Need Relationship Advice

[TinkerbellMama]

Bad idea having him move in.

He isn't the right one.

He has way too many issues, and your relationship has been moving too fast for you to see that clearly.

Dump him and move on.

If you don't, you'll regret it someday and then you won't be able to get those "wasted" years of your life back.

Trust me...it won't get any better.

I'm sorry.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Re-read what you wrote to us. If it were your daughter or your best friend or your sister... seriously, what would you think?

He is manipulating you.

I remember this from a good book. Loser boyfriend hitches a ride with girlfriend and pals in a taxi. Said boyfriend says, "I'm not paying my portion because you'd all have to pay the same if I were here or not."

Sound familiar?

In the above scenario, the proper response would be: Yeah, uhm if you weren't here we'd have more room, pay up.

Kick him out and kick him our hard, sez I.

 

[jenm2878]

I've been thinking about this thread and had to respond. I too was the girl dating the guy that everyone said I should break up with. I had every excuse in the book about why they were wrong, how they didn't know him, how they didn't understand. Well they were right, but I had to see it on my own. So I'm not going to jump on the 'break up with him' bandwagon.

However, from what you described he's not all that committed to the relationship. I would suggest to him that you want to find a different place to live together to make a fresh start. That way he doesn't feel like you're profiting off him living with you and you don't feel like he's not contributing. Tell him it's a way to start your life off together 50/50, and to make a home that's both of yours. His reaction should tell you everything you want to know about the relationship.

 

[Tuffcookie]

OP,

Time to cut this one loose. The fact that he would move out before contributing to joint expenses speaks volumes for his character.


TC

 

[Pumbaa_]

he would rather move out than share expenses. If that doesn't say it all, nothing ever will.

Chalk it up to life experience, have him leave and then cut all ties with him. If this man had honest intentions, you would not be looking for opinions here.

What would Dr. Phil say to you?

 

[mickeysgal]

time to have that ring appraised

That value of that ring can't be high enough to justify the freeloading and the head games he's playing.

Sharing living expenses isn't going "after his money". Give me a break. What a whinny baby he is.

Time to grow up and take those rose colored glasses off. You deserve far, far better than this. You are worth far more than this.

Ask yourself this, if you had a daughter (not sure if you do), and your daughter had a guy move in with her under these type of circumstances, what would you say to her?? Would you want this for your own daughter? No - I didn't think so. And you shouldn't want it for yourself.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Wow,

Sorry, you are getting what you are asking for....
I am not hear to tell you how lame he is, or what a pushover you are...
I am hear to give you a strong warning.

Personally, I would pack his stuff,
change the locks,
secure ALL of my accounts... change their acct#'s and pins...

And then, contact a good psychologist/therapist to find out why I would put myself in such a situation.

 

[livie1205]

:: when i first started seeing my dh we lived in a townhouse with my son and his son...i had just got divorced and he had a very nasy devorce...so he was like well i am never getting married,never sharring bank act ect...well we did get engaged after a year of living together and we started buiding a house. got married ..wellplans were drawn then it was........IF yall move in with me and ds then so so...well WAIT A DANG MINUTE HERE "ARE YOU CRAZY?" iF WE ARE GETTING MARRIED THEN THAT HOME IS OURS TOO! I told him I would be living in a house taking care of a house and it NOT be my home! no way and I was 5 months pregnant.I told me and my 5 month pregnant butt would get my **** and leave..well when we walked into closing after signing all the papers, we pulled out quit claim papers to sell his house to me and him for $1 and filed it...we built that house together,furnished it together our family lives in that house ITS OURS .....

 

[disykat]

Think of it this way, when he is sponging off you he is STEALING your money. He is being dishonest and cheating you by the way he is using you. They say there's no such thing as a free ride, but it looks like he's found one.