Neighbors told my kids they can't play outside anymore

[badblackpug]

Well that may be true, but she could just be nursing a hangover or just plain lazy. Regardless, if she and her parents are the ones with a problem with the noise, its their responsibilty to deal with it. Move to the middle of nowhere or the dd can get a day job, or quit drinking or get her lazy butt out of bed before the crack of 2PM

My neighbor works nights and that is his 2nd job, never once has he told any of the neighborhood kids they couldn't play outside. He's a pretty reasonable guy, though.

My point is the OP doesn't have the whole story, only what her kids "heard." She needs to investigate exactly what was said and why. Maybe the kids were in the neighbors yard. Maybe the kids are hitting the neighbor's house/car with balls and such. Maybe the kids are blocking the neighbors driveway, or refusing to move to allow cars down the street. Maybe the kids are ridiculously loud, or rude. There are too many un knowns right now.

 

[ols386]

Well that may be true, but she could just be nursing a hangover or just plain lazy. Regardless, if she and her parents are the ones with a problem with the noise, its their responsibilty to deal with it. Move to the middle of nowhere or the dd can get a day job, or quit drinking or get her lazy butt out of bed before the crack of 2PM

My neighbor works nights and that is his 2nd job, never once has he told any of the neighborhood kids they couldn't play outside. He's a pretty reasonable guy, though.

Maybe that's because your kids and the other neighborhood kids aren't real noisy. In this situation, we really don't know the level of noise.

Maybe the daughter doesn't even drink. I think that's a pretty big assumption to make. Maybe she's not lazy. Another assumption about someone you don't know.

 

[luvmy3]

My point is the OP doesn't have the whole story, only what her kids "heard." She needs to investigate exactly what was said and why. Maybe the kids were in the neighbors yard. Maybe the kids are hitting the neighbor's house/car with balls and such. Maybe the kids are blocking the neighbors driveway, or refusing to move to allow cars down the street. Maybe the kids are ridiculously loud, or rude. There are too many un knowns right now.

What does the OP need the whole story for? Her kids have every right to play outside and yes even be loud. If it was her neighbor across the street and her kids were being ridculously loud in the street, the OP would have heard them as well.

Maybe that's because your kids and the other neighborhood kids aren't real noisy. In this situation, we really don't know the level of noise.

Maybe the daughter doesn't even drink. I think that's a pretty big assumption to make. Maybe she's not lazy. Another assumption about someone you don't know.

No, my kids are pretty loud and since our house is the neighborhood hangout it gets pretty noisy here. My neighbor just happens to understand when you live in a subdivision you have to expect noisy kids playing outside.
You are right I don't know, but hiw is my assumption any different than assuming she works nights? We are all assuming and it still makes no difference, they have no right to tell kids they can't play outside just because they don't like the noise.

 

[FireDancer]

Another assumption about someone you don't know.

On the DIS? Say it ain't so!!!!!!!! At least no one thinks she is having an affair because she took a while to get her hair cut.

 

[ols386]

What does the OP need the whole story for? Her kids have every right to play outside and yes even be loud. If it was her neighbor across the street and her kids were being ridculously loud in the street, the OP would have heard them as well.



No, my kids are pretty loud and since our house is the neighborhood hangout it gets pretty noisy here. My neighbor just happens to understand when you live in a subdivision you have to expect noisy kids playing outside.
You are right I don't know, but hiw is my assumption any different than assuming she works nights? We are all assuming and it still makes no difference, they have no right to tell kids they can't play outside just because they don't like the noise.

That's why if it were me, I'd go talk to the neighbors directly. Maybe they didn't use those precise words. Kids sometimes don't repeat things back exactly as they were said.

On the DIS? Say it ain't so!!!!!!!! At least no one thinks she is having an affair because she took a while to get her hair cut.

LOL

Well, that's why she didn't want to be woken up. She had to get some sleep before she went for a hair cut before she went to meet her secret boyfriend.

 

[luvmy3]

That's why if it were me, I'd go talk to the neighbors directly. Maybe they didn't use those precise words. Kids sometimes don't repeat things back exactly as they were said.

Fair enough reason, however it still wouldn't change anything about the kids playing outside. At least if it were me, I wouldn't expect my kids to be quiet because some neighbor was trying to sleep in the middle of the afternoon (no matter why).

 

[YodaGirl]

I agree that there really isn't enough information.

We've got several kids in our neighborhood. A couple of them are loud and obnoxious (unfortunately, they live next door to us). We also have the problem of the kids thinking that they own the street. I don't have a problem with kids biking down the road, but don't ride your bike down the middle of the street, turn your head to see a car behind you, and not move. Also, don't ride your bike up my yard to my porch so that you can see my cat.

