Non-custodial parent phone calls to children

[phorsenuf]

I agree. The little boy needs to be put first, and what works for him is what matters most. I think the father should be able to speak with his son anytime. It is healthy for the child to know his father is there, and will be there for him.

I think your suggestion is a good one, get the son a cell phone, and when they are out the mom can carry it. Everyone wins. No need for this to bloom into a big issue.

Patience grasshopper....there will be more.....

 

[lil mermaid]

Your original question was - is calling every night excessive. No, it isn't, IMO.

I agree with the suggestion of getting the little guy his own cell phone. Unless, of course, you want to restrict the amount of time the SS spends on the phone with his Dad.

 

[lil mermaid]

Boomhauer - Run and hide. No matter what you say, there are some who are just gonna tear you down.

Good luck.

Mrs. Boomhauer??

 

[mickeyfan2]

I think it is great that he is son involved. It can only be good for his son. What does the custody order state about phone contact? Does it set a time where he can call? If not, then talk to the Dad and try to set up a window when he can call.

 

[poohandwendy]

I know he said that, . of course a 6 yr old would lose it, but my suggestion was too leave it at home or adults hold it, if no one answers then he needs to leave a message, just wondering why Boom thinks its a bad idea.

IMO, it's because the real issue is that he is irked by the ex and wants to make life less easy for him. This isn't about the boy. It's just pettiness or he would be looking for a solution that wouldn't be restrictive of the relationship between the boy and his father and also be less intrusive for Boom and his wife. A cell phone is a great idea and it does not have to be lost, he does have adults around him who could take some responsibility here, right?

 

[MosMom]

Boomhauer, it feels to me that your posts now have their own doomsday cult following.

I read your posts as a newly married guy (who is a first-time dad of twins on top of that) trying to figure out all the rules that aren't written down that everybody already knows and everybody also knows WHY the rules are like they are. You, however, are getting SLAMMED for asking the why questions.

Brandie

You're a guy? LadyShiva and you signed it Brandie?

 

[MosMom]

The cell phone will never work. He will want to talk TOO much then and they will end up paying the $50 a month or more for the phone and that takes away $600 a month for Disney. The phone is only an option of real dad pays for it.

 

[ilovejack02]

Boomhauer, it feels to me that your posts now have their own doomsday cult following.

I read your posts as a newly married guy (who is a first-time dad of twins on top of that) trying to figure out all the rules that aren't written down that everybody already knows and everybody also knows WHY the rules are like they are. You, however, are getting SLAMMED for asking the why questions.

You are an outsider to the parental questions between your wife and her ex. Things are happening in that little world that make no sense because you have no experience in that arena, nor are you really consulted (which makes sense a little, but it also seems a little illogical). You're trying to get up to speed with all the rules, but frankly, your questions come off like newbie questions to the people who have seen it all, lived through it all, and by golly, were too broke to get the t-shirt. I say that not to knock you or your questions.

I don't think there's a book out there that's thick enough to give you all the answers you're going to need for the next 12 years + a lifetime, but I definitely wish you all the good luck you're going to need!

Brandie

That is true... its hard to be a step parent..lol! Just keep in mind that unless this man is a bad person.. he should be in the child's life as much as possible. You stepson will thank you later in life trust me!!! I love this line..

Love you children more than you hate your EX.... now i know its not your ex LOL, but you get my point dont ya?!?

 

[disneyjunkie]

Mrs. Boomhauer??

Maybe the MIL?

 

[boomhauer]

IMO, it's because the real issue is that he is irked by the ex and wants to make life less easy for him. This isn't about the boy. It's just pettiness or he would be looking for a solution that wouldn't be restrictive of the relationship between the boy and his father and also be less intrusive for Boom and his wife. A cell phone is a great idea and it does not have to be lost, he does have adults around him who could take some responsibility here, right?

I'm gonna ask that this thread be locked. I herby vow to NEVER post another thread of this nature on the Community Forums. I asked a simple question, knowing I'd get flamed, and yet I am still amazed at some of the judgemental posts here.

How can a post like the above be made when you know NOTHING about person?

It's a shame. I've been made out to be some sort of a monster by some people on here. I'm just a guy who doesn't have all the answers, looking for them, trying to keep the peace in a tough situation.

