My family and I were just in a really bad accident. **Update on p.12

[halestrm]

It is important to drive, but depending on how long the drive is to WDW, you may want to consider a train. When my car was totaled, driving was a strain. I worked my way up very slowly. Even being a passenger was too much.

For some reason the bus, taxi and train worked for me. Longer trips I used those. As the weeks went on, I added more time to my goal.

You are in my thoughts. It sounds as if your DD has what she needs, now what do you need? Please, you cannot be the pillar of strength if you can't bend for a hug and a hand. That only means you will break.

You are cared about.

 

[jfulcer]

I was in a fatal accident about 2 years ago that was just horrible in my mind. Even to this day, I can't drive through that intersection without thinking about it and tearing up. Thankfully only I was in the car so I didn't have to worry about my family being hurt, but it was pretty bad for a while for me. I didn't want to drive, but had to force myself to do it. It got better with time.

Please don't be afraid to ask for help. You don't have to be the pillar for the whole family. Let family and friends help you out as much as possible. It's nice to be able to rely on someone else for once, believe me.

 

[nwdisgal]

To you, your DH and your kids. I am so thankful you are all okay. Wow, what a freak accident, and you did a great job driving defensively. I know you are probably pretty shaken right now, actually very normal after an accident like that, but hang in there and know that you did the best that you could to help your family.

 

[Aimee K]

I can't believe they didn't take x-rays on your first visit!

I'm not a doctor, but please take your pain meds if you need them. This soon after the accident, you are in pain, and anxious, and that's completely understandable. The anxiety and injury keeps your muscles in a tensed up state, which is counterproductive to healing. The muscles need blood flow to heal. A few doses of pain meds and valium will help you jump start the healing process.

Continued prayers, hugs and pixie dust for all four of you!

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

BernardandMissBianca
Thank you! You are so sweet!!

I'm really trying to take it easy now because I had either a panic or anxiety attack tonight. We tried to do a nice family outting and we were in DH's car, it's a Subaru Tribeca(their new SUV)and it is a 7 seater. I let MIL sit in the front with DH driving(he insisted, I made him feel guilty earlier, we got into a bit of a fight)the kids were in the 2nd row and I sat in the 3rd row. Well, as soon as I sat back there I started to sweat. I told DH as he pulled away from the house I had to get out. My chest started getting tight, I was sweating and I had to get out! I tried really hard to stay calm but I couldn't. I sat in the 2nd row and had to keep the windows down and sunroof open. I've noticed everytime I get in the car(3 times today) I've had to leave the windows and sunroof open. (I didn't realize till now that I did that.

I can definitely understand you leaving the sunroof open, it was your means of escape the first time. My mom has panic attacks while driving sometimes and she's never been in an accident.
I wouldn't be surprised if you and your DH fight over the next few weeks, it's a reaction to your accident. Sometimes that how people act as a result to a trauma, it will be over some stupid things though so be aware. My DH and I do that sometimes, especially after something traumatic that we couldn't control. Fighting gave us a sense of that control back. You probably felt more out of control since DH was driving.
Have you thought about talking to a professional? You sought one out for your DD and DH but I think you might need one too. Everyone is right, you can't be a rock forever, its not good of you. I wonder if there is a counselor out there for this purpose, accidents I mean. You know, someone who could help with the anxiety of getting into the car.

How did your night go? Did DD sleep any better?

 

[Martha7]

I agree that you may need to take half of one of your DH's valium pills if he's driving. I also like the suggestion that you spend some time with a counselor too. This really was major trauma, and you all need plenty of time and TLC to get better. By the way, you should send a letter to the Jeep people about how your Cherokee held up for you. Maybe you'll get something back from them!

 

[Desnik]

I have to share with you all how proud I am of DD. She slept in her own bed last night and went to school today! She seems to be doing better and actually likes the attention she is getting from people at school.

BernardandMissBianca
I was the one driving during the accident.
DH and I will both be seeing a therapist next week, I believe on Mon.
Today DH and I went the Dr. and had a follow up check up because we were told to by the ER Dr and also because frankly, they stunk and I would just trust their evaluation. Anyway, I have deep tissue damage in my neck and back. We were advised to go to physical theropy and told that some injuries won't show themselves for a few days or a week. We have a follow up check up on Tues. DH was told to stay out of work, he said he's going back on Mon. He works in the city and it's a 70 mile drive each way and I'm worried for him. I feel like emotionally and physically, and mentally I'm wiped out! Today I've been crying on and off. I hate being in the car and I'm so on edge when I'm in the car. I feel like everyone is coming into our lane or into us. And I am even more aware of all the idiot drivers out there! One guy next to us in a van was looking for something and had his head down and leaning over!!! It gets me so mad.

Otto's Doll
Thanks! You are very kind. DH and I were doing some investigating and we found out that at that same spot of our accident there have been 4 accidents within the last 6 months. 3 of them the cars flipped!!!

Now I am just so angry about alot of things. Like who connected the trailor to the cab, why didn't the driver check it, why was he speeding, etc... The insurance company is doing a full investigation because of how the trailor snapped off. It really is unbelievable. They have really been great and are treating us so nicely, like friends, not clients.

I do know I have alot to be thankful for.

Right now I really want to go on our trip in Nov. We all really need it. However there really is no way I can do the drive. DH says he can, because his fear of flying is much greater than his fear of the car! I just can't put myself through it, I know I will be on edge the whole time and be miserable. I am going to look into flying with the kids and DH can drive down. Hey, at least I won't have to worry about our luggage! DH can take all our stuff down for us!!

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

BernardandMissBianca
I was the one driving during the accident.

I meant when DH was driving you to your family outing. I would have been panicky too.
I'm glad your DD is doing better, kids bounce back pretty well.

