My sister just called me and is freaking out - **small update**

[Jenvenza]

Don't put anything past the ex or his atty. I am going through this myself, and my ex's atty told him to "steal" my personal planner b/c they needed to know everything there is about the kids, scheduals etc. I filed a bar complaint against the atty and in the atty's response he admitted he told my ex to take it, claiming it is marital property. The bar did not punish him but told him to give it back. It had work related information and notes I had written for my atty, etc. Needless to say, I don't have it still and that was almost 2 months ago. There is so much more going on here, be suspicious of everthing your ex does. I don't even know who my ex is anymore, after 15 years (sorry OT).

Please take care and keep us updated. I too would feel better if she stayed with you.

I am sorry you are going through so much right now. That is just awful what your ex did.

Glad to see you updated and that your sister is okay!

Hm.. now wanting visitation rights seems strange- it looks like things are pointing to him.. could he have been in the house looking for her son? That sounds really scary, but if he's unstable.. you never know.

Regardless, keep us updated. Good thoughts sent your family's way!!

You know, the police asked her if there was anyone who would have wanted to take her son - which of course freaked her out really bad - but her son would not be there by himself, so I don't think that is what her ex was after. It had to be something else...just what?

I wonder if this was before or after the Police may have visited him, or after a visit with a lawyer who told him to ask for visitation rights.





I'm wondering if these were the things he was trying to get into the house to delete?

Especially in light of:



Since he had emailed several times the day before about not being able to afford custody payments, he may have realized, or was told by his lawyer, that was NOT a good thing to do. So he went into the house to delete the record of all his emails from the day before and previously.

That is a possibility. And something I will bring up with my sister.

 

[Maggimus]

Not to be nosey, but whats in her upstairs?

At my house-- if my DH was upstairs and we were divorcing... that would somewhat narrow what he was there for. What rooms are up there/whats kept up there that would be interest to him/anyone?

I wonder if her computer is up there? Anything valuable or useful to him?

 

[HelenePA]

Not to freak her out but could he have planted any small cameras anywhere?

 

[Jenvenza]

Not to be nosey, but whats in her upstairs?

At my house-- if my DH was upstairs and we were divorcing... that would somewhat narrow what he was there for. What rooms are up there/whats kept up there that would be interest to him/anyone?

I wonder if her computer is up there? Anything valuable or useful to him?

That is what is so weird. Nothin that he would have wanted or needed is upstairs. They never even went up there. A spare bedroom, her son's room - which he has NEVER used or slept in, a bathroom and a game room. My sister thinks maybe he was there when she pulled in the garage and either ran upstairs and hid and then decided to make a run for it or ran up there and hid until she left. I dont know. It is all so crazy.

Not to freak her out but could he have planted any small cameras anywhere?

I really dont know. Maybe. Ugh, that is scary.

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

Not to freak her out but could he have planted any small cameras anywhere?

I was thinking the same thing.

Also, a friend of mine used to have this thing that she could plug into the phone jack then it recorded all the phone calls in the house that were made. Yeah, she was crazy!

I'd be checking phone outlets......

 

[Ilivetogo]

Another thought ... make sure her child's day care/school is well aware that he is not to pick up the child!!

 

[Nie0214]

It's rather common for police officers to give out a cell phone number. I work in legal and see it all the time.

 

[mlynn]

She should print a copy of all emails and text give a copy to the lawyer and then get a saftey dep. box and put a copy in there too.
You can never be to carefull. If she doesn't have a alarm on her house. A cheap method would be to get baby door alarms. That go off when the door is open.

 

[Kim in TN]

How scary for your Sister and You. Hope you get an answer soon.

 

[Chicago526]

Thanks for the update, I hope everything works out okay!

 

[Piglets Mommy]

Oh wait he cant call.. he dropped his phone

OP, thanks for the updates! I hope there really is a simple explanation for the phone! Keep us posted on that front!!

 

[Kimmumum]

I hope your sister finds some peace of mind. Thanks for the updates.

 

[mommyof3princess]

I am glad to hear the update and will continue to read along.

Is she by chance in a nw realinship with anyone or dating. I ask becuase my cousins son's dad didn't come around until she started dating. But he was 3 when this happened he haden't seen him since he was first born. But all of a sudden when she was starting to get serious he wanted to see his son. Maybe the ex feels like someone is replacing him so he all of a sudden decides he wants to see him. I don't know this creaps me out.

 

[SCHBR'smom]

Thanks for the updates. I hope they get this figured out soon. The not knowing can really drive you crazy.

