My In-laws are worse than your In-laws!

[Cee]

There is no way I can read all of these stories without my head exploding.

All I can say is, I'm so, so sorry that you all had to go through this stress and hurt.

Family relationships are some of the hardest to endure.

Best wishes to everyone.

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

One of my favorite MIL doozies (there are thousands!) When my son was six, he didn't want to tie his shoes, ever. He could, but he did not want to, and so since we believe in pick your battles, we generally didn't fight him on it. I mean, he's not going to not get into college because he was lazy about shoe tying in 1st grade, right? He's a super smart kid, was reading chapter books before first grade, etc. His cousin of the same age was struggling with reading. MIL favors cousin. One day they were here and we had him show her what he was reading. She barely glanced at the book and looked at me and said "he may be reading well, but can he tie his shoes?" The ONE thing cousin can do.

Who needs enemies when you have that for a Grandma?

 

[Jennasis]

Ooh, it's time for another holiday. Must be more In-Law angst to share around here?

Today we are doing Easter dinner, in case it turns out to be a disaster, in which case DH and I will have tomorrow to ourselves for a do-over. I haven't seen MIL in a year. It was last Easter that she went completely off her nut and I walked out on her (see post #1 on the thread). Anyhoo, so we are having dinner out tonight with me and DH, MIL, DH's brother, his uncle and his grandfather.

Should be fun fun fun! I'll report back tonight. I tend to think it will just be a mostly awkward, silent dinner, which would be a delightful improvement.

 

[worm761]

None here. Future MIL is currently not speaking to us because it is disloyal for Fiance to marry me. Oh, and we went to my sister's wedding (8 hours from us) and did not visit her (23 hours from us). The fact that we HAD to be there because my daughter was the flower girl completely escaped her. That is the only phone call we have gotten from her since Christmas. I have been expecting something because, well, it is Easter. Can't let that go by without a little drama.

I have decided to take the advice of longer married women than me and just stay out of it. I figure she is doing a pretty good job of hanging herself so why help. Fiance is so fed up with the BS that he doesn't call any more because all it gets is a lecture about how it is awful that we are getting married.

 

[diznygirl]

None here. Future MIL is currently not speaking to us because it is disloyal for Fiance to marry me. Oh, and we went to my sister's wedding (8 hours from us) and did not visit her (23 hours from us). The fact that we HAD to be there because my daughter was the flower girl completely escaped her. That is the only phone call we have gotten from her since Christmas. I have been expecting something because, well, it is Easter. Can't let that go by without a little drama.

I have decided to take the advice of longer married women than me and just stay out of it. I figure she is doing a pretty good job of hanging herself so why help. Fiance is so fed up with the BS that he doesn't call any more because all it gets is a lecture about how it is awful that we are getting married.

Been there, done that. Married 19 years.

Let me tell you - after 14 years or so I finally grew on MIL. You see, we moved away and she spent more time with her son-in-law and realized what a prize I was. It was a weird situation - hearing what a great catch I was. But those first years were hard. Hang in there - you have a good attitude about it.

 

[Nancy F]

Listening to all your stories I realize how Blessed I was in the woman that was my MIL. Not that we didn't argue... but she was a true friend to me. I miss her every day.
Nancy

 

[TinkPirateMom]

Ooh, it's time for another holiday. Must be more In-Law angst to share around here?

Today we are doing Easter dinner, in case it turns out to be a disaster, in which case DH and I will have tomorrow to ourselves for a do-over. I haven't seen MIL in a year. It was last Easter that she went completely off her nut and I walked out on her (see post #1 on the thread). Anyhoo, so we are having dinner out tonight with me and DH, MIL, DH's brother, his uncle and his grandfather.

Should be fun fun fun! I'll report back tonight. I tend to think it will just be a mostly awkward, silent dinner, which would be a delightful improvement.

Good luck tonight!

My latest MIL issue is that she was babysitting my DS3 for a couple hours one day. I got home from work and he was exhausted at that point. He wanted her to leave and was not behaving very well. He actually kicked her in the shin which is unacceptable behavior. I was directing him to time out when to my surprise SHE KICKED HIM BACK! This grown adult kicked my 3 year old son in the leg and said, "I kick back" and left. I am not excusing my son's behavior but I was horrified that my MIL did this. Not only was it mean but she just taught him that if a friend at pre-school kicks him that he should kick back. Now he tells anyone that will listen that MeMom is mean and kicked him. This is after we hadn't seen her for a while because she said my son (the only son of her only son) was a "rotten little boy".

