Never taking your kids on vacation?

[Queen2PrincessG]

It depends on the people. I was raised in a family that went on two to three family vacations a year. So that is normal to me. My SIL thinks camping or going to the beach is vacation. Yeah maybe for like a "daycation" but not a real one. I can't understand living with the bare minimum and being happy, but that me.

Either way Disney is expensive especially if you have older kids.

 

[Daisy-J&D]

This is very relevant to conversations I've had with people in the last few days.

1) My co-worker just got back from a 2 week mediteranian cruise with his DW and DD5. She spent 2 weeks in the ship's daycare while her parents went to the different ports. THAT I can't understand. I would rather (but would never) leave DD at home or not go at all than stick her in a daycare while on vacation. DP and I discussed this and said maybe for some couple time once or twice for a few hours but NEVER all day for the entire vacation!

2) Standing in line for a ride at a local amusment park I said to the mom behind us that DD2 was fearless and even at Disney last year she went on all the dark scary rides. The woman's daughter (7 or 8) piped up and said "Mom, when are you taking me to Disney? I'd like to go before I die." (In the very dramatic sense not literal). I felt sooo bad!!

 

[Missy13d69]

We didn't go on "vacations" when I was a kid. My dad was ARMY, and his time off was always used to go to visit family. Being ARMY though, life was kind of a vacation. By time I was 10 years old, I had spent half my life outside the country. On weekends, we took day trips to museums and zoos and historical sites quite frequently. Several times a year we would go on one day trips to theme parks, and when we were in the states living in New Jersey we went to the beach a few times, and a few times my dad would take me crabbing (I was an only child until I was 12). We didn't "vacation", but we did stuff as a family a lot. I don't remember anyone I knew ever going on a "real" vacation, but most everyone I knew was military and were in the same boat we were in. Everyone used their vacation days to visit family.

Husbands mom and step dad were a different thing all together. They went on vacation. They sent the kids to stay with family, and off they went. They were just about the worst parents I know of though. They never did anything with their kids. They were rarely even home with them. Husband is 5 years older than one of his brothers, and 7 years older than the other. When husband was 8 years old, his parents started leaving him home alone to take care of his brothers, who were 3 and 1. This was a daily thing. After his step dad got home from work, they would have a quick dinner and then the parents left until 1 or 2 am. Husband was the one who needed a vacation, but the parents were the ones who got to go on them.

We go somewhere, even if it's just camping, at least once a year. Mostly, it's for us, but we always take our kids. Next years Disney trip is the first actual vacation FOR the kids. Okay, it's for ME, but the kids will like it too!

 

[stasijane]

I never went on a vacation as a child. I actually never had my first vacation until I was 30 when I took my daughter to WDW, now I find my self going several times a year.
My mother didn't have the money so going anywhere wasn't an option.

 

[princessaloha]

Maybe I'm misunderstanding the original poster's line of thought but I don't think OP was talking about people who can't afford vacations or to whom vacations aren't a priority. It sounds to me that the point was about people who DID take vacations but NOT with their children. I know several people who are like this and I don't get it.

Growing up we were very poor but when it came to vacations, we did it as a family. Occasionally parents went away by themselves for a weekend on their anniversary (ok, twice in my entire childhood) but all other vacations, whether it was camping a few miles away for a few bucks or road trips across the country, sleeping in the station wagon for a family of five, we went as a family.

Its the same now that I have my own family (and money). Vacations are for the entire family. We start taking our children on airplanes at 3 months. By the time they were 2 years old, they were EXCELLENT travelers. We constantly are asked how we do it by airline staff, other people etc. I always respond, "start training them early, prepare everyone, positive attitude about the entire adventure and it pays off in the long run". At least it has in our family.

I have an acquaintance who always says that it's not a REAL vacation if she brings her kids and only gets excited if she can pan them off on someone else. She bounces around constantly saying, "No kids, No kids giggle giggle giggle". She even does it in front of her kids. So sad to me (JMHO)

Edited: Just finished my coffee (should have done that first) and re-read OP and realized I was misunderstanding. OP was talking about taking vacations in general and not just with or without children. Sorry.

 

[Chelley00]

The only vacations we took when I was a kid were camping trips within out county, either to the local park and lake down the street or to the coal pita in the country. The only time we ever left our county was to go to an instate amusement park and we camped nearby. I loved camping but hated that we never left our little area. We always had to write those "what I did over summer break" and it was embarrassing never having anything to say! I was 19 and on my honeymoon before I stayed in a hotel the first time!

