Neighbors told my kids they can't play outside anymore

[Bonniec]

and honestly, is it really that much of a hardship to consider the needs of others in the neighborhood? If you have a neighbor who is on the night shift, or ill is it really so oppressive to ask the kids to play somewhere that isn't directly outside their window?

God forbid any of our little darlings are ever asked to remember that they live in a world populated by other people. They might actually have to realize that the entire universe doesn't revolve around them!

Seriously! Of course kids have the right to play outside. They need to run and let off steam. But they don't have to yell at the top of their lungs and they can be respectful to other neighbors. I don't force my kids to sit quietly outside and not have any fun. But they can not yell, play in the streets (agree with pp about it not being safe anymore with cell phones, texting, and general idiots in the world), and they can not play or mess with neighbors yards. They either play in the backyard or I sit out there and watch them.

Note: OP that is not directed at you. I still think you should talk calmly with your neighbor to find out what the deal is. I just have to agree with the above PP about some general mentalities.

I think the same thing could be said of anyone who expects kids to be quiet while outside on a Saturday afternoon.

I don't think anyone can EXPECT that. If I had neighbors who told me what my kids could and could not do, I would likely tell them where to go. But I just feel its polite to not have your kids screaming outside when you live in a populated neighborhood. There's a difference between normal play and yelling. Some kids are shreikers! lol

 

[Scurvy]

and honestly, is it really that much of a hardship to consider the needs of others in the neighborhood? If you have a neighbor who is on the night shift, or ill is it really so oppressive to ask the kids to play somewhere that isn't directly outside their window?

God forbid any of our little darlings are ever asked to remember that they live in a world populated by other people. They might actually have to realize that the entire universe doesn't revolve around them!

Apparently it is for some people. I can't imagine feeling that way. If my neighbors had to sleep during the day because of illness or work or some other reason, of course I would ask my child to be more quiet when playing outside. And if a member of my family needed to sleep during the day, of course we wouldn't expect everyone else in the neighborhood to be silent. If you live in a neighborhood, you need to be considerate of those around you, and neither extreme is acceptable. It's unreasonable to expect the neighborhood to tiptoe around in silence and stay inside all day just because you need quiet, but it's equally inconsiderate to force your neighbors to listen to your kids being excessively loud all day. Fortunately for the kids, after years of research I've discovered that it's perfectly possible to enjoy yourself without screaming or yelling, even outside. A little consideration and compassion for other people can go a long way. It is a shame that some people are unwilling to demonstrate that kind of consideration just because they have the right to be as loud as they want to be.

 

[Bonniec]

Scurvy, that is exactly what I was trying to say. You just worded it so much better!

 

[Scurvy]

Scurvy, that is exactly what I was trying to say. You just worded it so much better!

I just saw your post and realized I hadn't needed to post after all, since you just said what I was trying to say!

 

[ols386]

Apparently it is for some people. I can't imagine feeling that way. If my neighbors had to sleep during the day because of illness or work or some other reason, of course I would ask my child to be more quiet when playing outside. And if a member of my family needed to sleep during the day, of course we wouldn't expect everyone else in the neighborhood to be silent. If you live in a neighborhood, you need to be considerate of those around you, and neither extreme is acceptable. It's unreasonable to expect the neighborhood to tiptoe around in silence and stay inside all day just because you need quiet, but it's equally inconsiderate to force your neighbors to listen to your kids being excessively loud all day. Fortunately for the kids, after years of research I've discovered that it's perfectly possible to enjoy yourself without screaming or yelling, even outside. A little consideration and compassion for other people can go a long way. It is a shame that some people are unwilling to demonstrate that kind of consideration just because they have the right to be as loud as they want to be.

I agree with you.

 

[furb & dez]

*chuckle* This makes me glad I live in a house with block construction and dual-pane windows.

I couldn't hear my neighbors if I tried...

 

[C.Ann]

Apparently it is for some people. I can't imagine feeling that way. If my neighbors had to sleep during the day because of illness or work or some other reason, of course I would ask my child to be more quiet when playing outside. And if a member of my family needed to sleep during the day, of course we wouldn't expect everyone else in the neighborhood to be silent. If you live in a neighborhood, you need to be considerate of those around you, and neither extreme is acceptable. It's unreasonable to expect the neighborhood to tiptoe around in silence and stay inside all day just because you need quiet, but it's equally inconsiderate to force your neighbors to listen to your kids being excessively loud all day. Fortunately for the kids, after years of research I've discovered that it's perfectly possible to enjoy yourself without screaming or yelling, even outside. A little consideration and compassion for other people can go a long way. It is a shame that some people are unwilling to demonstrate that kind of consideration just because they have the right to be as loud as they want to be.

