Never taking your kids on vacation?

[Gumbo4x4]

My mother & father-in-law have never been on vacation. My wife never took one as a child. Other than a trip to a nightclub in IL (60 miles from home), she'd never left the state of Missouri until I surprised her with a trip to Vegas while we were dating. Apparently, they had a trip planned to Branson once when she was little & my MIL canceled it at the last minute. They had a farm, but everything should have been covered just fine. Father-in-law takes a week to go hunting every year, but only a couple hours from home.

We traveled a TON when I was a kid. Mom & Dad were teachers & while we never had much money, they did have TIME. We had a $200 popup camper & primitive campsites were $7 a night in those days. By the time I graduated HS, I'd seen 3/4 of the states in the Union

Mom & Dad also used to leave my sister & I with my aunt & uncle during Spring Break, and they'd go on a fishing trip together w/o us. But, they had plenty of time for us the rest of the year

 

[disny_luvr]

I grew up going on vacation every year, most years we went on a few different vacations. My DH on the other hand only ever went on one vacation when he was ten-years-old and that was to the beach. When we met and I started talking about places I've been and places I'd like to go he kind of just looked at me because since he didn't grow up going on vacation he really never thought about vacationing or places he'd like to go. Well, since we are married now, the vacation bug has definitely bit him and he loves to travel. He's been to Germany, Austria, Mexico and many places in the US (including WDW which he loves ) He is making up for lost time I think. He wants to take our children so many places and give them the experience he never had.

Now, I don't think people have to go on vacation. We know several people who'd rather drive nice cars or live in beautiful homes and not vacation. That is great for them. DH works with a few different guys that never go on vacation and really they don't have any desire to go on vacation. In fact, we are going to WDW this Thursday and a guy my DH works with just asked him today if he ever gets tired of vacationing (this guy doesn't travel). I think some people like vacationing and others would rather spend their money on other things.

 

[usd2bmd]

I think a huge chunk of the American population never takes their kids on vacation because they can't afford it.

Being on this Dis, it often seems that taking your children to Disney at least once is a given and that annual trips are commonplace. We have been very fortunate to be able to go to Disney the past several years, but this is definitely not the norm where we live. Most children here have never been on any vacation and likely never will.

Growing up, I had never been on a "vacation". My parents simply didn't have the money. We didn't even eat at McDonald's because it was too expensive. And there were also six of us. Having my own family of 5 I know that having more than 4 can dramatically increase the cost of any trip.


You didn't mention money with your SIL, but some people can't justify the cost of a vacation even if they don't seem to be struggling.

Also, sometimes I think if it's not the "norm" some people don't even think about vacations. Nearly all of DH's co-workers take their "vacation days" spread out throughout the year and just stay home. It honestly never enters their minds to go somewhere. And some simply assume vacations are too expensive. Everyone he works with is convinced that we're secretly wealthy because we go to Disney. They just assume vacationing is something that only "rich" people can do so they don't even look into it.

I was the 2nd youngest of six kids and when I was growing up vacations just weren't in the budget. We did things ike family day tips to the amusement park near our house, but it was in Canada so we felt like we were on vacation.
I had never traveled until I started dating my husband.
Now we try to do a vacation every year. This year with the economy the way it is, our vacation budget is much smaller than it usually is so we are staying close to home and camping.

I feel fortunate to be able to take the trips we do, but I never fault those that don't. I don't know what their situation is and being someone who didn't go on vacation when I was growing up, i didn't know what I was missing so it was fine.

 

[loricdietzel]

For our family, vacations are a priority. But we choose them over other things (new carpeting for example or the kids getting hand me down or garage sale clothing, not having a lot of gadgets or electronics) as it is important to us and we can live with cruddy carpet for awhile. I grew up traveling with my family (who also made vacations a priority) but my hubby never traveled or went out of state until he was an adult and joined the Navy. I think vacations really strengthen us as a family and also indirectly help strengthen our marriage. I am very thankful we have the opportunity to go on vacations as many people just can't no matter what their priorities are.

