No candles for teachers? Why? And does this count

[Lucky'sMom]

I have my flame suit on...

I have to say I am finding this thread rather DIStasteful at this point.
I mean goodness, isn't it "good enough" that a student/parent gifted rather than saying what a waste another Mug or candle or whatever. Talk about UNgrateful....Perhaps parents and students should just STOP giving...how about a handwritten letter to say thanks for being a great teacher, instead?
And how about More teachers sending home notes to Kids saying that they appreciate their hard work or creativity, something positive or whatever.... A Positive letter home...wonderful!
This thread has turned into that commercial where the UNgrateful girl starts singing about the gifts she does not want (like the needlepoint pillow from her aunt).
Sorry, but the "gift" is what it is.... something/anything to show appreciation rather than trying to give the "best" or most elaborate or most important needed item...seriously ...talk about distasteful....

And yeah, we have teachers in our family and not 1 that would be so DIStasteful as to say that they got a wasted pin or mousepad or mug or candle
....donate your unwanted items ...Im sure THAT person wont find it so offensive, perhaps even be grateful to have it .

Here's my take on it: If you sincerely want to give a gift to someone, why don't you care if you are giving the person something they can actually use? I am not a teacher, and I wouldn't want thirty mugs or candles. It doesn't mean I wouldn't appreciate the thought, but isn't it more considerate to think about what they actually could use?

 

[crisi]

I have my flame suit on...

I have to say I am finding this thread rather DIStasteful at this point.
I mean goodness, isn't it "good enough" that a student/parent gifted rather than saying what a waste another Mug or candle or whatever. Talk about UNgrateful....Perhaps parents and students should just STOP giving...how about a handwritten letter to say thanks for being a great teacher, instead?
And how about More teachers sending home notes to Kids saying that they appreciate their hard work or creativity, something positive or whatever.... A Positive letter home...wonderful!
This thread has turned into that commercial where the UNgrateful girl starts singing about the gifts she does not want (like the needlepoint pillow from her aunt).
Sorry, but the "gift" is what it is.... something/anything to show appreciation rather than trying to give the "best" or most elaborate or most important needed item...seriously ...talk about distasteful....

And yeah, we have teachers in our family and not 1 that would be so DIStasteful as to say that they got a wasted pin or mousepad or mug or candle
....donate your unwanted items ...Im sure THAT person wont find it so offensive, perhaps even be grateful to have it .

I don't know - I really don't like these sorts of generic gifts - don't like giving them or getting them - but like others in this thread I'm always gracious to the person who gave it (and I'll gift them when its expected - to me, these sorts of gifts are like tipping - abhor the custom, but I tip very well). At the same time, when I get one of these "token" gifts that I don't want and is likely to hit the trash or goodwill, my thought is that the giver of the gift could have done better with their resources. A lot of families are really struggling, and the $20 that is in the budget for token gifts to teachers and coaches and the mailman could be spent a LOT better. And a lot of teachers are really struggling, and $3 spent on a coffee mug could have meant not having to use a dried out whiteboard marker - or buy one out of pocket.

It isn't that it isn't "good enough" - its just that so often its a complete waste when there are so many needs.

(Our district went to a policy where you cannot give teachers "personal" gifts - only things that can be used in a classroom. Teachers didn't have enough kleenex or post it notes - but had enough teacher themed Christmas ornaments to decorate six trees).

 

[Marionnette]

I have my flame suit on...

I have to say I am finding this thread rather DIStasteful at this point.
I mean goodness, isn't it "good enough" that a student/parent gifted rather than saying what a waste another Mug or candle or whatever. Talk about UNgrateful....Perhaps parents and students should just STOP giving...how about a handwritten letter to say thanks for being a great teacher, instead?
And how about More teachers sending home notes to Kids saying that they appreciate their hard work or creativity, something positive or whatever.... A Positive letter home...wonderful!
This thread has turned into that commercial where the UNgrateful girl starts singing about the gifts she does not want (like the needlepoint pillow from her aunt).
Sorry, but the "gift" is what it is.... something/anything to show appreciation rather than trying to give the "best" or most elaborate or most important needed item...seriously ...talk about distasteful....

And yeah, we have teachers in our family and not 1 that would be so DIStasteful as to say that they got a wasted pin or mousepad or mug or candle
....donate your unwanted items ...Im sure THAT person wont find it so offensive, perhaps even be grateful to have it .

