Need Divorce help ( Not for me)

[poohandwendy]

Hire the best attorney in town.

Denae

Yeah that...and like YESTERDAY

Good luck to her, that is awful.

 

[Diva of Dragons]

I am help a friend. Her hubby told her yesterday that he wants to get a divorce. They have 5 children with another due in 4 weeks. He told her would wait until the baby is born because it looks bad to divorce his 8 months pregnant wife and that he threated to take custody of the kids because she has no money ( she is a SAHM). What is her next step?

OMG! And it doesn't look bad to walk out on your and 6 kids!!??!! I think I would just say, "Go! Don't do me any favors!"

I think you have gotten really good advice here!

for your friend and her kids. I hope that she has happier days ahead once he is out of the house!

 

[Disney Doll]

Oh karma is going to bite him on the butt so bad one day he's not going to know what hit him!!!!!!!

I'd be getting the best lawyer in town and going for the jugular.

Can't afford it?? Use one of his credit cards.

She needs to get pissed. Yes, I know...hormones and all that. But she needs to get pissed. And fast.

 

[poohandwendy]

Based on experience ...

#1: Hire an attorney
#2: Get to the bank and change ALL accounts to her name

He can't threaten to get custody because she is a SAHM. She can go on public assistance if she doen't have a job. Being a SAHM does not make you an unfit mother and they will not take the children away from her based on her not having a job.

She may not be able to change all of the accounts to her name only.

She should take half out of each account and put that money into an account with her name only, though.

He is threatening to take the kids in effort to scare her. Trust me, this guy doesn't want the responsibility of the kids (and his new girlfriend doesn't either) Yeah, I would bet big money there is a girlfriend.

Again, the absolute most important advice she should follow is to retain an atty ASAP.

And it may be a good idea to let her OB/gyn know the stress she is under.

Poor thing. That is horrible.

 

[EthansMom]

Second, Third, or Fourth the advice to copy all financial paperwork.

I'd also start a bank account in my own name and get a credit card in my own name. If necessary, I'd purchase some items here and there and return them to the store for cash to get some money to put away in that bank account without the husband knowing. Have the statements sent to a good friend's house.

And, definitely hire a good attorney who is willing to work hard to protect your friend and her children's rights.

FYI: In most states, half of everything the couple owns (unless the husband can prove he owned it before marriage or was inherited) belongs to your friend. She should ask for half of his 401k, half of the house equity, half of all monetary accounts, one of the automobiles, child support, and spousal support.

Also, it is VERY difficult for a father to get sole custody of the children unless the mother gives up her rights to custody or is proven to be unfit. Any threats the man is making are only that... threats... unless your friend is abusing the kids or doing drugs, the most the man can really get is joint custody.

 

[Nancyg56]

I know that everyone has said get an attorney. Can I say it again? She needs an attorney. He is going to think twice because the child support and alimony is going to kill him. And he can say he wants custody until the cows come home, if wishes were horses beggars would ride. Right now she is the primary caregiver, there would need to be one heck of a good reason for a judge to award custody to the father, especially of the newborn. I am not sure if it is true, but my DD said that as long as the Mom is nursing custody stays with her unless there is abuse.

This poor woman needs to document everything. I hope that she gets the support she is going to need, he is one piece of work.

 

[mylilnikita]

Sorry to hear all that is going on with your friend.
First of all: Tell her to go get examined and tested-he might have been dipping his wick into something he shouldn't and her health and her unborn babie's health is the most important thing right now.
Like other posters have said start getting all the info she needs and a lawyer.

 

[ChristmasElf]

If the husband wants the divorce, HE should have to pay all the legal bills including the wife's.
What a jerk your friends husband is. No doubt, she will be better off without him.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I am help a friend. Her hubby told her yesterday that he wants to get a divorce. They have 5 children with another due in 4 weeks. He told her would wait until the baby is born because it looks bad to divorce his 8 months pregnant wife and that he threated to take custody of the kids because she has no money ( she is a SAHM). What is her next step?