 

[fairestoneofall]

SIL/BIL don't take vacations that don't involve visiting someone in SIL's family (his family is all local). they sometimes (rarely) will go to Hilton Head for the weekend, but that's it. oh wait, they went camping one weekend recently.

it isn't that their budget doesn't allow it. they would just rather spend the money on something for the house, etc. we tried to get them to go on a long weekend trip to WDW with MIL and FIL (and it was a budget trip), but BIL wouldn't go. SIL actually said if MIL and FIL would pay for them, they'd go.

i feel for their kids. they don't understand why our kids get to go places. and MIL and FIL have gone to WDW with us three times, which is really hard for my niece and nephew to understand. they went once because BIL had a conference there. they did one day at MK. my nephew called MIL/FIL and told them it was the best day of his life. this was years ago, and they've never taken him back.

when my uncle died two years ago, i put together a slide show for the funeral. many of the pictures were from vacations we'd all taken together. looking through that and reliving those memories made it obvious that vacations are important. those are memories that you'll have forever. and memories are worth so much more than a new throw rug for your house.

growing up, we were always doing weekend trips somewhere. and we didn't spend a lot of money doing so. we did spend two weeks in Florida every summer (one week was with my grandparents, one day at MK and then a week at St. Pete Beach).

 

[TiggerTrigger]

While I think we can all appreciate people avoiding vacations if it's not in the budget...there are people who have the means, but consider vacations pointless.

I've only recently encountered this in the girl who sits next to me at work. She's in her early 20s and never went on vacations until she was out on her own and making her own $. And even now, her mom doesn't grasp why she feels the need to travel. She thinks it's just a total waste. To top it off, the mom sometimes has to travel for business and one of her conferences (some time ago) was at WDW. The mom was so turned off by crowds, the atmosphere, and being overwhelmed by the sheer size of the place (and ignorance of it as well)...that she's been telling her kids to never go there b/c it's the most miserable place on earth. My coworker went out to CA a couple of months ago, but waited to break it to her mom "after" the trip that she went to Disneyland. But it's not just Disney- the mom got upset when she went to the Caymans last year. I kind of wonder if she also tried to stop her from touring Europe during college.

Either way- this "no vacations" mindset is all so foreign to me. My parents vacationed with us from the time we were very young- even if it had to be a more modest trip due to budget issues. They still vacation now that they are empty nesters. It was the same with their WWII generation parents...they always vacationed in some way shape or form. And now we do the same as a family. We can't always go to WDW or something else big...but there are lots of things you can do for less $ that can be fun and a great unwinding (and often educational) experience.

 

[AshleeH]

I grew up taking vacations all the time (often they were work trips for my dad, but we still had fun). We went everywhere - I saw 10+ countries before I was 16. I wasn't spoiled (as I said, these were mainly work trips for my dad), but my parents impressed upon me at a young age that traveling can be fun and a learning experience.

Their parents never took them anywhere when they were growing up. My parents made a promise to each other that any kids they have would have more experiences and I love that they gave me that.

Luckily, my DH has the same philosophy: One vacation every year, at least. The last couple of years has been WDW because we all adore it, but eventually there will come a time when we take our kids on more educational vacations (one is planned for next year) but they will still be fun.

I know a lot of people can't afford to go on vacations, but I also know a ton of people who just choose not to. They want to save and save and save and they get so fixated on that, that they never enjoy what they are saving. DH and I have a beautiful home, nice reliable cars (Fords), and all the essentials. Vacations are where we choose to put our money - I know some of our friends consider it wasteful, but you can't take it with you! I would feel differently if we had debt (we don't) but we've witnessed one of my husband's friends work such long hours away from his family in order to pay off their house in half the time (because he wants to, not because it's necessary) and we are both so sad at everything he's missing: His children growing up, his wife essentially being a single parent, no trips, no memories and when he finally gets the house paid off, what then? A new house?

Give me a 30 year mortgage, a relaxed husband, and the memories of all of our vacations and you can't make me happier!

 

[RMulieri]

Some people can't afford vacations,some people think they are pointless.Doesn't mean anything is wrong with them, or they are nuts.People have different priorities ..My DH never ever went on a family vacation as a kid and I went on lots..Different strokes for different folks.

 

[indimom]

Growing up, my family took a vacation about every three or four years. Usually 5-7 days.
My husband took two or three camping/beach vacations as a child. Nothing else.

My husband and I love to vacation and would like to take a trip every year, but our budget doesn't quite reach that far. We've been married 16 years and have taken seven trips.

