Non-custodial parent phone calls to children

[ilovejack02]

What am I arguing? I think there have been some great ideas on here. I just don't think getting him his own cell phone is one of them.

Well here is another idea.. You can get another # added to your home line for free.. it will just have a different ring . Ask him to call that line.

For right now since this man just popped into his child's life then i think a prearranged time will be fine, but if he has any court rights.. it may not fly unless you have it in paper and legal.

If this man becomes a big part of the child's life you will prob need to let him have an all access pass to the child.. including phone calls.
I dont really see what the big deal about a prepaid cell phone is.. the mins would prob last quite a while since im sure the 6 yr old isnt having hour long conversations LOL . Leave the phone at home and tell him to call that # if no answer leave message.

 

[boomhauer]

It seems the majority of us here suggested the cell phone, which is the best solution, yet you had to find fault with that. Its not hard to figure out that either he leaves it at home or if you go out one of you carry it.

Hey - It's not my decisoin. It's between my wife and the father. If they wanna do that, it's up to them. Personally, I think they'll fight to the death over it, but I could be wrong.

 

[Agent Provocateur]

As I well know, in these situation, that's just how it goes. That's why courts make these decisions for you.

What can I say? No matter how I presented this ever-so-little issue, there would be some who would read it the wrong way.

"Ever-so-little" issues become great big giant issues when you perch them on top of an oversized drama llama.

 

[boomhauer]

Well here is another idea.. You can get another # added to your home line for free.. it will just have a different ring . Ask him to call that line.

For right now since this man just popped into his child's life then i think a prearranged time will be fine, but if he has any court rights.. it may not fly unless you have it in paper and legal.

If this man becomes a big part of the child's life you will prob need to let him have an all access pass to the child.. including phone calls.
I dont really see what the big deal about a prepaid cell phone is.. the mins would prob last quite a while since im sure the 6 yr old isnt having hour long conversations LOL . Leave the phone at home and tell him to call that # if no answer leave message.

He's been in his life all along. He has visitation every other weekend. He just recently started calling him. That's all that's changed.

I don't know - Maybe the cell phone idea will work. I'll run it by my wife and she what she says. I wouldn't do it, but that's just me.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I've actually graciously accepted many of the suggestions given here.

I think the issue is, no matter what I say, there will always be some who get their rocks off on disagreeing with me.

Oh yeah baby, your posts make me hot.

What about when we're out?

You know, I didn't want to get into this as some will just call it an excuse, but we've tried that. We'll answer the phone when we're out doing something, my step-son will say that, and his father will keep on talking. Almost as if he is doing it on purpose to try and annoy us.

Not by any means saying that he's calling his son to annoy us. I don't think that at all. Let me repest, I do NOT think that at all. Just saying, it seems like common sense that if we're out doing something, he would just say "OK, give me a call when you get home."

I'm not annoyed that he's calling. I think it's great. He should call his son. What I find annoying are the constant voicemails and emails asking where we are and why we didn't answer the phone.

I think setting up a pre-arranged time for him (or my step-son) to call makes the most sense.

As for getting him his own cellphone - HUGE mistake. He'd lose it the first day he had it.

Your step son's dad isnt Alec baldwin is it?

Note to self: Wait until the youngest turns 18 to get a divorce. Otherwise too many details to remember.

Mom, Dad let me just take this opportunity to say my hats off to you two. You guys got divorced when I was 8 and I dont remember a single issue with phone calls visitation or anything like that. If mom wanted to see me on Tuesday afternoon, she came over after work and got me. If she wanted me to stay with her for two weeks, I packed enough clothes to last two weeks. If dad had to go out of town unexpected I stayed with my mom. You two always got along, excepet for that time dad yelled at you when you showed up at the house with the guy you had an affair with. He never said so, but I am sure he feels bad about that.

Back on topic, divorce bad, set calling times good and a cell phone for the little guy good..

I thought of Alec Baldwin, too.

 

[phorsenuf]

He's been in his life all along. He has visitation every other weekend. He just recently started calling him. That's all that's changed.

I don't know - Maybe the cell phone idea will work. I'll run it by my wife and she what she says. I wouldn't do it, but that's just me.

