My vent for the day: The child should repeat kindergarten!!

[Ember]

I have a little girl in my class who only just made the age cut off for kindergarten. She only just turned 5 this month while the other students are all turning 6. She doesn't know her letters, their sounds, or her numbers. She has fine motor and minor speech issues and is receiving OT help. The OT also recommends repeating. She is very immature and is not even capable of eating her snack without a baby wipe after to clean her face and hands. (Seriously, how anyone can make that much of a mess with crackers is beyond me! LOL)

Back before Christmas I spoke to mom about having her repeat. Mom was all on board. Now she tell me she thinks that the child is ready for grade one because they "have been working at home with her."

The most frustrating thing is that I know that the reason isn't because mom feels this is best for the child, but because she wants the child at school for the full day rather then the 1/2 day for kindergarten. She came right out and said so reasoning that the child can repeat grade one if she needs "because at least that is full day."

Grr! I hate seeing children forced to struggle when there is no reason for it. One more year to develop and mature and this child would be set up for success rather then failure.

Why do parents even have kids if they don't want to do what's best for them??

 

[golfgal]

You cut off is in February??? I would start there--most schools are at or are moving to 5 at the start of the school year. She wouldn't even be able to START kindergarten here until the fall.

Do you have an after school program this girl could do?

That is sad when parents are so selfish--poor kid. Maybe you could have mom come sit in class for a day or two and seeing her DD up against other kids in the class might help .

 

[Ember]

You cut off is in February???

Yep, crazy isn't it?

 

["Got Disney"]

I started my son way back when at age 4...biggest mistake I ever made! I had all intentions on having him stay back in Kinder but he did so well and the teacher said that he would be fine...so up I moved him.

He did great all the way till 3rd grade. Than it happened. School got harder. He just turned 12 and is in 7th grade. He is smart and gets A's and B's but with a lot of work. One more year of maturity and brain power would have been awesome.

He also wants to play Football in 9th grade....he plays great for Pop Warner and we have a lot of teams asking for him to be on them....but when he gets into HS that is a whole new Ball game...pun intended.....he will be one year younger than almost all of the players...not to mention the other players being one year bigger.

If you can convince her or have the counselor do it or someone....what ever it takes....keep her back. Kinder is no big deal to stay back but once they reach the upper grades it is hard to keep them back due to there piers(sp)

If I could go back and do it all again than he would have repeated Kinder....and his schooling would be easier and less of a everyday regret for me.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Wow, I would hardly call that mom selfish. I can see both sides honestly. It sounds like if the school had an all day kindergarten she would be fine, her main concern is the length of school day. And that is a valid concern. It is hard for many parents to accept that their children have special needs and might need to be held back. On the other hand, I completely understand the teacher's concern as well. This girl simply is not ready. It's a shame you don't have some kind of all day program in your area that would allow her to stay in kindergarten but have the benefits of a full school day instead of just a half.

 

[disney1990]

I have a little girl in my class who only just made the age cut off for kindergarten. She only just turned 5 this month while the other students are all turning 6. She doesn't know her letters, their sounds, or her numbers. She has fine motor and minor speech issues and is receiving OT help. The OT also recommends repeating. She is very immature and is not even capable of eating her snack without a baby wipe after to clean her face and hands. (Seriously, how anyone can make that much of a mess with crackers is beyond me! LOL)

Back before Christmas I spoke to mom about having her repeat. Mom was all on board. Now she tell me she thinks that the child is ready for grade one because they "have been working at home with her."

The most frustrating thing is that I know that the reason isn't because mom feels this is best for the child, but because she wants the child at school for the full day rather then the 1/2 day for kindergarten. She came right out and said so reasoning that the child can repeat grade one if she needs "because at least that is full day."

Grr! I hate seeing children forced to struggle when there is no reason for it. One more year to develop and mature and this child would be set up for success rather then failure.

Why do parents even have kids if they don't want to do what's best for them??

Wow, what state do you live in that still only has 1/2 day kindergarten? The year my DD started kindergarten, she turned 5 in mid-October and I thought that was late. I can't imagine not turning 5 until February. That's just too late.

 

[java]

We still have half day kindergarten in NJ. Your story makes me sad. I have a kindergartener and I would take a teachers suggestion very seriously. Are you not allowed to "fail" them in Kindergarten. Making the decision that she cannot move on?

 

[golfgal]

Wow, what state do you live in that still only has 1/2 day kindergarten? The year my DD started kindergarten, she turned 5 in mid-October and I thought that was late. I can't imagine not turning 5 until February. That's just too late.

Most districts only have 1/2 day kindergarten here too. They have an option to pay for more, but only have 1/2 day free.

 

[momto2girls]

Wow, what state do you live in that still only has 1/2 day kindergarten? The year my DD started kindergarten, she turned 5 in mid-October and I thought that was late. I can't imagine not turning 5 until February. That's just too late.

