Need information about all kinds of disabilities. I know you can help!

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I'm on a Diversity Committee. Each month we have a "feature topic" and try to provide education and insight on different topics.

One of the things we will be focusing on is what obstacles people with different kinds of disabilities have to face. Also, what are things that people should do (or not do) to provide assistance and to just plain respect the rights and needs of other people.

I've learned some things from friends with different disabilities. However, you are all very knowledgable and helpful, and I'm hoping you tell me some things that it would be good to educate people about. Thanks for any help or ideas you can give me!

 

[Cheshire Figment]

A few ideas, others will come up with more.

1. Don't stare.

2. In most circumstances, where there is a mobility problem the person will not have lost their intelligence, ability to hear, or ability to talk. If a person is is a chair (wheelchair, power chair or ECV) and someone is with them, talk to the seated person, not to the attendant.

3. If you want to provide some sort of assistance, ASK if there is something you can do to provide assistance; even if it just involves opening a door for someone. Other than maybe holding a door open don't assist before asking.

4. Respect the place in line of someone with a mobility problem, don't shove. Also, in a situation where there is a person seated to watch something (such as a parade), don't get in front of them.

5. If you are with a child, and the child expresses curiosity about an apparantly disabled person, let the child talk to the person; normally the child is trying to learn something and most people will not take umbrage at innocent questions.

 

[Talking Hands]

With the deaf and hard of hearing do not assume because they do not understand you speech that they can't understand. Try paper and pencil.

Do not assume because we wear hearing aids that we are corrected to perfect hearing. All hearing aids do is magnify sound, not just speech. If the background noise is high we still may not understand you. I can do really well one to one but in noisy situations I am lost and sometimes need an interpreter

Do not yell. It distorts your speech. Also don't slow your speech. Speak normally but face the deaf person and don't constantly turn away. I can't see around corners or if you are looking elsewhere. Don't be uncomfortable if deaf people seem to focus on your speech. They have to.

Do not assume we can speech read. Only 35% of English is understandable. We get a lot from context, facial expression and body language.

If there is a sign language interpreter do not address your questions to him/her but to the deaf person. Remember the interpreter will interpret all that is spoken so if you don't want it interpreted don't say it.

If you are using relay to call a deaf person speak as if you are talking directly to the person. Do not use terms such as tell him/her. The relay operator is not part of the conversation, only a conduit.

If you need to walk through 2 people signing just quickly do it. That is less distracting than making a big deal of it. Just go on through quickly.

Just because someone is deaf doesn't mean they don't talk. Depends on when the person lost their hearing. Some both sign and speak.

Don't stare at people signing. We're just talking the same as everyone else.

 

[Jingle]

Cheshire Figment and Talking Hands, Thank you very much for the information. The best source for information is from those that have experienced it. Your information is very useful and I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

I'd love to hear from anyone else who may have things to add!

 

[Amaris]

Our family has two children with a hidden disability... autism.

People are quick to assume our kids are out of control brats and we are terrible parents. We get comments from people about once a week ( looks, stares, you name it).

I have gotten tired of trying to explain it, most people that are ignorant enough to make comments, just look at you like you have two heads since they don't even know what autism is! One lady even said to me as my daughter was having a huge tantrum at SCHOOL that just because she had autism didn't give her 'the right' to tantrum in the library where it was a quiet area.

Good grief.

My thoughts? Some disabilites are invisible. Try not to fill in the blanks and point fingers at people when you don't have all of the details. Parents of children with autism feel low enough when this happens without dealing with public ridicule. We spend our lives trying to help our children fit in , not stand out. It is a full time job. The parents I know who have children like ours are the most dedicated, behaviorally sound people I know. We all just have to work ten times harder to make our kids "behave" 25% as well as typical children do on a good day...

 

[Jingle]

Amaris, dealing with other people who don't understand must be very difficult for you! Just goes to show you that people shouldn't always be so quick to judge other people.

Thanks for bringing up an excellent point, that's easy for many people to forget. Things aren't always obvious. Don't assume you know what someone else's situation is.

Good luck with everything! It sounds like your kids are lucky to have you for parents.

 

[signtalker]

following on from talking hands.
Dont assume if somebody uses sign language that they deaf!!, my Dh is deaf as well as my son, because i sign also(being an interpreteur) people think Im deaf also!.

When you talk to a deaf person, and they dont understand you, never say "Oh it doesnt matter"(very infuriating!!).