 

[hereyago]

OP: good luck today! hope you are doing it at a neutral location.


I was texting a friend about how I truly dread holidays, any holiday, because where my exdh left off, my mom ruins.

She has been in a rehab since end of January after falling from a infection-which she was in hospital with for 9 days.

Before she got sick: she is a true narcissist and drama fills her world and she would yell to put her in a rehab, or better yet the hospital that my dad died in so she wanted me to say "oh no don't say that", but her antics are nothing new and she loves to cry wolf for attention.


Well one night she fell, ambulance came and got her, white cell count was low,etc She ends up going to the hospital my dad passed away in-not only that ,but got the same room he was last in-then she ended up going to rehab.
She didn't remember which room he was in, she didn't go see him much, because no one would give her the attention he was getting.

I told her as the medical transport was coming to take her to rehab that God was giving her a sign to shut her trap, because all that crying wolf and she ended up with all that she was crying wolf about,lol. I told her that she was in fact in my dad's room(not a very big hospital). of course now she complains about being there,lol be careful what you wish for.


This rehab is one that she hasn't been to before, I was going every day after work because of it, but it got too much, so I go every other day and stay for about an hour.

She just recently got a roommate to share her room, poor woman,lol. Mom is still full of nasty -attention getting, honestly I should get a shirt made that says NO, don't blame everything on old age, sometimes old and witchy used to be young and witchy.

I am going to see her at lunch tomorrow, give her a Easter cupcake and that is the extent. If she acts up i simply walk out and leave, I dont care about being the "bad daughter" anymore and the staff now knows how she can be.

You have no idea how I wish things were different, that she was different so we could enjoy whatever time she has left together. I honestly don't know why people say" you should just suck it up, they won't be here forever", when in fact they should say it to the people who are the ones acting up, but they don't care, they dont see the big picture. it is truly sad.

 

[EllaM]

My BIL and SIL are at the table with us. About 1/2 way through, BIL comes over behind DD and gets down on his hands and knees. He's looking at her wheelchair but doesn't say anything to me. He goes upstairs and comes down a few minutes later with a rug. He tells me that DD's wheelchair scratches their wood floor and if we have her chair in the living room or dining room, there has to be a rug under it. He said that last time we were there, they noticed all kinds of scratches in the floor from her chair.

My SIL never made her home very welcoming either to me. A special piece of carpet came out as soon I purchased a portable ramp to get into her sunken living room to play with the kids. She had replaced all the carpet with hard wood. Didn't help she also swapped the sofa and love seat for one of those sectional sofas that take up the entire room. It meant I had to go with a much shorter ramp with a steeper incline and drive my foot into the back of her sectional. When my brother wanted to swap the toilet in the downstairs guest bathroom for a higher seat ADA one, for the comfort of her parents, his and me, she refused because "it made her legs numb". I was going to pay for the toilet too. The old one had broken.

I could tell you horror stories about this woman. When her disabled father needed care she begged for him to come live with them. At the time she was working PT and the kids were in school. But as soon as her father needed help bathing and feeding, she decided it was too much. So my brother was the one who came home from work to feed him or help him use the bathroom. And when she caught him cooking for him one night she got mad because her father could darn well wait for the rest of the family to eat. When we arranged a family trip with an accessible room for him, she showed up with the kids but her father stayed home with my brother, who got drafted to work. When he got sick and was hospitalized, she wanted him to go to a nursing home because it was too much for her to have him around. My brother, like all our family, have a rule that we never give up on our elderly. We take turns taking care of them at home so they never end up dying in some impersonal institution. It went against my brother's morality to go along with that decision and he cried to us about it. But she had a way of making anyone miserable who disagrees with her, especially my brother. Before the final decision could be made, her father died suddenly in the hospital.

It made me sick every time my brother said he expected she would always be there for him and take care of him when he was old and sick. I know that isn't true. Even our father has told me the last thing he ever wants is to be left in their care. He knows he'd end up in a nursing home.

She projects herself as being one of the most caring, compassionate people on this earth, but she tends to please herself before anyone else first. She once told me that if she hurts someone's feelings that's their problem.

