Need ideas, etc.

[chwgmjay]

So... one of my co-workers (my favorite lesbian) has an 8 year old nephew. He is quite often dressing in girl's clothes, saying he's a girl, etc.
She's looking for good family movies, etc. and/or good role models for him so that he understands that what he's doing is ok, etc. He quite often comes home from school crying because the other kids are making fun of him, etc. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Wow. Eeesh. Tough stuff for such a little guy. I honestly don't have any recommendations other than to reassure the heck out of him that he's ok, and the rest of those brats are the ones with the problems.

I suppose she's thought of finding a qualified (stress on qualified) child psychologist for him? One that will lead him through the self esteem issues and help him to understand that being different isn't being wrong? (Different from the majority is unique and wonderful, in other words).

 

[chwgmjay]

Wow. Eeesh. Tough stuff for such a little guy. I honestly don't have any recommendations other than to reassure the heck out of him that he's ok, and the rest of those brats are the ones with the problems.

I suppose she's thought of finding a qualified (stress on qualified) child psychologist for him? One that will lead him through the self esteem issues and help him to understand that being different isn't being wrong? (Different from the majority is unique and wonderful, in other words).

Yup. Depression runs in their family so he has a psychologist that's really good and reassures him, but he still has to deal with everything at school, etc.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

No advice, just wanted to offer some hugs to the little guy and his family.

DS is in middle school and there are a couple of boys who are always being harassed about being gay. Bless their hearts, they just deny it and try to ignore the remarks. I have only seen one of the boys, but he is OBVIOUSLY gay so it must be horrible for him to have to try to deny/defend/deflect all the time. Kids can be so evil.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

I know it's pretty controversial, but this is the sort of situation that makes me think that a school for only LGBT kids (or those who think they may be) is a good idea.

Yes, I know we can't protect children from the world, but sheesh 8 years old and having to deal with that crap? I'd want him in a safe place for a few years too.

Good that he has a qualified psychologist.

I don't know, would a talk with the class/students/school be of any use? You know, bring them all together and have an open discussion and use their obvious differences to point out that everyone is not the same?

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

We had a small GLBT high school for awhile, but it closed due to lack of funding. I have never heard of any sort of programs for kids younger than high school, though.

I know around here they do anti-bullying stuff, and the kids all sit there and nod, then they turn right around and bully some more.

 

[donald...really]

This American Life (NPR) had a story about finding your true match. This was one of the acts:

ACT TWO. TOM GIRLS.
Lilly and Thomasina have a lot in common. They’re both 8 years old. And they were both born boys, although it became clear pretty early on that they'd prefer to be girls. There aren’t all that many kids in the world like them, but recently, at a conference in Seattle on transgender parenting, they met. And they immediately hit it off. They could talk about things with each other that they'd never been able to share with other friends back home. And that’s comforting, even if they never see each other after the conference ends.

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/374/Somewhere-Out-There

Not sure if there are any resources for you there, but it might offer some leads. Plus, it's a great story.

While searching the NPR Archives for the above story, I also came across this:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90247842

 

[kingLouiethe1]

This American Life (NPR) had a story about finding your true match. This was one of the acts:

ACT TWO. TOM GIRLS.
Lilly and Thomasina have a lot in common. They’re both 8 years old. And they were both born boys, although it became clear pretty early on that they'd prefer to be girls. There aren’t all that many kids in the world like them, but recently, at a conference in Seattle on transgender parenting, they met. And they immediately hit it off. They could talk about things with each other that they'd never been able to share with other friends back home. And that’s comforting, even if they never see each other after the conference ends.

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/374/Somewhere-Out-There

Not sure if there are any resources for you there, but it might offer some leads. Plus, it's a great story.

While searching the NPR Archives for the above story, I also came across this:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90247842

I heard that story like a year or more ago, and it made such an impact that I still remember it.

 

[tig82174]

A great film about gender-non-conforming child is the film "Ma Vie En Rose." It's subtitled, so reading ability might be an issue...but I'm sure it's something that a supportive adult could watch WITH her nephew and discuss what's happening and what's being seen. Barbara Walters did a piece on 20/20 a couple years ago that was pretty well done, as well, about transgender children. You can search on youtube for video of the segments and the abc website has a link to the story here:

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=3088298&page=1

If you do a google search for the words "transgender children" you will also find a lot of online resources, documents and research----some of which also publish pretty extensive bibliographies of children's books, videos, etc. that reinforce positive messages about being gender non-conforming.

 

[donald...really]

I was also thinking of Ma Vie En Rose (one of my favorite films), but even though there is a happy ending, the movie shows the family struggling with acceptance, and I think that might be difficult for someone that young to watch. I guess it depends on the child.

 

[Hydani]

I have no other advice than what was already given, but I'm here to send a hug out. That little boy needs some good reassurance. I hope kids will become increasingly accepting of "different" people.