It's disheartening to see how judgemental, rude and short-sighted some people are. Says alot about the level of nastiness in our world today.

 

[MosMom]

People here have given you a very easy solution to your "tough" situation and you poopoo'd it. Divorce doesn't have to be tough when everyone (and I mean everyone) plays fair.

 

[cardaway]

Not too long ago the OP psoted what he thinks about the EX (not nice at all). It pretty clear what this is all about. IMO you got to wonder about a person who would want to try and keep away a dad actually trying to be part of his sons life despite the new step-dad's feelings.

 

[OctoberNinth]

He said earlier that the boy would lose it.

Not if he gets one of those old cell phones. It's hard to miss one of those. I bet he could get a great deal on it too.

 

[illuminati]

I assumed Malcom McDowell would be wealthy enough to afford a new style cell phone.

 

[phorsenuf]

People here have given you a very easy solution to your "tough" situation and you poopoo'd it. Divorce doesn't have to be tough when everyone (and I mean everyone) plays fair.

I agree Boomie. Everyone here offered very good advice on how to handle the whole situation, which I'm assuming why you posted to begin with. Why you choose not to heed the great advice is beyond me and that is what frustrates everyone. Alot of people take the time to try to help but there is always some reason to disagree with the advice.

I don't know what to tell you but alot of people do try to help.

 

[boomhauer]

I agree Boomie. Everyone here offered very good advice on how to handle the whole situation, which I'm assuming why you posted to begin with. Why you choose not to heed the great advice is beyond me and that is what frustrates everyone. Alot of people take the time to try to help but there is always some reason to disagree with the advice.

I don't know what to tell you but alot of people do try to help.

Oh my god!!!!!

I agreed calling at a specific time was a good idea.
I agreed, calling at bedtime was a good idea.

I just didn't agree about the cellphone!!!!!!

Woiuld you like me to lie and say I love the idea?????

 

[LadyShiva]

You're a guy? LadyShiva and you signed it Brandie?

What? You make no sense. Is it 4:20 in your timezone?

Brandie

 

[hydster]

You're a guy? LadyShiva and you signed it Brandie?

I think she meant she read boomhauers posts when he *boom* was newly married........but who knows...could be wrong again!

As for the phone issue I certainly cannot fathom why you can't get him a cell either and when you are out leave the phone at home or god forbid one of you adults carry it for him. This child has had his life turned upside down and his own father wants to talk to him and instead of being open to trying some of the suggestions given you say but but but....we can't, he can't, I can't.

Yes he's using cell minutes but don't you think this child has the right to talk to his own father? You may be around but you will never be his DAD. Is it such a huge deal that you can't just step away and let the child talk to his dad? How long can it take?? I mean really??? 5 min? 10? If you are in the movie your phone shouldn't be on anyway so really....is there truly a real issue here or are you having step-parent-annitis? Meaning you just want to be a pain for this guy.

Put yourself in the ex's position *I know you don't want to* but how would YOU feel?? It's hard to imagine now as your babies are still so little but honestly how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

There comes a time when you need to just accept the fact that you married a woman with a child and sometimes it's going to inconvenient as HELL but it's not the childs fault and ultimately HE is paying the price with silly issues like these!

 

[phorsenuf]

Oh my god!!!!!

I agreed calling at a specific time was a good idea.
I agreed, calling at bedtime was a good idea.

I just didn't agree about the cellphone!!!!!!

Woiuld you like me to lie and say I love the idea?????

Of course not but what if those times are inconvenient to the dad, then what would you propose happen?

 

[mickeyfan2]

Because we got rid of our landline and he calls my wife's cellphone. If we're out at dinner or at a movie, we don't want to have to answer the phone. He gets peeved if we don't answer.

Turn off the phone when it is not a good time for him to call.

Last night, my wife was taking a CPR class. Her phone rang 3 times in 30 minutes, 3 voicemails. By the time she got home, my step-son was asleep. Of course, she got the email.

Since you knew she was at a CPR class why did you not use your cell phone and have your step-son call his father before bed?

Or better yet, give your wife your cell and keep hers so when the call came he could talk to his dad.