My Eye Opening MySpace tour (long)

[Marseeya]

I came across one of my best friend's DD's page the other day. I thought about it for a while, then called her that evening to tell her about it. I figured if it was one of my kids, I'd want to know. The conversation went something like... her: "what are you doing?" me: "welllllll, i'm looking at your daughter's myspace page right now." her: "............" She was a little bit shocked by some of what was on it, but it really wasn't as bad as some of the other kids in this group.

 

[laura001]

Oh MY GOSH!!!! I just went onto the link for myspace and did a search around our postal code. I was happy to see that neither my daughter nor any of her close friends were on there .....but I did find a whole group of girls that she was in grade 8 with last year. They are all on there as being 18 and 19 years old....THEY ARE 14 I spent some time looking at the profiles and pictures of them smoking and drinking ....oh my! I will be looking at blocking that site from my home computer if I can figure out how to do it. Thanks so much for the heads up!!

 

[Evil Princess]

Facebook is completely different than MySpace. It was created at first for networking within colleges, and has just recently opened up to high schoolers.

I know with the college kids you need a valid university e-mail and must confirm it, so theres no way of getting around the "You must have attended school here" thing.

The high school site and college site are not linked, and high schoolers cannot friend college kids and vice versa. You must be invited to the high school site by someone who already is on the Facebook and is at your high school...I don't really know how that works since I'm not in high school.

I can tell you that Facebook is drastically different than myspace. No annoying music in the background, no obnoxious colors, kind of a simple survey profile and the option to put up pictures, join groups, and write messages on each others wall. While it's not completely innocent, (hey, it's a bunch of college kids, no one's photo album is going to be 100% innocent) it's not in your face blatantly out of control.

You can report people and their pictures as well.

Myspace is a WHOLE nother ballgame. I have one, and I know every friend in person. I hate it, I can't stand how obnoxious it is, but it is another form of procrastination and some old high school friends found me on there.

I have a family friend's daughter on there...I am shocked at her profile. I remember being 12 and 13 too, but this was when AOL was practically the only form of internet and we weren't as completely intertwined with the computer as the younger generations are now. Her profile says that she's about 17, she comes across as incredibly self assured, and she has a new boyfriend each week (one, that I might add, she's "In LOVE with".

 

[tiggger1]

I disagree, its not myspace that is bad, it is mostly the unsupervised teens, who make it seem like a bad thing. I am 29 years old and have almost 60 people on my page. I know all but 2 of them personally. and not 1 person on my friends list have anything that I wouldnt be able to see or hear at a local high school or mall. Its sad that people assume that it is myspaces fault when the one thing that would help is parent supervision. I have a few teens on my page ( i do theatre with them and have known them for years) all of there parents are aware of their pages and SUPERVISE there use. If you dont trust your child on myspace then you certainly shouldnt trust your child on AOL, AIM, yahoo messenger, live journal, or the million other message boards on the internet. Its all the same. Its not myspaces fault or problem. If your child LIED about its age to get on, then maybe they shouldnt be online to begin with with your full supervison.


this message isnt to anyone in particular, is just that there have been a million "Myspace is horrible" posts and every is blaming myspace, not the lack of adult internet supervision that their children seem to have.

 

[Free4Life11]

Just found my sisters Myspace account. Nothing bad and in the survey she even said no drinking, no smoking, and doesn't usually swear, whew. She doesn't have a picture up either, though one of her friends has already commented on that saying she needs to "put up some pics!" I think my parents would have a fit if she put pictures on there! All of her friends already know what she looks like anyways...and after seeing the Dateline specials, that last thing I want is some creep finding pictures of her!

To do a search, just click on "Search" and then enter a name or email. I've found that entering an email is a good way to find them as doing a name search didn't bring anything up.

I think MySpace is ok IF you set ground rules. As in can they put up a picture, don't give out too much info, let them know you'll be reading their page AND reading their friends...

 

[LadyyRedd]

I have a Myspace account, but I'm 30. I use it only to find those that I went to HS, college, etc with. I don't have anyone on my friends list that I don't know "in real life", with the exception of one person from Disboards. I get a lot of "friend requests" and I generally delete them.