Time has proven me right. I discovered this year she's doing her best to destroy her family. She decided after 16 years of marriage she didn't have a life of her own so moved out leaving her 4 kids and husband to fend for themselves. The woman married at 29 after living on her own a decade and dating throughout. She married to have kids and involved herself in all the normal supermom clubs. Then when the kids went back to school she went back to work. The last few years she's been getting her grad degree and started a new career. All with the support of her husband and kids, emotionally and financially. She's taken vacations on her own. She has her own bank account and income. Most of the family finances come out my brother's paycheck. She hangs out with her friends whenever she wants. Every decision in the family has been according to her design. They all have learned to bend to her will just to keep her happy. I've seen her shirk her parental duties and push them off on her eldest daughter while singling out her youngest for special treatment. And if the kids misbehave or do something she doesn't like, she yells and screams like a shrew.

I was caught in traffic once bringing her daughter back from a sleepover with her grandparents. She accused me of kidnapping the child. When her son wanted to walk across the street with me to get a smoothie, which my brother ok'd, she got mad at him. She told everyone at the beach that I wasn't a suitable guardian because being in a wheelchair if someone tried to kidnap him I couldn't prevent it. Yet she then let her kids run free throughout the complex later in the week going into strangers' apartments.

I had so much of her one year I vowed to never let her boss me around again. I was crying every time I walked away from an encounter with her. The last straw came when she researched every post I made on a forum and put together snippets in an expose of how mean and delusional I was. She took one legitimate complaint then surrounded it with snippets of adlibs and jokes to make me look absolutely horrible. Then she e-mailed that to everyone in the family just to assassinate my character. Her reason: I was keeping her husband from spending time with our father. At the time our father was recovering from an illness and rather than coming out to visit or even calling him, my brother was home trying to cater to all her whims. I was the one left to take care of our dad, even with my disability. This went on a month with no contact from my brother until SILs explosive e-mail. Result of that drama was me being made to apologize just to keep family peace. Even though I knew most of what she sent was lies and mis-interpretation. All my online friends saw it as a hatchet job and my brother confided it came because his wife was jealous of me.

So now she's stepped out of the picture to go find herself. She doesn't want anyone to accuse her of abandoning her kids, yet it is my brother who's left to figure out the household, the pets, the kids' activities and pay all the bills. And my brother still thinks this woman is coming back and will be there for him.

Our family is walking on eggshells trying to figure out how best to catch them from falling. So far we've had to bail out their family van because she didn't pay the bill for 3 months yet had no problem getting him to co-sign a new car for herself. Their kids have each cried to us about the stress they're under. And my brother is in serious jeopardy of falling into a great depression. We're waiting for him to get well and truly angry at her. Their friends and neighbors think she's lost her mind and keep telling us she is never coming back the way my brother thinks.

I wish I could say something good about her. This post has been filled with a lot more invective than I've ever said about her. The last straw for me is having her teen daughter crying in my arms because of all the crap her mother is putting her through. Telling your daughter that you are leaving your family because you've had no life since she was born is just so selfish and cruel.

 

[Backstage_Gal]

8-my husband let her do our taxes (i didnt know) she messed them up and we owe G's and G's now

You can file an amended tax return, you are not bound to a wrong one.

 

[diznymom]

We went to DMIL's today for Easter. DH was told last week that we were to bring a dish. He immediately told them we were bringing ham. (I basically get ignored by the inlaws, unless they specifically want something from me.)

I figured everyone else would fix sides to go w/ the ham. (Boy, was I wrong). We get there tonight, and everyone brought some sort of meat dish; no veggies.

So anyway, after the meal, we were all outside and DMIL makes the comment that she sure was glad that **** (DH) brought the ham. DH and I were both standing right in front of her. I couldn't resist. I told DH: Yeah, ****, I sure am glad you baked that ham......right in front of DMIL.

Like I said earlier, I get ignored. I get no credit for doing anything.

Can't wait for Mother's Day.

 

[Jennasis]

Dinner was delightfully uneventful as I had hoped. We all went out to a nice restaurant. She was mostly silent for the meal but not sulky, which was great. The rest of us kept up the banter (especially about the restaurant manager who looked exactly like Ricky Gervais!). Right now DH is making a special Easter breakfast (eggs, thick cut bacon, toast, hash browns...mmmmmm) and then tonight we are having steaks, just the two of us.

