Neighbors told my kids they can't play outside anymore

[furb & dez]

What I do agree with is that the street is for cars. We have these annoying people down the street who put out those “caution children playing” turtles in the street and basically block the road (they expect you to turn your car around, exit the neighborhood and come in the other entrance). I totally admit to driving up to the turtles and honking until they move them out of the way so I can get to my house.

Seriously, they BLOCK the street?

My reaction would be either to run the damn thing over, or park and get out of my car, grab the thing, and toss it onto the sidewalk (hopefully breaking it).

You've got a front yard and most likely a back yard - kids can play there. There is no reason for kids to play in the street.

 

[Hannathy]

Seriously, they BLOCK the street?

My reaction would be either to run the damn thing over, or park and get out of my car, grab the thing, and toss it onto the sidewalk (hopefully breaking it).

Oh I so agree! there is no way they would be blocking my street. "Oops wonder what that noise was, better get the car checked soon" said to self as I flattened said turtle.

I don't mind kids playing in the street some things are better there, just move out of the way for cars and have a blast.

 

[wendy46001]

Oh I so agree! there is no way they would be blocking my street. "Oops wonder what that noise was, better get the car checked soon" said to self as I flattened said turtle.

I don't mind kids playing in the street some things are better there, just move out of the way for cars and have a blast.

Seriously, they BLOCK the street?

My reaction would be either to run the damn thing over, or park and get out of my car, grab the thing, and toss it onto the sidewalk (hopefully breaking it).

You've got a front yard and most likely a back yard - kids can play there. There is no reason for kids to play in the street.

Yup they block the whole road so junior is safe to play
On my less than sunny days I've had the run it down thought
truly though i would probably just dent my bumper
instead of the wonderful crunch my happy thoughts envision

 

[Mama Who]

I think the best thing I can do is just to go there and talk to them to see what exactly the problem was.

This is a good idea. Kids don't always fully grasp or relay a message in detail. If they were in the street and caused a close call with a car a frightened adult may well have chewed them out and told them to "go home and quit playing in the street" which can become (in kidspeak) "never play outside again!"

Clearly your kids are allowed to play outside. If there are reasonable ways to reduce the friction, see what you can do, but your kids can play outdoors.

 

[LIDisneyFan]

Street are for everyone. Cars, people who curb their dogs, people riding bicycles, people jogging, and yes-children playing.

OP-I would just watch the next time they are out and see if they are doiung anything which would make you feel they shouldn't. If not-then let kids be kids.

 

[bumbershoot]

I would have to talk to the neighbor. The street comment makes methinks the kids were being dangerous.

Well, I'll tell you, I'm not an old fuddy duddy and I remember playing in the street as a kid, but I can feel my blood pressure rising every time I come down my street due to the kids playing on it. They don't seem to see any difference between their front yard and the street, don't seem to know that the primary function of a street surface is for the conveyance of vehicular traffic or that if my car hits one of them, it's not the car who will suffer the most. I cannot tell you the number of times I've had kids play "chicken" with my car or the number of times I've had to thank god that my brakes work because some kid ran from inbetween parked cars into the street -- including my next door neighbor's eighteen month old who's out there BY HIMSELF in the street. And btw -- we live in a middle class, new suburban development.

So if your kids play outside on the street, do they know the rules of playing on the street?

-Make way for cars
-Do not yell at the drivers of cars to "Get off the effing road!"
-Do not throw stuff at cars
-Do not pretend to throw stuff at cars
-Do not pretend to dart in front of a car because it's fun to give a driver a heart attack
-Do not run into the street -- either on foot, scooter, or bike -- without looking

We had to move from a lovely apartment for two reasons, and one of them was the behavior like you described. The feral children were terrorizing the adults like that. Our lowest downstairs neighbors all had something like achondroplasia, and the children were absolutely tiny. They had NO sense of this at all, and would pop out running at full speed from between parked cars. Two miles per hour wasn't slow enough in that parking lot, and you NEVER knew if one of those kids was going to appear. Pulling out from your parking space was especially terrifying.

I'm all for kids playing outside but what's wrong with the yard, the driveway or the sidewalk?