Kimya

 

[FreshTressa]

I have been internet stalked and there is NO way I'm having a myspace or a blog.

 

[ChrisFL]

I disagree, its not myspace that is bad, it is mostly the unsupervised teens, who make it seem like a bad thing. I am 29 years old and have almost 60 people on my page. I know all but 2 of them personally. and not 1 person on my friends list have anything that I wouldnt be able to see or hear at a local high school or mall. Its sad that people assume that it is myspaces fault when the one thing that would help is parent supervision. I have a few teens on my page ( i do theatre with them and have known them for years) all of there parents are aware of their pages and SUPERVISE there use. If you dont trust your child on myspace then you certainly shouldnt trust your child on AOL, AIM, yahoo messenger, live journal, or the million other message boards on the internet. Its all the same. Its not myspaces fault or problem. If your child LIED about its age to get on, then maybe they shouldnt be online to begin with with your full supervison.


this message isnt to anyone in particular, is just that there have been a million "Myspace is horrible" posts and every is blaming myspace, not the lack of adult internet supervision that their children seem to have.

EXACTLY!!

I don't understand the idea that myspace causes this to happen...it's just a website...you can post practically whatever you want to on it. Other people post whatever they want to and you CHOOSE to add or not add friends...it's a 2 way deal. There is no special oath to follow, you don't have to do drugs to join or anything like that.

I suppose if, many years ago, Geocities had a "Friends" option, then everyone would be calling it the work of the devil also.

In some ways it can be advantageous, as you get to find out more about certain people than you might otherwise. I'm 27 and found women that wanted to be added to my friends list, but when I see what they're into, I realize I don't want to be their friend.

I read the other day that there's approximately 180,000 new myspace members a day, and 55 MILLION on there already...somehow I don't think that most of them are druggies, perverts, etc. I've personally found a lot of friends I lost touch with, just because there wasn't any easier way to find them.

MySpace, just like EVERY OTHER internet activity has to be monitored if you're a parent.

 

[Amberle3]

Myspace is what you make of it. Yes there's a lot of questionable stuff on there. There's also a lot of non-questionable stuff. I have a friend there who's a teacher (private school) and uses his myspace account to keep in touch with current and former students. I know several bands who have myspace pages. If you WANT to use it to display the more unseemly aspects of your personality then you can certainly do that. Just because the opportunity is there doesn't mean you have to avail yourself of it.

 

[cruisnfamily]

This si all the rage at DD13's middle school. DD has a myspace account which we require her to make private. She is only allowed to add friends (or friends of friends) that she has personally met and knows. No weirdos on her site! We monitor it daily! My DH joined and has added all her friends to his account and had them add him. He browses all their sites and sends them messages about possibly inappropriate things/comments/friends/etc. The one he truly monitors is DD's. He's told her if he finds anything at all remotely inappropriate then it's gone! If he finds any of her friends sites and/or comments inappropriate, then they're gone! She's not happy that he's doing this but that's the deal. We monitor it or we don't let you do it at all.

DH asked one of her friends who a particular friend of hers was(that was linked on her site) and she never answered him but lo and behold, she removed that friend from her site. It was an icky nasty site with pictures of people chewing razor blades and yucky stuff. DD's friends are probably not thrilled her "daddy" is checking up on them too but if I think they're lucky he's there....at least one adult in their life is looking after them.

So, at our house anyway, we proceed with caution. Lots of parental involvement in it here.

 

[AMcaptured]

My sixteen yo has a myspace account and she is aware that I log onto it and check it out every day. She also has a post that says "to all my friends, don't forget to say hi to my mom because she cyber stalks me and loves to comment after she reads your posts about all the bad things you have been doing".....LOLOL

I think the "bad" thing about myspace is the amount of parents who have NO IDEA what their kids are up to online.

In many ways I am glad its out there and that there are so many STUPID kids who don't think twice about telling the world they were stoned or drunk the night before. Never mind the girls talking about their "first" times!!! It allows me to keep an eye on what my daughters friends are doing when and when they are not around her. I do however feel sorry for all the obivious parents who don't have a clue what their teenagers are revealing to the world.

