My friend is going to ruin my trip!!!!!! UPDATED #84!!

[fireflymedic]

I think I see why your husband does not like her, she sounds bossey for sure.

You have gotten a lot of good advice which mostly I cant add too but most of thim say talk to her, which makes me think using the phone which gives her a chance to break in and not give you a chance to finish your thought.

I think maybe wright her a letter. Blame it all on your husband (to help keep the friendship) A letter will give her no input she will not be thinking what she should say and not hear what you have said she can re-read it so less confustion.

Perhapas you should consider having dinner on your last day with her you can leave the kids and husband on there own for a couple of hours.

good luck and have fun

 

[livvylivvie]

*sigh* ... I really don`t envy you. You are in a rough position. I would deffinately be talking to dh ahead of time, and prepare him. And remind him, that only "HE" can ruin his own vacation. " Seeing" this person (stalkerella), should not "Ruin" his vacation. You don't want to walk around all day with someone brooding. NOT FUN! lol Because It does sound like there is a very High liklyhood of stalkerella "finding" you. But if you stick to your guns, and are very frank with "Stalkerella" about your family sticking together on your family vacation, You should be fine. And at least your DH will see that you truly did try. And if need be, maybe DH can step in and say something, like.. "common hunny... the kids and I are waiting.. Family time now...". lol My hubby has no problem hurrying me up!

Sending pixie dust. Sounds like you need it.

Lol - Just had another thought.. Call up Stalkerella, and just tell her. "Hey Listen, DH DOES NOT WANT TO SEE YOU. Sorry, about that. But I want to have fun on My Family Vacation, and IF DH is upset, Then no one will have fun. He wants It to be JUST "us"! If it were just me, then you know for sure we would meet up. But... You can see how the situation is. I know you will understand, cause we have been friends for so many years." this is a "way out" for you. You get to keep your "friend", and you get your Family VaCa!

 

[Aliceacc]

To be honest, I don't think it's fair to blame her husband.

His expectations are normal-- that a family vacation will be about time he FINALLY gets to spend with his family, particularly after all that overtime.

He's NOT WRONG-- the "Friend" is. So I don't think it's fair to place the blame on him.

Nope. Tell her that this is a family vacation. Case closed.

 

[Alice's Mommy]

OP here!

Let me start by thanking all of you for your advice and concerns.

DH and I have talked extensively. We've decided to keep our reservation as is. The value resort we are staying in is actually cheaper than the others solely based on taxes. My friend is bossy. She has control issues. She can get mean. But I've known her literally since the day her mom gave birth to her and she's never been violent. Changing the reservation would be only to avoid her, but I can use the staff at the hotel to accomplish the same thing should she randomly show up at my hotel.

DH and I have agreed that if she does happen to show up where we may be that he won't get angry with me. We do have a plan in place for how to deal with her should she show up. Frankly I think that she won't show. In the days since that original call she's called a few times. We've had two short conversations about non-trip related subjects but during one conversation she touched lightly on the subject of Disney and said "you guys will have a good time." Her way of letting me know that she was sorry? Perhaps.

Anyway thank you for your help and thoughts! I plan on having a wonderful time regardless of her being there or not!

 

[duffy]

Sounds good!

Please let us know how it all turns out.

 

[hotblooded]

Woo, glad to hear it all worked out!

 

[Rox.jea]

I need some help with dealing with a friend who insists on visiting me and my family during our trip to Disney.

A brief history: She lives in FL. My DH does not care for her. I love her but I have never enjoyed being around her children. As they get older I like them even less. (Long story short: they're lazy, mouthy, sneaky and whiny...and they're both teens!) This is our very first trip to WDW and our very first family vacation as well. She goes to WDW every 6 weeks for a day trip and stays at the park for a week every year with her husband and friends (no kids). She plans on coming out for at least three of the 5 days we'll be in the parks.