I guess it would depend on what people consider "loud".. If the kids are playing hide-n-seek and the seeker shouts out, "Ready or not, here I come!" - is that considered loud? If they're playing a game and someone scores and they high-five the other person and shout, "Yes!" - is that considered loud? Is laughing considered loud?

I'm not trying to pick apart your post (or the similar one), but sincerely trying to get a gauge on what is considered "loud".. Little kids playing in a sand box with a shovel and pail probably aren't going to do anything loud - other than let out an excited giggle or something.. But when it comes to kids beyond that age, what kind of activities can they play quietly while outside?

I don't agree with kids screaming their heads off just for the heck of it - or blasting music that rattles the dishes in the house next-door - but if they're playing ball; hide-n-seek; kick the can; squirting each other with squirt guns; there is going to be noise - right?

Help me out here.. I always find your posts pretty balanced and well thought out, but right now you have me a little confused..

(All of this keeping in mind that I don't think kids should be in other peoples yards or playing in front of other peoples houses - who don't want them there - if they have yards of their own to play in.. And - not all neighborhoods have playgrounds and many schools will no longer allow children to play there when school is not in session due to liability issues..)

 

[Octoberbride03]

*chuckle* This makes me glad I live in a house with block construction and dual-pane windows.

I couldn't hear my neighbors if I tried...

Seriously. My next door neighbors have 4 kids and at any given time outside of school hours there are an avg. of 10 kids outside their house. Only the dog hears them if we're inside. I can't even say for sure that my house is block construction, all I know is that it was built in 1959. The windows are indeed dual pane though and considerably newer.

Honestly, we never hear a thing and they put the hoop in front of our house all the time.

 

[Scurvy]

I guess it would depend on what people consider "loud".. If the kids are playing hide-n-seek and the seeker shouts out, "Ready or not, here I come!" - is that considered loud? If they're playing a game and someone scores and they high-five the other person and shout, "Yes!" - is that considered loud? Is laughing considered loud?

I'm not trying to pick apart your post (or the similar one), but sincerely trying to get a gauge on what is considered "loud".. Little kids playing in a sand box with a shovel and pail probably aren't going to do anything loud - other than let out an excited giggle or something.. But when it comes to kids beyond that age, what kind of activities can they play quietly while outside?

I don't agree with kids screaming their heads off just for the heck of it - or blasting music that rattles the dishes in the house next-door - but if they're playing ball; hide-n-seek; kick the can; squirting each other with squirt guns; there is going to be noise - right?

Help me out here.. I always find your posts pretty balanced and well thought out, but right now you have me a little confused..

(All of this keeping in mind that I don't think kids should be in other peoples yards or playing in front of other peoples houses - who don't want them there - if they have yards of their own to play in.. And - not all neighborhoods have playgrounds and many schools will no longer allow children to play there when school is not in session due to liability issues..)

I don't know where the line is for most people. My personal rule of thumb is that if someone is likely to be able hear me inside their home with their windows closed, I'm being too loud unless I actually am calling for help, and that's what I've taught my son as well. I'd say most things you can do without needing to yell or even shout - Hide and Seek might be a problem, but maybe the solution to that would be to have the person who counts be close to their own house and not close to anyone else's house (and honestly, most kids I know don't even really yell or scream the "Ready or not" part, they just say it in louder tone than their usual voice). Riding bikes, playing basketball, roller blading or skating, playing catch or frisbee or kick the can, even horsing around in a pool or with water guns . . . those types of things don't need to involve yelling. There's noise involved, but I think for most people it's the kind of noise you could tune out, especially with a white noise machine and/or earplugs. Things like laughing, talking in a normal tone, occasional involuntary squeals of surprise if you've just been splashed or shot with a water gun - those should certainly be expected when you're outside during the daytime. So should things like dribbling a basketball or mowing the lawn. But there's something about screaming, shrieking or yelling voices that just commands attention from most people, and I think it's polite to avoid doing those things if you know that someone near you needs quiet during the day.

 

[tvguy]

Well, you do have a backyard for a reason.