Why wouldn't you do it? If its a nuisance how often he calls almost to the point of annoying why not do the most logical thing to correct the situation?

 

[JadenLayne]

Okay I don't know you at all so my opinion isn't based on anything but what I see........did I read correctly that this child is only 6? If so I feel horrible for him. He has a dad who is trying to talk to him but yet the mom and step-dad find that an inconveninece. Oh my god are you for real? This is a baby!!!!!! He's not a teenager or an older child and he won't understand all of this. Let his daddy talk to him. If your out to eat what is the huge deal???? If your at a movie simply have the little boy tell him that he will call him back.

It just amazes me that everyone, you, your wife and her ex aren't putting the one person first who needs to be there and that is this little boy!

Seems to me like ALOT of growing up needs to take place and it's not the 6 year old who needs to do it. Get the baby a cell phone and leave it out at home and then when you go somewhere either you or your wife carry it and hand it to him when it rings. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how easy that would be.

Sorry this thread just struck a nerve with me.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

Okay I don't know you at all so my opinion isn't based on anything but what I see........did I read correctly that this child is only 6? If so I feel horrible for him. He has a dad who is trying to talk to him but yet the mom and step-dad find that an inconveninece. Oh my god are you for real? This is a baby!!!!!! He's not a teenager or an older child and he won't understand all of this. Let his daddy talk to him. If your out to eat what is the huge deal???? If your at a movie simply have the little boy tell him that he will call him back.

It just amazes me that everyone, you, your wife and her ex aren't putting the one person first who needs to be there and that is this little boy!

Seems to me like ALOT of growing up needs to take place and it's not the 6 year old who needs to do it. Get the baby a cell phone and leave it out at home and then when you go somewhere either you or your wife carry it and hand it to him when it rings. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how easy that would be.

Sorry this thread just struck a nerve with me.

I agree. I never post on this poster's threads, but I'm downright rude for having an opinion that doesn't agree with his way of thinking.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Free mobile to mobile minutes would be an excellent idea. If the Father has a cell phone, he can probably add a line for around $12 a month with taxes.

This is exactly what my son's dad did. Of course I have a different carrier, but I'm fine with that.

I'm not annoyed that he's calling. I think it's great. He should call his son. What I find annoying are the constant voicemails and emails asking where we are and why we didn't answer the phone.

I think setting up a pre-arranged time for him (or my step-son) to call makes the most sense.

As for getting him his own cellphone - HUGE mistake. He'd lose it the first day he had it.

If my son's stepmother tried this, I'd hit the roof. I allow my son's father to call him any time he wants. I expect to be able to do the same when my son is visiting him.

What about when we're out?

Why can't your wife hold onto the phone while you're out? His mother or father can purchase a phone case that he can attach to his belt loop.

It doesn't matter what we say or what we suggest there will always been an excuse.

 

[illuminati]

If it is such a little deal? Why post it? From what I read here it looks like you know you will be argued with. If you don't like arguing, don't post. If the few responses that sympathize with you actually help, keep posting but don't complain.

It seems you have a history here that many many people know, not just a few. Maybe you should look inside yourself and ask why. I see you are a Bon Jovi fan. Maybe there is an inspirational song that could help you. The Hardest Part of the Night (when dad calls) would be a good one! Other good ones....

Silent Night, Never Say Goodbye, Always, Something for the Pain, Everyday, Misunderstood...

SO many Bon Jovi songs fitting for just this one post!

 

[Cindy's Mom]

Your step son's dad isnt Alec baldwin is it?

I VERY RARELY do a true Laugh out Loud to message boards, but OMG - I am dying over this......too too funny. hat tip to you... carry on

 

[ilovejack02]

He's been in his life all along. He has visitation every other weekend. He just recently started calling him. That's all that's changed.

I don't know - Maybe the cell phone idea will work. I'll run it by my wife and she what she says. I wouldn't do it, but that's just me.

He may have just started calling because the child has gotten older, little ones are hard to talk to on the phone lol!
Dont get much out of them at age 5 and under.
Can i ask why you think the a prepaid cell is a problem?

 

[WMMommy]

Boomhauer - Run and hide. No matter what you say, there are some who are just gonna tear you down.

