No one told me being a mother could hurt this much

[asta]

I just put my oldest daughter on a plane to California. I am excited for her new job but having a hard time with the distance and the idea of her being all alone. I am physically hurting. She has not lived at home for several years but her apartment was close by so we saw her often. I had no idea I would ache this much.

 

[gemini2727]

I'm so sorry Asta, that must be so hard.

My oldest started college this year, and I knew I would miss her, but it really was so much worse than I anticipated at first. Honestly, I was so sad, and she wasn't even very far away, so I can surely sympathize.

I hope as time passes, it gets easier for you.

 

[Kitty 34]

I know how you're feeling. We put our youngest DS (22) on a plane to Texas several years ago to join the Air Force. It hurt like heck, cried for days but years later we smile on his accomplishments as hopefully you will, too.

 

[Bluestars]

I just put my oldest daughter on a plane to California. I am excited for her new job but having a hard time with the distance and the idea of her being all alone. I am physically hurting. She has not lived at home for several years but her apartment was close by so we saw her often. I had no idea I would ache this much.

It's hard. Hopefully, it will get easier for you once she settles in and makes friends. When my youngest went away to college, it was very difficult and a big adjustment I found that focusing on doing something fun helped. I like to cruise, so planning a cruise with my husband helps me focus on happy things. Maybe you can FaceTime with her often so that she doesn't feel so far away. I always talk to my kids on Facebook and it helps.

 

[kimblebee]

I dread when my daughter moves out. She's only 16 now but wants to move out when she's 18..I want her to wait til she's 30.

I think I'll be like you, OP, and physically ache when she's gone.

 

[Poohlove]

I get so sad just thinking about either one of my kids leaving home. They will be 17 and 19 next month, I know its a matter of time. I always tell them they can live with me forever or that we will find a triplex somewhere lol.

Hugs to you, we are all here to help and to keep you company

 

[LisaR]

My oldest just moved out of state a week ago Thursday. I thought it was hard when she went away to college, but this was sooooo much worse. I am very thankful for all the ways we can keep in touch. But I can't help but think about the future and all the things that will change like just hanging out together or the holidays when work schedules prohibit visits. I've been in a funk since she left. So happy for her and proud of her, but I'm going to miss her so much. Hang in there.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I can't imagine. Big hugs. It sounds like you'll have reason to be very proud of her accomplishments once the sting wears off.

 

[asta]

My oldest just moved out of state a week ago Thursday. I thought it was hard when she went away to college, but this was sooooo much worse. I am very thankful for all the ways we can keep in touch. But I can't help but think about the future and all the things that will change like just hanging out together or the holidays when work schedules prohibit visits. I've been in a funk since she left. So happy for her and proud of her, but I'm going to miss her so much. Hang in there.

I agree. I have sent two away to college out of state but for some reason this is much harder. College has an ending point of time but work seems more permanent.

 

[adisneyaunt]

Awww. I know what you mean.
Hard but you must be so proud that she is a Confident person taking control of her life/career. Congrats Mom!
Me... after my ds was abroad for last year of university ( South Korea) and away for the university years before that... he's come back home... working , while he decides on where he ll continue his education ( which will likely be out of state and I'm "praying" Stateside)
Gotta say... im enjoying having him back home but at same time looking forward to see his future ...,
Best of luck to ur daughter OP.

 

[AmazingGrace]

My oldest dss are fixing to sign a lease for their first apartment. I'm so sad, yet excited.

 

[ols386]

I'm so sorry Asta. I think there are many aspects of being a mother that hurt. Like when our kids are sick, when they leave home for the first time, when they suffer disappointments even as adults, and many other times. At least these are things for me personally that hurt.

 

[jdb in AZ]

It was hard when DD moved 150 miles away for her DH's college. Now they live on the east coast with my grand babies, and that's even harder. Grateful for modern tech: e-mail, texts, Skype, Facebook, and cell phones, and planes. That's much better than 100+ years ago when a family moved and never saw their parents again.

 

[mnrose]

It was hard when DD moved 150 miles away for her DS' college. Now they live on the east coast with my grand babies, and that's even harder. Grateful for modern tech: e-mail, texts, Skype, Facebook, and cell phones, and planes. That's much better than 100+ years ago when a family moved and never saw their parents again.

Yup. That's a good point. We have a remarkably easy time keeping in touch with each other with all the modern inventions! Much better than when I moved to California from Minnesota when I graduated from law school. Back then, it was phone calls, which cost $$$ (remember long distance?). Now, we can call, text, FaceTime, etc, all for virtually free.

 

[arminnie]

When I was 40 and living 300 miles away from my parents I accepted a job in California - thousands of miles away. My mother really tried to put a big guilt trip on me. I had to remind her that she moved to California when she was 21 (WWII). Her parents had no phone and she never got to go home - even when she got married and had me.

It so worked out for the best. I traveled a lot on business and was able to stop for weekends as I crossed the country (even saved my company money as back then it was so much cheaper to fly if you stayed over a weekend). Plus when my parents got older I was able to telecommute and spend weeks at a time with them.

 

[Magpie]

Since the day my eldest was born, I've been reminding myself that my job is to ultimately put myself out of a job.

Congratulations on successfully raising a fully functional, competent, independent human being!

 

[bethbuchall]

This is what I wrote just over a year ago when my daughter moved away: "From the moment that tiny newborn is placed in your arms, the separation has begun, and the goal is to raise a happy, self-reliant, independent person. Mission: accomplished (for the second time). I'm happy and excited for my daughter as she starts this next phase of the journey, and proud of the adults my children have become, so why are there tears streaming down my face? It's because a piece of my heart has broken off to follow her down the road, just as it did two years ago when my first ventured out. And, man, that hurts even through the joy. But the good news is that the heart heals and swells with happiness as you get to share in their new lives. Matthew and Kristin, Laura and Marcus, take care of yourselves and each other. And know that this home is always here for you!"

It's difficult, but it gets better! Great job!

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

When I finished college and decided to stay in Virginia while my parents lived in California, my mom sent me a beautiful framed print. It says:

There are two things we give our children. One is roots. The other is wings.

I had no idea how difficult it was on her until now. My DS19 is halfway through his 2nd year of college. He is planning on working in finance in one of the big finance hubs on the East Coast - DC, New York, Philly, Boston. Every time I think about my baby off on his own in the big city, I force myself to remember the print my mom gave me and try to remember that wings are good.

 

[asta]

This is what I wrote just over a year ago when my daughter moved away: "From the moment that tiny newborn is placed in your arms, the separation has begun, and the goal is to raise a happy, self-reliant, independent person. Mission: accomplished (for the second time). I'm happy and excited for my daughter as she starts this next phase of the journey, and proud of the adults my children have become, so why are there tears streaming down my face? It's because a piece of my heart has broken off to follow her down the road, just as it did two years ago when my first ventured out. And, man, that hurts even through the joy. But the good news is that the heart heals and swells with happiness as you get to share in their new lives. Matthew and Kristin, Laura and Marcus, take care of yourselves and each other. And know that this home is always here for you!"

It's difficult, but it gets better! Great job!

This is beautiful. It captures the pain and the happiness of seeing our children move on.

I am thankful for all of the encouraging posts. You guys have helped me through a tough day.

 

[xlxo]

Skype makes great distances much closer.