Happy Easter everyone!

 

[libraryfreak]

One of my favorite MIL doozies (there are thousands!) When my son was six, he didn't want to tie his shoes, ever. He could, but he did not want to

Although you said he didn't want to tie his shoes, I just wanted to let you know I'm 50 and CAN'T tie my shoes - at least not like normal people do. I make a bow on one lace, then a bow on the other lace, then I cross them over and loop them through. It's just one of those things I just have a mental block on.

BTW, I think your MIL was downright mean to your son. Whats wrong with people? I too believe in picking your battles, and so what if he doesn't want to tie his shoes. Bet she didn't say to cousin, "you may be able to tie your shoes, but can you read chapter books?" So sorry you have to deal with this.

 

[Erin1700]

Today is my birthday. I am thrilled it fell on Easter. Not just because I love easter, but then I only have to see MIL once. We are going out to a fancy lunch so I am sure I will have some stories.

 

[2girls4me]

Eh, mil is not the worst. But she just gets under my skin.

For example, yesterday we went there for dinner. My 2 bil's and their gf's were there. My one bil,has been with his gf over 7 years. Not engaged yet. The gf treats my mil like she is her mom. Hugs and kisses, etc. it's kind of annoying. I feel like saying, once you get married, and have a few babies it will change, trust me.

But I just roll my eyes and move on. I do t care for the gf so I see her as infrequently as possible.plus, this sounds awful but I don't care, I have her grandchildren so no matter what, I have that over the gf.

 

[2girls4me]

Eh, mil is not the worst. But she just gets under my skin.

For example, yesterday we went there for dinner. My 2 bil's and their gf's were there. My one bil,has been with his gf over 7 years. Not engaged yet. The gf treats my mil like she is her mom. Hugs and kisses, etc. it's kind of annoying. I feel like saying, once you get married, and have a few babies it will change, trust me.

But I just roll my eyes and move on. I do t care for the gf so I see her as infrequently as possible.plus, this sounds awful but I don't care, I have her grandchildren so no matter what, I have that over the gf.

 

[hereyago]

Dinner was delightfully uneventful as I had hoped. We all went out to a nice restaurant. She was mostly silent for the meal but not sulky, which was great. The rest of us kept up the banter (especially about the restaurant manager who looked exactly like Ricky Gervais!). Right now DH is making a special Easter breakfast (eggs, thick cut bacon, toast, hash browns...mmmmmm) and then tonight we are having steaks, just the two of us.

Happy Easter everyone!

So glad your dinner was uneventful, perhaps MIL has learned that when she behaves people can handle being around her.

Happy Easter!

 

[hereyago]

Today is my birthday. I am thrilled it fell on Easter. Not just because I love easter, but then I only have to see MIL once. We are going out to a fancy lunch so I am sure I will have some stories.

Happy Birthday and Happy Easter!

 

[RachaelA]

Although you said he didn't want to tie his shoes, I just wanted to let you know I'm 50 and CAN'T tie my shoes - at least not like normal people do. I make a bow on one lace, then a bow on the other lace, then I cross them over and loop them through. It's just one of those things I just have a mental block on.

BTW, I think your MIL was downright mean to your son. Whats wrong with people? I too believe in picking your battles, and so what if he doesn't want to tie his shoes. Bet she didn't say to cousin, "you may be able to tie your shoes, but can you read chapter books?" So sorry you have to deal with this.

I can't tie it the normal way either. I use bunny ears to do it

 

[superme80]

Although you said he didn't want to tie his shoes, I just wanted to let you know I'm 50 and CAN'T tie my shoes - at least not like normal people do. I make a bow on one lace, then a bow on the other lace, then I cross them over and loop them through. It's just one of those things I just have a mental block on.

BTW, I think your MIL was downright mean to your son. Whats wrong with people? I too believe in picking your battles, and so what if he doesn't want to tie his shoes. Bet she didn't say to cousin, "you may be able to tie your shoes, but can you read chapter books?" So sorry you have to deal with this.

I didn't learn to tie my shoe "properly" until i was 16. My parents are right handed and I am left. They just couldn't teach me. I finally locked myself in my grandparent's guest room and taguht myself how to do it. I want to say it took about an hour or so.