Nice boss has decided I should tell a co worker she stinks!

[Disney Dee]

I couldn't believe he put this job on me! I am the certified trainer, i am supposed to train how to do a job, not how to shower!How do I tell her she needs to take a bath, or use deodorant !!! He had the nerve to hire a friend of his instead of promoting me to Lead position, let his friend tell someone they have BO. When I told him that he said it was because the stinky co worker likes me and doesn't like the Lead. He did say I could wait till Monday in case she decides on her own to bathe. Grrrrrrr

 

[olena]

Sure knows how to delegate, doesn't he?

If it bothers him, he should tell her.

 

[mowsie dreamer]

Well, that just...ummmmm....stinks! Sorry, I just couldn't resist!

I don't blame you for being angry about this assignment. As the boss, it is his responsibility to deal with this sort of thing, not yours. And it certainly should fall to the Lead position to do before coming to you. It is just plain ridiculous that he is having you do this because the person likes you. Sounds like your boss needs to take some management courses.

If you are forced to do this, I would be sure to say that Mr. XX asked you to talk to her.

 

[ncligs]

Originally posted by Disney Dee
I am the certified trainer, i am supposed to train how to do a job, not how to shower!How do I tell her she needs to take a bath, or use deodorant !!!

"Good luck".....

 

[dandave]

If you figure out a good way to tell her, please share.
The kid down the street is absolutely rotten everytime he comes over. My 8 year old doesn't even want to play with him anymore.
I can't say anything to him without embarrassing him, and I don't really know his parents. I am currently out of Lysol from spraying after that child when he leaves. I feel so sorry for him, but it is just disgusting. I'm hoping maybe his teacher will send a note home.

 

[RUDisney]

Dandave, your problem sounds easier to fix. With a child, you can always ask if he's ever heard of using deoderant. You can say that he's probably seen his parents use it. You can explain that as people get older, they need to use it so they don't smell bad. You can kindly suggest to him that he might talk to his parents about using it himself. You don't have to come right out and say, "you stink." You can be kinder about guiding a child to do what's right. You'll really be doing him a service by suggesting this. Maybe Mom and Dad are in denial about such a young child having to use deoderant and this can give them the push that they need to take some action.

As for Disney Dee, you have a bigger problem. If you are this person's friend, you can tell her that coworkers are talking about how she smells. You can put it that you care about her and don't want to hear the comments and laughter at her expense.

Yes, your boss is a creep for assigning you this task. It is her boss's job to fix this... not yours. But, if her boss and your boss are men, they may feel uncomfortable about telling her themselves. However, they should also respect your feelings about not wanting to talk to her. They are putting you between a rock and a hard place.

 

[Disney Dee]

i fully intend to blame it on the boss AND I may even blame the new lead (tee hee) . It really ticks me off that i am good for the dirty work, (I have a great repore with co workers) but not the promotion I was the acting lead before boss gave it to his buddy, and he still wants me to do all i did before WITHOUT the pay or title because his friend has NO people skills! For that matter, no skills at all, I am training the lead to be a lead .

 

[dandave]

RUDisney, Trust me, it's not just a lack of anti-perspirant. I do not think he bathes very often. I feed him and do my best for him when he comes over.
He hasn't been over in several days. The last time he was wearing these filthy socks and no shoes. He left his odor on the couch and in every room he entered. Like I said, I feel bad for him.

 

[Robin]

Hmm.... Seeing that you will soon be an expert in this subject matter. Can you please tell my Grandma that she stinks??


We have been telling her for years.. but maybe if we had an outsider inform her it would work.

 

[TIGGERSMOM]

We had this same problem with a coworker a few months ago.

Are you sure it's a hygeine problem and not a medical one? Some medications & medical problems can cause body odor, bad breath etc..

We almost got in serious trouble for writing a letter to this person before making a medical inquiry. These things are covered under ADA so tread lightly unless you are 100% sure it's poor hygeine and not medical.

