Non-Catholic / Priest Advice

[disneygirl725]

Okay all.... according to my BF, I will have my bauble by Feb 7th (our 3 year anniversary).

We have decided to do a wedding at home with a possible honeymoon in WDW.

I'm Presbyterian and he's Catholic and I've agreed to have a Catholic wedding, and we will raise our future children Catholic. I plan on going through RICA at some point... but I'm studying for the CPA right now and there's just not enough time to go to the class and everything else.

We went to the church website, and they said before you book a reception facility you need to meet with a priest. I am really worried about this.

1) What if he won't marry us because I'm not Catholic
2) We live together. Several people have said just lie, but I just don't feel right doing that.

Now, if they won't marry us, we can go to one of 2 chapel's at local university's to get hitched. I went to a Catholic college which has a nice chapel and my mom is a graduate of the other college, which makes me eligible for either chapel. But then, you have to bring your own priest.

My friend got married at one by her uncle (she's Catholic and is married to someone who is Muslim). But her uncle is a priest! And even though she'll be one of my bridesmaids, I still feel weird about asking if her uncle would do this.

I'm just really worried about all of this.

I remember reading a thread on the disboards about this awhile ago. I was wondering if you or anyone you know had this problem and what they did about it.

Thanks in advance for all of the help!!!

 

[Davidsmommy]

Hi! I am not a Disney (or new lol) bride (we are celebrating our ten year anniversary this year), but I may be able to help a little.

My dh and I are both Catholic (baptised, first communion, confirmation), but we did live together before we were married. Our priest didn't mention it (and we didn't lie on our info sheets or anything). It was one of those things that wasn't embraced, but wasn't a huge deal either. We just didn't discuss it.

At pre-caina classes, some of the couples were going on and on about experimentation (sexually) within a relationship (they were kind-of clueless lol) - and the married couple who was running it kept saying "sure, once you are married that is fine" and the experimental couple kept saying "No, we do it NOW!" It was hilarious. Anyway, they didn't kick them out and they let them get married, so you should be fine (as you aren't anywhere near that bad).

My guess is all churches operate a bit differently, but my MIL is secretary at her church and she organizes all this stuff, and she says anyone can get married as long as they do the classes.

Don't worry - it will work out. And, congrats!!

 

[diswed0407]

I don't think it matters that you are not yet Catholic. My sister's husband was not Catholic at the time of the wedding, and they were still married in a Catholic church. Also, my fiance and I live together now, and are getting married by a Catholic priest. He doesn't seem to have nearly as big a problem with it as my dad! But, I wouldn't lie to the priest.. Just be honest. Hope this helps!

 

[Tiggerific04]

DF and I are both Catholic and we looked into getting married in the church. He was never confirmed, so I was told that we could have a ceremony without the mass, just like they do for couples where one person is not Catholic. So as far as I know, you can still be married but just not have the full mass. As far as living together, I'm told it depends on the priest and parish. The priest we spoke to was very liberal about things like that. Good luck!

 

[Kim10110]

MMM im confused now from what i was always told both people needed to be catholic to get married in a church. i know my sisters husband had to go through classes and get baptized.....

 

[j_lehr]

When my finacee got married the first time, he was catholic and his ex-wife was not. They were able to get married at his church. I think as long as one or the other is catholic, you can get married in a catholic church. I am not sure if his wedding was just a ceremony or a full mass, but I think it was a full mass.

Don't lie about living together.

I moved in with my boyfriend the summer of 2005. He was catholic and faithfully went to church every Sunday. I was baptised catholic but wasn't raised cathlic. I decided to go through the RCIA program to finish my sacraments. When our priest found out we were living together, he asked for us to make an appointment to talk to him. His concern was giving me my sacraments when we were living in sin so he wanted us to explain so he could feel justified that he was doing the proper thing. I told him, I moved in with Paul before I decided to commit to the church and for financial reasons it would be hard to move out now. He was really cool about it and said he realizes times are different now. I think most priests are very understanding if you just talk to them. I received all my sacraments in April of this year. My boyfriend finally proposed last Friday.

The RCIA program was nice. I realize it's different everywhere but if you have questions, feel free to message me.

Good Luck & Congratulations!
Jes

 

[disneygirl725]

Thanks so much for all of your advice. It makes me feel better.

I'm just such a worrier!! I guess now all is left to do is wait for that ring and make the appt with the priest. I already have planned out a few locations for the reception. We'll just have to go visit them and price them.

Now I just have to figure out a way to Disney up my wedding!!! I'm not going to go over the top.... but I have to figure out a way to incorporate it all.

 

[smoof]

Catholics can marry non-Catholics, no biggie. I agree with the previous posters, don't lie about living together. I read a few years ago that the Chicago Diocees was not thrilled about living together, but accepting and tailored pre-Cana around the fact the couple lived together. Congratulations!

 

[2006 Disney Mom]

'