Need Help for Child's Nightmares

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

Sorry for the length....

My daughter is 7 and is very sensitive. For her sensitivity issues, we have begun to see a child psychologist. We've just finished some psych testing and will hope to find more information about that stuff next week. Her nightmares may or may not be related.

In her lifetime, I would say that she has woken me at least once during the night 40-50% of the nights due to nightmares or fears. (Translation: about 1000 times since she was born). Additionally, She's nearly impossible to get to sleep at night, and after I put her to bed, she gets out of the bed at least once. Our 4-year-old daughter has started sleeping with her to keep her company so she will no longer be scared.

There is no significant stress in our lives. We have a stable marriage, a stable home, and a generally happy family. After discovering that Scooby Doo was the root of her earlier nightmares, we removed him from her TV programming options. Those nightmares were replaced by everything from wild animals to reptiles to men crawling up into her second story windows to kidnap her.

When she wakes, she comes into my room crying and wakes me for help. The only thing that ever works to calm her is to move her to the downstairs sofa just outside our bedroom, cover her, and kiss her without allowing her to become completely awake. She rarely remembers the full dream in the morning, so reframing the dreams are not a good option.

My husband is a pilot with heavy flying duties, and so save a handful of these nights, he does not get up to get her resettled. On the occasion that he does, he isn't very gentle with her. After 5 wakings over a two-hour time, I finally let her get in our bed. She shook (nervous shakes) for about 15 minutes and continued to talk in her sleep for the remaining hour and a half before I had to get up for the day. She slept until 9 am.

Needless to say, I'm exhausted. I don't sleep very soundly, so on the occasions when she actually does get into our bed (which is not often), I don't sleep because of her constant moving/talking.

Does anyone here think this could be caused by some sort of physical condition, or do you know anyone who has gotten through this with help from a sleep disorders clinic? Please. She needs a good night's sleep, and so do I.

 

[disneygals]

My kids have had sleep/nightmare issues all their lives. I could go on and on, but I won't.....

These are my main points...my oldest fought sleep from birth til 6th grade when she finally was put on Zoloft for generalized anxiety disorder.

To help the lack of sleep issue, can you set up a place on your floor and tell her that if she wakes, go straight there and try to go back to sleep? And only wake you if she HAS to?

Don't be afraid to just give her what she needs now, even if it doesn't align with your (or someone elses) idea of how kids should sleep. It will pass, she will not do this forever!

 

[DisneyArk]

Wow, I can relate. I'm sorry to say I don't have any answers though. My ds is 7 and has never been a good sleeper. I too could go on and on, but I won't.

About a year ago he started having nightmares and is afraid to go to sleep. He's fine during the day. We have also started letting our 5 year old son sleep with his brother (in the trundle bed).

I feel your pain on the sleep deprevation.

I've tried to get DS7 to lay on the floor in my room and not wake me up. But he is usually crying and very upset about the dream. He wants to sleep in our bed, but there is just not enough room. So I spend time trying to get him settled on the floor. By the time I get back in bed I am wide awake.

I hope you are able to find some answers. I'm hoping DS will grow out of this...

 

[minkydog]

I think you're on the right track. She's not just "acting out" or "spoiled", she's genuinely frightened. I think your psychologist may be able to help, and I would definitely pursue something with a sleep clinic. She can't be resting well(you're definitely not!) Her fears are so disporportionate to the stress in her life, it makes me think there may be a chemical imbalance causing her panic. Until you get to the bottom of it, i'd consider letting her sleep on the couch for awhile just to give you some relief.

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

bumping for ideas from the night crew....

 

[pfishgirl]

Ok this may sound a little strange but can you and your daughter do Yoga and easy breathing and stretches before bed? Even if you do this for 10-15 minutes prior to sleeping. Also try a nice warm bath. I hope this helps..
Good Luck..

PS try looking up books at your local library for ideas and since Dis will be down, your library probably has a web site..

 

[clarabelle]

I have an anxious child. She does not have nightmares- but has had episodes of becoming very worried at bedtime
I think you are on the right track with the psychologist. In the meantime we have had some success with some CDs for relaxation

One called the Delta Sleep System
Another called: Indigo Dreams: Meditation and Relaxation Bedtime Stories for Children, Improve Sleep, Manage Stress and Anxiety

Both from Amazon
I also really liked a book called Freeing Your Child from Anxiety : Powerful, Practical Solutions to Overcome Your Child's Fears, Worries, and Phobias

We too have a very vanilla family -no real dysfunction. I think some kids are just like this- so don't blame yourself

One of my child's teachers said she sees it more in bright kids -they are bright enough to have concerns and worries about death and separation -that some children may not clue into.

I hope this helps

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

I'm sure it probably doesn't help that I'm a news junkie. It seems like there is so much going on in the world that if you don't keep tuned in you're going to miss something important.

We had another really bad night last night. When I sent he to bed, I got her tucked in with her stuffed animals and then sat with her until she went to sleep. She was up three times last night and finally got into bed with us on the fourth.

I'm tired again this morning.