I totally understand where you are coming from. With all the comments from teachers who don't want candles, home-baked goodies, mugs, classroom supplies, etc., I really wonder why any parent would even bother making the effort to send a gift at all.

When my kids were in school, the classroom mom would usually send a letter asking for $5 twice a year - once at Christmas and then again at the end of the year. Of course, it was a voluntary donation and every kids signed the card whether their parents had contributed to the gift or not. The money was usually spent to purchase a Visa gift card. And yet, I've even read posts on this board from parents who offer resistance to this idea as well.

I get the impression that there is no winning. I am so glad that my kids are grown.

 

[jackie101]

When my kids were in school, the classroom mom would usually send a letter asking for $5 twice a year - once at Christmas and then again at the end of the year. Of course, it was a voluntary donation and every kids signed the card whether their parents had contributed to the gift or not. The money was usually spent to purchase a Visa gift card. And yet, I've even read posts on this board from parents who offer resistance to this idea as well.

I get the impression that there is no winning. I am so glad that my kids are grown.[/QUOTE]

This is what our school does.

 

[Moomduck1]

My parents were both teachers. They always appreciated anything, but after 30 years of teaching, gifts do pile up. They always liked the "consumable" gifts the best, as they got used up and did not end up in the attic after a while.

I would not worry so much about giving the gifts. If you like what you are giving the teachers, then you should give it. If the teacher, or anyone for that matter, doesn't like the gift, or has an allergy to it, or doesn't shop at that particular store, they could always regift it.

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

I think presents should be purchased with the receiver in mind whenever possible, but it should also besomething the giver enjoys giving. A candle is a gift I normally would not get for a teacher. I am allergic to most fragrances, so it is not one I would appreciate either. However, DD has noticed that her teacher always has a candle going in the classroom and she is always drinking coffee in the morning. As a result, so wants to get her teacher a candle and coffee. In that spirit, I'll let Alison pick a Yankee Candle, and we'll attach a gift card to one of the local coffee shops.

 

[daisyduck123]

Are these ok as a gift to the teacher? It's either this or 10$ Starbucks gift cards. If it matters she has 2 teachers.

It's pretty, but I prefer the gift card. (1st grade teacher, over 20 years now)

 

[scra]

I have my flame suit on...

I have to say I am finding this thread rather DIStasteful at this point.
I mean goodness, isn't it "good enough" that a student/parent gifted rather than saying what a waste another Mug or candle or whatever. Talk about UNgrateful....Perhaps parents and students should just STOP giving...how about a handwritten letter to say thanks for being a great teacher, instead?
And how about More teachers sending home notes to Kids saying that they appreciate their hard work or creativity, something positive or whatever.... A Positive letter home...wonderful!
This thread has turned into that commercial where the UNgrateful girl starts singing about the gifts she does not want (like the needlepoint pillow from her aunt).
Sorry, but the "gift" is what it is.... something/anything to show appreciation rather than trying to give the "best" or most elaborate or most important needed item...seriously ...talk about distasteful....

And yeah, we have teachers in our family and not 1 that would be so DIStasteful as to say that they got a wasted pin or mousepad or mug or candle
....donate your unwanted items ...Im sure THAT person wont find it so offensive, perhaps even be grateful to have it .

I feel like teachers and other school professionals in this thread are being really misunderstood - it is not that we don't appreciate gifts and notes - as many of us have said multiple times, we appreciate ANY recognition of the hard work and often money we put into our jobs. I have not said that I dislike the gifts or that I don't want them or even that I expect them. Just that the safest gifts to give teachers tend to be notes and gift cards in small amounts.

As for donating or re-gifting, I believe that is standard practice among people who receive duplicate items as gifts at any time, teacher or not.

Last, as far as teachers sending home notes praising children's performance and effort, those already exist. They are called report cards.

 

[torinsmom]

Two reasons I don't like candles...

1) Many of those strong scents give me severe headaches

2) I have 4 cats and would prefer my house didn't burn down.