If the OP lives on a busy street or the kids aren't yielding to traffic, I can see the OP's neighbors saying something. I think that a lot of people are mistaking "Don't play in the street" for "Don't play outside".

There's also a difference in being kids making noise, and being kids who are being obnoxious with the noise level. We don't know what the OP's kids were doing.

I agree with others who think that the daughter probably works 3rds.

 

[badblackpug]

What does the OP need the whole story for? Her kids have every right to play outside and yes even be loud. If it was her neighbor across the street and her kids were being ridculously loud in the street, the OP would have heard them as well.



No, my kids are pretty loud and since our house is the neighborhood hangout it gets pretty noisy here. My neighbor just happens to understand when you live in a subdivision you have to expect noisy kids playing outside.
You are right I don't know, but hiw is my assumption any different than assuming she works nights? We are all assuming and it still makes no difference, they have no right to tell kids they can't play outside just because they don't like the noise.

Because children are not a reliable source of information. What was actually said, and why it was said, is very important. The kids may have an entirely different perception of what was actually said and what they "heard." They also may be leaving out details such as they were in the neighbors driveway or yard, or were blocking the street, and didn't move. I have 4 kids. I know that kids leave out "details" and have selective hearing. What could have been, "Please play in your own yard you are blocking our driveway, and cars can't get down the street, and can you hold it down our daughter is trying to sleep," may well have been turned into "Mr. Smith said we can't play outside any more."

...and having 4 kids, 3 of whom talk constantly, I will tell you that you become immune to the noise. It was like the time I kept my mother's dog while she and my father were on vacation. The dog barked constantly, I asked her how she stood it when she returned, her answer was "Oh he doesn't bark that much." When you are around it 24/7, you get used to it.

 

[mickeyboat]

Just curious, if you think it's unsafe AND it makes you nervous, then why do you let them play in the street? Not trying to be snarky, just wondering.

Because I am not going to keep my kids in a bubble. Because they are going to have to go out in the street at one point or another. Because it is a good opportunity to teach them safety rules about being in the street. Because I typically supervised them while they were out there until I was confident that they were behaving respectfully and making sure to watch for cars.

There are lots of things my kids do that make me nervous, but it is my job as a parent to get over that nervousness at times and guide them so that they can go out into the world.

 

[nathalee81]

In our neighborhood, there are kids that play in the street and they fail to understand the street's main purpose. Streets are for cars. You can play in them all you want, but it doesn't change the fact that streets weren't meant to be playgrounds.

I live in constant fear I will hit one of these kids-and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I hurt them (regardless if it was their fault for playing in a darkened street with no reflective gear and they jumped in front of my car-as has happened so many times). So, I'm careful, very, very careful. I still worry, though. And if I am worrying, I don't understand how the parents DON'T worry? These aren't even my kids.

Yes, cars SHOULD slow down for kids, but, unfortunately, people don't always do what they SHOULD. It is unfortunate, but true.

I lived in a quiet little town until I was about 8. I was friends with the neighborhood kids. We played outside ALOT. It was always in someone's back yard or front yard. None of us were allowed in the street. It was rule and we followed it.

 

[dngnb8]

Actually not my neighbours, but the people that live across the street from me.

My kids play outside on the weekends. Yesterday, my kids came home and told me the people across the street told them they can't play outside anymore. They said the street is for cars and is not a playground. Their adult daughter is trying to sleep and they are making too much noise (2pm Sunday afternoon)

Because it was starting to rain anyway, I told the kids just to come inside for the day. Between my kids and neighbours, we have 9 boys. I will admit that 9 boys can get loud at times.

I don't know if there is more to this story. I would like to get both sides, maybe their car got hit or something but I am not sure. I don't really want to talk to them because I don't like confrontation but I guess I have to. We have had a "hi, how are you" relationship until now.

I guess I'm asking do you think it is reasonable to live in a neighbourhood and expect that kids won't play outside at some point?

BTW, I will be sending my kids outside again

Whom ever those people are, they should feel lucky I am not their neighbor....

 

[Liandro]

Fair enough reason, however it still wouldn't change anything about the kids playing outside. At least if it were me, I wouldn't expect my kids to be quiet because some neighbor was trying to sleep in the middle of the afternoon (no matter why).

Really? Wow.
You just sound like the neighbor that refused to keep his barking dog inside while our "backyard" neighbor was dying from a brain tumor 27 years old.

 

[Bonniec]

You have to talk to the neighbors and ask them what happened. Nine boys are not likely to give you the full story.


My own personal take on things....yes, kids need to run and play outside. I have 3 of them. But I have no idea what neighbors might be working the night shift, or who might have a sleeping baby, etc. I have seen enough neighborhood brats to know I don't want my kids to be one. While I don't make my kids talk in a whisper, I don't let them yell and scream. If they want to do that, I'll take them to a park.