 

[GraysMom]

I'm so sorry you DS and the rest of the family are going through this mess. Her STBXDH sounds like he's a deperate nutjob. I just keep thinking about the parents (mostly fathers) who you read about in the news, that murder their children so they don't have to pay child support (no child=no child support). Not to mention, it would surely be the most painful way to hurt your sister, as well as make her fearful that she is next on his hit list. It's an awful train of thought, but if he's become unstable, which is what it seems like you've seen, then who knows what he is capable of. Please, beg your DS to stay with someone else until the police get this sorted out. If not for her sake, then for the sake of her defenseless 15mo.

 

[aprilgail2]

Not to freak her out but could he have planted any small cameras anywhere?

When my friend was divorcing her husband came over while she was at work and set up a baby monitor behind the fridge- his parents lived right across the street and they would listen to everything going on in the house until she came across it one day but she had no clue how long it was in there.

 

[torinsmom]

This one is easy. The more time he has with his son the less he pays in support.

Unless they have shared custody, that won't come into play. Having visitation with your child does not affect child support, at least not in my state. It is more likely that he is wanting to get to mom, by making her worry about the child when he has him. Or he plans to ask for shared custody and his lawyer told him to start by spending time with his son. Either way, I wouldn't let him go without a court order, especially at his age.

Marsha

 

[chattyann]

Unless they have shared custody, that won't come into play. Having visitation with your child does not affect child support, at least not in my state. It is more likely that he is wanting to get to mom, by making her worry about the child when he has him. Or he plans to ask for shared custody and his lawyer told him to start by spending time with his son. Either way, I wouldn't let him go without a court order, especially at his age.

Marsha

In my state if the non custodial parent has visitation the more time he has the child there is a break on the child support. It is like a 10% break. I know because my husband got this for my stepson.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Ugh, page 1-15 as a new reader...and no update for today!!!

Okay guys - I am officially freaked out now. Her neighbor came - with a baseball bat...ha....and there was a phone at the top of her stairs. That she has never seen before. It has two bars on it. My sister went upstairs last night and that phone was not there - she swears it wasnt. Her neighbor went to go buy new locks and is changing them for her. Something is going on.

Crazy scary

Is it possible her DS picked it up somewhere? Honestly all the toddlers I know are "bad" with cell phones. As in they always want them and grab for them. One just snuck my cell phone out of my purse this morning and I wouldn't have known if I hadn't gotten a text.

I do hope it is something as simple as that though. I'd be checking out the cell phone as well to see if I could figure out who it belonged to.

She called the police. They are on their way over. The phone has no info on it. No voicemail, no texts, no phone book. The police said they will find out who is belongs to and they also are bringing paperwork to fill out for a restraining order for the soon-to-be ex. This isnt a nice divorce. There is money involved and people do weird things for money.

The police just got there. She said she would call me back.

And her son couldnt go upstairs - even if he did grab a phone. There is a gate at the bottom of the stairs and he isnt even walking yet. No way it could be him.

STill, crazy scary

She just called me back and we just talked about this. She told me she didnt think anything about it at the time, but when she got home today, she said the dogs ran to her and then ran to the front door and looked back at her. I think someone ran out when pulled in the garage.

I don't freak out much and have read tons of threads on the dis that said call the police and just rolled my eyes. This would have me peeing my pants. I am so glad she got normal police officers and not lazy ones and that they are taking this as a serious matter. She does need to have someone either stay with her or go stay somewhere with someone. But if he is at all nuts enough to do this I hate to say it but bad things could happen to her and anyone with her. I hate to bring that up but there was just a shooting of 4 people in AL this morning one of them was the soon to be ex wife. She needs an alarm system wherever she stays and to not open the garage until the car is started and it is locked. I hope her soon to be ex doesnt have a gun collection. I hate to be even more dramatic and freak you out even more but this is just awful. If it is him I hope they catch him and lock him up.

Well, I am off for the night, but I will be back tomorrow with any updates!

Thanks so much for all your kind words!

This is the first thread I've read page by page in a long time.. I hope she is okay!!

Me too!! Did I say crazy scary!?!

I'm subscribing for an update...please let us know if/when she finds out anything!

 

[ameraumi]

Another thought ... make sure her child's day care/school is well aware that he is not to pick up the child!!

It may not be that easy. Her sister may need a court document to say he is not to pick up the child. I know if one of the parents showed up to my daycare to pick up their child I could not refuse them access to the child. Even if they were intoxicated I have to allow them to leave with the child. I can immediately call 911 but I have to let them leave. I would recommend the sister talk to the daycare, let them know the situation, put a plan in place if he shows up, and work on getting a court document banning him from picking up the child!