My "***?!" moment for today

[LindsayDunn228]

I just got off the phone with my MIL. She was telling me my husband's aunt died a day or so ago and the funeral arrangements. FIL had called last night to tell us this. But anyway, my husband was not close to this aunt at all.

Anyway, MIL goes on to say, "She was um, well, I guess I can't say it any other way. She was mentally ********?" I thought, "Hmm, I didn't know Scott had an aunt that was developmentally disabled. Oh well, whatever." She goes on to say "Yes, she was ********. She really kept to herself, never left the house, and didn't want other people around her." I was really So I called my husband and asked him if his aunt that passed away had anything wrong with her (being intentionally vague). He said, "Yeah, she was scared to leave the house. She didn't like strangers and even other people around her." I said, "So she was agorophobic??" He said, "Yeah that's it!!!"

So the lesson for today was, if you suffer from agoraphobia, you are classified as mentally ********.

 

[Christine]

I just got off the phone with my MIL. She was telling me my husband's aunt died a day or so ago and the funeral arrangements. FIL had called last night to tell us this. But anyway, my husband was not close to this aunt at all.

Anyway, MIL goes on to say, "She was um, well, I guess I can't say it any other way. She was mentally ********?" I thought, "Hmm, I didn't know Scott had an aunt that was developmentally disabled. Oh well, whatever." She goes on to say "Yes, she was ********. She really kept to herself, never left the house, and didn't want other people around her." I was really So I called my husband and asked him if his aunt that passed away had anything wrong with her (being intentionally vague). He said, "Yeah, she was scared to leave the house. She didn't like strangers and even other people around her." I said, "So she was agorophobic??" He said, "Yeah that's it!!!"

So the lesson for today was, if you suffer from agoraphobia, you are classified as mentally ********.

Wonderful! I am a "mild" agoraphobic so I guess I'm just mildly ********. I wonder if I can get special assistance?

 

[ItsonlyExperiment626]

Maybe she doesn't know the term agoraphobia. I'm sure MIL is quite old too, so she was using the old school term of mentally ********.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

MIL is 58 years old.

 

[kpm76]

Maybe she doesn't know the term agoraphobia. I'm sure MIL is quite old too, so she was using the old school term of mentally ********.

Even my very old aunts know that using the term mentally ******** is not acceptable anymore. Her MIL could have just described the aunt's condition, saying she didn't like leaving the house etc. and the OP probably would have figured out what was going on. Instead she labeled the disorder, incorrectly. Also, if I am not mistaken the OP is in her 20's so her MIL is not necessary old. Mine is only in her late 40's.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I guess I could have clarified. When she said, "I don't know how to say it any other way," she said it in the tone of "I don't know the PC way of saying she's developmentally delayed," not she didn't know the term agoraphobia.

 

[hentob]

Even my very old aunts know that using the term mentally ******** is not acceptable anymore.

I didn't know this. I always thought MR in an IEP stood for "Mentally ********".

I hate the word "retard". It even hurts to type it. But, I always thought Mentally ******** was still a term used by evaluators?


Am I behind the times?

 

[WDWAurora]

I didn't know this. I always thought MR in an IEP stood for "Mentally ********".

I hate the word "retard". It even hurts to type it. But, I always thought Mentally ******** was still a term used by evaluators?


Am I behind the times?

In some states, you are absolutely correct. Developmentally disabled is only used here for children under age 9, so that shows a difference between states there, because that certainly would not be correct for the aunt in question. EMD is the frequent term here-Educably Mentally Disabled. It has changed from EMR in NC at least. That does not mean it is not still used frequently, however.

 

[mickeymousemom]

Wow, then Paula Deen from the Food Network is also "mentally ********" as she went thru a stage of agoraphobia several years ago

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Wow, then Paula Deen from the Food Network is also "mentally ********" as she went thru a stage of agoraphobia several years ago

I know, nuts isn't it??

I am a para from a spinal cord injury. I hope and pray she's not telling people I have CP or MS. (I know I know, huge exaggeration, but I am still thinking about the whole agoraphobia= mental retardation)

 

[MzDiz]

I know, nuts isn't it??

I am a para from a spinal cord injury. I hope and pray she's not telling people I have CP or MS. (I know I know, huge exaggeration, but I am still thinking about the whole agoraphobia= mental retardation)

Well, if agoraphobia = mental retardation, then paralyzation = well... she probably just tells people you're dead.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Well, if agoraphobia = mental retardation, then paralyzation = well... she probably just tells people you're dead.

I needed that!!

 

[MouseWorshipin]

To me, it isn't the words someone uses, it is their intention.

If they intend to insult, that's something I might be perturbed about. If they mean no harm, I don't get worked up over diction.

 

[SunFloridaDisney]

Well, if agoraphobia = mental retardation, then paralyzation = well... she probably just tells people you're dead.

That was a good one!

Seriously, I do think some people just are really behind the times as far as correct terminology. But as a previous poster stated, if they have good intentions, I can sometimes overlook their seeming ingnorance.
It does make you pause and wonder, though.

 

[scraptoons]

I wonder if we can all qualify for a handicapp parking sticker?

 

[Jynohn]

I didn't know this. I always thought MR in an IEP stood for "Mentally ********".

I hate the word "retard". It even hurts to type it. But, I always thought Mentally ******** was still a term used by evaluators?


Am I behind the times?

I didn't know this either. I worked in a group home for several years and the term we always used was mentally ********. In fact, our agency was overseen by DMR (The Department of Mental Retardation), which was a state board. This was only a few years ago. I hate to think that I'm being insensitive using the term MR. I honestly didn't know it was not acceptable anymore!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Folks, I really appreciate all of your input. But the fact of the matter is my issue was not that she used the phrase "mentally ********" instead of "developmentally delayed." It was the fact she was telling me about my husband's agoraphobic aunt being mentally ********, which she wasn't.

 

[Jynohn]

Folks, I really appreciate all of your input. But the fact of the matter is my issue was not that she used the phrase "mentally ********" instead of "developmentally delayed." It was the fact she was telling me about my husband's agoraphobic aunt being mentally ********, which she wasn't.

Oops. I got that part. I was just responding to someone earlier who said that "mentally ********" was an unacceptable word. I was just concerned I was using the wrong term. Sorry to hijack your thread! And yes, very strange that your MIL would use that description for an agoraphobic aunt. I guess I'm mentally ******** too, I have an irrational frog phobia!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Jynoh, I wasn't singling you out. Just making a general comment

 

[hentob]

I hate to think that I'm being insensitive using the term MR. I honestly didn't know it was not acceptable anymore!

Me too!

Hey, you learn something everyday. That is why I enjoy The DIS