I also think playing in the streets is super dangerous. My kids have always had to play in the back fenced yard, otherwise I'm out front with them supervising. And no, I didn't have my parents hovering over me when I was a kid but we didn't have neighbors either. It's just a matter of respect.

I can't tell you how many times I've had balls knocked into our cars, kids running through the front lawn, etc. I watched one kid break all of our neighbors driveway lights. After letting him know what happened, our own car was suddenly key'd.


Maybe your neighbors are just being nosy. Though I think they have a point, maybe they just need to mind their own business. The SHOULD have come directly to you. However, with 9 boys, my guess is the kids have done something to upset them and you should find out what happened. And if they have someone needing to sleep, there is no reason why the boys can't keep it down a bit out of respect. Maybe it's her problem she works late as others have said....but I would be telling my kids not to yell and be a bit more respectful.

You really just need more information as to what the problem is. I would just ask them.

 

[Andtototoo]

I live in constant fear I will hit one of these kids-and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I hurt them (regardless if it was their fault for playing in a darkened street with no reflective gear and they jumped in front of my car-as has happened so many times). So, I'm careful, very, very careful. I still worry, though. And if I am worrying, I don't understand how the parents DON'T worry? These aren't even my kids.

And dollars to donuts the parents would sue you. That happened to two people I know. In both cases, the drivers were found not be at fault, but still had to go through the nightmare of the legalities (and although both were supposed to have their court costs paid by the plaintiffs, neither ever saw a dime).

 

[TDC Nala]

Sounds like they were in the street and not in someone's front yard. is this a thoroughfare or a culdesac somewhere? If it's a thoroughfare they shouldn't be playing in the street.

If they were playing in the yard there's no way the neighbors can't tell the kids not to play in the yard (unless it's their yard).

 

[OceanAnnie]

You have gotten some good advice. Good luck with this one.

This is one update I would really love to hear.

I would be none to pleased with the neighbor, but I'd reserve expressions and comment till I got the neighbors story. If it's all true, whew! That's a big ball of wax waiting to be melt down with fury on both sides. J/K. But it does have potential to get very ugly, very fast.

 

[PaulaSB12]

I think that is utterly ridiculous. Kids are meant to play outside! Every commercial that is on tv and radio now is about sending our kids outside to play!

These neighbors sound like old fuddy-duddys. First, they have an adult daughter living at home- who needs to take a nap at 2pm??

I would just tell your kids to stay away from their house, driveway, cars, whatever. They don't own the street and your kids have every right to play outside in a PUBLIC place!

Well today I was napping at 2pm and I will be asleap tomorrow at 2pm as well its known as night shift (and the last weekend I was working was a night shift as well so that is a reason to nap at the weekend as well.

 

[Hannathy]

I wouldn't talk to the neighbor and I wouldn't change a darn thing my kids were doing, unless they were in the neighbors yard. Just tell them to stay off their property and to continue playing how ever they were.

If the neighbors think there is a noise complaint let them call the police.

Kids are supposed to run and yell and jump and play outside from dawn till dark! I love hearing kids outside.

She can get earplugs if she needs to sleep, not your kids problem. (and this is from an old steady 11-7 shift worker)

 

[MIGrandma]

Geez, people complain when kids spend too much time indoors playing video games and watching TV then you get people who complain about them playing outside.

If I were the OP I would just ask the neighbors why they don't want the kids playing in the street anymore. The OP may not have gotten the whole story from her kids, so I would want to hear the neighbor's side of it as well.

If it's just the noise that bothers them, sorry but kids have the right to play outside and I think they have the right to play in the street if it's not a busy street, or especially a dead end/culdesac type, and if they are respective of cars and move out of the way for them, etc.

If someone needs to be sleeping at 2 in the afternoon, earplugs and a white noise machine would do the trick.

Do the neighbors not want people mowing their lawns in the afternoon as well? Or hosting a BBQ in their yards and having friends over? That would make for a noisy situation too.

If people have close neighbors they have to expect noise, I don't see how it can be avoided.

 

[usnuzuloose]

I can relate to the OP as I lived in a mobile home park that had just turned family. They did not want my kids outside, even in their own yard, cant ride the bikes. Tried to restrict me when they could swim. I even had threating phone calls to say my house was the next barbque. I had to get housing authorites involved and it even came down to a court trial with jury. We did win.

OP I would continue to let them outside, if the people are just irritated to the level of noise maybe you could explain to your children to not really yell in front of the home. But kids need to be outside and getting excercise. I hope it goes well. Please keep us posted.