Aug. 1995 A 3-day honeymoon in Indianapolis
June 2001 A 4-day camping trip about 30 minutes from our house. Our first experiment with camping with a toddler and preschooler. It was nice.
June 2003 A 7-day trip to my sister's house near Destin/Narvarra Florida. We stayed with her family, but visited a zoo and aquarium, took a Dolphin tour in the bay, and went to the beach several days so it felt like a real vacation.
June 2005 A 10-day Disney trip. We flew, had the dining plan, stayed at Pop Century. Fabulous!
July 2007 A 7-day camping trip to Mammoth Cave Kentucky. It rained every day but one, but we still had a blast.
December 2008 A 7-day trip to Universal. We took our niece with us and stayed at the Royal Pacific our last two days to enjoy the express pass. It was a lot of fun and the weather was fabulolus. 80+ every day.
June 2010 A 14-day Disney trip. We drove, stayed at Pop Century, had 10-day hoppers with WP&M, but ate a lot of meals from the room. Feeding four adults at disney can get expensive.

My BFF hasn't taken a vacation since the birth of her first child nine years ago. They do a few days trips each year to the local parks/museums. I would get tired of always staying home, but it doesn't seem to bother her at all.
When DH & I vacation, it is our escape from our day to day lives so we block out the entire world and prefer not to take calls from home. We usually call our parents to let them know we've arrived at our destination safely, then put the phones up for the week. PEACE!
Hope we can take another someday soon, but I'm not planning at this point.

 

[littlbugmom]

I'm not surprised that some people don't vacation...even when they have the means. In fact, it never even occurs to me to wonder why they don't. It's their life....their decision and I assume they do what they think is right for their family.

Personally, I looove vacations! We never took vacations growing up and my husband's family didn't, either. A "vacation" for us was visiting family in the next state over. Totally NOT a vacation at the time but I can look back now and see the memories of traveling in the car with my sisters and the games we'd make up to relieve the boredom of my grandmother's house. Good memories.

I also have wonderful memories of being at home all summer and playing with my friends. We never went anywhere but we always had fun activities at home.

We visit WDW every other year now and LOVE IT! The non-Disney years are spent doing things close to home. Some cost money, some don't. I love the memories we're building just being at home, too.

 

[bushdianee]

I was the oldest of 8 and my Mom was a SAHM. My Dad was a factory worker who got 2 weeks vacation a year. The first week was spent doing family activities locally and then the second week my parents would take a trip, always to Maine where they had spent the first year of their marriage while Dad was in the Navy. We kids never felt deprived or like we were missing out. While the parents were gone we were split betwwen the grandparents who spoiled us. In my late teens my family moved 1000 miles so then vacations were always spent going back to see the grandparents and other family . My first Disney trip was at age 40!

 

[tlh0726]

growing up we got to go to a local amusement park (williams grove) the sunday of labor day weekend for a family reunion.
The factory that my parent's worked at would shut down the week of july 4th. That week was spent painting the exterior of the house.


As other PP's have said, it comes down to each person's priorities, life situations, and even their personalities.

However, I will say that it is sad to read about (and I know someone personally) that do nothing with their children and also leave them home and go on vacation by themselves.

My kids have been traveling and doing adventures since 8 weeks of age.
After one teacher contacted me concerning "stories" that my daughter was telling to the class (she was shocked that they were indeed true) I now inform the teacher during open house night before school that 95% of what she will say is how/what happened, the other 5% is a slightly exaggerated version. Feel free to either question her or myself.

 

[Daisy-J&D]

It does make me sad when people go on adult-only trips all the time and never work in family trips. I understand that alone time is needed, but every year while you don't take your kids anywhere?

AGREED!

Makes me very sad. Why wouldn't parents want to spend that quality vacation time with their kids?

I also don't understand when people say it's "too hard" to travel with kids. I think what they're really saying is that they are not flexible in choosing family friendly vacation destinations... and seriously, if you're going to WDW without your young children, that's mean. lol

 

[tricia]

growing up we got to go to a local amusement park (williams grove) the sunday of labor day weekend for a family reunion.
The factory that my parent's worked at would shut down the week of july 4th. That week was spent painting the exterior of the house.


As other PP's have said, it comes down to each person's priorities, life situations, and even their personalities.

However, I will say that it is sad to read about (and I know someone personally) that do nothing with their children and also leave them home and go on vacation by themselves.

My kids have been traveling and doing adventures since 8 weeks of age.
After one teacher contacted me concerning "stories" that my daughter was telling to the class (she was shocked that they were indeed true) I now inform the teacher during open house night before school that 95% of what she will say is how/what happened, the other 5% is a slightly exaggerated version. Feel free to either question her or myself.

Your daughters 'stories' reminded me of my son.

We have taken my kids on vacation lots and have been since they were 6 months old. They have been to Florida quite a few times, Caribbean Cruises, Japan, Italy, Mediterranean Cruise (covering 5 countries).