Jules

 

[signtalker]

Amaris, my son has multiple disabilities, one of these is autism, I always explain it like

walking a tightrope, balacing, cups and saucers in one hand and glasses in the other, whilst trying to turn round on one foot!!!.

Jules

 

[Talking Hands]

Originally posted by signtalker
following on from talking hands.
Dont assume if somebody uses sign language that they deaf!!, my Dh is deaf as well as my son, because i sign also(being an interpreteur) people think Im deaf also!.

When you talk to a deaf person, and they dont understand you, never say "Oh it doesnt matter"(very infuriating!!).

Jules

Assuming a person that signs is deaf can really lead to trouble. I have been in restaurants with friends who are deaf and have had my aids on so I could hear most of what is said but am signing with them. Waitresses have assmed we were all deaf and made nasty comments. Boy were they embarassed when they realized I understood them.

And yes "NEVER MIND" is the most infuriating comment in the world.

 

[videogal1]

If you happen upon a person with a service dog, do not distract the dog by calling to it or touching it. It is considered rude to greet a service dog before greeting the dog's partner. I can't tell you how many times someone has passed me in a store and said "Hi puppy" and nothing more. Remember, not all service dogs are guide dogs for the blind so don't faint if you see me hop out from behind the wheel of my truck and grab Cash's harness handle...he's there to keep me from falling down...not to guide my direction.
We are taking on Disney World in January...See ya there...

 

[tinkrbel]

Cheshire Figment's, first comment "dont stare" .. wow that one hit home for us because my DH's first trip out in a wheelchair to a local zoo so many people were staring at him. It made him feel like a phony and like he should be ashamed to be in a wheelchair. (the trip before to the zoo with out a wheelchair we over heard comments about him being drunk ) He has MS and unless you saw him trying to walk you would get the impression that there was nothing wrong with him. He even had a radiologist say once "you just look too healthy to be sick" He also has a lot of hidden MS symtoms .. like how the heat/sun effects him, making everything worse.

 

[theladyjess]

I have an invisible disablity and I get stares from people when I park in a handicapped stall. I'm 25 and appear healthy. I have an autoimmune disorder known as Fibromyalgia, a condition that causes increased pain reception, and pain in the connective tissues of the body. It is similar to arthritis, except it effects tissue rather than joints.

Every day I wake up stiff and sore. I often drop things because I can't grip them very well. On a good day I feel like I'v run a marathon the day before, on a bad day even my hair and fingernails hurt. I am always tired, even if I've slept 12 or more hours. Normal things, such as weeding my garden, can make me hurt for over a week. I can not remember the last time I was pain free.

I also have Chrinic Fatigue Immune Disfunction Disorder (CFIDDs). This also causes me to be extremly tired and also effects my immune system. I can be around sick people and not catch anything, but I can also be around healthy people and get sick.

Due to these conditions, there are lots of other things that go along with them. I have Mutiple Chemical Sensitivity. Perfumes, fragrences, fumes, etc. all make me sick. I was at a paino rectial and the woman in front of me was wearing a perfume that gave me an asthma attack. I can't go down the laundry detergent or household cleaner asiles at the grocery store without the smells making me sick.

I have a Minature Schnauzer who is my service dog. He senses when my Fibromyalgia is going to flare and won't eat for 2-3 days before it happens. He also alerts me when I'm in a stressful situation so I can remove myself before my pain gets too bad. He's still in training and will eventually pick things up for me since I have a hard time bending down.

The best advice I can give you is not to judge what you don't understand. Yes, I look like I can do the same things as you, but I simply can't.
If you see me getting out of my car, don't assume that I'm abusing a handicapped parking stall. Even though I don't look like I'm in pain when I go into the mall, I'm limping so much that I can barely walk when I come out.
If you have a question about my codition, as me in a nonconfrontational way and I will be happy to discuss it with you. If you want to know about my service dog, just ask.
Please don't give me advice. I don't care if you know someone with a similar conditon, it effects us all differently. What helped someone else can hurt me.
Please don't tell me it's all in my head and that I can do things if I really put my mind to it. Some medical perfessionals don't believe that these are real condtions. Trust me the are! I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

I know this post is long, and thank you for letting me share my experiences. Those of you with autistic children are angles on earth. My friend has twin autistic boys, and has had her share of problems with people who don't or won't understand. Best of luck to you. We make this world a better place by being tolerant of those who aren't.