As for sleeping during the day, did it today, worked a graveyard shift last night. Did it for 25 years straight 1980 to 2005. The kids making noise argument doesn't carry any weight with me. It's day time and there are daytime noises that a fan , ear plugs or a white noise machine will mask. I even slept through them replacing the roof on my house, and adding onto my house.

 

[Jennasis]

Ahhh the joys of living in the country. My closest neighbor is about a 1/4 mile away, and my road has only been paved for about 6 years.

HOWEVER, I grew up in super-suburban Long Island and we played in the street (kickball, stickball, whiffle ball, tag, monkey in the middle, hockey etc). We were mindful of vehicles (anybody else remember having to yell out "Car Car C-A-R!" when pne was coming through?). I don't think anyone ever asked us to rein it in, quiet down or stop playing out there. That said, nobody around us was sickly (other than my bff next door who had luekemia but he was usually out with us), or worked a night shift.

There HAS to be a happy medium. We all need to coexist. The kids should be able to play out side and be kids AND be mindful/respectful of the neighbor who has to sleep during the day. No screaming or shrieking.

 

[HelenePA]

I"m so glad my neighbors dont care! at times there are 15+ kids in front of my house (yes there is a park near by and I do have a yard) but they like to play out there right when its getting dark out (which is 6:30) these days. I know they are safe and I keep a watch out for cars.. the park does not have lights and my back yard lights aren't good enough for them to play... no one has ever said a word about it to me.. or the kids...

 

[aprilgail2]

Now to the OP... were the kids literally playing in the street? The "streets are for cars" comment makes me think maybe they were. There is a street near me that has a basketball hoop at the edge of the corner and people play in the road at the intersection. This would get really annoying if my house was near there and I needed to drive through that. Not to mention dangerous for the kids. However if they were in their yard/the yards of other kids I see your point and the kids should be able to play.

There are 24 houses on my block and I would guess about 6-8 of them have basketball hoops at the edge of their property facing the street. The portable basketball hoops are very popular, they leave them by the side of the road and you play in the street- sometimes they put two opposite each other in the middle ofthe street and play "full court" There is enough room on the sides for cars to go around when they come.

 

[C.Ann]

I don't know where the line is for most people. My personal rule of thumb is that if someone is likely to be able hear me inside their home with their windows closed, I'm being too loud unless I actually am calling for help, and that's what I've taught my son as well. I'd say most things you can do without needing to yell or even shout - Hide and Seek might be a problem, but maybe the solution to that would be to have the person who counts be close to their own house and not close to anyone else's house (and honestly, most kids I know don't even really yell or scream the "Ready or not" part, they just say it in louder tone than their usual voice). Riding bikes, playing basketball, roller blading or skating, playing catch or frisbee or kick the can, even horsing around in a pool or with water guns . . . those types of things don't need to involve yelling. There's noise involved, but I think for most people it's the kind of noise you could tune out, especially with a white noise machine and/or earplugs. Things like laughing, talking in a normal tone, occasional involuntary squeals of surprise if you've just been splashed or shot with a water gun - those should certainly be expected when you're outside during the daytime. So should things like dribbling a basketball or mowing the lawn. But there's something about screaming, shrieking or yelling voices that just commands attention from most people, and I think it's polite to avoid doing those things if you know that someone near you needs quiet during the day.

Thank you..

That was a very good explanation - and more or less where I would draw the line between "loud/screaming" and normal outdoor play.. During the summer there are kids up here playing outside - normal noise - and then the "shriekers" that really make your heart leap out of your chest thinking someone was hit by a car or seriously injured in some other manner.. That type of noise is not exceptable - to most all of the neighbors up here..

 

[Lorelei Lee]

My neighborhood is zoned for one-acre lots, so everyone has large yards. You still see kids in the street -- it's a very quiet neighborhood, almost no traffic at all -- and I've actually seen those kid alert turtles in the street. Mildly annoying, but not a huge imposition.

The only time I hear any of the kids is when my neighbor two doors down lets his kids swim in the pool, then they tend to shriek.

Kids need to be outside, they need to play. They also need to have rules and common courtesy.

OP, I'd ask the neighbor exactly what was said and see if you can work things out amicably.