Good luck.

 

[JadenLayne]

I'm back, LOL, this thread has really just struck a nerve with me. I can't believe that adults wouldn't bend over backwards to do anything that is best for a 6 year old!

In my opinion if you and your wife don't want to look at the obvious solution.....which is a cell phone KEPT BY YOU for the little boy and his daddy then the dad should have the right to inconveinence you anytime he wants to talk to his child. It's ALL ABOUT THE CHILD.......NOT YOU!!!!!!!!

Okay I'm done. This thread makes me fume.......to many people out there who don't put their children first!

 

[phorsenuf]

He may have just started calling because the child has gotten older, little ones are hard to talk to on the phone lol!
Dont get much out of them at age 5 and under.
Can i ask why you think the a prepaid cell is a problem?

He said earlier that the boy would lose it.

 

[poohandwendy]

As I well know, in these situation, that's just how it goes. That's why courts make these decisions for you.

What can I say? No matter how I presented this ever-so-little issue, there would be some who would read it the wrong way.

Read it the wrong way?

My DH and I are both products of divorces and blended families that resulted in this same BS... parents and step parents using petty issues in effort to control the relationship we had with our non-custodial parents and one-up themselves against the 'other team'. You just simply cannot and will not put yourself in the other persons shoes. Make no mistake, you may win control of these little battles but you are making huge mistakes over NOTHING. You and your wife (and most importantly, the kids...yours together and hers) will lose in the end.

A cell phone is a great idea, but go ahead...argue for the sake of arguing. Because there really isn't any way you can legitimately justify not getting a separate phone line for your SS to have unrestricted contact with his dad.

 

[poohandwendy]

He said earlier that the boy would lose it.

Yeah, so maybe the boy shouldn't have any possessions, not even school books. He could lose anything at anytime, so why take the chance?

 

[Oreo Cookie]

Okay I don't know you at all so my opinion isn't based on anything but what I see........did I read correctly that this child is only 6? If so I feel horrible for him. He has a dad who is trying to talk to him but yet the mom and step-dad find that an inconveninece. Oh my god are you for real? This is a baby!!!!!! He's not a teenager or an older child and he won't understand all of this. Let his daddy talk to him. If your out to eat what is the huge deal???? If your at a movie simply have the little boy tell him that he will call him back.

It just amazes me that everyone, you, your wife and her ex aren't putting the one person first who needs to be there and that is this little boy!

Seems to me like ALOT of growing up needs to take place and it's not the 6 year old who needs to do it. Get the baby a cell phone and leave it out at home and then when you go somewhere either you or your wife carry it and hand it to him when it rings. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how easy that would be.

Sorry this thread just struck a nerve with me.

I agree. The little boy needs to be put first, and what works for him is what matters most. I think the father should be able to speak with his son anytime. It is healthy for the child to know his father is there, and will be there for him.

I think your suggestion is a good one, get the son a cell phone, and when they are out the mom can carry it. Everyone wins. No need for this to bloom into a big issue.

 

[ilovejack02]

He said earlier that the boy would lose it.

I know he said that, . of course a 6 yr old would lose it, but my suggestion was too leave it at home or adults hold it, if no one answers then he needs to leave a message, just wondering why Boom thinks its a bad idea.

 

[LadyShiva]

Boomhauer, it feels to me that your posts now have their own doomsday cult following.

I read your posts as a newly married guy (who is a first-time dad of twins on top of that) trying to figure out all the rules that aren't written down that everybody already knows and everybody also knows WHY the rules are like they are. You, however, are getting SLAMMED for asking the why questions.

You are an outsider to the parental questions between your wife and her ex. Things are happening in that little world that make no sense because you have no experience in that arena, nor are you really consulted (which makes sense a little, but it also seems a little illogical). You're trying to get up to speed with all the rules, but frankly, your questions come off like newbie questions to the people who have seen it all, lived through it all, and by golly, were too broke to get the t-shirt. I say that not to knock you or your questions.

I don't think there's a book out there that's thick enough to give you all the answers you're going to need for the next 12 years + a lifetime, but I definitely wish you all the good luck you're going to need!

Brandie