Need Relationship Advice

[mylilnikita]

Oh man if it's true that is the second time today I fell for a troll trap.

 

[lustergirl]

no romance without finance- ain't nothing going on but the rent- ha!!

Run very fast!!

 

[DVCJEN]

Everyone can make a mistake. He says has made 2 and says both are crazy. I see many red flags here and lots of baggage. I know being alone is hard but facing the idea of being cast as "crazy wife #3" would be much more painful.

Wishing you the best. You deserve better.

 

[Brer Frog]

My tag is going off...

Sorry it sounds made up, but it's my life right now

 

[Thats_for_Shore]

Thanks for the advice so far. What do I see in him? He dotes on me like no other man has before. He is very affectionate and tells me he adores me. He's brilliant and funny... teaches me something I didn't know every day and makes me laugh every day!

Let me put it this way. If I had a sugar daddy (or momma in his case), I'd be sucking up to them, too. I wouldn't want to lose my free ride. Which is exactly what you're giving him.

 

[Doesney]

Heck, I would dote on you and pay you all the attention you could handle if I was living free.

 

[DorkyDisneyMom]

Are you with my mom's third husband?

If you are, run for the hills.

If you aren't, run for the hills. He will not change. He will not trust you. He may marry you and then take YOU to the cleaners. He hates women, he hasn't had a serious girlfriend. hmmmm

Get out while you can. You may save yourself 10 years of hurt. My mom didn't and it was an ugly 10 years.

 

[poohandwendy]

Thanks for the advice so far. What do I see in him? He dotes on me like no other man has before. He is very affectionate and tells me he adores me. He's brilliant and funny... teaches me something I didn't know every day and makes me laugh every day!

His last divorce was 7 or so years ago and he has had one other serious girlfriend since then.

So enjoy his company. Sounds like the dating part works for you.

Why the need to move him in and/or marry him?

 

[PlutosFriend]

Oh man if it's true that is the second time today I fell for a troll trap.

Oh oh I can understand someone not using their real user name when they have a personal problem, so you never know. I am curious what the other troll issue was?

 

[petrymom]

kick him to the curb, sister!!!!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

A man who loves you would step up to the plate like a man and want to pay his share.

A man would not want to mooch off anybody.

If he had been divorced for a very short time, I owuld probably be a bit more lenient on his "I hate marriage" tirade. But, his last divorce was 7 years ago...he should be over it by now. And if he's not, you don't want to get in the middle of THAT.

How exactly does he dote on you? By telling you he never wants to get married, but he has no problem living in your house rent free, paying nothing toward expenses. In my world, we don't call that "doting".

Brilliant? I guess he is, since he's hooked himself up to a cocoa deal...Live in a woman's house, make her pay all the expenses, and all I have to do is make her laugh and throw her a few compliments every day.

I also would be concerned about getting involved with someone who has been divorced more than once. My theory is: One divorce is a mistake. We were young and stupid. We were old and stupid. We were lonely. We lost something along the way. We grew apart. Two divorces...well, I start to think that 2 different people can't be wrong.

You're being taken advantage of. If you wish to allow it, that's your choice. It's not a choice I would make...I have more self-respect than that.

 

[diznygirl]

Thanks for the advice so far. What do I see in him? He dotes on me like no other man has before. He is very affectionate and tells me he adores me. He's brilliant and funny... teaches me something I didn't know every day and makes me laugh every day!

His last divorce was 7 or so years ago and he has had one other serious girlfriend since then.

Sounds a lot like my dad. Charms the women, and then gets to live with them. Didn't even officially divorce my mom, but don't tell that to the current GF who wears his engagement ring....

 

[Pam]

In the past 2 months, he has offered no contribution to living expenses and I haven't requested any. After one of his women-hating tirades several nights ago, he tells me he really doesn't want to get married. Marriage is all upside for women, downside for men.

OK I love this man. He's living in my house, free of charge. I don't want to lose him, but I also don't want to be taken advantage of.

I need advice.

sounds like he's taking you to the cleaners this time. Either get him to share in living expenses or ship him out!

My answer: You don't want to be take advantage of? Honey, he's living in your house, free of charge. He goes off on women-hating tirades. He thinks marriage is upside for women, downside for men. You ARE being taken advantage of. I agree with with Helene!

Thanks for the advice so far. What do I see in him? He dotes on me like no other man has before. He is very affectionate and tells me he adores me. He's brilliant and funny... teaches me something I didn't know every day and makes me laugh every day!

I personally wouldn't consider a man sponging off of me and subjecting me to women-hating tirades to be doting and affectionate! It doesn't appear that he's that funny if he has you upset. Are you laughing while questioning the fact that he really doesn't want to get married and that he hates women?

Heck, I would dote on you and pay you all the attention you could handle if I was living free.

No offense, Doesney, but if I were the OP I would kick the no good bum to the corner and get a dog or a cat.

 

[Becky2005]

Let me put it this way. If I had a sugar daddy (or momma in his case), I'd be sucking up to them, too. I wouldn't want to lose my free ride. Which is exactly what you're giving him.

That was *my* thought! He's not stupid! He knows he's got a good thing going -- free living arrangement, no commitment so he can bail at anytime without the expense of divorce issues and can't consider himself "taken to the cleaners" a 3rd time.

IF when you start making him pay for expenses, he's still just as sweet then things are good. My hunch is he will start comparing you to his ex-wifes and start thinking you are trying to take him to the cleaners and may not be quite as nice as he's been.

 

[Brer Frog]

I honestly (stupid I know) thought he would OFFER to contribute once he moved in. Why haven't I asked? Because I know he has hangups with money and didn't want him to think I'm after his money. I'm perfectly capable of supporting myself.

Now I just know when I bring up an equitable split of living expenses, he's going to say, "I knew it! YOU ARE after my money!"

 

[aprilgail2]

Married and Divorced TWICE - sounds like a real prize!!! I would RUN and not look back from this one!!!

 

[poohandwendy]

I honestly (stupid I know) thought he would OFFER to contribute once he moved in. Why haven't I asked? Because I know he has hangups with money and didn't want him to think I'm after his money. I'm perfectly capable of supporting myself.

Now I just know when I bring up an equitable split of living expenses, he's going to say, "I knew it! YOU ARE after my money!"

Wow, he has you trained, doesn't he? He has you thinking exactly the way he wants you to.

The cool thing about his not contributing is that when you kick his butt to the curb, there won't be anything to discuss.

If you are smart, you will do exactly that and move on to someone who doesn't have such issues.

 

[Pam]

Now I just know when I bring up an equitable split of living expenses, he's going to say, "I knew it! YOU ARE after my money!"

No - you are after his share of the expenses!

 

[Doesney]

I honestly (stupid I know) thought he would OFFER to contribute once he moved in. Why haven't I asked? Because I know he has hangups with money and didn't want him to think I'm after his money. I'm perfectly capable of supporting myself.

Now I just know when I bring up an equitable split of living expenses, he's going to say, "I knew it! YOU ARE after my money!"

I am shaking my head here. You are in such denial. You need to know you are being USED. Wake up and smell the coffee (that you bought & paid for)

 

[DorkyDisneyMom]

Ok so I'm gonna say that if you have to come to a Disney website and ask for relationship advice from people you don't know. There is a problem. If there weren't why would you be asking us?!