I agree.

Because it is a good opportunity to teach them safety rules about being in the street.

Ah. My safety rule for the street was passed down from my mom, and from her mom. Super easy. NO playing in the street at all! Ever. We lived on a dead end, gravel and dirt road that no one came down....and we stayed in our driveway and yard unless we were taking an actual walk to the creek, and then we were expected to be calm and walk on the side single file. We might have been on the road, but the rule of NO playing on the road still stood!


The other rule was NO screaming. Unless you were truly, drastically, hurt. My little cousin stayed with us for awhile, and she liked to just stand outside and scream. my mom finally got through to her by explaining that unless she was being attacked by a tiger, there was to be no more screaming.

I make sure that DS keeps himself from yelling too loudly while playing (even at the park) and if we moved to a house and found out that someone worked nights, the noise level would go down even more. I so pluses no reason for children to scream and yell during play, just like my mom, and her mom before her. Probably goes back further as well but I can't prove it.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I wouldn't talk to the neighbor and I wouldn't change a darn thing my kids were doing, unless they were in the neighbors yard. Just tell them to stay off their property and to continue playing how ever they were.

If the neighbors think there is a noise complaint let them call the police.

Kids are supposed to run and yell and jump and play outside from dawn till dark! I love hearing kids outside.

She can get earplugs if she needs to sleep, not your kids problem. (and this is from an old steady 11-7 shift worker)

You know what? I've reconsidered. I think you are right.

The only thing I'd add is to tell the kids to come tell me if the neighbor says something to them. We could have a chat then.

 

[luvmy3]

Really? Wow.
You just sound like the neighbor that refused to keep his barking dog inside while our "backyard" neighbor was dying from a brain tumor 27 years old.

Right, thats a fair comparison. When you can come up with something rational feel free to come back and quote my post, otherweise you just need to get over your sanctimonious self

 

[disneyofcourse]

It depends on the street 100%. If its a dead end type thing with minimal traffic I would think kids playing in the street would be fine. Now a busy subdivision street? Near a blind corner? High speed limit road? No way that's safe. Our street has a 15mph sign and that's still not slow enough to stop really quickly if a kid plays chicken with your car. I think kids belong in front yards, back yards and in parks and not sharing the road with cars. Streets are dangerous for kids who are only paying attention to playing. Its just an accident waiting to happen and maybe I think like that because a kid got hit in front of our neighbors house two years ago.(He ended up ok)

 

[Ceila]

Really? Wow.
You just sound like the neighbor that refused to keep his barking dog inside while our "backyard" neighbor was dying from a brain tumor 27 years old.

You're really not comparing the two situations, are you?? Because while the other poster may have written "for any reason," I don't think any reasonable person would take that completely literally.

 

[luvmy3]

You're really not comparing the two situations, are you?? Because while the other poster may have written "for any reason," I don't think any reasonable person would take that completely literally.

Actually the "for any reason" was in reference to why the dd was sleeping, which is what it said in my previous post about her working, drinking or being lazy.

 

[WowLookAtThat]

Unless it is a main road I don't know why kids wouldn't be able to play in the street. I played in the street all the time growing up. We would play street hockey, soccer, baseball, and stuff like that. If a car was coming we would move.

I have a lot of kids on my street now and they are always playing in the street. If a car comes they move. It beats sitting around in the house and playing video games all the time.

I would also never complain about kids playing too loudly outside during the day.

Exactly! I remember everyone saying "Car" and we had to move the heck out of the way. The kids are playing at a reasonable hour and unless they are screaming bloody murder then I think they are fine.

 

[denisem]

Street are for everyone. Cars, people who curb their dogs, people riding bicycles, people jogging, and yes-children playing.OP-I would just watch the next time they are out and see if they are doiung anything which would make you feel they shouldn't. If not-then let kids be kids.

Sorry, but there are FL Statutes in place regarding proper use of public roads by pedestrians:

http://archive.flsenate.gov/statutes/index.cfm?m&App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0300-0399/0316/Sections/0316.2045.html

Bicycle regulations:

http://archive.flsenate.gov/statutes/index.cfm?m&App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0300-0399/0316/Sections/0316.2065.html

If I were the OP, I'd talk to the neighbor & see if the problem is noise or playing in the street. If it's noise, the neighbor needs to deal with earplugs (whether she's hungover, working nights, dying of cancer or is a vampire).

