Need some advice about my Mom

[Sonya]

As some of you may know my Mom is fighting breast cancer for the 2nd time. (both stage 1) She has gone through 4 treatments of chemo and had a few minor problems, just with a very low white blood count. When chemo is over she will do 8 weeks of radiation and then take a pill that is like chemo for post menoposal women but without all the side effects.
She recently went to the DR and he told her he would like to give her 4 more months of another chemo drug, something that starts with a T, but that it would only give her a 5% more chance of beating it.

Mom doesn't want to take it.

It's not that chemo was such a horrible experience, she just wants to be well and get on with her life. Plus this new chemo drug attacks the heart and could lead to heart complications. This scares her. And she told me that no matter what she does she feels that the cancer is going to come back anyway. This breaks my heart. I KNOW she can beat this. She is very strong. I want her to be around for her future grandchildren.
She told me she will make an informed educated decision. I guess my question is, has anyone had experience with this? What did you do? What would you do if it was you?

 

[bananiem]

I'd encourage her to ask the doctor why, specifically, he feels she should do this extra treatment. I'd also encourage her to get a 2nd opinion. It doesn't hurt to see if 2 doctors agree on the same treatment.
On the other hand, parents can be very stubborn creatures!!
Good luck to you both!

 

[Kermit]

I don't have any advice, just {{{hugs}}} and prayers.

 

[ReneeA]

I don't know what to say, Sonya. What a rotton thing to happen to your mom (and your whole family).

I'll just keep you in my prayers.


ReneeA

 

[Serena]

Maybe she should speak with others that have survived it, or used that specific drug and survived it.

I don't know what else to suggest.

 

[Boots]

No advice. But I have said a prayer and am sending you and her some HUGS!!!

 

[Gail T AGAIN]

I wonder is asking this question on the disability board you might get some type of answer. I am sorry to hear all you and your mom and family are going through. I sh i could hhelp but I can't. Please let us know how you make out.

 

[FTWFAN]

Sonya, I know I have told you about my mom's cancer situation, so I can relate with what you are going through. No one can tell you or our mom what is the right thing to do. It is something you have to decide on and then live with the consequences of your decision. I may get flamed for what I am about to say, but this is what I lived through and I know it was the best for us at the time.

My mom battled cancer for the first time when I was only 2yo. Fortunately, she lived for 32 more years after her first battle. She lived to see all 4 of her grandchildren born! She loved her family and her life. When she found out she had cancer the second time, she was devastated(as we all were) and she gave it a good fight. After battling cervical cancer for more than 20 months, she and I had a long talk in her hospital room one morning. She told me that she was "tired of fighting"! I told her that I understood. I also told her that I loved her and didn't want to lose her, but I did understand. She opted for no more chemo and for the next little while she felt great and we all(as a family) enjoyed what time we had left with her! Those were wonderful days, with her having more energy than she had had in a while(because of the chemo draining her so). She played with her grandkids, visited with her brothers and sisters and in that time we all said "I love you" to each other more than we ever had before! We were with her until the end, and taking her final breath, she looked at me, my DH, Ashton(Oddball), my sister, her DH and DD and my Dad! She smiled the most beautiful smile I had ever seen and went to Heaven!

I miss her more than anything and there are still times when I go to the phone to call her!!!!!But I know in my heart that she was tired of fighting and was ready to rest!

But, as the others have said, please request that she get a second opinion. There is always hope and you hang on to that hope and ask God to help her make the right decision! But, no matter what she decides(as difficult as it may be for you to understand) please let her know that you will support her and be there for her!

I am sorry this is so long and sorry if I have upset anyone! But this is what I went through and the way I feel about it! And, Sonya, please know that my prayers are with you and your mother.

 

[Sonya]

Thanks everyone, thanks FTWFAN for telling you story. I know she needs to talk with her Dr and perhaps get a 2nd opinion, and she is doing that, I will make sure!
I really don't feel like this is it for her, that she or the Dr is going to give up. The Dr told us she has a good 10 years left or so, but of course there are no guarantees. It could be longer, she could beat this for life! But she doesn't think so, the cancer coming back really shook her up, even though it was a really small lump.

It's hard.

Thanks again everyone.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Hi Sonya. If 'only' Stage 1' as you said, that is certainly the most treatable of cancers. I know when Marie was making her choices with Stage III, one of her choices was bone marrow transplant. She elected to go with a very aggressive chem protocol. Subsequently, the bone marrow regimen, oftentimes deadly in of itself with the destruction of your immune system, proved to be essentially ineffective for breast cander treatment, though still effective for other cancers. We are so happy she chose what she did, based on serious forethought.

Marie did take a 'T' chemo, among the several she took. It was Taxol, though that is not new. She also took Adriamycin, which is very debillitating to the heart, plus one other.

I too, hope she does a 2nd opinion, Sonya. My prayers and best continue for her.

Thanks, FTWFAN, for relating that nice story of your mom.

{{Hugs}}

Dan

 

[JAP]

My mom also took Taxol after her chemo treatments. I am glad to see she is a 2 year survivor now.

Good luck and you and your mom will be in my prayers.