On the other hand, I had a very good frined who reeked constantly. We just started leaving her soap samples - shampoo samples. We even gave her a gift just because she was a good friend. It was a basket from Bath & body works. After she used it we kept reenforcing how lovely she smelled. 10 years later and never a problem since.

Maybe your boss could name her employye of the week.

Also is this in your job title - if I wasn't the supervisor no way I would say anything to anybody.

 

[Micca]

I had to tell a co-worker he had bad body odor. I really dreaded doing it. I approached it in the most subtle way I could, but I had to let him know it was really noticeable on a consistent basis. He was shocked, but changed his habits right away. I promised I would never bring it up again and we could act liked the conversation never happened.

 

[Otimon]

How about buying a deodorent (the clean air will be worth the price), putting it in an envelope with her name on it and leaving it where she'll find it (her desk or locker). If she has any sense at all she'll get the message and you won't have to go through actually telling her.

Best wishes.

 

[Sugarbaby]

dandave, the child sounds like he is neglected. In most states you can report this to Child Protective Services with your local PD anonymously. Who knows what happens at his home. Your home might be a safe haven for him. Do you think he gets fed at home? Someone needs to act as an advocate for this poor little guy. If you don't want to contact CPS,maybe you could contact the guidance counselor.

 

[Disney Dee]

She doesn't have a medical reason for the oder. She was asked last year about it when the guard complained when she lifted her arms going through security. At that time, it was handled rather badly, a trouble maker who was not part of management actually went up to her and said she needed to change deodorant! It was not handled right at all, but it did work for about a yr.

No, its not really my job to tell her, I am lower management, just the Certified Trainer, then again my boss is a male, so I think my telling her would be nicer. Then again, why not have the lead tell her, she is female, but not well liked and has only been with the company afew months. My co workers think of me as their boss because as I said before, I was stand in for the lead before she was hired.

There is no easy way to handle this, but I suppose I am the best one to do it, but it will be hard, and I resent my boss asking me to!

By the way, the deoderant thing was done awhile back to another person I worked with. He was left a bar of soap, roll of deoderant, and a tube of toothpaste in his locker! He never did a thing to change, didn't seem to care, he doesn't work for the company anymore, rumor has it, he was let go for his hygeine neglect!

 

[MerryPoppins]

I like the good-smelling soap in a basket idea. It gets the idea across by reinforcing the good smell after she uses it.

I wouldn't want to have to tell a co-worker that they smelled bad. Glad it's you instead of me. Confrontational things are not my style. Hope you find a kind way of getting through to her. Best of luck to you. Let us know how it goes.

 

[Disney Dee]

Don't you think giving her a basket of smell good stuff anonumously will make her feel worse? I guess anyway its done will hurt her feelings

 

[MerryPoppins]

I think it could be from you if you could think of a reason for the gift. I don't know anyone who would be hurt by getting a nice basket of bath & bodyworks or the like. My Girl Scouts once gave me one and I wasn't offended. I thought it was sweet. I used it too. I hope they weren't trying to tell me something.

 

[Disney Dee]

Meery, lol, I am sure they weren't trying to tell you something! But my co worker and I don't have a friendly type relationship that where giving gifts wouldn't look a bit suspecious! Besides if its just a gift, she may not get it that she has a problem, might even save it for special times not work. I am sure she would ask why the nice gift? What do I say then? because you need it????

 

[Disney Dee]

How about this idea? I could take her aside and tell her someone has complained that one of the shippers (shes 1 of 4) has a problem with BO and so i am taking each aside to tell them if it is them, they need to do something about it? That way, i am not singling her out, but maybe she will realize it is her since she was told about it before. She has to smell herself.

 

[Jeff in BigD]

My sister has a coworker that stinks & wondered how she should approach him about it.

I told her that I'd pull him aside & mention that a customer privately mentioned that they passed by him & there seemed to be an odor. Then just to say "just make sure you're keeping up on the personal hygene that the company expects."