However, if the kids are playing in the street, that's another story. It was great fun playing street hockey in the "good old days", but with drivers distracted by cellphones/whatever, and the recent thread about frightened teenage drivers, I wouldn't chance it anymore. Why do they need to play in the street anyway? Can't they shoot hoops in the driveway or ride their bikes to the nearest playground/empty parking lot to play street hockey where they don't have to worry about cars?

 

[C.Ann]

On the DIS? Say it ain't so!!!!!!!! At least no one thinks she is having an affair because she took a while to get her hair cut.

Patience FD - patience.. The thread is still young..

We need more kids playing outside - not less..

In the road? Depends on the road and the traffic - as well as the kids being polite and moving out of the way in a timely fashion..

As long as the kids aren't in the neighbors yard - or bothering their vehicles - I don't see it as a problem.. Even if someone is working a 2nd or 3rd shift, they can't expect the rest of the neighborhood to have to live around their schedule..

 

[discnewbie]

Neighbours shouldn't tell kids not to play outside... but I believe kids, generally speaking, should not play on the street.

We live on a small crescent which is pretty quiet. There are several children who play outside on the street -- basketball nets are set up, street hockey, skateboarding with ramps, etc. Unfortunately the 'hot spot' they tend to play is just behind one of the curves. There are several mature trees in this area, obstructing view of the street around this curve, so if a car tears down this street (as they sometimes do) and if the kids are outside at this time, I would fear as to what could happen.

I also wouldn't blame the neighbours if the kids were in their front or back yards.

We've found half-eaten cookies and other treats on our windowsills and in our front garden. We used to have a couple of children who would play with our garden hose (at the side of our hose). These same children have been known to scale backyard fences. We also caught them playing on our car and our neighbour's car. When my husband went to the neighbours (nicely) to tell them it was dangerous to play on cars, the wife said "Boys will be boys". No discipline whatsoever. Meanwhile my husband's back wiper was damaged, likely by their play (we didn't witness that part unfortunately).

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

Why can't they go to the playground? Or in the yard/backyard? Streets are for cars, sidewalks are for vehicle-less people. I never played in the street, and I think it's weird unless it's a cul-de-sac or something similar. We went to the park, the play ground, or the school to play.

I don't really think it's nice that the neighbors told the kids not to play, I think they should have gone to the parents at least. But as a person who lives next to very loud neighbors with kids that play all the time in their long driveway that is right next to my bedroom window, I can definitely understand. I hate my neighbors so much, just so you know, so maybe I am biased.

Maybe you can respect the fact that they decided it was important enough to talk to your kids, so it must have been VERY important to them. Even if they didn't necessarily go about it in a way you like. Maybe send them to the playground?

 

[jodifla]

I grew up on a cul-de-sac; we played outside all day on it.

We now live on a quiet suburban street, and heck, the ADULTS play in it.

 

[PeterPan09]

I live in an apartment complex that was designed with ample areas of grass, pools, sidewalks and a playground. And the kids STILL play in the streets and the parking lots. Why would you play football in the street when there are literally football sized fields of grass not a block away from you?? It can be scary driving around sometimes.

and honestly, is it really that much of a hardship to consider the needs of others in the neighborhood? If you have a neighbor who is on the night shift, or ill is it really so oppressive to ask the kids to play somewhere that isn't directly outside their window?

God forbid any of our little darlings are ever asked to remember that they live in a world populated by other people. They might actually have to realize that the entire universe doesn't revolve around them!

 

[Ceila]

God forbid any of our little darlings are ever asked to remember that they live in a world populated by other people. They might actually have to realize that the entire universe doesn't revolve around them!

I think the same thing could be said of anyone who expects kids to be quiet while outside on a Saturday afternoon.

 

[Hannathy]

I think the same thing could be said of anyone who expects kids to be quiet while outside on a Saturday afternoon.