Need Relationship Advice

[GJM]

I agree what EVERYONE has said here - he needs to pay for his 1/2 of the expenses. Of course he will dote on you - he has a free ride.

Run!

 

[Brer Frog]

Ok so I'm gonna say that if you have to come to a Disney website and ask for relationship advice from people you don't know. There is a problem. If there weren't why would you be asking us?!

My family & friends love him and have accepted him. I don't want to go to any of them for fear it may cause them to dislike him in the future.

 

[Crankyshank]

Personally I don't care how sweet and doting a man is. If he's spewing misogynistic stuff like that and mooching off of me, he's not worth it.

You're not a gravy train, and if he flips out on you for asking him to share living expenses (not pay for everything - share), then you should remind him of that.

 

[PlutosFriend]

I honestly (stupid I know) thought he would OFFER to contribute once he moved in. Why haven't I asked? Because I know he has hangups with money and didn't want him to think I'm after his money. I'm perfectly capable of supporting myself.

Now I just know when I bring up an equitable split of living expenses, he's going to say, "I knew it! YOU ARE after my money!"

If he really cared for you, wouldn't he want to be a real man and pay his share?

 

[punkin]

My BIL has been married twice. He claims both his wives were crazy. He claimed all his girlfriends in between the wives were crazy. He claims all women are crazy. Surprisingly enough, there are still some people who believe him. Me, I just think he's crazy.

Run for the hills, OP. This guy is TROUBLE.

 

[Pam]

The OP has a rebuttal to everything we suggest.

The dude must give mind-blowing sex.... but I think it would be cheaper to just rent a gigolo now and then...

 

[PlutosFriend]

The OP has a rebuttal to everything we suggest.

The dude must give mind-blowing sex.... but I think it would be cheaper to just rent a gigolo now and then...

It still wouldn't be the same for me tho, if he is a cheap-butt! Ewww. Mooch...ewww.

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

So enjoy his company. Sounds like the dating part works for you.

Why the need to move him in and/or marry him?

I totally agree!

Slow down a bit, spend more time getting to know him. Seven months isn't all that long. Many people find that they can be happy being in relationships that don't come to marriage or living together. There's nothing wrong with living alone, but oftentimes people think there is and they marry the first person who comes along. For some reason, society pressures single people and tells them what they need, as though living alone is some kind of disease. It's not! Unfortunately, all too often, people let somebody move in with them so they won't be alone. They then see there is a big difference between merely being alone and being lonely. You may have a body next to you at night, but you can still feel very, very lonely living with a house mate that makes you feel unappreciated, used, or taken advantage of.

 

[DorkyDisneyMom]

My family & friends love him and have accepted him. I don't want to go to any of them for fear it may cause them to dislike him in the future.

No, you probably aren't telling them because they would say the same stuff that we are.

Run Forrest Run!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I honestly (stupid I know) thought he would OFFER to contribute once he moved in. Why haven't I asked? Because I know he has hangups with money and didn't want him to think I'm after his money. I'm perfectly capable of supporting myself.

Now I just know when I bring up an equitable split of living expenses, he's going to say, "I knew it! YOU ARE after my money!"

Come on....if he says that to you it should be clear that he is FREELOADING.....

Why are you so blind? This is about YOU.

 

[Brer Frog]

Come on....if he says that to you it should be clear that he is FREELOADING.....

Why are you so blind? This is about YOU.

I guess love is blind? I wanted to SHOW him that I'm not after any $ because he's been hurt so badly in the past by those he trusted. I really don't need the $, but I'm starting to really resent that he hasn't even offered.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I guess love is blind? I wanted to SHOW him that I'm not after any $ because he's been hurt so badly in the past by those he trusted. I really don't need the $, but I'm starting to really resent that he hasn't even offered.

You wanted to "show" a MAN that you aren't out to get his money....

Honey you just fell for the oldest trick in the book.

 

[DVCLiz]

Add up all the money you have spent on him, ever. Then add in all the living expenses he should be paying but is not. Then determine how long you are willing for it to go on, and factor in all that money, too.

When you have the grand total, then you can clearly see how much this education is costing you. The nice thing, though, is that once you graduate you won't have any student loans - the money will already have been spent. And you will have a PhD in understanding when you are being taken advantage of...

 

[punkin]

I guess love is blind? I wanted to SHOW him that I'm not after any $ because he's been hurt so badly in the past by those he trusted. I really don't need the $, but I'm starting to really resent that he hasn't even offered.

OK, you showed him for several months. Now tell him that HE is a drag on your finances. If he contributes (it is possible he just doesn't offer cause he's a man and they are sometimes dense about the most surprising things) then you can give him a chance. If he makes a fuss-KICK HIM OUT!

 

[Brer Frog]

You wanted to "show" a MAN that you aren't out to get his money....

Honey you just fell for the oldest trick in the book.

 

[mjkacmom]

I can't imagine moving in with someone in that short of a time! Anything under a year is practically a stranger! If he's showing his true colors already, I can't imagine what he'll be like years from now. DH and I moved in together before we were married, but we dated 5 years before that.

You are still in the "honeymoon phase" of your relationship, and yet you hesitate to mention the fact that he's taking advantage of you? I give you a few more months at most.

 

[DorkyDisneyMom]

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free??

 

[PlutosFriend]

I guess love is blind? I wanted to SHOW him that I'm not after any $ because he's been hurt so badly in the past by those he trusted. I really don't need the $, but I'm starting to really resent that he hasn't even offered.

You said you were late 30's? Love should be real clear by now!

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

It's obvious you are uncomfortable with the idea of discussing this with your boyfriend. I'm going to tell you what my mother told me many years ago. You simply have no business living with or marrying somebody that you cannot talk to about finances, household planning, sex, health, religion, family, and future plans. If you can't sit down and talk about these things without fear of being mistrusted or fear of starting a fight, then you should really rethink this. Communication is the single biggest factor to success in a relationship. It doesn't sound like you guys have that. Just because he gives you attention and dotes on you does not mean he has any desire to communicate with you.

You are young. The right partner is out there for you. It would suck if you missed him because you were busy trying to prove your love and worth to this guy.

 

[poohandwendy]

I guess love is blind? I wanted to SHOW him that I'm not after any $ because he's been hurt so badly in the past by those he trusted. I really don't need the $, but I'm starting to really resent that he hasn't even offered.

We really can't help you with this.

You either can communicate how you feel with him or not. I think he sounds like a jerk and people who love you don't need you to pass some test, but if you are willing to settle for that and want to prove to him that you are worthy, all the power to ya. Good luck with it.