I could have him diagnosed but have chosen not to. He's got the black/white perfectionist thing going on, as well as the gifted aspect. His social issues are in some ways minor compared to some of the other kids we know that have officially been diagnosed with it. He's a blurter, both at home and school which causes major issues and socially will cause more at school if it continues. Single minded, obsessively so, to a fault, which also causes issues. prone to extreme meltdowns at times with things dont' go his way (head hitting, hiding, growling) that are incredibly socially uncool, but he has made huge improvement. that said socially he does pretty well all things considered. A couple of close friends, girls in particular like him as well. It does help that he's in an insulated program and I worry about middles school but am comforted by the fact that all the kids in his program, will move there with him and they are likely to share many classes. Scouts helps as well..
Hey Cynthia...
Eric is a great kid... we both know that... You need to do what works for him and your family... the most important thing is that you "understand" him and his needs and you help him with them... if he needs social skills work (and all kids are differerent... and have varying degrees of need... than you work on that... a lot of Aspies (if he is) with a gifted diagnosis need extra help with their executive planning skills...because they aren't naturally very organized in their work execution - and like always -if you've met one Aspie, you've met one Aspie... they may be similar in some ways but everyone has their own unique personality... Organized groups-activities.... are good -they give that structured time to socialize... and the rules of social interaction are pretty clear...
He can be aware at times that what he is doing isn't socially appropriate but still, by in large, lacks the ability to pull himself out of it once the behavior has started.
But the fact that he is aware of it is itself a big deal... you can work from there... it's a lot harder if he doesn't even get that he's being socially inappropriate...
I guess for Eric, I'm not sure what help an official diagnoses would really do. We have done therapy and may continue that but I've not seen it help much. Really was focusing on some of the perfectionist issues that can cause the meltdowns but Eric took the sessions as an hour to complain about Evan.
Oh wow- that is pretty funny about him complaining about Evan... You have to learn to laugh at some of this stuff... Diagnosis is mixed bag ... it can be helpful when used in the right way...and always depending on the school district can help get services that many kids need but it can sometimes create preset expectations in some teacher's heads than can be bad or good depending on the teacher and the school...
So...didn't really see much improvement. I am grateful to have an understanding of his issues and how to support him and for teachers, friends and family that by in large get it.
Well if you ever need any suggestions for books or good websites or to talk I'm here...
On another note. I wish Luke's existed. Sigh.