 

[PeterPan09]

Apparently it is for some people. I can't imagine feeling that way. If my neighbors had to sleep during the day because of illness or work or some other reason, of course I would ask my child to be more quiet when playing outside. And if a member of my family needed to sleep during the day, of course we wouldn't expect everyone else in the neighborhood to be silent. If you live in a neighborhood, you need to be considerate of those around you, and neither extreme is acceptable. It's unreasonable to expect the neighborhood to tiptoe around in silence and stay inside all day just because you need quiet, but it's equally inconsiderate to force your neighbors to listen to your kids being excessively loud all day. Fortunately for the kids, after years of research I've discovered that it's perfectly possible to enjoy yourself without screaming or yelling, even outside. A little consideration and compassion for other people can go a long way. It is a shame that some people are unwilling to demonstrate that kind of consideration just because they have the right to be as loud as they want to be.

THANK YOU! That's exactly the point I was trying to make. Some of these posts sound like people would direct their kids out to scream and shriek in front of the neighbors window just to make the point that they have the right to do that. A little consideration on both sides goes a long way to make a more pleasant neighborhood for everyone.

As for the situation that sparked the discussion, it really needs a little more clarification. I've suggested to neighbors that I have concerns about their kids playing in the parking lots or the street. I'm nice about it, but it really does scare me sometimes. I don't ever want to see a kid vs car situation because even if that car is going 2 miles an hour the kid is going to lose. I drive slowly, but not everybody around here does, and I am afraid we're going to see a tragedy.

If you've got a yard of your own, keep your kids in it. If you live in a place where there are open fields and playgrounds, please keep your kids playing there. Kids playing in the street or the parking lot is just an accident waiting to happen.

 

[Disfan1]

Oh I so agree! there is no way they would be blocking my street. "Oops wonder what that noise was, better get the car checked soon" said to self as I flattened said turtle.

I don't mind kids playing in the street some things are better there, just move out of the way for cars and have a blast.

I ran over the neighbor's kids' skateboarding equipment (a metal rail they had set up in the road and didn't move after they were done) and the mom had the nerve to come over and confront me & try to get me to replace the rail! I told her "My Explorer has only been on the road or in my driveway - you're welcome to call the police if you want to persue this" Funny, I never heard back from her and her kids ALWAYS moved their gear out of the road when they saw me coming after that!

And no, I wasn't aiming for the rail - it was one of those long, skinny ones that I couldn't see the way they had it set up in the road.

 

[LIDisneyFan]

Sorry, but there are FL Statutes in place regarding proper use of public roads by pedestrians:

http://archive.flsenate.gov/statutes/index.cfm?m&App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0300-0399/0316/Sections/0316.2045.html

Bicycle regulations:

http://archive.flsenate.gov/statutes/index.cfm?m&App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0300-0399/0316/Sections/0316.2065.html

If I were the OP, I'd talk to the neighbor & see if the problem is noise or playing in the street. If it's noise, the neighbor needs to deal with earplugs (whether she's hungover, working nights, dying of cancer or is a vampire).

However, if the kids are playing in the street, that's another story. It was great fun playing street hockey in the "good old days", but with drivers distracted by cellphones/whatever, and the recent thread about frightened teenage drivers, I wouldn't chance it anymore. Why do they need to play in the street anyway? Can't they shoot hoops in the driveway or ride their bikes to the nearest playground/empty parking lot to play street hockey where they don't have to worry about cars?

OK-so I read the statutes. I don't see where children playing in the street is prohibited , and the bicycle on doesn't say anything about not riding in the street.

It's also illegal (800.02 Unnatural and lascivious act) for to commit lewd acts in Florida. That has about as much to do with kids playing in the street as the statutes above.

A person who commits any unnatural and lascivious act with another person commits a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083.

 

[golfgal]

There are 24 houses on my block and I would guess about 6-8 of them have basketball hoops at the edge of their property facing the street. The portable basketball hoops are very popular, they leave them by the side of the road and you play in the street- sometimes they put two opposite each other in the middle ofthe street and play "full court" There is enough room on the sides for cars to go around when they come.

That is what our kids did when they were younger too.

 

[mjkacmom]

The sounds of children playing doesn't even come close to the sounds of the landscapers who are at a couple of homes every day (ours comes on Tuesday ). Then on the weekends, those without landscapers do their own lawns. It's always noisy here. Our yards and driveways are small, the homes are on top of each other. I have no problem with kids playing in the street (although mine don't). Plenty of people have the basketball hoops on the curb, and where else are kids going to play street hockey, or ride their bikes and scooters?