 

[Dan Murphy]

No ideas, Paige, but a for you both.

 

[Aidensmom]

Are they nightmares (the child wakes up from them and has some recollection of what it was about) or night terrors (child will start screaming or crying, eyes open, but is not really awake and has no recollection whatsover of the dream)?

I suffered from both as a child, and still have both as an adult on occassion. For me, the nightmares are usually caused by some stressor in my life. For a child that stressor can be something as simple as a new routine at school. Night terrors, however, are usually caused by a chemical imbalance related to anxiety disorder or depression. Night terrors usually need to be dealt with on a professional level, be that counseling or medication.

My 4 year old son also has some problems with nightmares, as he is a pretty sensitive child and gets stressed by any change at all in his routine. What I have found that actually causes him to have less nightmares is that if I let him "camp out" on his floor to sleep rather than sleep in his bed. I am not sure why that works though, and it is probably something unique to him.

 

[Bashful2]

You'll probably think this is strange, but....have you ever heard of a dream catcher? When my DD was little, she started having nightmares every night. She too would wake up crying and scared, then wouldn't want to go back to sleep.

One day we were at a church bazaar and came across an American Indian dream catcher made by a member of our church. The belief is that the crystal in the center catches all of your nightmares before you have them and sends them off. DD wanted one so we bought it. I don't know if it was the power of suggestion or what, but after we put it over her bed she stopped having nightmares. Every 1-2 weeks, if she happened to have a nightmare, I would take it outside and make a production of shaking it out. We decided that maybee some of the nightmares were getting caught in the crystal and filling it up so the dreamcatcher couldn't catch anymore of her dreams. Afterwards, she would have a period of no nightmares again.

My best friend's son, about a year younger than her, also started having nightmares. My bgf bought one for her son and it worked for him too.

Most recently, my DD's friend who we adopted last year when she was 16, was having nightmares when she first came to live with us. I ordered a dreamcatcher for her off of the internet. It also worked for her.

I don't know if this will help you or not. I know it sounds weird, but who knows.

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

I don't know that she's really waking screaming. Our a/c intakes on both floors are stacked one on top of the other--the top is next to her room; the bottom is next to our room. The sound generally drowns out whatever initial noise she might make. But she's usually crying when she gets to my bed. She's almost always shaking when I touch her.

Either she doesn't remember what she's dreamed or she isn't telling me. But she is also usually awake (or at least more awake than I am) when she comes to my bed.

 

[dmfuru]

My 9 year old has night terrors/nightmares and sleepwalks when he is overly tired. At times when he's not asleep yet, he will say the walls are closing in on him which frightens him. Other nights he will have terrors where we go in and just soothe him or he will walk to our bed lie down next to me sleeping til morning. He doesn't remember how he got there.

 

[YourMajesty]

You are not alone. My DS (8) has nightmare and night terrors. For the nightmares I try to encourage DS to think of a good ending or a person or special aid to help...etc.

The night terrors are different. He does not wake up and can not be fully awakened. He will get up and use the bathroom but will look right though me. These are much worse when he is sick or extremely tired. These usually occur early (2 hours after going to sleep). I've been told that these are not always due to stress and can be heredity. We will see as my DS does have an anxious type personality.

As he grows older he seems to have more nightmares than night terrors and has a difficult time falling aleep (fearful). One day when he was at school last week I wrote out the words to You'll be in My Heart...trying to help him not feel so afraid. I put them near his alarm clock so he could see them at night. He siad they made him cry...oops... but he really liked it. I like the dreamcatcher idea. I think anything is beneficial can help them reduce their fears. If these are hereditary I know which side it came from.

I'm sure TV has more impact than I realize...like watching all the hurricane coverage etc...

 

[Luv2Roam]

I am not a sleep therapist or even a mother. But some of my thoughts -- and take them for what they are worth.
Make sure there is no great stimuli before bedtime (TV, games, loud music/noise, etc)
I have also read as a suggestion for those who have children who suffer from bad nightmares to find a comfort toy for the child. (Teddy bear, doll, whatever) And allow the child to only have that particular toy at bedtime. Kinda of a special bedtime friend.

It could be the child is suffering from great stress or has a sleep disorder.
Sounds like you had testing done. Hopefully the results will tell something.

For me personally I have found I know when I have a fever because that is when I have nightmares.

Generally speaking, nightmares act as a relief valve for stress.
The nightmare GETS and demands your attention to THINK about what really is bothering you. Your subconscious gives you warm and fuzzy dreams you don't remember. So in come the nightmares you WILL remember and think about.
They can release stress and tension. Of course a child cannot understand this.

Here is one nightmare tip -- for anyone. I have used it myself and it works.
We all have sometime that dream of being chased, run down, persued, etc.
As soon as you awaken, think back to the dream right before you awoke.
In your mind, STOP, turn and face whatever was chasing you.
Imagine a zipper going down the front of the would be attacker.
Unzip the zipper -- and what comes out?
Usually it is something so ridiculous you laugh. I always think I was afraid of THAT!?

Best of luck and keep us posted.