I was determined to give my kids something for their "what I did on vacation" papers We don't do big trips every year, sometimes it's just a trip to a town a state over or so, but it's something. They also have some Disney trips and a cruise under their belt now. We can't afford to do much more, but we make sure to always maintain some type of vacation fund, even if it's just enough for long weekends here or there.

 

[clothesmindedmom]

DH and I have two DC, but we've never taken them on vacation for several reasons:

1. My kids are soon-to-be 4, and 2 - it's a lot of work to travel with them. Worth it, I'm sure, but work nonetheless.

2. My DH is finishing up his medical residency, and I have felt like a single parent for much of the past 3 years. Plus, I've had very little alone time with DH during his training, so our annual vacation is our time.

3. Because our families live far away from us, our vacation time is the kids' vacation time with their grandparents (who watch them for us). It's a win-win-win because the grandparents love their time alone with the kids, the kids love their time with them, and we enjoy the break!

4. Budget reasons. It's cheaper for just DH and I to go on vacation, and because it's so enjoyable for us, it's a no-brainer.

We look forward to taking the kids on vacation soon enough. But we're also savoring this time when we're able to vacation by ourselves

 

[*pixie*dust*]

Everyone is different. For me, vacations are some of the very best memories that I have of childhood. When I was married, we went on 2-3 big trips per year plus weekend excursions. Now that I am a single mom and my income is not what it was, I make sure to budget well so that my son and I have the opportunity to take a vacation every year. I wouldn't trade that one on one time for anything in the world.

My sister on the other hand, doesnt really vacation. However they are big gadget people and always have the latest and greatest gadgets. Money is finite and everyone views it differently, its not wrong or right just a different perspective.

 

[emksmama]

Growing up, we went on vacations often as a family. I remember being 4 or 5 and going to Lake Erie & Niagara Falls with my parents, and that was probably my first vacation. We were fortunate enough to go to Disney twice, once around 1981 and again in 1985, as well as trips to Cocoa Beach FL, Pensacola FL, and multiple 'vacations' to see my mom's family back in Pittsburgh after we moved to Indiana. Even though those were primarily to see my grandparents and extended family, we always included a day at an amusement park, zoo, tourist type stuff for us kids to enjoy. In 1996, my parents took my sister & I to Grand Cayman for 4 days, and that was fabulous!! Now that my dad's retired AF, he wants to take my mom all over the world but she doesn't like to travel. He did get her to Hawaii for spring break a few years ago, and they did a 3 week driving tour of the southeast two summers ago, plus yearly trips to Pittsburgh when he can convince her. She doesn't like to fly AT ALL and can't sit for more than an hour or two, which really limits her travel.

DH's family never took vacations. Ever. They couldn't afford it at all, and if they did go somewhere it was to visit family...he said they took one trip to the UP in Michigan when he was around 10, and that was to visit a friend of his mom's. They just aren't vacation/travel people. Amazingly enough, a few years ago they took a driving tour of the country...drove out to CA and back, I think they were gone 3 weeks or so? They were coming back through Las Vegas, and instead of stopping until the city was all lit up, his dad drove straight through at noon! His attitude? "What's so special about a bunch of lights?" Um, a LOT, especially when you live in the middle of nowhere! They don't understand why we like to take the girls on trips.

We took our first vacation with kids when Emily, DD1, was only 6 months old. It was just a long weekend at Lake Michigan, but it was a blast. When they were 13 months and 2 1/2, we went to St Augustine/Daytona Beach FL, and then the next year we went to Ft Myers Beach. After that money got a LOT tighter, and we didn't "vacation" from 2006 until 2011. That being said, we did go to Pittsburgh in 2009 for a cousin's wedding, 2010 we went back for a week & stayed with my aunt & uncle, and then last summer we spent a week in Ft Myers Beach. This summer we are blessed in that my parents are taking all of us (including my sister, brother & his wife) to WDW. Otherwise, there wouldn't be a vacation this year.

I think a lot of PP's were correct...people have different priorities on where to spend their money. Some people don't like to travel. I'm amazed that my mom is willing to drive to Florida, but I also know they will take as long as they possibly can to get there while we drive straight through. We are blessed with children who love to travel and do well in the car for long periods of time too!