Ohio has half day kindergarten.

 

[Ember]

We still have half day kindergarten in NJ. Your story makes me sad. I have a kindergartener and I would take a teachers suggestion very seriously. Are you not allowed to "fail" them in Kindergarten. Making the decision that she cannot move on?

I can recommend repeating, the principal can back up my recommendation, but ultimately the parent can force the issue. My only recourse is to put a form in the child's cumulative file that says the child went on to grade one against the teachers judgment.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Wow, that is a tough situation. I wish you luck with this.

 

[famofsix]

Our district used to have a pre-first. Is that an option?


Our district is half day K but they do have two special ed full day K. but it doesn't sound like she has a diagnosed need and immaturity is not a special need.

 

[MM27]

I did my student teaching in a first grade class. There was a student that had just moved to the district that year and like your situation, the child was the youngest in the class. He was lagging way behind the rest of the class. Couldn't recognize letters, sounds, etc. They actually wanted to put him back in K, but the mother refused for the same reason. 1/2 day K, vs. full day 1st. She had no problem with him being left back, but needed the full day "childcare".

 

[famofsix]

maybe a comprise of having OT and Speech after Kindergarten next year could be worked out. She could eat in the lunch room and have OT/Speech after the morning K and then maybe mom could pick her up

 

[ajk912]

Wow, I would hardly call that mom selfish. I can see both sides honestly. It sounds like if the school had an all day kindergarten she would be fine, her main concern is the length of school day. And that is a valid concern. It is hard for many parents to accept that their children have special needs and might need to be held back. On the other hand, I completely understand the teacher's concern as well. This girl simply is not ready. It's a shame you don't have some kind of all day program in your area that would allow her to stay in kindergarten but have the benefits of a full school day instead of just a half.

I don't think it's the county's or the state's job to provide free daycare for the parents. I am all for having kindergarten be a half day program for everyone. I agree, it's an annoyance from the daycare prospective...my daughter is going into K next year and it's certainly better for MY budget to have her be in school till 3:40 instead of 12:40. But for HER benefit, being only 5..a half day program would be better for her. As for the mom, she should hold back her daughter and call around and see..there has to be a local place that caters to the K kids for daycare and offering half day rates. If there isn't someone should get on that, they could make some $$$!

 

[Boston Tea Party]

It is interesting to me that parents seem to have so much power in this situation.

School is not for the parents' convenience.

This little one is not developmentally ready. Is there an objective measure that your district has that can be the "bad guy?" I know that my son must score a minimum of 28 on the DRA to move on to the next grade. (This may mean nothing to you.)

Being a fifth grade teacher I can tell you that the gap only gets bigger. The earlier it is closed, the better.

Best of luck to you.

 

[disney1990]

I didn't realize so many states only had 1/2 day kindergarten. It has been a full day in Maryland for years.

 

[famofsix]

I didn't realize so many states only had 1/2 day kindergarten. It has been a full day in Maryland for years.

almost every other district in my county has full day K but mine doesn't want to fund full day K until the federal government mandates and pays for it

 

[ajk912]

It is interesting to me that parents seem to have so much power in this situation.

School is not for the parents' convenience.

This little one is not developmentally ready. Is there an objective measure that your district has that can be the "bad guy?" I know that my son must score a minimum of 28 on the DRA to move on to the next grade. (This may mean nothing to you.)
Being a fifth grade teacher I can tell you that the gap only gets bigger. The earlier it is closed, the better.

Best of luck to you.

What grade is he in? It sounds like second grade maybe, that they want a 28 on the DRA?

BTW, I know at my kids' school that if the kid is not making the grades, the child's report card goes before the retention committee. The parents may send in a NOTE (yes, a NOTE!) stating their opinion on the matter and the administration will read the note at the hearing. The school administration makes the ultimate decision whether the child will be held back.

 

[mefordis]

Isn't it up to the school if she is ready, not the mom?

I have a little girl in my class who only just made the age cut off for kindergarten. She only just turned 5 this month while the other students are all turning 6. She doesn't know her letters, their sounds, or her numbers. She has fine motor and minor speech issues and is receiving OT help. The OT also recommends repeating. She is very immature and is not even capable of eating her snack without a baby wipe after to clean her face and hands. (Seriously, how anyone can make that much of a mess with crackers is beyond me! LOL)

Back before Christmas I spoke to mom about having her repeat. Mom was all on board. Now she tell me she thinks that the child is ready for grade one because they "have been working at home with her."

The most frustrating thing is that I know that the reason isn't because mom feels this is best for the child, but because she wants the child at school for the full day rather then the 1/2 day for kindergarten. She came right out and said so reasoning that the child can repeat grade one if she needs "because at least that is full day."

Grr! I hate seeing children forced to struggle when there is no reason for it. One more year to develop and mature and this child would be set up for success rather then failure.

Why do parents even have kids if they don't want to do what's best for them??