Also, and this has nothing to do with myspace, but I am personally disgusted with the amount of whorishness that is SO prevealent in todays teenage girls. Girls showing off their clevage and wearing their thongs above their pants is just beyond slutish to me. Luckily, my daughter doesn't dress like that but some of her friends pictures on myspace make me want to throw up.

 

[simpilotswife]

I wonder if some of these kids realize that all it takes is a "right click" and copy, for their picture of questionable taste to be captured forever by someone they don't know. Who knows, years later, when they're running for president, out comes the picture from cyberspace...

The Director of Computer Operations told us a few weeks ago that colleges and employers are starting to look prospective students/employees up on myspace.com. Apparently the history for the site goes back 10 years.

 

[cruisnfamily]

The Director of Computer Operations told us a few weeks ago that colleges and employers are starting to look prospective students/employees up on myspace.com. Apparently the history for the site goes back 10 years.

And how in the world would they find them? I can't even find my daughter's my space without linking to it from my DH's page. She isn't listed under her own name but some silly screen name. She also doesn't have her town or her school.

 

[cruisnfamily]

She also has a post that says "to all my friends, don't forget to say hi to my mom because she cyber stalks me and loves to comment after she reads your posts about all the bad things you have been doing".....LOLOL

I actually like this! I'd love it if my DD had a comment like this on her myspace(except it would have to say "my dad" because he does the cyber stalking)

 

[AdventurerKat]

I have a Myspace account...as do my 37 y.o. husband, 39 y.o. best friend, and several other "old folks" in my circle of friends.

While I understand the dangers in cyberspace for teens/kids, used responsibly its been alot of fun and I have found out about alot of local bands/places I would not have been aware of otherwise being in a new town.

 

[Philadisney]

I have a Myspace account...as do my 37 y.o. husband, 39 y.o. best friend, and several other "old folks" in my circle of friends.

While I understand the dangers in cyberspace for teens/kids, used responsibly its been alot of fun and I have found out about alot of local bands/places I would not have been aware of otherwise being in a new town.

i am in my mid-20's and have one also, i use it to keep in touch with friends from high school and college that i have not seen since graduating. myspace has allowed me to see what old friends are up to who i would have otherwise completely lost contact with.
before i put ANYTHING on my myspace page, i ask myself 2 things: "could some wacko track me down via this piece of information?" and "am i okay with my parents/younger family members/co-workers seeing this?" unfortunately, many teens don't think about that.
i hire interns for the office i work at, and had a great interview today with a prospective hire. out of curiousity, i checked to see if he had a myspace page, and he did - where he had several comments about how much he hates homosexuals and their 'filthy, disgusting lifestyle'. ok, so i'm not going to not hire him becos of his personal beliefs, but boy i'll sure look at him differently from now on.

 

[cruisnfamily]

i hire interns for the office i work at, and had a great interview today with a prospective hire. out of curiousity, i checked to see if he had a myspace page, and he did -

how exactly did you find him? I keep asking how you all are so successful in your searches because I am trying to search out a particular aquaintance of DD's and am having no luck. give me some pointers.

 

[Philadisney]

how exactly did you find him? I keep asking how you all are so successful in your searches because I am trying to search out a particular aquaintance of DD's and am having no luck. give me some pointers.

there's a 'search' function on myspace.com - i just typed in his first & last name, and voila, there he was.

 

[Sylvester McBean]

It CAN be a great tool to locate old friends, but as far as keeping in touch with them...that's what e'mail is for.

some of the other arguments in defense of myspace remind me of the old line
"but I only read Playboy for the articles..." Sure, myspace can be a really useful tool, but do you want your kids exposed to all the other crap that goes along with it just because it's "cool"?

I think "we" as parents seem to be afraid to take a stand on things like this.

she uses email, aim, msn messenger, a tricked-out webcam, telephone, and myspace to keep up with her old friends. if you don't think I'm not monitoring ANY of those conversations, you're way off the mark. and since you don't live in my home, don't question my parental skills. ok?