 

[Pesky]

Probably either a money or priority thing or both. We went on vacations as kids and I still remember and love them. And my parents did not do super expensive ones either and any expensive ones were often footed by my grandparents. Like our first trip to WDW, my grandparents paid for most of it and the only reason we got to go to WDW 3x was we were living in FL at the time so it was doable. After that, we could not afford to fly back. And we moved right by DLR! I'm a big fan of vacations even if it is local. This year, due to a major home improvement we've had to do for safety reasons, we're vacationing here and going to just take some trips to the zoo, camping and so on. I think those are great memories to give our kids! I will also say that DH and I make it a priority to take a small vacation just the two of us so we can reconnect and have fun together. Gives the kids a great time with the grandparents so everyone is happy!

 

[bdoyledimou]

I was raised by a single mother, on welfare. Our "vacation" consisted of building chair and blanket forts in the living room for a weekend and pretending we were camping.

One a month we would go to Burger King and each get a whopper and a milkshake, and share an order of Onion rings.

My first "vacation" was when i was 24 -- i owned my own company, and was making more money than i knew what to do with, newly married and we took my mom (and her new husband) on a trip to Disney for 2 weeks. It was heaven.

With my own kids we do a 16 day trip to Disney every EVEN year -- this year we are doing a 5 day cruise, and 11 days at Disney World.

On the ODD years we do "adventures" --We have rented a private island in Northern Ontario Canada, and a boat and camped for two week, needed the boat to go in or out, they cried when it was time to come home.

We have driven across Canada and seen all sorts of memorials.

Next year we are planning a Planes Trains and Automobiles European trip -- Lisbon Portugal, London England, Paris France (with a stop at Disneyland!) and wrapping up in Athens Greece.

I want them to see the world and everything that is available to them -- experience things i never did.

My wife and I go on pre trips -- 7 day versions of the trips we take with the kids ahead of time just to ensure our plans are doable and we are not totally lost -- thats the only time we don't bring the kids..

 

[AntePrincess]

I had to check back in.

I understand different priorities. Our first priority is building good day-to-day memories in our family. We have a lot of traditions, we do a lot of day trips, I bake or play board games with the kids, that sort of thing. We have that covered. After that, in the memory making department, there are vacations. I know other people prioritize making their home extra nice and entertaining because they live there every day. I understand that, too. I've probably sacrificed a few months worth of vacations for books, tea, and music (I don't even want to think about the piano, but it was 100% worth it... and it was free, just the tuning over time costs).

That said, I don't want to miss those memories or wait until 2015 to go anywhere, so we just pulled out our camping gear and we're buying a premium KOA membership. My husband is picking a trip for the end of the month to celebrate the end of a big project, probably Mystic, CT. I think traveling with your family, extended if possible, is wonderful and should never be taken for granted.

 

[rainynight]

I see nothing wrong with someone not doing vacations because they can't afford it or just don't want to, but I find it sad when I see parent's with young children go on vacations without their kids all the time.

My hubbie's brother and SIL go on multiple Vegas trips a year, have parties EVERY weekend and alternate sending the kids off the each grandparent on the weekends, and hasn't so much as taken their kids on a day trip to the zoo. They also each take a trip with their friends on their birthday every year but doesn't celebrate their kids birthdays.

 

[ccgirl]

I see nothing wrong with someone not doing vacations because they can't afford it or just don't want to, but I find it sad when I see parent's with young children go on vacations without their kids all the time.

My hubbie's brother and SIL go on multiple Vegas trips a year, have parties EVERY weekend and alternate sending the kids off the each grandparent on the weekends, and hasn't so much as taken their kids on a day trip to the zoo. They also each take a trip with their friends on their birthday every year but doesn't celebrate their kids birthdays.

YEs, this.

You can make memories without spending lots of money. I was poor growing up. Heck, we didn't really have board games. We would play word scramble. My mom would write a word and we would see how many words we could make of it. We couldn't afford camping equiptment or a camp site so we put a blanket over a picnic table and camped in our backyard. Yet, we still had wonderful memories.

However, if the parents are still going on vacations and NEVER taking the kids that's another issue all together. To me, my priority is providing a home for my children, food, clothing, and an education. Everthing else, to me, is a luxury and not a necessity.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

My husband NEVER went on vacation growing up. To this day his mom and dad have never been on an airplane or driving further than Ohio.

My family would go to Wildwood NJ, WDW, Virginia Beach, Cedar Point places like that.
DH and I travel all the time. We would never ever take a loan out or finance a trip to be able to take a vacation but we live well below our means so we can. I have wanted to leave PA since I was in high school. The deal DH and I made when I realized I would be stuck in Pittsburgh forever is that I would get the heck out of here at least 2 times a year. Meaning I got to vacation outside of Pittsburgh AT LEAST twice a year.

