a difficult time socially in the south. I wouldn't say anything mean or judgmental about people hunting or anything like that - to each their own - but I wouldn't embrace those things for myself either. I would put political signs in my yard and they might be very different from most of my neighbors. And for as liberal as I am, I come off pretty much like your average "soccer mom" type, but I think perhaps a lack of much in common would prevent any close social ties, just because I wouldn't "assimilate" well into the southern culture or change the things I like or don't like doing just because I moved. I'm a fairly private and not terribly social person to begin with, mostly a homebody, so I just feel like I probably wouldn't end up developing many close relationships with anyone.

Anyway, a move there is not on the horizon, so it's a non-issue, but it's always been a place I've thought would be fine to visit but not to live, for me.

Is this tongue in cheek? It would be like me saying that I don't want to live in Oregon because I don't wear plaid flannel shirts and I'm not into being a lumberjack.

 

[mill4023]

I am from Ohio and lived in Tampa for 2 years. I was never subjected to any hate that I was aware of because of my northern roots. Maybe everyone pointed and laughed behind my back, I guess I'll never know. I was also told once that FL wasn't the south which is absurd. Last time I checked the map it was as far south as one could get in the continental United States.

I'm sure there are places where they are still fighting the civil war for one reason or another but I don't think that is the normal case and I sure wouldn't let it keep me from moving to the south again. There is also a pretty big difference between a little jab or joke that is meant in humor and being hung from a tree because you are a "carpetbagger".

Florida may be in the South geographically, but it is certainly not part of the south culturally. The OP also mentioned Arizona, which again, is not even close to being part of "The South".

We moved from Oregon to Charlotte, NC (well, just south of Charlotte) in 2006. Virtually everyone in our neighborhood is from the Northeast or Florida. But I've also met a lot of people who are native southerners and I've found them all to be completely welcoming.

But North Carolina is not Southern Louisiana. The only time I've spent in Louisiana was in New Orleans, but DW has a good friend from one of the very rural parts of Louisiana and she spent some time there for her wedding. From what she said, it is like another world. She said everyone she met still used the N word to refer to black people and gave her a lot of crap for being a Yankee. She was really shocked by how much it fit the deep south stereotype.

So it probably depends on exactly where you are talking about.

 

[cocodog]

Interesting question. As someone who was born, bred, and still resides in the South, I'll give you my take, FWIW ;o) It probably boils down to the size of the place you live.
In a decent- sized town, no one is likely to notice, because all the lines between N & S have been blurred many years ago. (Influx of industry and ease of mobility brought diversity long, long ago!)
I did not see the age of your child in your post. Only in the tiniest, most rural, and least transient towns would your child stand out as a Yankee. But, even under those circumstances, a child being a child, your son will quickly learn the lingo and not stand out for long. In fact, I would think you would be doing him a favor to move him to the South. I will also mention that NC is much less 'Southern' than SC. Hope this helps a little!

 

[rie'smom]

But North Carolina is not Southern Louisiana. The only time I've spent in Louisiana was in New Orleans, but DW has a good friend from one of the very rural parts of Louisiana and she spent some time there for her wedding. From what she said, it is like another world. She said everyone she met still used the N word to refer to black people and gave her a lot of crap for being a Yankee. She was really shocked by how much it fit the deep south stereotype.

So it probably depends on exactly where you are talking about.

We live in south Louisiana and the "n" word is nowhere acceptable. There are uncouth people all around the country who use the term. It isn't limited to any particular place. I'm 51 and even as a small child before Civil Rights legislation, I never heard that term. The first time I heard it was when I watched a movie. I had to ask my mother what it meant. She told me that nice people never use that word and that it was a very ugly term people use to refer to Negroes, which was the acceptable word at the time for African Americans.

Maybe someone was trying to make drama where there wasn't any or else your wife's friend is not from a very nice family. People who use that word are thought of as "white trash" and that term is not a socio - economi pejorative. It's someone who doesn't behave properly.

 

[GoofyBaseballMom26]

Oh, 'scuse me while I wap you upside the head wit ma big ol' CRIMSON TIDE beer stein.

LOL

 

[jt'smom]

i was born in south carolina, but grew up in new york city metro area, and have lived in boston, philly, nyc, atlanta. i currently live in a relatively rural town in georgia about an hour outside of atlanta, and i don't see any "yankee-hating" stuff here!

as a matter of fact, my neighbors in my sub-division are from new york, chicago, california, florida, mississippi, boston, liberia, jamaica and just about everywhere else in the world you can imagine. we even let those "gun-toting, tobacco-chewing red-necks" (just a joke people) live here!!! our cul-de-sac looks like the united nations every afternoon when the kids get home from school and go outside to play, and everybody likes each other just fine.

i think in this world where people move all over for their jobs and such, you will find that even in the old south, it is pretty much a melting pot and that's a good thing!

 

[mill4023]

We live in south Louisiana and the "n" word is nowhere acceptable. There are uncouth people all around the country who use the term. It isn't limited to any particular place. I'm 51 and even as a small child before Civil Rights legislation, I never heard that term. The first time I heard it was when I watched a movie. I had to ask my mother what it meant. She told me that nice people never use that word and that it was a very ugly term people use to refer to Negroes, which was the acceptable word at the time for African Americans.

Maybe someone was trying to make drama where there wasn't any or else your wife's friend is not from a very nice family. People who use that word are thought of as "white trash" and that term is not a socio - economi pejorative. It's someone who doesn't behave properly.

Yes there are racist people all over the country, but that doesn't mean it isn't more prevalent in some areas.

I wasn't trying to imply that everyone in Louisiana was like that. Only pointing out DW's experience in one particular town in Louisiana and making the point that there are still some areas where people of another race or another background, are likely to be treated poorly.

 

[RadioNate]

I'm late to this thread but I've lived in 7 states from Oregon to Florida. North, south, west, mid-west. The only place I have lived is the northeast.

I grew up in Chicago. I've only had a problem being accepted in 1 state I lived in, Oregon. That was the only placed that me not being "native" was ever made an issue. For a state that prides itself for it's openmindedmess, it was where the most shunning happened.

I had no issues in South Carolina, Tennessee or Texas.

As someone who has moved a lot, the one thing I would caution against is talking to locals about your old location and compairing. I've seen it a million times and it always comes across badly even if that isn't the intention. People everywhere start to resent it if you tell how everything at 'home' was better.

 

[belle&sebastiansmom]

We've lived in South Louisiana and Deep South Mississippi for a long time now. My DH is a born and bred Long Islander.

Just wanted to reassure you that he is able to walk around town with his Yankees hat on and not get a bottle of beer thrown on him. We don't follow LSU, the Tide, Ole' Miss, and he still has all the windows in his vehicle. He can order any beverage in a restaurant by it's proper name (it's not all Coke) and won't get a confused look. He's never been made fun of because of his accent (except by me, chocolate does not have a W in it!)

Like any place, you show respect to the people and it will be given back to you. Like any place, you'll have your jerks. But I don't understand being afraid of moving to the South. I wouldn't be afraid to move to the North and wouldn't even have thought to ask if those "yankees" would like me or make fun of me. Friends will be made depending on the attitude one has.