An old friend of mine has a son who is in my son's class. He was talking to another father who was saying "gee, they have a child in their class this year who sure likes to tell stories. Says he's seen the pyramids, the colliseum, vatican, castles, etc." My friend says "oh, you must mean Tyler? It's all true, his parents like to travel" Apparently other fathers face was quite red.

 

[luvmy2babies]

We do what we can here for sure and I hope I can continue. It’s our time to explore, do new things and my time to just be mom without any other obligations.

Some of the children in my daughter’s class did have some trouble believing she fed dolphins during fall break last year. We went to Sea World. For her Science project she had to do a notebook with pictures of 20 animals and answers to 5 questions about each animal. I printed out an 8.5x11 picture I took of her feeding the dolphin for the cover. She was so excited and when I asked why, she said no one believed her when she said she’d fed dolphins. Geez, I could have sent the picture in at any time.

Others in the class had been there, but I guess maybe their parents didn't know about this activity.

 

[scrapper2k]

I loved family vacations and think they are important. I also think adult only vacations as an investment in a marriage and great for the kids to see as well. My niece and nephews are thrilled when their parents go away and they get some grandparent spoiling.

 

[family3indisney]

We love to travel, I would take a second job if needed to travel, but thats just what we like to do. My neighbor never leaves the state but he gets a big new truck every other year to haul his massive fishing boat. I know his kids look forward to their fishing trips just as much as mine love to travel. Its family time regardless of the destination. My favorite vacation as a kid was one cold winter my dad transformed the living room putting up lanterns, paper flowers, tiki torches and telling us to pretend we were in Hawaii for the day. He cooked lots of fun food, and it was the best vacation ever and we never left the house!

 

[klineyqueen]

I think it is all on what people value! I have friends who buy new cares every 3 years and getting lots of new clothing is a priority. They are happy to not travel.

But for a girl like me.....not traveling is

I drive a 10 year old car and am quite content....as long as I get to see the world!

 

[2girlsR2good]

My dh never went on vacations...his parents thought of them as frivolous and a waste of money.

That describes my DH's growing up years too--only child of a single mom. He did live an hour away from the beach, so they went on lots of day trips to the beach and that was it. I think it was more about choices than the actual $$ because I know that while they weren't wealthy (she was a teacher) they weren't poor either. His mom still prefers not to leave her hometown and when she visits us (a 3 hour drive away) it is only once a year and she'll only stay 1 or 2 nights. He now LOVES our family vacations, although I do all the planning. We go to the beach for a week every summer and another trip during the year (sometimes Disney, sometimes something else). Before we had kids, I got to see him take his first international trips and we went to major cities for weekend jaunts. Those are memories that we both treasure--one of our first trips was to DC and we had a (cheap) blast touring the museums together as a young couple.

He's taught me a lot too--it isn't a one-way street--but travel is the thing that I added to DH's life.

 

[amylevan]

We traveled a ton growing up (and no, we didn’t always have the money, so the early years were in a tent or pop up camper in a national park cooking our food over a campfire). Over the years we visited (a lot of) national parks, beaches, ski vacations, and 1 WDW trip. (My dad hates theme parks.) In fact as I sit here trying to think of all the places my parents took us (or DRAGGED us in our teen years) I can’t, but I am so thankful.

It was just a priority of my parents to see this country - and to this date, the only country I’ve been in besides the US is Canada, but I’ve been to 49 of the 50 states (Hawaii is still on the must see list). My dad grew up vacationing as well – his WWII era parents also made it a priority to see this country. My parents are now retired and spend several months of the year in their RV somewhere other than home. So vacationing is almost a culture that I was raised to appreciate.

That said, my DH never really vacationed. He remembers doing some local amusement parks, a trip to Niagara Falls and a couple of trips to Virginia Beach and Williamsburg (his dad was stationed at Norfolk for a while). But that’s it. And when we first met, he didn’t really get my desire to vacation. So I can see how if you were never really exposed to the culture of traveling, you wouldn’t place value on it. No one NEEDS to visit WDW or see the Grand Canyon or a giant glacier in person. But I sure as heck WANT to.

Luckily, I’ve converted DH and before DS we traveled quite a bit and we now own a camper of our own, and spend at least 2 week long vacations and several long weekend vacations a year vacationing. (This year has already included 10 days at WDW and we go to Bar Harbor, ME for a week in August – plus long weekends planned for Erie, Pa, Knoebels Amusement Park, and the finger lakes region in NY). Luckily DS3 is a GREAT traveler, and hopefully his soon to be sibling (due in December) will follow in his footsteps.