Never too old to learn

[luvsJack]

Why is it offensive? What the heck am I missing? Do men find male offensive?

 

[PollyannaMom]

Why is it offensive? What the heck am I missing? Do men find male offensive?

I read somewhere that in certain places, "female" is used as a short form of "female dog" which in turn is used instead of a non-DIS-friendly word.


I'm really torn about giving in on this one, though! There's nothing actually wrong with the word itself, and people not in those places have no clue that other people are using it meanly. To me it feels like deciding nobody could say "blue" anymore, because somebody somewhere started using "blue" in place of a racial slur. I know language evolves, but only kind of by majority vote, and I'm not sure the majority even know about this?

 

[luvsJack]

I read somewhere that in certain places, "female" is used as a short form of "female dog" which in turn is used instead of a non-DIS-friendly word.


I'm really torn about giving in on this one, though! There's nothing actually wrong with the word itself, and people not in those places have no clue that other people are using it meanly. To me it feels like deciding nobody could say "blue" anymore, because somebody somewhere started using "blue" in place of a racial slur. I know language evolves, but only kind of by majority vote, and I'm not sure the majority even know about this?

Exactly. I mean for heaven’s sakes because someone somewhere took a perfectly fine word and used it as slang for something else we are suddenly supposed to be offended. That is just beyond dumb.

Seems the best way is to ignore the one using it that way, continue to use it appropriately and the problem will go away.

 

[smokeyblue]

Why is it offensive? What the heck am I missing? Do men find male offensive?

It's because some men, with bad intentions, use this word as a means to portray woman as inferior or property. I consider myself lucky to not have had this word used at me in such an offensive way, but I understand why some people find the word offensive.

The best example that I could think of likening it to is when a racist white man calls a black man "boy". The word boy in and of itself isn't a bad word, but if used in the wrong context, it is extremely offensive.

Honestly, it just sounds just as weird to call a group of woman females as it does to call a group of guys males.

 

[luvsJack]

It's because some men, with bad intentions, use this word as a means to portray woman as inferior or property. I consider myself lucky to not have had this word used at me in such an offensive way, but I understand why some people find the word offensive.

The best example that I could think of likening it to is when a racist white man calls a black man "boy". The word boy in and of itself isn't a bad word, but if used in the wrong context, it is extremely offensive.

Honestly, it just sounds just as weird to call a group of woman females as it does to call a group of guys males.

Neither one sounds weird.

It’s only offensive if we (all of us) allow it to become offensive.

it Is part of that “what are we going to be offended by today” thing.

 

[ww52]

Jumping in to remind everyone the context I happened to use it was describing a group that included a preteen girl. "Women" in that context seemed wrong; "women and a girl" seemed silly; "females" seemed OK but I've since learned and understood why that can be construed as condescending or insulting.

And the context of defining the gender was in knowing these 4 people and the fact they all like the traditional / stereotypical feminine colors of pink and purple and there were not four such unique choices for magic bands.

 

[PollyannaMom]

The best example that I could think of likening it to is when a racist white man calls a black man "boy". The word boy in and of itself isn't a bad word, but if used in the wrong context, it is extremely offensive.

Thanks for that example! It makes a lot of sense.

But I agree with this too -

It’s only offensive if we (all of us) allow it to become offensive.

When "boy" was being misused, we didn't ask everyone to stop using it in the normal context of "Did she have a boy or a girl?" or "Boys, come in for lunch!" - We put social pressure on the ones using it in the wrong context to stop. Similarly, I don't think we should let the word "female" itself become offensive just because some people are using it to be rude.

 

[mom2rtk]

Just no. OP, you are trying too hard to not cross the self appointed PC police. Think for yourself.

 

[alizesmom]

There is always someone who will be offended by a word. If so, try not to use it when speaking with them. I, myself, am more angry that others think that they can speak for me.

 

[Colleen27]

Didn't we just have a thread about this?

Female is used in a derogatory way in certain sub-cultures in our country, and is used that way particularly often online. As such, some women who have encountered it in that context read a subtext to it that you probably didn't intend - from how I'm reading it, you used it like you'd use "guys" to refer to a male group that included both boys and men, since our language really doesn't have a feminine counterpart that works independent of age, which isn't offensive in and of itself but might be interpreted that way by someone who is especially familiar with the negative use of the word.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Didn't we just have a thread about this?

I think we did.

...from how I'm reading it, you used it like you'd use "guys" to refer to a male group that included both boys and men, since our language really doesn't have a feminine counterpart that works independent of age...

Would "gals" work opposite "guys"?

 

[Deb & Bill]

Didn't we just have a thread about this?

Female is used in a derogatory way in certain sub-cultures in our country, and is used that way particularly often online. As such, some women who have encountered it in that context read a subtext to it that you probably didn't intend - from how I'm reading it, you used it like you'd use "guys" to refer to a male group that included both boys and men, since our language really doesn't have a feminine counterpart that works independent of age, which isn't offensive in and of itself but might be interpreted that way by someone who is especially familiar with the negative use of the word.

Negative use of the word? Really???

 

[Colleen27]

Negative use of the word? Really???

Yes. In certain sub-cultures, "female(s)" as a noun has a connotation very similar to witch-with-a-B and a vulgar term for a part of the female anatomy. Absolutely a negative use of the word.

 

[Deb & Bill]

Yes. In certain sub-cultures, "female(s)" as a noun has a connotation very similar to witch-with-a-B and a vulgar term for a part of the female anatomy. Absolutely a negative use of the word.

I'm sorry, but that is just crazy. How is the ordinary person to know what they can and cannot say any more? I'm not a part of that "sub-culture" and I guess I don't really care what they think.

 

[sam_gordon]

Yes. In certain sub-cultures, "female(s)" as a noun has a connotation very similar to witch-with-a-B and a vulgar term for a part of the female anatomy. Absolutely a negative use of the word.

I would hope people can tell when the speaker is using the word "negatively". For that matter, you can use the term "woman", "women", "girl", "gal", "boy", "male", "female woman", "elephant", "weed", and any other word "negatively". Asking, much less expecting people to stop using a word because a handful of people use it negatively is what *I* find offensive.

 

[jrmasm]

The word queen can mean many things, some positive, some negative. Have we stopped using it in polite conversation because a small segement of the population uses it as a slur?