My family needs pixie dust :(

[SillyMe]

Thanks Darlene ~ I know you care ~ it's just hard to talk about when the kids are around.

For others ~ I have thought about the fact that he is "stepping out" believe I have asked him a few times but he swears he is not. It really would be out of character for him. He has always been honest and it is a small town so I would have heard something. Also, why would he not tell me at this point? It certainly wouldn't change anything. I am choosing to trust him until I know differently. I hope it doesn't come back to bite me.

Teresa

People always seem to assume that the spouse who is leaving, is cheating. Trust me, that is not always the case.

 

[mom2boys]

I am so sorry that you & your kids have to go through this. I hear of men making such a decision more & more. You will get through it.

 

[maryliz]

Teresa. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Take good care of yourself, and wrap yourself in hugs from those precious kiddies.

MaryLiz

 

[talicskai]

Hi guys ~ just a quick update ~ DH put in an offer on a semi-detached house last night and it was accepted on condition of financing. It is located pretty close to mine. The kids could ride their bikes and be here in about 3 minutes. I am glad for my kids but melancholy for myself and our "family" He will move Feb 23rd which is good because the kids and I are going to Orlando Feb 25th. This way the kids won't have to watch him move his stuff out of our house. We are going to pick out a Christmas tree today and then tonight is our town's parade so were are maintain a very amicable relationship for the kids. Monday we go to our joint lawyer's appointment to finalize our financial statements and determine the amount and length of spousal support. If I can just get through that I think I'll be okay. It's so hard because I still love him but have to try to be firm in my demands for future support for myself. I have full confidence in him that the kids will always be taken care of ~ he is a terrific father. I have worked part-time for 8 years (since Joshua was born) but will probably have to go full-time after he leaves. I am trying not to think about that and concentrate on the upcoming holiday season ~ Wish me lots of luck!
Teresa

 

[disneylizzy]

It will be a very bittersweet holiday for you.

Remember that you can make new traditions for you and your kids - not better or worse, but different. Life won't be the same and you have to mourn that and they do, too - but it can be good again. Good luck.

 

[mbw12]

Teresa_ i wish you a wonderful holiday this year. It will be a first of new traditions for all of you. try to make this holiday a good one....atleast for the kids sake. You are in our thoughts.

 

[talicskai]

Thanks again to everyone for their support ~ I am having a rough week but then I could be PMS'ing ~ better now than during the holidays. Today is our meeting to determine spousal support ~ I hope it stays amicable.

Teresa

 

[Microcell]

He wants out, he should pay through the nose. I don't see where there is an argument to be had.

So sorry for you to have to go through this.

 

[talicskai]

Hello everyone ~ I have tried many times to update this thread and never seem to find the words. Anyways again I want to thank you for all your kind words and thoughts back in December.
My DH moved out at the end of February (when the kids and I were at Vistana with my parents). The holiday was okay but I was very sad. It was a good distraction for the kids. We have joint custody and we have the kids every other week. Friday to Friday. At first the kids, had a tough time leaving me because I have maintained the family home, but they done extremely well. Summer has been nice ~ I have taken them camping (Pinery during last weeks heatwave!!) , African Lion Safari, swimming and boating on Lake Erie and we are making great memories. I have an amazing support system in my parents and my life long friends. I though I would be so lonely the weeks I didn't have the kids but I have too many plans and have to be careful not to double book. I am doing things I would never have done before because I couldn't afford a babysitter. Now I do them when they are at their dad's. I am going to the UK late September to visit a cousin I grew up with and haven't seen in 3 years. My parents bought a trailer and new boat down near Long Point and I go there whenever I need to get away.

Don't let my upbeat attitude fool you ~ I have cried so many tears in the past year, but those days are getting fewer. The worst days are when I see DH with his new beau and my children. They look and act like a family and that wound digs deep. At least now I know I wasn't imagining his "friendship" with her. In the end, he is a good dad and loves his children very much. Our lawyers told us it the most amicable separation he has ever done and for that I am proud. I don't wish this on anyone but if I can offer any advice ~ make sure you put your children first and foremost in the whole process.

Thanks again..............alive and well in Paris

Teresa

 

[Sandy V.]

Good for you!!

I remember your original post, and I'm glad that you updated it. I won't presume to say "I know how you feel" because I clearly don't but I just wanted to let you know that I'm so happy for you and your kids and the new lives that you're carving out for yourselves. I'm also glad that you have the support of family and friends, and that you're taking the time to do some things YOU want to do.

There will be good days and bad days; just keep on putting one foot in front of the other and you'll be surprised how far you can go. We're here for you.

Keep us posted!

 

[HappyLawyer]

I wish you the best.

 

[ZachnElli]

I'm so glad to hear you are surviving! Unfortunately, this just happened to my brother over the weekend. His wife is unhappy and no longer loves him and wants a divorce after 3 kids and 11 years. So sad. He might come stay with us for awhile. I just don't get it. I can't believe my sil did this!

 

[Blondy876]

 

[talicskai]

I'm so glad to hear you are surviving! Unfortunately, this just happened to my brother over the weekend. His wife is unhappy and no longer loves him and wants a divorce after 3 kids and 11 years. So sad. He might come stay with us for awhile. I just don't get it. I can't believe my sil did this!

I know what you mean ~ my husband and I were high school sweethearts ~ starting dating at 15 years old. We had a wonderful marriage, traveled lots, no money problems and always laughed. He lost the "spark" about two years ago and today he is a different man. I couldn't believe he would ever do this to our family but he did and I have to learn to live with it.
Tell your brother it does get easier but I'm sure it will take me years to forgive him.
Teresa

 

[chell]

Thank you for updating us. Still wishing you nothing but the very best. I'm glad to hear you are getting out and doing so much. That is wonderful!

 

[talicskai]

Well, I did the impossible yesterday. I purged "our" bedroom. I threw out all kinds of stuff and then totally redecorated! I love my new room. It is beautiful! I bought a new duvet cover, shams and painted an accent wall. I slept so good last night ~ the best I have in six months! It was extremely difficult ~ lots of tears but today I feel wonderful ~ I'll try to post some pictures of it tomorrow.

Teresa

 

[Grandma Bear]

I'm glad you are moving on. Things will get better! We care about you! Thanks for the upgrade on your situation.

 

[klmall]

Your story is very moving. I think it is such a shame that some men in particular can't express their feelings except to say "I don't love you anymore" or "I want out" when things have been bothering them for months or years.

You have become so strong and years from now you will see even more that you have learned about yourself. And I do know a little about what you have been through. My DH told me some of these same things but we worked through it and found the real reasons behind his doubts. Our marriage survived but it was very painful for me.

Thank you for sharing with us and keeping us informed. You are special!

 

[chell]

Congrats on the changes to the room!

 

[ZipaDeeDooDah]