You are justifiably angry, I would be too. I would definitely want some answers and I'm sure the insurance companies want them too.
Yes, there are tons of idiot drivers on the road. Some days I ask myself why I even bothered getting my license.

Don't cancel your trip just yet, November is still a little ways away. Hey you could always join us in December! Seriously, I would "sleep" on it. You may just end up enjoying yourself even more if you do go.

I wish I could just reach through the computer and hug you guys. I feel so bad that something like this has to happen. I have to say though that your story makes me appreciate what time we have. DH travels 40-45 weeks a year so I know how you feel about your DH traveling so far for work. Mine tends to be out of the country more than he's in. This certainly helps push even harder for him to get off the road. Hopefully by the end of the year he will be switching jobs so he will mostly travel into NYC via the train.

Keep us posted! Now I'm off to put the kiddies to bed. DS9 has his first cross country meet tomorrow. I think I'm more nervous than he is.

 

[chell]

Oh my! You poor thing. So glad you and your family made it through with as few injuries as you did. I'll pray for you all to heal emotionally as well very quickly.

 

[escape]

Desnik,

Hugs to you! Hang in there... each new day will bring you more strength and courage. I sincerely hope you get to go to Disney in November. This will give you and your family something good to look forward to.

Also, thanks for keeping us posted on how your family is doing. I'll keep you all in my prayers for a speedy recovery.

Take care!

Susie

 

[Desnik]

Thanks everyone for being so supportive!

I found out that the driver of the truck is OK!!!! Thank God! I was told that he really feels terrible about what happened. Someone from the trucking co. insurance company came to our house today and DH and I refused to speak with him. However, he told us "off the record" that he went to the crash site the day it happened and he saw the juice box holder and a toy of DS and he just couldn't take it. He was so choked up because he couldn't believe how horrible the accident was. Anyway, he said he checked the trailor and it looks like the back wheels of the trailor broke off too. What a mess.
Anyway, DH and I went to a lawyer. Please don't think that I'm out to get money but we are so angry at all involved, this should've never happened and if it did once it could again. Our lawyer told us that they will look into why there has been so many accidents in the same spot over the summer. I really wish I could take this as far as getting the speed limit dropped back to 55mph, instead of 65mph and get better signage that the 3 lanes go into 2 lanes at that particular bend in the road.(where the truck driver was) I'm sure that I can't change that but I will surely try my hardest!!
DH was joking with me and said that if we got money he knows where I would spend it, DVC!!!LOL I needed that laugh, he knows me so well.

 

[luvthatduke]

Glad the driver is OK, and Insurance Agents have hearts too - LOL!
But you & your DH did the right thing by not having
an "on the record" conversation with him.
You know, I'm the first one to say the USA's way too
litigious, but it's cases like yours where sometimes a
smack in somebody's pocketbook is what will work best.
The fact that he was speeding apparently,
and more than that the obvious poor condition of
the vehicle - or at least the trailer part - my goodness,
it's an act of God IMHO that you all weren't killed or
at least seriously injured.
So do what you need to do, no guilt please!

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Hugs! So glad you are okay.

 

[Desnik]

Can I just vent?
I'm so stressed out!!

DD isn't doing well. We had to have a meeting with the school social worker. Be havior problems. She came in my bed again last night. She doesn't want to be alone.

Then today the insurance co. called and said they weren't going to "total" the car, they'll fix it!!!
Then after alot of back and forth with DH telling him(the adjuster) stuff about how is it possible, etc, etc. Then they call back and say OK, it's totaled. Gave us a claim number. So then we were OK. Then he said they will need the title. Well, I can't find it!!!! I always keep all the car info in a file and all my paper work for the Jeep is missing!!! I think I'm lossing it! Can't find it anywhere and we've torn the house apart. Now I have to see if a duplicate is OK and then order one from the DMV. Then, it gets worse. Since it's a leased vehicle and I'm in NY there is no GAP insurance!!! So, the insurance company is saying it's worth $20,000 and the pay off is $24,000!!! We're responsible for the $4000!!! Not to mention that I put $2000 on the car only a year ago! That's gone. And I have to keep making car payments of $400 a month on a car I don't have!!! And we need to get another car and we'll need money to put down on it. I'm so angry that this is happening. I keep trying to just be thankful that we're alive. It's so hard to deal with the fact that this accident happened to us and then we have to go through all this other stuff. Not to mention the fact that my back is killing me. DH and I have to go to physical theropy. I'm just so drained by all this. And the people who caused this, well they don't have to go through anything! You think their lives have been altered by this? I'm talking about the trucking company. I know the driver must be in some physical pain too. But, it was his fault too!! I'm sorry I should just stop typing now. I'm really mad and I need to chill out.

 

[lynetteSC]

 

[minniecarousel]

ugh! I sure hope you can recover all the $$$$ you're putting out. Keep accurate records as you go along here. I'm sure the duplicate of title from the DMV will suffice.

Hang in there.

 

[Aimee K]

 

[rasnlms]

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Can I just vent?
I'm so stressed out!!

DD isn't doing well. We had to have a meeting with the school social worker. Be havior problems. She came in my bed again last night. She doesn't want to be alone.

Sorry about all your troubles.

I was going to suggest this earlier...but for some reason chose not too.

My aunt was in a car accident with both of her daughters. The oldest (but young) daughter had just finished therapy for something. And the accident put her right back into it b/c she was just too traumatized from the accident (nailed in an interesection).

It would probably be a very good idea to take your daughter to a psychologist for counseling.

 

[Beth76]

I'm so sorry. About the title, I would forget about it for a day and relax. Then try to look for it again. It's possible you were looking right at it and you just couldn't "see" it. Also, have you contacted an attorney?