That being said, when I get candles as gifts, I give a sincere thank you. I am thankful for the thought behind every gift. I don't throw candles, mugs, or scented lotions out; I put them in the teacher's lounge for other teachers to enjoy. I do the same with live plants, because I have a black thumb

 

[mjkacmom]

I have 4 kids... 4 teachers, 2 fulltime teaching assistants in the younger 2 classes, 1 wonderful principle, and 1 super teacher who is the gym/music teacher she is ALSO the librarian AND then ends her days with running the afterschool program my children attend until I get off of work I<3 her! = 8 gifts. I purchased each a yummy scented hand sanitzer from Bath & Body Works for $1 ea. and a cute mug from Michaels with their initials also $1 which I plan on filling with Dove Chocolates. Then my kids and I were going to make stress balls out of balloons and corn starch for each teacher and maybe also making rice socks for heating in the microwave. We do not have extra $ for buying everyone a GC but would like to show our appreciation. After reading some of these comments and comments from other threads from both teachers and others I feel like maaaayyybe I would be wasting both mine and my childrens time for unappreciated & unwanted gifts? Maybe we should focus on making these items for a womens shelter?

You sound bitter, but people here are just being truthful. I'm sure teachers do feel guilty about re-gifting endless mugs, and many probably do get donated to those in need. My good friend teachers in a poor district, and would LOVE, more than anything, to receive a note. Why not take the suggestion of writing the teachers a heartfelt note, and/or have your kids do the same? It will cost you absolutely nothing, and they will be SO appreciated by the teachers! For special teachers, I write letters to the principal, and cc the teacher and superintendent - I'm sure they mean more to the teacher than my gc.

 

[Marshay]

FWIW --

Every time I ask a teacher what they would like (either my sister who teaches 3rd grade, my daughter's teachers or just a friend who is a teacher), they ALWAYS say gift cards. They don't want more "stuff" but would love gift cards to restaurants, movies, craft stores, teacher stores, grocery stores, etc.

I figure they have 15-25 kids in their class and 15-25 home-made/craft/stuff bought in store adds up to a lot of things they don't need. Whereas $150-300+ in gift cards makes an awesome impact and something useful for them.

So now I always get a gift card and have my daughter make a homemade card and write something in the card about what she likes about her class/teacher/school.

 

[Marshay]

My good friend teachers in a poor district, and would LOVE, more than anything, to receive a note. Why not take the suggestion of writing the teachers a heartfelt note, and/or have your kids do the same? It will cost you absolutely nothing, and they will be SO appreciated by the teachers! For special teachers, I write letters to the principal, and cc the teacher and superintendent - I'm sure they mean more to the teacher than my gc.

You and I wrote at the same time. Yes, having a note is a great idea! (I haven't read the entire thread so glad someone else said this too.)

I'd go so far as to say, take those $3 the PP spent on the mug, sanitizer and balloon/corn starch and just give that as a gift card.

Personally, I would rather enjoy and can use the $3 than a mug and stress balls. And most likely someone else got a gift card at the same place so that $3 can add up to something the teacher can enjoy and/or use for class.

That's just my 2 cents...

 

[daisyduck123]

I'd go so far as to say, take those $3 the PP spent on the mug, sanitizer and balloon/corn starch and just give that as a gift card.

Yes. YES. YES.

 

[cinnamon-sugah]

I don't know any teacher who actually eats homemade edibles.

You haven't been to my school then! One of the MOST looked forward to events at my school is the annual "cookie exchange". All of the parents bring in trays of cookies which are set up in the media center. The PTA gives us a holiday platter or container and we get to go around and fill it up. BAM- Just like that my holiday "baking" is done.

As for the other gifts, if it is something I don't care for, I can always re-gift it which saves me the money I would have spent on that gift! (I usually save them for all of the youth group parties that my teenager needs a $5 gift for!)

 

[KennesawNemo]

I am not a teacher.

However, I don't like candels, lotions, perfumes, bath products, frames or mugs as gifts. DH used to buy me things like those for Valentine, B-day or anniversary. It took me many years to make him realize that I would much prefer a dinner together or a family brunch out than these gifts.

I appreciate how thoughtful he was, but, if I don't like something, I don't like something. The thoughtfulness behind it does not change my likes or preference.

I guess the same apply to the teachers. While the act of giving a gift should always be appreciated, I don't see anything wrong for the teachers to not like the actual gift. If you want both your act of gifting and the actual gift to be appreciated, then go with a GC. That's what I do with most occasions every year.