My DH and I had a conversation about the upcoming trip two nights ago. He was very resistant to going to WDW and I literally worked YEARS to get him to agree to go. He's put in a ton of OT at his job to help pay for this trip. He was not happy when he found out that my friend was planning on coming to visit and he told me that if she shows up on our trip he's going to be upset. In the recent past I've tried telling her how excited we were about it being just the four of us but she hasn't understood that to mean she shouldn't come. So yesterday I had to tell her in no uncertain terms.

I told her that DH and I would prefer she not join us on our trip, that we were really looking forward to the trip being just the four of us, and that we would plan for a visit the next time. (DH and I have already decided that we'll go back.) She said "Disney is a public place and you can't control where I show up. My kids were looking forward to hanging out with your kids so that's what they'll do."

I told her that Disney was a public place and she was right, I can't keep her from showing up. I also said that my children are 6 years younger than her youngest child so really that argument doesn't wash. I asked her to respect my feelings and keep her distance from our vacation. She just said NO and then made an excuse to hang up.

So what do I do now? She knows where we're staying. She knows a basic guideline of our plans. I can alternate some of my park plans but I have reservations at certain parks...and she knows about them. If she shows up DH will be unbelievably upset with ME and he may not want to go on vacation again. (Seriously...I worked for YEARS!)

Any ideas on what to say to this friend to get her to understand and respect my feelings?

Ummm STOCKER! Change Resorts. It's easy, just pick one @ the same PRICE level. & DO NOT CALL HER @ ALL!!!!!!! EVER FOR ANY REASON. It would be a huge mistake to drag it out. She sounds like an idiot.

 

[tlbwriter]

We've had two short conversations about non-trip related subjects but during one conversation she touched lightly on the subject of Disney and said "you guys will have a good time." Her way of letting me know that she was sorry? Perhaps.

That's promising. She sounds considerably less crazy.

 

[DisneyTravelers2008]

I would just change my daily plans around. Disney is such a huge place, she could never find you if you don't want her to.

Agree! I would also let them know when you check in that you dont want it confirmed if someone asks if you are there...in case she calls around to find you...

Better yet...tell her your changed the dates of your trip

 

[OceanAnnie]

That's promising. She sounds considerably less crazy.

She does. Even after the crazy talk, I feel kind of sorry for her. OP, you and your DH have a good plan. Don't go soft. Stick to it.

It can be a short distance from sorry to bossy again.

Thanks for the update!

 

[jdb in AZ]

You're probably not even going to run into them, so try not to worry about it.

During our last trip we knew of 3 other families from the area, including DH's cousin and never ran into anybody we knew.

DH and I were in Southern Calif and ran into my mother and sister, tho we were coming from different states and had no idea the others would be there.

It's a Small World. after all. That said, I hope you -- OP -- will keep us posted on what you decided to do and how everything works out. You have all of us concerned (oh no! cyberstalkers!) who are hoping the best for you, but won't invite ourselves to barge in on your plans.

ETA I'm glad you and your DH have talked it through -- that's the most important thing. And that your friend seems to be backing off. We hope!

 

[magicwishes]

I hope you have a wonderful trip and that this becomes a non-issue!

 

[cheshireqt]

OP here!

Let me start by thanking all of you for your advice and concerns.

DH and I have talked extensively. We've decided to keep our reservation as is. The value resort we are staying in is actually cheaper than the others solely based on taxes. My friend is bossy. She has control issues. She can get mean. But I've known her literally since the day her mom gave birth to her and she's never been violent. Changing the reservation would be only to avoid her, but I can use the staff at the hotel to accomplish the same thing should she randomly show up at my hotel.

DH and I have agreed that if she does happen to show up where we may be that he won't get angry with me. We do have a plan in place for how to deal with her should she show up. Frankly I think that she won't show. In the days since that original call she's called a few times. We've had two short conversations about non-trip related subjects but during one conversation she touched lightly on the subject of Disney and said "you guys will have a good time." Her way of letting me know that she was sorry? Perhaps.

Anyway thank you for your help and thoughts! I plan on having a wonderful time regardless of her being there or not!

That is wonderful, I hope she has reconsidered her spiteful words and will leave you alone. But now I will be curious how it all goes down at Disney. Will you come back and update after your trip?
Have a wonderful time!!