Sometimes we travel with our kids, sometimes not. Depends on the place, situation and if we are celebrating something.
This past April we took the family on the Fantasy and Universal for DS's birthday, this August we're all going to Niagara Falls and this November DH and I are going by ourselves to Great Exuma.

DH's sister hardly ever travels with her kids. A trip to SC to see her husbands parents is it other than a 4 night cruise for their honeymoon but thats the extent of it.

 

[danceintherain]

Most of our vacations while I was growing up were going to visit family. Lucky for me, my grandparents all had pretty sweet set ups.
Dad's Parents: Cabin in the Arizona mountains
Mom's Dad: Shore House in Atlantic City
Mom's Mom: House in the woods in Mississippi

Since I was 14, we've done 3 trips to Disney and 1 family cruise though. I really think is was a money thing for my parents, because they had 6 kids. My Mom took us plenty of places in our community though. Parks, zoos etc. Anywhere she could find that had a low admission fee. When we lived near Orlando, she made my Dad get us season passes to Disney and that was our outing.

It does make me sad when people go on adult-only trips all the time and never work in family trips. I understand that alone time is needed, but every year while you don't take your kids anywhere?
I understand that it's hard to travel with kids, but the more you do it, the easier it gets. I also understand that the kids aren't going to remember it, but since when does that matter in parenting? Using that logic it would be ok to put your kids in front of a TV set all day every day, until they were 4 years old, because they won't remember it.

In some cases, it's a mentality thing. Their parents never took them anywhere, so they don't have those experiences to draw on to compel them to create similar experiences for their kids. If they grew up fine, then it won't be a problem for their kids either.
My mentality is completely the opposite. I will not make every vacation about visiting extended family like we always did. There is a place for those kinds of vacations, but I think there's also a place for bonding with your individual family unit.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I have amazing wonderful memories of my SUPER budget vacations we took when I was a kid. We stayed in motels (the cheapest they could find), but restaurants were not in the budget. We took a camping cook stove and stopped at rest stops and parks and cooked all our meals on that. I remember my mom always home canned a type of dried beans and we always had jars of these and a lb of hot dogs for a few meals. Always home grown tomato sandwiches .When we went to theme parks...we NEVER ate food from there..left for a picnic or carried in peanut butter crackers. We NEVER felt like we were missing out and with both parents gone....those memories are soooo precious.

Thing is ....my parents did not HAVE to choose such budget trips but wasting money was NEVER an option and that allowed then to travel a great deal as they grew older BUT it still remained quite budget themed!

 

[nene0182]

I grew up with both of my parents in the so our family vacations were spent traveling to see other family members that lived all over the country. Each year we rotated between Pittsburgh, Indianapolis, Seattle, and Albuquerque. Nothing fabulous but all a lot more exciting then North Dakota. As Ive become an adult though I do wish I would have had a true family vacation growing up. Even now the only time my parents travel is to see other family members. I've tried to encourage them to just go on a trip, somewhere, anywhere they want to go and have never been. So far it hasnt worked though.

I always knew I wanted to take actual vacations with my children, however the first 6 years of my sons life (he is 9 now) I was a single mother and vacations were just not in the cards at all. But, since I've met my husband we have taken a week long trip to the Black Hills, a trip to Denver, and some longer weekend trips here and there. We are opting out of attending a family wedding in Texas this summer in order to take my son to WDW. Which has caused a bit of drama. But, oh well.

 

[sk!mom]

Lots of things in this world make me sad but kids not getting vacations is not one of them. Maybe because I'm older, maybe because of my life experiences but honestly I know many, many people who lead full happy lives and do not put a high priority on vacationing. Many of them probably scratch their heads over our vacations. I know several who wonder why we'd ever go to WDW more than once.

I value vacations but it's not sad to me that others value other things. I have several friends who feel that my family is missing out because we don't camp. We, however, hate camping. Different strokes for different folks- not wrong, not sad, just different.

 

[deuceswild10]

Many people cannot afford to vacation. Many can, but choose to spend their money elsewhere. Maybe, for instance, they want a big, expensive house. Nothing wrong with that, but they know that means no trips for a while. Not the lifestyle for me. I love, and need to travel. It might be camping, it might be to a family members house, or it might be Disney. I just love it. But yes, growing up, we did travel. Mostly tent camping and what we did was leaps and bounds more than what my friends families did.