That being said, DH is a college professor. After all these years I've trained him, he still gives two students who scored highest in his class a mug every semester. I always told him he should go with a $5 starbucks gift card, but he never gets it,

 

[2Pirates2Princesses]

I have 4 kids... 4 teachers, 2 fulltime teaching assistants in the younger 2 classes, 1 wonderful principle, and 1 super teacher who is the gym/music teacher she is ALSO the librarian AND then ends her days with running the afterschool program my children attend until I get off of work I<3 her! = 8 gifts. I purchased each a yummy scented hand sanitzer from Bath & Body Works for $1 ea. and a cute mug from Michaels with their initials also $1 which I plan on filling with Dove Chocolates. Then my kids and I were going to make stress balls out of balloons and corn starch for each teacher and maybe also making rice socks for heating in the microwave. We do not have extra $ for buying everyone a GC but would like to show our appreciation. After reading some of these comments and comments from other threads from both teachers and others I feel like maaaayyybe I would be wasting both mine and my childrens time for unappreciated & unwanted gifts? Maybe we should focus on making these items for a womens shelter?

I can understand where you are coming from and this thread is giving me some insight. Every year I find myself having anxieties over holiday gifts for teachers. I also have four children and two of my kids have multiple teachers, class aides, and specialists. Also, there are the school bus drivers, sports coaches, troop leaders, dance instructors, music instructors....the list goes on I know that gift cards are the preferred gift of choice for many, but $5 or $10 gift cards for everyone really adds up. I've also done homemade gifts in the past and I've often wondered what really became of those gifts, especially considering the amount of time put into making them . It's a tough predicament for our family even though ideally it really shouldn't be.

 

[MSSANDRA]

No matter what gift I receive from a child, they are truly going to think I love it and it is the BEST thing they could have ever have gotten. I am also grateful to any parent that remembered me in whatever way fits the budget of their home. I also feel guilty when the gift they spent money on simply does not work for me or my family. It is soooo hard to know your child's teacher. As for me, I LOVE to get Christmas ornaments. My tree is full of keepsakes from many kids for many years. Some teachers have special interest trees and these ornaments would never be used. My sister LOVES every candle she gets, AND the ones I get as I can not even take it into my house unlit without causing one of my boys a trip to the dr. My boys attended the preschool where I am now director and I truly did know their teachers so they always got pajamas from my boys. A gift I KNOW they liked. Once they got in school however, it went to gift cards.

 

[disneychrista]

So I guess plan C is to just hand out cash

Or go to plan STOP THE INSANITY! Why are we buying gifts for people we don't know well enough to actually know what they want?

 

[Deb & Bill]

About 40 years ago, when I was an elementary teacher, I got two gifts that I thought were outstanding. This was long before gift cards were even invented. One kiddo wanted to give me toasted/sugared pecans in a glass jar. His mom even apologized for the gift, but they were excellent. She included the recipe for the pecans.

The other gift I still use to this day. The mom found a small hammer and painted the handle with a strawberry and country style decorations. It became my kitchen hammer and I use it to hammer in nails to hang pictures, do minor repairs, etc. I think she had a strawberry dishtowel with it which I long ago lost or used or tossed because it was worn out. But the hammer is still in my kitchen drawer.

 

[deedeecee]

I have seen many people say candles are no nos for teachers. I make these

http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_fullxfull.273878040.jpg

This isn't my photo but this is exactly what I make (I make jewelry too but silver rings are quite expensive now).

I had planned on giving dd's preschool teachers either one of these or a set of two (each cost me about 4$ but takes 3-5 hours to make depending. To purchase one is usually between 25-35 I personally don't sell them)

Are these ok as a gift to the teacher? It's either this or 10$ Starbucks gift cards. If it matters she has 2 teachers.

To answer the OP's questions (though I'm repeating previous posts, I'm sure):
I think there are 2 main reasons why teachers might not be a fan of candles. 1) Fragrance and/or 2) Being inundated with candles and other knick-knack type items.

Does your gift count? Well, if the reason is fragrance, then no, your gift doesn't apply. If the reason is the inundation of knick-knacks, then sadly your gift does apply.

Are your gifts OK to give a teacher? Absolutely. I think most teachers are thrilled to be appreciated. Give us a gift and we're touched and delighted. I think the worst part about a gift like that is not being able to use it, especially since you put a lot of time into it.

But since you mentioned it's either this, or a Starbucks gift card, I vote gift card all the way.