She needs to call a divorce attorney TODAY. I have news for her idiot STBX dh...he is almost certainly going to be required to pay her spousal support (at least temporarily) since she has not been bringing in any income. Seems all he is concerned about is appearances (yeah, like it's any fricken better to leave your wife with a newborn than 8 months pregnant, LOSER!) and wants custody for control purposes. What a dumb...well, you know! But seriously...she cannot afford to wait. Luckily, he has warned her of his plans and she now has the upper hand! Tell her she MUST act immediately in order to protect herself and her children legally and financially. TELL HER TO CALL TODAY!! She needs to treat this as an emergency situation and react accordingly. Good luck to her!

 

[DisneyBeagle]

Where's Lorena Bobbitt when you need her? This man seems like a real piece of work to me.

I agree with the others, she needs a GOOD attorney ASAP.

 

[kellyg403]

I will agree with others and say she needs a lawyer and fast. Has he moved out? Usually a divorce lawyer will give you a free one hour consult (at least in NC they do) to give you an idea what is ahead of her. Mine gave me a breakdown of what child support would be and what I would be entitled to re: pensions and alimony. It helped to hear from a lawyer that I wouldn't be destitute, just poorer than I was at the moment.

My exh walked out when the youngest of our 6 was 2, his girlfriend was 25 and she was alot more fun that I was. When they went out they didn't have to get a sitter...and yeah he said that. He didn't pursue a divorce, I did finally. I used his credit card for the lawyers fee and for the private detective. In our agreement he was to pay that card 100% on his own. So, I didn't have to ask for lawyers fees. And, well he was finacially ruined for awhile. He was military and the day the papers were signed by a judge he was required to make an alotment to me for the cs and alimony. I didn't trust him to send me a check.

I am really sorry for your friend and having to face this while being pregnant. Her husband, for even doing this whether he goes through it or not has shown his true self and now she knows. Even if they work it out, I would mention to her that she really should sock away money from time to time and prepare herself for the next time. Also tell her, there are always threats. The kids are the spouses first line of getting you to buckle. The only way she would lose her children as quoted to me by my attny as I sat crying in her office, 1. Drug Addict 2. Endangering the Children 3. Having a mental illness that I was NOT taking medication for knowing I needed to. There have to be real serious and documented issues to remove children from a SAHM mom's care and it has NOTHING to do with financial reasons, he will be sending her a check to help with that. And really, I would agree that there is someone waiting for him, and 6 kids with one being a newborn will not be fun times with the new hottie.

I would also mention as others did, that I was also advised to take 1/2 of our savings account and 1/2 of what ever we had in our checking account after the bills were paid and put it in my own account with no access but myself. I don't know what your states laws are like but something she can think about. Though it is difficult, if he truly is going to walk I would definitely see a lawyer. If the truth be known, I probably would make him walk today and send the 5 kids for their first 3 day visit while I was having the baby. Living together knowing one partner is going to walk or file for divorce is no way to live emotionally for any of them. It will be too draining.

Good Luck to your friend and many hugs to you as you will need to stay strong for her too.

Kelly

 

[tecdavidt]

Her husband sounds like he could be the brother of my ex if my ex wasn't an only child.

First off, sounds like he is having a huge mid-life crash and burn. (Mine did and he burned)

Second: sounds like his buddies are filling his mind full of wrong information. Like get custody because it is cheap. Hang her out to dry.

I was a SAHM. Married 10 years. 2 little ones at time of his walk out. He threatened custody. Thought he could have all assets and leave me with nothing.

In the end: All was split 50 50. HE HAD TO PAY THE ATTORNEY BILLS, BOTH, YES BOTH. CUSTODY, HA, he had visitation rights that he rarely used.

Your friend will end up a better person in the long run. Be there for her. She needs an attorney, a good attorney, one that is a fighting attorney and one that knows your states laws.

I have been divorced from my piece of work for 20 years. I am married to a wonderful man and we have been married for 16 years! There is life after divorce. The fist marriage was for 10. Life goes on and the worse part is what she is living right now.

What a jerk to do this when she is pregnant with his child, no. 6 is it? Yeah, huge jerk. He will find out the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence because it still has to be mowed.

Good Luck,
Kathy *the name tecdavidt--that is my wonderful husband David and the tec, it is our company.